Open Menu
AllLocalCommunitiesAbout
lotide
AllLocalCommunitiesAbout
Login

No brainer

⁨287⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stamets@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d2addad2-90ad-4385-8729-fa0b24dd6f2d.png

source

Comments

Sort:hotnewtop
  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I am pretty sure you can sell gravel soooo

    source
    • absentbird@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      But this gravel is free.

      source
      • simplejack@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        Not when I’m through with it.

        source
  • LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I want to saw free gravel, but I need to know how its manifested. In a big pile where I want it? Or like never ending handfuls of pocket gravel?

    source
  • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    7 inch teleport sounds genuinely useful in a fight. Also, couldn't you just keep teleporting 7 inches? It might still be faster and easier than running.

    On the other hand, infinite gravel...

    source
    • ShouldIHaveFun@sh.itjust.works ⁨46⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Could be useful, but it says nowhere that your clothes will teleport with you.

      source
    • irish_link@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      There was nothing that said you can’t teleport up. Meaning you can go up and over. Almost no effort way of getting our of traffic or cleaning the gutters, fixing things up high. Or ya know essentially low flight. This is all assuming there is no cool down and its like walking.

      source
  • misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Toaster control for sure. After selling my robot toasters as a cheap way to communicate with satellites, I’ll command an army of them all over the solar system.

    source
  • Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Free Gravel?

    This one is clearly the best choice. That shit is expensive!

    Start a gravel business, destroy the competition, and create a gravel empire.

    source
  • brap@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Easy, free gravel. Become a gravel salesman.

    Would be interesting to see how it appears though. Can I get to just point to a spot and suddenly gravel? If so, charge people for the show too. Just rock up to their house, point at the driveway and boom, gravel. Easy money.

    Added bonus: don’t like someone? Boom, house literally full of gravel.

    Gravel.

    source
    • Stamets@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Just says that the gravel is free, not that you can generate it or make it appear

      source
      • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Still a free product. Normally gravel traders have to purchase the gravel, move it and sell it. Now you just have to move and sell it. Massive profits. Transport fees are for the customer too, so basically free as well.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
      • frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Built a greenhouse with a gravel foundation this summer. Doesn’t matter if I have to move it. Free gravel is useful.

        source
    • oplkill@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You will have free grave in north Korea

      source
    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I don’t want to deal with people tho

      source
  • MrFinnbean@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Free gravel! Fuck yeah!

    Living in the rural area and having pretty long private road i would be really happy for free gravel.

    Bonus points if i can desite how coarce it is. During winter the yard gets really icy and small gravel would make it better.

    source
  • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Free gravel is so busted compared to these. Gravel’s one of those things that you don’t need often, but someone in any town on any given day will need some.

    You could undercut every single other gravel business. Even if the competitions lowers their prices dramatically, they can’t go lower than their costs. Meanwhile, you have absolutely no costs on material. Gravel monopoly.

    source
    • shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Bet I could retire in a year, two at the outside. Have customers pick up at deep discount until I could get a pair of heavy trucks and drivers, pure gravy from there on out.

      source
    • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If there are no limits of scale or delivery, i think it’s OP.

      cut me off? I’m gonna follow you at a disance and summon 50 tons of gravel around your car.

      File an HOA complaint on me? You’re going to need a bobcat to find your front door.

      Can i summon it anywhere without going there? You know how hard it is to get rid of gravel?

      source
      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        You’re going to need a bobcat to find your front door.

        I forgot that was a brand of front loaders for a second, and my brain went on a whole trip trying to figure why you’d need a bobcat.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • mushroomman_toad@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Not to mention the transport cost, and the usefulness of gravel as fill material on major building and infrastructure projects.

      source
    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I imagine this working in a monkey’s paw kind of way. First, the local gravel suppliers just keep mis-delivering things to places where you happen to be. Then they start talking and figure out how to get rid of you so you stop costing them so much business. You survive, skip town, only to start again. You get incredibly wealthy from re-selling all this free gravel. Eventually, mountaintops start dissapearing due to all the illegal quarrying going on…

      source
  • untakenusername@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    3 is overpowered, it’s basically FTL if the reload time is low

    source
    • Brutticus@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I was going to say, 3 is my choice. Subtly powerful and useful. Just have to be creative, even if it isn’t actually that much faster

      source
    • 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The reload time is zero, but teleporting N meters away takes N seconds. Oh, and it looks like the transporter effect from Star Trek where you fade out and get all sparkly.

      source
    • lengau@midwest.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’m playing a Pathfinder game where my character has something roughly resembling this ability, and so far it has allowed my party to essentially skip a few fights.

      source
      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        So curious about any funny stories. Like tried to get on the other side of a wall but you’re skinniest character is 7.5 inches at the chest so their scapula gets stuck in some thatched wall so now they look like some kind of hay Angel.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • mechoman444@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah teleporting 7 in if there’s no time like between teleportations is godlike.

      source
  • rockerface@lemmy.cafe ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If there’s no cooldown and no cost on teleport, maximum distance doesn’t really make a difference

    source
    • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It does if trying to go through an 8” thick wall.

      source
      • rmuk@feddit.uk ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Or across an 8" ocean.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Even with a cooldown or something like that, a real world ‘blink’ ability, even of just 7 inches, would be utterly devastating in hand to hand combat, as well as potentially in ranged/armed combat as well.

      Just imagine scenes from John Wick but also, every 30 minutes, he can just ‘blink’ up to 7 inches to dodge or connect a punch, kick, grab, close range shot, move just a bit further into cover, etc.

      Granted, you would also have to be very careful to not uh, Philadelphia Experiment / phase shift into a fucking wall or some other person or something.

      source
      • ulterno@programming.dev ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Forget combat, how many times have you nearly missed slipping and falling while climbing stairs because of imperfect foot placement?
        Well, for when you actually and up being in a bad enough position to slip, you get to save yourself, positioned perfectly for the next stride.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If abusable the look 10 hours younger one could be sick to go along with this.

      source
    • huquad@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      My thoughts exactly. Flying unlocked

      source
    • SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What if you can only teleport with a pill? What happens when you ingest a whole handful? Are you teleposing in different directions simultaneously?

      source
      • Patches@ttrpg.network ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yes but they all cancel each other out leaving you unmoving.

        source
  • lambdabeta@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I feel like everyone is underestimating 5. It’s any toaster. Make a killer robot that happens to have the ability to make toast and you’ve got a remote control death bot.

    I’d make a whole set of devices that happen to also be toasters. Why not add some heating elements and springs to an elevator, a car, a plane?

    source
    • stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah, you could hook up a sensor to detect the toaster coming on and basically control electronics with your mind.

      source
  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Control toasters, duh. I’m gonna survive the AI revolution

    source
  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    1. Sheer horror. You’ll never be able to eat these again.
    2. This has been brought up before. Gravel isn’t cheap. This is basically infinite money.
    3. If used continuously, you’re basically The Flash.
    4. Just a bad idea unless you can put it inside your existing nose for double the sniff-sensitivity.
    5. Okay, that’s just fun.
    6. Again, used continuously, this is the fountain of youth. You’ll still die of old age though.
    7. Only useful under very specific circumstances. Also, define a “container”.
    8. Unless the Khitan civilization knew things we don’t, this isn’t useful at all.
    9. Fast as he is now or when he was alive?
    source
    • phx@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      I’m thinking that #7 might be useful in certain policing or security positions, depending on the definition of empty (there’s always dust and air).

      Got a bunch of containers that need to be inspected? You can cross the ones you can see through off the list.

      Also useful for winning the cup-and-ball game

      source
    • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Sheer horror. You’ll never be able to eat these again.

      I think they’re just going so cold, water please, drowning…kill me…

      source
    • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Again, used continuously, this is the fountain of youth. You’ll still die of old age though.

      How would that work? “Age” isn’t some inherent property of atoms.

      source
      • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        The text just says look 10 hours younger. To me, that means un-doing all the apparent signs of aging: superficial stuff. Less wrinkles, fewer sunspots/freckles, hair is back where it used to be, no more cataracts, etc. Meanwhile, your internal organs, bones, and muscles keep going with the usual aging process.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • WolfLink@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      5 is awesome. My house will be full of toasters hooked up as switches for things.

      source
  • orenj@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Can run as fast as albert einstein, but don’t actually take the pill. Use it only when you or a loved one is immobilized by old age or injury. Nothing to lose, even if its a bogus ‘0mph, he’s dead’ pill.

    source
    • Grass@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I was thinking it would be an excellent choice for my wheelchair bound coworker

      source
      • ulterno@programming.dev ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        If I were to lose my ability to walk, would I choose:

        • ability to maybe walk, maybe like an old man, maybe not
        • ability to teleport along with my stuff, 7" per thought

        On the other hand, maybe I can only teleport once, for when I take the pill. That might end up being pretty useless for this case.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
  • MotoAsh@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Is the 7 inches absolute, or distance apart? As in, could I teleport past a 7 inch thick wall, or just 7 inches from my current position? If I could get through the wall, that miiight be more abusable. Otherwise totally the gravel. Even if it doesn’t magically appear, gravel is useful for all sorts of stuff. Especially if you get to pick what type/grading/etc each load is like with purchased gravel. That’d be really useful.

    source
  • gedaliyah@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Seeing inside empty containers is way more useful than it seems.

    source
    • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      My thought exactly. You know immediately if it’s empty

      source
      • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        That whole Geraldo safe thing could have been avoided

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • 8000gnat@reddthat.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      are clothes considered containers? asking for a friend

      source
      • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yes. Any empty clothes are yours to see inside.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
  • FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You guys are sleeping on 1.

    The secrets of the oysters could be yours.

    source
    • hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yes, but I love oysters.

      Hearing them scream as I scarf a dozen of them? Not opposed, but seems like that’s going to ruin the meal.

      source
      • FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Maybe they’re into vore, you don’t know.

        source
    • huquad@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You want my treasure? You can have it! I left everything I gathered together in one place! Now you just have to find it!

      source
  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Are these one time use? Like you gain the ability to talk to oysters forever? Grow a new nose as many times as you want? Or talk to oysters for 5 minutes and one extra nose?

    1. Become a water quality assessor with instant and accurate data on pollutants, if there are invasive species, whether or not there are pearls present, and any other information oysters can offer about the environment.

    2. Instant paving/gravel business with a huge profit margin compared to competitors.

    3. Depends on the locus of movement. If 7” only, like a quarter step in any direction, kinda useless*. If moving your entire body 7” away from it’s previous location, good for theft I guess if the barrier is less than 7” thick.

    *if you can “spam” the 7” movement rapidfire with no speed limit, you can travel as fast as you can wherever you want in a “stuttering” teleport.

    1. Useful to someone disfigured, lost one to skin cancer or other issue.

    2. Depends on what you limit a toaster to and what constitutes control. If you can control any facet of any device that heats the interior for purposes of heating the contents to a specific temperature, then this is really powerful. Engines “toast” fuel. Kilns “toast” everything from carbon fiber to ceramics to tempering glass. The ability to control the specific heating of any material in an enclosed environment would have wide application.

    3. Spam it.

    4. Catching smugglers? If a container that should be empty isn’t, you can’t see in it.

    5. Get your name in the history books as an expert on the peoples and culture surrounding the language.

    6. If you were a paraplegic this would be life-changing.

    source
    • nieminen@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The gravel one is gonna have some stupid loophole, like it’s one pebble a day, but infinite and free.

      source
    • Mac@mander.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
      1. I don’t think Mr. Einstein is able to run very fast, atm…
      source
  • hperrin@lemmy.ca ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    7 would be really useful for those games where you have to find the ball under the cup. You can instantly tell if you’re being swindled, and always win.

    source
  • gray@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    7 is actually useful? I don’t understand the debate

    source
  • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Toss up between 3 and 7 for me, though the gravel one could have some niche uses.

    TP can be abused pretty easy if there’s no physical impact on my body for doing it repeatedly.

    source
  • sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Teleport 7 inches only because doing so in quick succession could look really funny

    source
  • Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Considering how my driveway gets completely washed away any time it rains, I’m going with #2 no questions asked.

    Don’t even have to read the rest of them, gravel is expensive!

    source
  • bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Running as fast as Albert Einstein would be a considerable improvement.

    source
  • Nariom@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    1. breed oysters > profit
    2. sell gravel
    3. still prob useful if you chain teleport real fast?
    4. why
    5. must be a job somewhere for you
    7. can instantly tell if a container isnt empty, work in customs or something?
    8. doctorate in archeology
    9. albert einstein when? now? yikes, when he was young? depends on your relative age and physical form
    source
  • vane@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    1. Open franchise that sells toast bread. Burn all toasters in the world that are not used in your chain. Raise prices to ridiculous amounts. Build a big toaster rocket. Fly away.
    source
  • CocaineShrimp@sh.itjust.works ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    #7 Can instantly see inside any empty container

    Everyone that watches Love Island and won’t shut up about it are now transparent

    source
  • deacon@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Gotta go with 7 here.

    source
  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’ll take 7 for sure. 2 or 3 depending on how the gravel is delivered and/or if I can chain teleport.

    source
  • helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Can I take all 9 and never have printer troubles again?

    source
-> View More Comments