It's almost impossible to deny being an alcoholic without sounding like an alcoholic

Comments

• Wirrvogel@feddit.de ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Not so funny when it actually happens to you:

  Because of really bad experiences with alcoholics as a child, I am afraid of people who drink. My psychologist and my doctor wrote that down.

  When I became seriously ill and could no longer work in my old job, I had to retrain. To do this, you have to go to the German employment office and get an assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, including what your doctor and therapist have to say.

  They read the paper from my doctor and my psychologist, but just skimmed over the words and decided that because the word “alcoholic” was there, I must be the alcoholic. They told me that I could get paid retraining and benefits, but only if I attended a therapy group for alcoholics once a week - me, who is afraid of alcoholics because of the abuse I suffered as a child. … I immediately started crying and swore that I had no problem with alcohol, only with alcoholics!

  It took 6 months to get someone at the job centre to actually read the papers word for word to find out that me saying “I’m not an alcoholic” was not me being an alcoholic in denial. I got a half-assed apology and my retraining 6 months after I could have started it because of this. Not to mention that every time I refused to go to AA meetings they threatened to take away my benefits and I was in such a bad mental state that I probably would have killed myself without the help of my family. Oh, and my family who tried to intervene were labelled as co-alcoholics.

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  • possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That is terrible and I am so sorry.

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  • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    They do AA in Germany? I thought that pseudo science was just an American thing.

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    • JJROKCZ@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Group therapy is pseudo-science?

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    • IHadTwoCows@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      There is no greater fucking idiot than the one who thinks a social gathering for discussion is subject to the rules of double-blind scientific testing. Watching some arrogant fucking shithead attempting to slander 12-stop programs as “not scientific” is hilarious because OF COURSE IT ISN’T SCIENTIFIC!! IT MAKES NO CLAIMS TO BE.

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  • Crackhappy@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    My lord that is absolutely bonkers and I am so sorry for what you had to go through!

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• onoira@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I was diagnosed with anorexia because I was 5 kg ‘underweight’ and answered ‘no’ when asked if I had an eating disorder. Answering ‘no’ was apparently the justification for the diagnosis. It’s still on my file 10 years later, despite now being ‘over-weight’ and always having had nominal blood test results. Conveniently, denying you have anorexia is a symptom, and so is asking to have the diagnosis removed, I guess.

  This has completely blocked me from receiving medication and treatment, because any physical or pyschological ailment I seek help for gets blamed on ‘my anorexia’ and I’m referred to psychotherapy.

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  • FrostMyProstate@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’m in a similar situation with a bipolar diagnosis. I was diagnosed after speaking with a sketchy psychologist for 20 minutes at best. Apparently thinking you don’t have bipolar disorder is a symptom of bipolar disorder.

    Even after working with two other psychologists for well over a year and both diagnosing me with PTSD and that diagnosis perfectly matching my experience, not a single doctor will put that on my medical record. They won’t refer me to appropriate treatment. They won’t change my medication and tell me it works instead of asking.

    I’ve been trying to get this fixed since 2008, but I just get shut down immediately after bringing it up. I’m barely getting by due to very poor mental health and everything just keeps getting worse.

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    • gr0nr@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Have you talked to a medical malpractice lawyer about your original diagnosis? Most will do an initial consult for free and work on contingency. In this rock-paper-scissor world lawyer beats doctor.

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  • intensely_human@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That is so fucked up. I hate the lack of self awareness the medical field has with regard to the impossible situations it puts some patients in.

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  • lseif@sopuli.xyz ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    same with autism (in a social sense not medical).

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  • Twofacetony@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I believe you when you say you’re not anorexic, or ever had anorexia, but as a 43 year old man, who is 185cm tall, my healthy range is 63-86 kilos.

    I am 82 kilos give or take a meal, and if I lost 15 kilos I would be pretty very, very slender, and that would still keep me well in the “healthy” range.

    What I’m saying is the healthy range, to me at least, should be taken with a pinch of salt, and it’s shithouse that diagnosis has vexed you for over ten years.

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• devdad@programming.dev ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I don’t drink

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  • TheBlackLounge@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Congrats, how many years are you sober?

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    • TheBat@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      All my life

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  • cryptiod137@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Oh, so you don’t like it when other drink then?

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    • rikudou@lemmings.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      What the fuck?

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    • devdad@programming.dev ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Haha yeah it’s weird how NOT drinking is weird. I couldn’t care less what other people do, nor what they think of me; drinking is just no longer appealing to me

      No idea why you got downvoted so bad, I guess I did have the benefit of your edit when I read your reply.

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  • jacktherippah@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Whatever helps you sleep at night.

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    • Socsa@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Oh that’s the booze.

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  • SuckMyWang@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Sure buddy what ever you say

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  • Socsa@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Oof ow my kidneys

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• AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “I don’t have time for alcoholism—I’m too busy shooting heroin.”

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  • SuckMyWang@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    At least your not a Morman

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    • squaresinger@feddit.de ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      No, I am only one man, not more men.

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• fubo@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “My psychiatrist prefers to say that I have a ‘substance use disorder’ and cautions that the old ‘alcoholism’ model isn’t very scientific.”

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  • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “I don’t limit myself to just alcohol”

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    • HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Modern problems require modern solutions.

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  • fsr1967@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Seriously! The new model and terminology have been around for a decade or so! Why aren’t more people aware of them yet? throws hands up in frustration

    But, having said that, now deny that you have an alcohol use disorder without sounding like you have an alcohol use disorder😏

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    • JJROKCZ@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Because the new terms been around a decade and we’ve used alcoholism as the term for a century or more, it will take time even if people prefer the new terms.

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• CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “I have literally not had alcoholic beverages even once in my life, how would it be possible to become an alcoholic given that?”

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  • squaresinger@feddit.de ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I am such a hard alcoholic. I really need to keep that stuff as far away as possible. So I literally never had a single alcoholic drink in my life.

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    • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I suppose there’s no way for me to actually know if I’d be particularly susceptible to addiction from it or not, never having tried it

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    • SlopppyEngineer@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I need some alcohol at least once pretty month.

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  • Spaghetti_Hitchens@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Well clearly given your decision, your mother drank with you in the womb and you had fetal alcohol syndrome. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.

    Checkmate, atheists.

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• DaGeek247@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Only acoholics actually need to try to convince others that they aren't alcoholics. Nobody goes up to a person on the street to start aggressively asking if they have a drinking problem.

  Any serious questions about how alcohol is affecting your life will quickly demonstrate whether it is is or isn't a problem, without you ever saying that you don't have a drinking problem.

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  • Entropywins@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Sounds like you have a drinking problem...

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    • HeChomk@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down, no problem!

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    • DaGeek247@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      The last time i got drunk was two months ago. The time before that was back in January.

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• frezik@midwest.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I drink a lot less now that I have easy access to THC.

  This goes for a lot of other bad things, too. “Just to get it out of the way, I am not a child molester”.

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  • Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    To be clear, you’re not a child molestor since you got access to THC right?

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  • ricdeh@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I am not certain whether I can safely upvote or the last part is too weird.

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    • frezik@midwest.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Back on Reddit for /r/bestoflegaladvice, you always knew the post was going somewhere when it started with that exact phrase.

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• habanhero@lemmy.ca ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  It’s because denial is part of being an alcoholic. The same goes with being called a liar.

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  • Alto@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Nuh uh!

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  • TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Except when it’s not. I so much hate this rhetoric. You know what? You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine. That’s why OP’s question is so hard to answer. Because everybody is just parroting this rhetoric.

    And “you are clearly an alcoholic” comments in 3, 2, 1…

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    • habanhero@lemmy.ca ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine.

      I mean that’s exactly the issue lol. You might not be an alcoholic, but if you were there’s a solid chance you’d deny that fact.There is a good reason why parts of the 12 step program involve admitting and recognizing that there is a problem, and it’s not limited to alcohol but substance abuse in general.

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  • fsr1967@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The same goes with being called a liar.

    Every statement I make is a lie.

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    • Socsa@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I am actually incapable of lying

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    • Typhoonigator@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I believe you!

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• GoroAkechi@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  It’s pretty easy, actually. I drink around twice a month. No one could credibly accuse me of alcoholism.

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  • andmonad@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Exactly what am alcoholic would say

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    • NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Notice how they didn’t say how many drinks? I bet its the wildest bender each time, black out drunk, ends up in the drunk tank type situation, so they tell themselves, I need to stop, and they last a week or two and then it happens again, because their an alcoholic

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  • BirdyBoogleBop@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I am glad yiur recovery is going well

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• Apytele@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  [deleted]

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  • RonnieB@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • DeepFriedDresden@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Yeah I'm going to have to agree. I'm an alcoholic myself and this is a problematic way of living with it. Moderation seldom works for alcoholics as it is and by putting your choice to drink on someone else's offerings seems to just be a way to escape any blame should it end in full relapse.

      Everybody's journey is different though so I'm not going to judge. But at no point was I able to stop drinking until I straight stopped drinking. As they say "one drink is too much and a hundred isn't enough."

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  • jak@sopuli.xyz ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Can I try to gently press that a little?

    I would feel awful if I found out I had been enabling someone’s alcoholism, especially if they only allowed it because they trusted me and I offered them drinks. I have ADHD and autism, so I understand making yourself hard and fast rules to avoid having to make your own self control (I’m not saying that’s definitely what you’re doing).

    Could you perhaps try gradually increasing the rules one by one so that in the end there’s basically no scenario in which you drink? I’m talking: a trusted person offers it to you; it’s a weekend; it’s nice weather out; your whole house is clean; you’ve got extra cash; you ate healthy that day; you are already in a good mood; your beloved (hopefully incapable, for this situation) sports team has won; you talked to two relatives that day, etc. I’m not a therapist, but that works for me. The problem is when I mess up- my rules are great for keeping me out of trouble, but they make me spiral if/when I do break them. You might have to figure out a combination of zero tolerance for “mistakes” _and _ allowing yourself to make actual mistakes without spiraling.

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• squaresinger@feddit.de ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I dodged it as a youth, no point starting it now.

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  • Guntrigger@feddit.ch ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I don’t think there’s that sort of age restriction, you can start any time!

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• AnarchistsForDemocracy@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I only drink on weekdays ending with ‘y’

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• LoraxEleven@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  That’s exactly what a fuckin boozer would say, also.

  Although… I’ve been drinking since about October o’clock… so, what the fuck would I know about it, anyways.

  (I say: they can stop anytime you want me to.)

  Cheers!

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  • MrShankles@reddthat.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’ll drink to that?

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• irmoz@reddthat.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Drinking just isn’t my sort of thing

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  • Bgugi@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    One book, “Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby”, by Austin Powers.

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    • irmoz@reddthat.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      No! Really! It’s not mine!

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• TheDoozer@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “I have about three drinks a week and get drunk maybe once or twice a year. I’d say I’m the picture of moderation, but I’m not really concerned with how you feel about my drinking habits.”

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• WorkIsSlow@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I literally just threw up. I feel better now though.

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• Rosco@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I really should reduce my consumption, I’ve always hang around people that tend to get wasted on a weekly basis. Getting tipsy is enjoyable, but more than that is just fucking stupid. I also find it hard to talk about stuff with them, or to do meaningful activities, they just want to drink a lot and act like dumbasses in night clubs. So boring. I should try and find new friends, but I feel like most people act like this, honestly. It’s the same when I hang out with strangers. My hard limit is 3 drinks per night now.

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• jacktherippah@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I honestly don’t really see the appeal of alcohol. Water on top. Where my hydro homies at?

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• JTheDoc@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I haven’t drunk alcohol in over a year, last time I got drunk was maybe almost a decade ago…

  I’m sure that’ll convince someone? Though it makes it sound like I used to be one too lol.

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• bizzle@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “What do you mean? I don’t even drink”

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• Socsa@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “I’ve honestly never really thought about it.” And then “I don’t know, I don’t really keep track of how much I drink.”

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• Persen@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I never drank anythinng alcoholic in my life. Does that sound alcoholic?

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• RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “Fuck you, I can stop whenever I want.”

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• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “I don’t even drink!”

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• Shihab@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Unless you’re a Muslim 👑

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• Wahots@pawb.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I have a drink once a month (or sometimes not for a few months) and it makes me feel exhausted. We do a big party once a year and that’s more than enough for me.

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• iamherexD@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  accurate

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• Nobody@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Let one who is not neurodivergent cast the first stone

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