Open Menu
AllLocalCommunitiesAbout
lotide
AllLocalCommunitiesAbout
Login

They don't keep stats on prostitutes the way they do with football quarterbacks so we'll never know who the GOAT prostitute is

⁨183⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨kali_fornication@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨showerthoughts@lemmy.world⁩

source

Comments

Sort:hotnewtop
  • MantisToboggon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    We all know it’s your mom.

    source
    • d00phy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Slowest pitch in history.

      source
      • MantisToboggon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Not as slow as your moms fatass.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • SirSamuel@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I, too, nominate this person’s mother

      source
    • muntedcrocodile@hilariouschaos.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Beet me to it

      source
      • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        That’s why she’s the best in the business!

        source
      • atro_city@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Red beet?

        source
  • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I would gladly nominate your mother.

    Image

    source
  • baggachipz@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I got with a goat prostitute once, she was baaaaaaaaad

    source
    • siha@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Image

      source
  • makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    There’s a documentary on these 2 Dutch sisters in their 70s who have been in the game for over 100 years between them. So they’re probably up there:

    theguardian.com/…/oldest-prostitutes-amsterdam-70…

    source
    • ChicoSuave@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Ben Franklin died too early.

      source
  • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Well there’s Caroline Lacroix.

    She was a prostitute that caught the eye of King Leopold II, you know, the Belgian Congo guy. He ended up leaving her a pretty large portion of his blood money.

    source
    • LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I think you could also make a strong argument for Zheng Yi Sao, basically seduced a pirate king and took over his fleet and became the most powerful pirate of all time.

      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zheng_Yi_Sao

      source
      • jagermo@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Also, Lola Montez, who nearly brought down the bavarian monarchy.

        Her ability to manipulate the king was so great that the Minister of State, Karl von Abel, was dismissed because he and his entire cabinet had objected to her being granted Bavarian nationality and the title of countess. The students at Munich University were divided in their sympathies, and conflicts arose shortly before the outbreak of the revolutions of 1848, which led the king, at Montez’s insistence, to close the university.

        Also, she is the subject of a great song by Volbeat

        source
        • -> View More Comments
      • njm1314@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Well I mean she’s not a goat at being a prostitute she’s a goat at being a pirate Queen.

        source
      • m4xie@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        I came here to say this

        source
  • Wilco@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Its your mom!

    source
  • wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I read that as “prostates” and was confused but intrigued

    source
    • everett@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Reading this left me prostrate.

      source
  • GottaHaveFaith@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Technically Eve fucked all the men in the world

    source
  • manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Say sex worker instead of prostitute, and also people absolutely do rate and review sex workers, it’s not exactly what you mean, but the review books and websites can trace their roots back to the late 1800s

    source
    • jayambi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I ask myself sometimes: if we use a new word for “something” what does change? …surely there are words that were intended as insults from beginning on. But some words just become insults again if we switch the naming because the concept behind it is an insult rooted in soceiety no?. for example: 1980 “your mother is a whore” ,dont say whore its insulting say prostitute… 2000 “your mother is a prostitute” dont say that… 2026 “yo mama is a sex worker” … no matter how often we name it, the concept is causing it to end up as insult.

      maybe a bad example here but anyways

      source
  • phonics@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    If it’s a business theyre keeping track. Data just isnt public of consolidated.

    source
  • atro_city@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    We all know Trump is the real throatgoat.

    source
    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I thought that was Nancy Reagan

      source
    • ViscloReader@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Nah I don’t think this buffoon is good at anything. Especially sex

      source
      • atro_city@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Didn't he take Bill Clinton's fat cock?

        source
  • Tiger@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    You could measure by how far it got you in life, so by some measures Melania could be considered a winner in that class. (First Lady, 40 million for a documentary, etc) I think she’s deplorable though.

    source
  • TheRealKuni@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I understand that Nancy Reagan was the throat GOAT.

    source
    • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      But did she charge? Guess we’ll never know.

      source
  • lemmylommy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan is Natalya Sagdiyev.

    source
  • GuyFawkes@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    A better question is what stats would you keep if they were kept?

    source
    • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Body count and total Net worth of johns divided by body count.

      source
  • slazer2au@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Because one is subjective the other is not.

    source
    • abbadon420@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      That’s why you keep stats and measure objective metrics. “I think this is the best player” or “I think this is the best whore” are both equally subjective. But one is backed up by statistics, the other is not, but could be and therbt negating the difference.

      source
      • thenoirwolfess@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        And then, if the scoring criteria can be subjective, that can lead to a similar issue with results. Kind of how those ice-skating competitions rely on 3 experts’ opinions rather than the mathematical accuracy of moves or timing accuracy of music synchronisation.

        source
    • Stern@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      We could grade them like gymnasts or figure skaters.

      source
      • crank0271@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        In a certain sense, I think many of us do.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
      • Pat_Riot@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Pretty sure that’s just called pornography.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I am pretty sure that would be the woman that has the world record for having like 1000 dudes cum inside her in under 24 hours.

    source
  • deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Eccentrica Gallumbits is #1.

    source
    • Dadifer@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      How far out do her erogenous zones start?

      source
  • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Gotta be Bonnie Blue she had a 1,000 man gangbang. Her body count is like 2k.

    source
    • Raiderkev@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      And has turned that into probably millions.

      source
  • jimmy90@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    sex worker ~prostitute~

    source