Considering it’s only 8 seconds this must be the fastest fucking elevator ever so I’m probably screaming
You have 8 seconds.
Submitted 2 weeks ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/892ca055-acc0-4952-910a-286b77a1f850.jpeg
Comments
Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Damage@feddit.it 2 weeks ago
The elevator is actually out of order, she likes hanging in there, but you leave as soon as you see it doesn’t work
littlewonder@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Is she a ghost?
Mac@mander.xyz 2 weeks ago
I make brief eye contact, purse my lips to form a half-smile, and nod my head downward. Then i move to an open corner of the elevator, i pull my phone out, and i end my turn.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 1 week ago
The elevator stops at the next floor and a Chadbro™ enters. He does not notice you, and does not press any buttons on the elevator. He sniffs his pits before posting his hand on the wall beside the woman and whispers something in her ear. Her face changes to disgust and she darts a pleading glance in your direction, silently asking for help.
I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 1 week ago
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Good_morning@lemmynsfw.com 1 week ago
I smile casually then turn slightly away from them before sitting down crossed legs facing away, trying to focus on my romantic web comics.
Emi@ani.social 2 weeks ago
Nothing and just awkwardly stare on the floor or wall, like with anyone else.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Second 1: introduce myself Second 2: Andrew Tate pose Second 3: obtain phone number Second 4: go on date Second 5: head home with them Second 6: get touchy Second 7: undress Second 8: get off at my floor because I already came at second 1.
EllenKelly@hexbear.net 2 weeks ago
Youre disgusting.
GiveOver@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
I know, who gets phone numbers these days?
Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Yeah my bad for responding to the premise with sexual comedy rather than quirky comedy
Slovene@feddit.nl 1 week ago
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Absolutely nothing because people who have elevator conversations are not worth talking to.
butter@midwest.social 1 week ago
Hey. Some of my best conversations have taken place in an elevator.
But yeah, I’m not worth talking to
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Well, considering the only elevator I take is to a secure area, I’d ask to see your visitor’s badge and inform you civilians aren’t allowed here unescorted.
Slovene@feddit.nl 1 week ago
She IS the escort.
rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
I got a gift card from the airport for challenging the “secret shopper” once. Apparently had walked past four actual employees before I challenged him. I was on my way to the jobsite.
meliaesc@lemmynsfw.com 1 week ago
Why do you assume she doesn’t have clearance?
Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 1 week ago
No access badge clearly visible attached between neck and waist.
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 1 week ago
We have 11 people with clearance and I know them all.
Toofpic@feddit.dk 1 week ago
Only cleav…ance. Haha!
Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That’s because you have big jugs.
I mean, I want to squeeze em!
Mamma!
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I was thinking about this exact scene
RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Risky click of the day paid off
TachyonTele@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Damn. Mod removed my comment because it said “boobies”. Surprised yours is still up.
azalty@jlai.lu 1 week ago
What the fuck was that x)
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Liar liar. 90s movie where Jim Carey plays a lawyer that gets put under a spell or something n then can’t tell a lie anymore.
psmgx@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Well, Pac-man was originally called Puck-man. They changed it because… Not because Pac-man looks like a hockey puck. “Paku Paku” means “flap your mouth”, and they were worried that people would change, scratch out the P turn it into an F, like…
lischni_tschelowek@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Were you the Pac-man guy?
Quadhammer@lemmy.world 1 week ago
No I was the fuck man guy… wait
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
I wouldn’t say anything because some women find elevator pickup attempts intimidating.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
Tbf women say they find just interacting with men at all intimidating, see: Bears. I just don’t talk to anyone anymore tbh.
I’m gonna die alone with my cats, but at least I won’t be called creepy for asking a woman out for coffee!
Use the apps
No, privacy nightmare.
kilgore_trout@feddit.it 1 week ago
Don’t trust what the loud voices say.
Many, if not most, women are normal humans like you, looking for interaction like you.
fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Women won’t let men leave until they’ve squashed a bug that’s 20 feet away from them. The bear thing was always bullshit.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
No that’s not fair, they do not. Don’t be creepy in the elevator, or alone in the woods, or anywhere else where you guys are gonna say “because of the implication”.
hex@programming.dev 1 week ago
That’s just wrong and putting a blanket statement for no reason.
isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Way back when I was single, I could pick up a woman without even having to corner her.
Wanderer@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Just follow the good old rules of 1 and 2.
It’s not hard
lemonmelon@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Don’t talk about fight club?
DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB?
Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
If you jump at the right moment, you can achieve weightlessness.
Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Nothing because I’m taking the stairs
Superfool@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Get in the lift.
Stare while ripping an absolutely rancid fart that strips the enamel off her teeth.
Sharpie my number across her tits and give her “double-guns” on the way out
isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Superfool@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Illecors@lemmy.cafe 1 week ago
Thanks for making me laugh!
Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Omg girl, you look amazing in that dress. I’m so jealous. Be safe girl and remember to cover your drink.
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Literally the only correct answer other than polite silence.
Damage@feddit.it 2 weeks ago
There’s always “hello” and “have a nice day”
callouscomic@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
“I need less time to finish.”
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 2 weeks ago
I don’t understand. What’s a uniform gravitational field and why does it feel like standing in an accelerating elevator?
GrabtharsHammer@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This is a joke about Einstein’s form of the Equivalence Principle:
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 2 weeks ago
The weak equivalence principle, also known as the universality of free fall or the Galilean equivalence principle can be stated in many ways.
And
“… in a uniform gravitational field all objects, regardless of their composition, fall with precisely the same acceleration.” “The weak equivalence principle implicitly assumes that the falling objects are bound by non-gravitational forces.”[11]
I’m just beginning to understand. I’m not there yet.
woodenghost@hexbear.net 2 weeks ago
It’s just that normal gravity on earth feels exactly like being in an accelerating escalator in space. So you can’t tell the difference from the inside. Like in the elevator you can ask them, wether your still on earth or accelerating in space. Einstein used this thought experiment to develop the general theory of relativity.
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 1 week ago
Aaah. I understand. :)
Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 2 weeks ago
Nothing. It’s eight seconds and both of us are probably going to be glancing at our phones anyway.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 week ago
I was expecting this to be a video where her tits bounce in an elevator. Thoroughly disappointed.
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
This is getting insane. I (somewhat at least) get those “you have 24hs with me” ones but what am i gonna do with you in 8 seconds. Id rather spend 24h with an egirl than 8 seconds with you lol.
problematicPanther@lemmy.world 1 week ago
If a hotdog is a sandwich, is the ocean a soup?
TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 1 week ago
A hotdog is not a sandwich.
If you serve bacon, lettuce, and tomato on a plate, you do not call that a sandwich.
But if you serve a hotdog without a bun, you still call it a hotdog.
QED.
ben_dover@lemmy.ml 1 week ago
In German, that would be a just a sausage
samus12345@lemmy.world 1 week ago
And using that same reasoning, a hotdog on a bun is a sandwich.
fossilesque@mander.xyz 1 week ago
It is The Primordial Soup
Agent641@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I would like the primordial salad instead
AllOutOfBubbleGum@lemmy.world 1 week ago
A hotdog is a taco.
nobleshift@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
[deleted]badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That’s how you can tell if you’re accelerating
socsa@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
For a small moment in time my dick and my brain will have separable frames of reference
GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
“Nice uhh, b-leather we’re having, uh.”
cry, drop my spaghetti and run out
A7thStone@lemmy.world 1 week ago
You don’t have the proper PPE for the radiologically controlled area.
Hikermick@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Going down?
just_an_average_joe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Realistically nothing. You gain very little by saying something then you lose not saying anything. The only time people somewhat appreciate being talked to is when they already recognise you a little…
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
What floor?
TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The modern mind is in complete disarray. Knowledge has stretched itself to the point where neither the world nor our intelligence can find any foot-hold. It is a fact that we are suffering from nihilism.
samus12345@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Nothing, I don’t like small talk with strangers.
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 1 week ago
Tip my fedora and say M’Lady
jaschen@lemm.ee 1 week ago
Does someone have the rest of the photo set or video… For research.
iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Absolutely nothing, because I wouldn’t want a stranger to talk to me in an elevator and I was raised to do unto others.
theneverfox@pawb.social 1 week ago
I feel awkward being in public without interaction. It’s like my brain goes into overdrive, trying to predict a sudden interaction incoming like a quick time event
I’d comment on something slightly more relevant than the weather, because the conversation can then fade to comfortable silence (for me at least) knowing no more conversation is likely, or I’d do what I always do when someone engages - everyone has something interesting about them, I’ll throw the conversation in random directions until I find a topic worth speaking about