Considering it’s only 8 seconds this must be the fastest fucking elevator ever so I’m probably screaming
You have 8 seconds.
Submitted 6 months ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/892ca055-acc0-4952-910a-286b77a1f850.jpeg
Comments
Fleur_@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Damage@feddit.it 6 months ago
The elevator is actually out of order, she likes hanging in there, but you leave as soon as you see it doesn’t work
littlewonder@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Is she a ghost?
Mac@mander.xyz 6 months ago
I make brief eye contact, purse my lips to form a half-smile, and nod my head downward. Then i move to an open corner of the elevator, i pull my phone out, and i end my turn.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 6 months ago
The elevator stops at the next floor and a Chadbro™ enters. He does not notice you, and does not press any buttons on the elevator. He sniffs his pits before posting his hand on the wall beside the woman and whispers something in her ear. Her face changes to disgust and she darts a pleading glance in your direction, silently asking for help.
I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 6 months ago
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Good_morning@lemmynsfw.com 6 months ago
I smile casually then turn slightly away from them before sitting down crossed legs facing away, trying to focus on my romantic web comics.
Emi@ani.social 6 months ago
Nothing and just awkwardly stare on the floor or wall, like with anyone else.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Second 1: introduce myself Second 2: Andrew Tate pose Second 3: obtain phone number Second 4: go on date Second 5: head home with them Second 6: get touchy Second 7: undress Second 8: get off at my floor because I already came at second 1.
EllenKelly@hexbear.net 6 months ago
Youre disgusting.
GiveOver@feddit.uk 6 months ago
I know, who gets phone numbers these days?
Fleur_@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Yeah my bad for responding to the premise with sexual comedy rather than quirky comedy
Slovene@feddit.nl 6 months ago
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
Absolutely nothing because people who have elevator conversations are not worth talking to.
butter@midwest.social 6 months ago
Hey. Some of my best conversations have taken place in an elevator.
But yeah, I’m not worth talking to
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Well, considering the only elevator I take is to a secure area, I’d ask to see your visitor’s badge and inform you civilians aren’t allowed here unescorted.
Slovene@feddit.nl 6 months ago
She IS the escort.
rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
I got a gift card from the airport for challenging the “secret shopper” once. Apparently had walked past four actual employees before I challenged him. I was on my way to the jobsite.
meliaesc@lemmynsfw.com 6 months ago
Why do you assume she doesn’t have clearance?
Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 6 months ago
No access badge clearly visible attached between neck and waist.
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 6 months ago
We have 11 people with clearance and I know them all.
Toofpic@feddit.dk 6 months ago
Only cleav…ance. Haha!
Anticorp@lemmy.world 6 months ago
That’s because you have big jugs.
I mean, I want to squeeze em!
Mamma!
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I was thinking about this exact scene
RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Risky click of the day paid off
TachyonTele@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Damn. Mod removed my comment because it said “boobies”. Surprised yours is still up.
azalty@jlai.lu 6 months ago
What the fuck was that x)
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Liar liar. 90s movie where Jim Carey plays a lawyer that gets put under a spell or something n then can’t tell a lie anymore.
psmgx@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Well, Pac-man was originally called Puck-man. They changed it because… Not because Pac-man looks like a hockey puck. “Paku Paku” means “flap your mouth”, and they were worried that people would change, scratch out the P turn it into an F, like…
lischni_tschelowek@discuss.tchncs.de 6 months ago
Were you the Pac-man guy?
Quadhammer@lemmy.world 6 months ago
No I was the fuck man guy… wait
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
If you jump at the right moment, you can achieve weightlessness.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
I wouldn’t say anything because some women find elevator pickup attempts intimidating.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Tbf women say they find just interacting with men at all intimidating, see: Bears. I just don’t talk to anyone anymore tbh.
I’m gonna die alone with my cats, but at least I won’t be called creepy for asking a woman out for coffee!
Use the apps
No, privacy nightmare.
kilgore_trout@feddit.it 6 months ago
Don’t trust what the loud voices say.
Many, if not most, women are normal humans like you, looking for interaction like you.
fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Women won’t let men leave until they’ve squashed a bug that’s 20 feet away from them. The bear thing was always bullshit.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
No that’s not fair, they do not. Don’t be creepy in the elevator, or alone in the woods, or anywhere else where you guys are gonna say “because of the implication”.
hex@programming.dev 6 months ago
That’s just wrong and putting a blanket statement for no reason.
isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 6 months ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Way back when I was single, I could pick up a woman without even having to corner her.
Wanderer@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Just follow the good old rules of 1 and 2.
It’s not hard
lemonmelon@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Don’t talk about fight club?
DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB?
Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de 6 months ago
Nothing because I’m taking the stairs
Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 months ago
Omg girl, you look amazing in that dress. I’m so jealous. Be safe girl and remember to cover your drink.
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Literally the only correct answer other than polite silence.
Damage@feddit.it 6 months ago
There’s always “hello” and “have a nice day”
callouscomic@lemm.ee 6 months ago
“I need less time to finish.”
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 6 months ago
I don’t understand. What’s a uniform gravitational field and why does it feel like standing in an accelerating elevator?
GrabtharsHammer@lemmy.world 6 months ago
This is a joke about Einstein’s form of the Equivalence Principle:
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 6 months ago
The weak equivalence principle, also known as the universality of free fall or the Galilean equivalence principle can be stated in many ways.
And
“… in a uniform gravitational field all objects, regardless of their composition, fall with precisely the same acceleration.” “The weak equivalence principle implicitly assumes that the falling objects are bound by non-gravitational forces.”[11]
I’m just beginning to understand. I’m not there yet.
woodenghost@hexbear.net 6 months ago
It’s just that normal gravity on earth feels exactly like being in an accelerating escalator in space. So you can’t tell the difference from the inside. Like in the elevator you can ask them, wether your still on earth or accelerating in space. Einstein used this thought experiment to develop the general theory of relativity.
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 6 months ago
Aaah. I understand. :)
Superfool@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Get in the lift.
Stare while ripping an absolutely rancid fart that strips the enamel off her teeth.
Sharpie my number across her tits and give her “double-guns” on the way out
isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 6 months ago
Superfool@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Illecors@lemmy.cafe 6 months ago
Thanks for making me laugh!
Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 6 months ago
Nothing. It’s eight seconds and both of us are probably going to be glancing at our phones anyway.
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 6 months ago
This is getting insane. I (somewhat at least) get those “you have 24hs with me” ones but what am i gonna do with you in 8 seconds. Id rather spend 24h with an egirl than 8 seconds with you lol.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 6 months ago
I was expecting this to be a video where her tits bounce in an elevator. Thoroughly disappointed.
problematicPanther@lemmy.world 6 months ago
If a hotdog is a sandwich, is the ocean a soup?
TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 6 months ago
A hotdog is not a sandwich.
If you serve bacon, lettuce, and tomato on a plate, you do not call that a sandwich.
But if you serve a hotdog without a bun, you still call it a hotdog.
QED.
ben_dover@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
In German, that would be a just a sausage
samus12345@lemmy.world 6 months ago
And using that same reasoning, a hotdog on a bun is a sandwich.
fossilesque@mander.xyz 6 months ago
It is The Primordial Soup
Agent641@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I would like the primordial salad instead
AllOutOfBubbleGum@lemmy.world 6 months ago
A hotdog is a taco.
nobleshift@lemmy.world 6 months ago
[deleted]badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world 6 months ago
That’s how you can tell if you’re accelerating
socsa@piefed.social 6 months ago
For a small moment in time my dick and my brain will have separable frames of reference
Hikermick@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Going down?
just_an_average_joe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Realistically nothing. You gain very little by saying something then you lose not saying anything. The only time people somewhat appreciate being talked to is when they already recognise you a little…
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 6 months ago
What floor?
GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
“Nice uhh, b-leather we’re having, uh.”
cry, drop my spaghetti and run out
A7thStone@lemmy.world 6 months ago
You don’t have the proper PPE for the radiologically controlled area.
TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 6 months ago
The modern mind is in complete disarray. Knowledge has stretched itself to the point where neither the world nor our intelligence can find any foot-hold. It is a fact that we are suffering from nihilism.
samus12345@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Nothing, I don’t like small talk with strangers.
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
Tip my fedora and say M’Lady
Hestia@hexbear.net 6 months ago
sorry, i have a girlfriend already.
iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Absolutely nothing, because I wouldn’t want a stranger to talk to me in an elevator and I was raised to do unto others.
theneverfox@pawb.social 6 months ago
I feel awkward being in public without interaction. It’s like my brain goes into overdrive, trying to predict a sudden interaction incoming like a quick time event
I’d comment on something slightly more relevant than the weather, because the conversation can then fade to comfortable silence (for me at least) knowing no more conversation is likely, or I’d do what I always do when someone engages - everyone has something interesting about them, I’ll throw the conversation in random directions until I find a topic worth speaking about