[deleted]
Just block the sub if it bothers you and wipe your mind free. That’s all there ever was to it.
[deleted]
Submitted 7 months ago by misterdoctor@lemmy.world to [deleted]
Comments
Surp@lemmy.world 7 months ago
AlDente@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
I personally shy away from the idea of binary labels. Whenever you have two opposing extremes, I find hard to believe that someone can be the 100% embodiment of one and 0% of the other. Whether it’s ‘authoritarian/libertarian’, ‘left/right’, ‘straight/gay’, ‘neurotypical/neurodivergent’, or dare I say, ‘male/female’, I see all of these as a spectrum. Whenever binary opposites exist, I believe we all fall somewhere in the middle.
To say that someone is 0% man or 0% woman seems to reinforce the idea that these labels are based on physical characteristics, concrete, and/or absolute. If you believe that personal identity is fluid, and that change is constant, then how can you reckon with the idea of someone being 100% either? It won’t be possible to swing upward passed 100%, so the only other option is down; into the gray area and constantly wavering over time.
As for myself, I might have been born with a penis, but have plenty of characteristics that I would not consider “manly.” I strongly prefer to sit on a toilet to rather than use a urinal, I’ve worn a skirt around my home and fantasized about having breasts and beautiful hair, and my Spotify wrapped from last year classified me as a “pink Pilates princess”. I’m absolutely not presenting these to declare myself a woman, but I suspect each of these admissions would diminish my standing as “man”, especially in a non-anonymous environment.
If anyone was ever unsure about their gender identity, experimenting, or just non-committal to a binary gender assignment, I can see how a having another individual assign this black/white classification on them (and banning them as a consequence) would be incredibly stressful and harmful to their wellbeing. With how gray gender identity can be, it is no surprise if someone in this mindset doesn’t push back with a claim of the opposite binary choice; the sex on their birth certificate. I believe this kind of moderation serves to reinforce conservative societal norms and discourage empathy across the gender spectrum.
Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I pulled a ban commenting before I knew they were in full echo chamber mode. Nothing of value has been lost. The whole thing though begs the question are there men only places on lemmy? So I can block them as well.
misterdoctor@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Nothing of value has been lost.
This is true but probably not how you meant.
Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 7 months ago
No, I’m pretty sure its how I meant it. I responded to some post about how they as woman were under no obligation to be polite if a man made them nervous. I’m under no obligation to make them comfortable if they are rude and hostile for me just existing in the same space as them. I have never harmed a woman and for the most part ignore them. I have no physical desire for anyone and haven’t had any for nearly twenty years. They can hate me for existing but I don’t have to respect them for it. I don’t have to make them feel safe.
TSG_Asmodeus@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Well, aren’t the majority of these replies depressing. Imagine looking at a minority group that tries to make a private corner for themselves and going “yeah but they haven’t heard my take yet!”
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Looks at litterally half the population: “This is a minority”.
zqps@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
On Lemmy?? lmao
Maeve@kbin.earth 7 months ago
I think I remember that post and said you're correct.
Taleya@aussie.zone 7 months ago
The fucking comments on here are insane. It’s not a private comm, and pretty much every comment that’s been deleted for being posted by a male user was because they explicitly stated they were male. As in started off a comment (usually on women’s issues) with “as a guy…”
Go on a linux forum and post “as a windows user…”
Go on PC gamers and post “as a console gamer…”
Would have a problem with being told “this is not for you” then? No, you wouldn’t. You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak. Get over it.
And to those who demand it be taken off all: fucking learn how to curate your own experience. Skip over or block it the same way you would other communities that have nothing for you
MintyAnt@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Ftfy: “Go on Lemmy and post ‘as a windows user…’”
Heheh. Oh and… by the way loads gun what flavor of Linux do you use?
absolutejank@lemmy.world 7 months ago
i genuinely wouldn’t have a problem with windows users on linux forums or console gamers on pc forums. maybe you should get over it.
KombatWombat@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I expect in most online communities if you made a post like “As a windows user, I am looking into linux and have heard that some common apps don’t run well. Is that an issue you all run into much?” or “As a console gamer, I find myself envying some of the mods I see through Steam/Nexus and am thinking about switching platforms. Is it hard to get controllers working well in most games?” or something similar, you would be welcomed by the people there. You just need to be respectful and on-topic.
I imagine that community probably has frustrating behaviors that men do as a common topic. Having men reply about why they would do a particular behavior or the sorts of strategies that could get other men to stop it would be not only acceptable, but valuable. Silencing their voices without cause then does a disservice to not only those users, but to the community as a whole. By not letting men reply, you’d be criticizing a large group of people while also preventing any member of the group from having a chance to defend themselves.
You can try to justify discriminating a place, but it is a high bar to clear, especially on a core part of someone’s identity like gender. It’s akin to preemptively banning someone based on that characteristic. There’s a difference between “this is not for you” and “you are not allowed here”. I can only really think of that much restriction being necessary in a very private community where content can reasonably identify someone or the members are very vulnerable.
IIRC, r/BlackPeopleTwitter had country club threads where only users the mods had verified were black could participate in. So there’s probably a compromise to have restrictions on a post-by-post basis. As it stands, if they’re primarily banning the users that include “as a guy…” in their replies then they are really just selecting against the ones that are being upfront about it. I really don’t want to see another r/FemaleDatingStrategy develop and a big contributor for that toxicity was silencing diverse opinions.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Very well said
ano_ba_to@sopuli.xyz 7 months ago
Reminds me of the dude who came in here complaining about being banned from r/nintendo or something, because he was part of the r/fucknintendo sub. Everyone was supportive of him here. The playstation sub on reddit is dominated by PC masterrace preachers too. That’s a bit annoying to me, but I don’t make the rules.
nekbardrun@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Also similar to why religious (online) comunities will usually deny the talk if “dissents” (also atheist comunities having rules against proselytizing, which do makes sense)
In the end, it sums up to “Don’t be an asshole” rule
Tabula_stercore@lemmy.world 7 months ago
To add the most blatant and widespread version of “as a man”:
“But in the usa…”
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 7 months ago
You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak. Get over it.
Isn’t the goal to move past this behavior when based on immutable qualities rather than merit? The ethical value of a reverse country club model is pretty controversial.
eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
the rule isn’t based on an immutable quality - the community accepts AMAB trans women and nonbinary folks. It’s in line with the goal of the community being to discuss experiences with womanhood - people that don’t identify with any aspect of it aren’t who the community is for.
Usually self-policing is good enough for this kind of thing. as an American, I don’t have much reason to comment in European centered communities, and while I do occasionally see Americans posting there, it’s pretty rare.
That changes when it’s a community of people that are vastly outnumbered by those that have strong feelings about them. take vegan communities for instance. Check the comments of any vegan community post that gets popular, it’s often a shit fest due to the influx of carnivore opinions, and I can understand mods not feeling able to keep up when this happens.
Ideally I think this rule doesn’t exist, ideally this could be like other communities where people recognize their opinion isn’t needed here and move on - but that’s absolutely not going to happen with a women’s community.
You can very easily block it if you don’t like the idea of a community that isn’t for you, but e.g. as an American I do like checking in on European communities to see what’s going on over there. Even if they’re clowning on us. That’s ok.
Jarix@lemmy.world 7 months ago
You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak.
I respect their rules on that community as browsing Everything (Sync) it shows up for me fairly regularly and I haven’t had any issues.
I reject the part I literally quoted.
I care about precision in communication and fighting against entropic decay in his we communicate so I can’t compelled to respond to this quote.
I am a male have no turn to speak there so you are flat out wrong. It will never be my turn, it is inaccurate what you are saying. Please consider reframing what you said, and using literally there makes your error much more egregious, literally
Taleya@aussie.zone 7 months ago
Mate, i’m ASD and saying dial it back.
skisnow@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Go on a linux forum and post “as a windows user…”
Go on PC gamers and post “as a console gamer…”
Would have a problem with being told “this is not for you” then? No, you wouldn’t.
This is a terrible example, because yes absolutely I would indeed consider the mods to be militant over-the-top a-holes if they deleted and blocked all comments from Windows or console users.
zqps@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Consider what the word “majority” means and how that impacts the balance of such discussions. Especially on a platform where people vote on each other’s comments.
In the Linux forum example, the occasional “as a Windows user…” comment isn’t a problem, but it does become one when it makes up 80-90% of comments / visitors. Try to understand how this shapes a community when the fewer directly affected people are annoyed by this and stop contributing.
recklessengagement@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Facts right here. Learn how to let people have their own space. Sometimes a thing isn’t meant for you, and that’s okay.
absolutejank@lemmy.world 7 months ago
this reminds me way too much of the “let women have their own spaces” rhetoric when it comes to cis women wanting to exclude trans women. you can’t expect the people who you are actively excluding from your group not to be a little hurt by it, even if it isn’t something they’d be interested in.
KombatWombat@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Saying “you are not allowed here” is a step up from saying “this isn’t meant for you”
GaMEChld@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Yeah, I concur. When I learned I wasn’t allowed to speak there, I simply blocked it and moved on. They can have whatever rules they want. No one is obligated to be there.
leftthegroup@lemmings.world 7 months ago
I feel based on the name of the community, some rules would be obvious. But a “absolutely nothing from you, male scum” isn’t obvious.
I posted one there yesterday or this morning, haven’t checked on it, but it’s probably deleted now. No harm no foul. It wasn’t meant to break a rule, and they can do what they want. But I would’ve never even known if not for this post.
But I will be blocking the sub now. Both because I’m apparently not welcome, and because I will probably accidentally do it again otherwise.
Taleya@aussie.zone 7 months ago
Eh, irkers can sit down. It’s long been a thing about paying attention to community rules before posting, and if you don’t and violate them, you don’t get to whinge.
AA5B@lemmy.world 7 months ago
BS, we had the same argument on Reddit
- TwoX was militant about no guys
- whatever men’s subreddit was welcoming to women’s reply but wanted them to be honest what gender they were
So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.
As a nerd in many “year of Linux on the desktop” debates, I welcomed constructive opinions from the benighted fools
As a PC gamer I want to game with my buddies so yes I want the opinion of those on consoles
Taleya@aussie.zone 7 months ago
So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.
So you’re ok with a community defining how it wants people outside its demographic to interact with it?
SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Any space that is publicly available is a public space.
That goes for the internet, too.
Segregation does not lead to good things.
If it is bad for incels to form men only spaces that inevitably will lead to their bigoted rhetoric being unchecked and validated, then it is bad for any other group to do that based on sex, gender, or race.
DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 7 months ago
It is public, youre right. That’s why anyone can post to it. The rule is if you admit to not being a woman, you get banned.
sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 7 months ago
I too have made this mistake 😔
burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world 7 months ago
this is a trap
Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
No, this is Patrick!
misterdoctor@lemmy.world 7 months ago
No, no, this is bait
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
It’s like an all you can block misogynists fest! 👐
foggianism@lemmy.world 7 months ago
“What’s in the box!”
Bosht@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I didn’t even get a chance. Post came up, I didn’t check the sub, posted a comment, Admin told me politely to get fucked and banned me.
mathemachristian@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
Based admin helping you out so you dont have to check the sub everytime you want to comment
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I politely asked to get banned.
disagree with the rules, but ain’t my community, I ain’t invited, and I will politely respect it.
imagine walking into someone’s private party, only to complain that I wasn’t invited, and how dare they exclude me!!!
AA5B@lemmy.world 7 months ago
When someone is using the bathroom I expect them to close the door. If they’re letting it all out in public, yes I might walk in
mathemachristian@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
You’re a cocklooker aren’t you bud?
qarbone@lemmy.world 7 months ago
That only really holds if you somehow didn’t know the comm/bathroom was occupied.
Unless you the type of person who’d ignore the rather strong, social signs that the people in both the comm/bathroom don’t want you to join them when they’re in there. In which case…weird.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 7 months ago
if I open my house door to let the breeze in, it isn’t an invitation for you to come in.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 7 months ago
so can we get a community for whites only?
SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 7 months ago
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 7 months ago
here comes the welcome wagon!
Taleya@aussie.zone 7 months ago
Being a man can be anything you want and you chose…this.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 7 months ago
not sure if you noticed. this is a shitpost. so I chose to be a piece of shit.
enjoy that little kernel from my nugget.
Impassionata@lemmy.world 7 months ago
are the last of the woke derangement syndrome sufferers on Lemmy??
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 7 months ago
no, they perforate the bowels of the internet like colorectal cancer and feed off the shitposts that you have found yourself in.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 7 months ago
What a horribly stupid question to ask.
Women and minority only spaces exist because white men as a group have historically discriminated against them, including by having men only and even whites only spaces. That kind of history never goes away really, because bigotry is frequently handed down from generation to generation even if some people are able to break the trend.
Source: am white man who can acknowledge reality without feeling guilty for being part of the group that does those things
loudwhisper@infosec.pub 7 months ago
~white~ men as a group
Unless you are suggesting women have not being discriminated in non-white communities?
cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 7 months ago
I pardon you for respecting the rule o7 (wish some other people would do that too, it happens way to often that people post their kinda shitty opinions in the comments)
gigachad@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 7 months ago
[deleted]mathemachristian@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
We must treat oppressors and oppressed the same all the time in order to be fair. I’m a very smart person.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 7 months ago
We must treat all members of a majority group as oppressors. I am very intelligent.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 7 months ago
You are the kind of person that makes a no men rule necessary.
misterdoctor@lemmy.world 7 months ago
A lot of them found this thread which is fun because that’s exactly who I made it for
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Not a big fan of an attribute you were born with making you ineligible to comment in a community, but their community, their rules.
Impassionata@lemmy.world 7 months ago
[deleted]Feathercrown@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Glad to see ragebaiting is still alive and well
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
I consider myself to be a feminist because my axe bites all flesh equally I will shed the blood of not just the men but the women and children too!
BLOOD FOR THE ALLFATHER! SKULLS FOR YGGDRASIL! KILL KILL KILL!
I have no horse in this race I just want to make references to old memes.
dastanktal@lemmy.ml 7 months ago
They allow trans women. They just want to a space to removed about women things away from men because men tend to say stupid shit when women removed about us.
python@lemmy.world 7 months ago
As I woman, it is finally my turn to say stupid shit
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
That’s good, but being trans is also an attribute you are born with. I get why they do it, and if it works out well for them, I’m not gonna say they’re wrong for doing it. I would just never do it myself.
cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 7 months ago
Well, it happens quite regularly that men make absolute shit comments in the community, so its not that much of a stupid rule. Sometimes people dont have to care about everyone else’s opinions on certain topics.
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 7 months ago
KombatWombat@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Ban the people obfuscating. Don’t assume guilt based on gender.
Being discriminated from a community based on gender is a small injustice, but it is an injustice nonetheless. At the very least, it’s a policy choice worthy of discussion.
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Why are you using a justice frame? Its definitely not the the frame they are using.
misterdoctor@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Men when there is one (1) online community they are requested (politely) to not engage with
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Darth_Lemmy@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
imagine the outcry if there was a male version of this LOL
Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Do the men not know there are male-only support spaces and we’re okay with that?
Darth_Lemmy@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
do people other than men get banned from those spaces?
gift_of_gab@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Reading over these comments brings me back to why I came out as non-binary, and the gender euphoric boost is quite nice.
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 7 months ago
What if I identify as both?
brown567@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Oh crap!
I checked, and I’ve made one comment there (deleted by mods). Sorry XD
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 7 months ago
I’m just here for the bruised male egos. I’m male, and I find the but what do you mean I’m not welcome there comments entertaining.
I’m with you, OP: they shouldn’t have to restrict their visibility to avoid a demographic they don’t want to have in their community. Women should have a space to talk to women only, if they so desire. Those complaining about it need to realize that places where men are not welcome exist in the real world, and yet there aren’t a bunch of dudes protesting to be allowed into a women’s change room at the Rec center.
LucidNightmare@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
Yayyy, echo chambers! :)
Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 months ago
I automatically block communities that put requirements like that on participation. If they don’t want me interacting with it, I don’t want to even see it. I also don’t think it’s appropriate for a public forum. Go make your own private thing somewhere if you want to immediately start off as an echo chamber.
henfredemars@infosec.pub 7 months ago
Yep, blocked this one. No harsh feelings but I don’t think it’s meant to be public. They should be free to do what they want to do with their space. On the other hand, private would hurt discoverability. I sort of understand where they’re coming from.
dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
I’ve been tempted to reply to a a couple posts in support. But am not woman, so upvotes are enough.
Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Kinda hilarious how the most cis dude thing possible is to joke about becoming trans to gain the privileges of a woman.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I’ve just blocked the community entirely, because apparently I’m not a woman based on… idfk.
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 7 months ago
“Men don’t feel as deeply as people like to imagine they do” - an idiot who has apparently never read men acting like absolute fannies literally all over the internet forever.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 7 months ago
This comment perpetuates harmful gender stereotypes
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 months ago
Nice random strawman