Submitted 3 weeks ago by NONE_dc@lemmy.world to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
Well. She’s the Tomb RAIDER, not the Tomb Preserver.
Average br*tish archaeologist tbh
And the asterisk is for what reason, exactly?
Maybe they’re fr*nch
my head canon:
Brih-ish.
British.
Br*tish.
Must be brcuntish, right?
I love when I’m surrounded by treasures in an ancient temple no human has laid eyes on in thousands of years, so I take a look at a scroll then immediately leave.
It’s a good thing those torches are still burning after thousands of years, otherwise you would have needed a flashlight!
That’s the way it should be!
Oh, what’s that in the corner? A random Uzi mag and health pack. Cool.
Put mercenaries on the list. They get hired to guard some excavation. A chill job the recruiter told them.
Lara overhears them talk about going home to their families as she sneaks up and brutally murders them with her ice axe one by one until the ruins are flooded with blood. It’s all self defense.
Damn you’re right! Is like that recurring joke in the Austin Powers Movies.
Original Lara was a Tomb Raider.
New Lara is a fucking psychopathic Rambo with daddy issues.
Well I mean she’s British and rich, what do you expect?
In case ya’ll don’t know about Heinrich Slchliemann…
smithsonianmag.com/…/the-many-myths-of-the-man-wh…
Now you do.
He fucking dynamited what quite likely is the actual location of ancient Troy…in the early days, the field of archaelogy had a number of basically wealthy idiot assholes who fancied themselves as ‘great men’, who went around doing nonsense like this, and of course just actually stealing the artefacts and taking them back to museums in their home countries.
Schliemann obliterated the potential Troy site so thoroughly that archaeologists spent over 100 years looking at other potential sites… only to largely (not entirely, but largely) come to the conclusion that Schiemann’s Troy site probably is the actual correct site…
… But he fucking blew it up.
A historical example of an idiot with too much money and unwarranted self confidence.
The game is literally called “Tomb Raider”. What did you think raiding meant?
Are there any games that accurately depict the activities of any kind of scientist?
I’m not sure there’s a market for a “Pipette Cry Repeat” based video game.
Kerbal Space Program
That’s engineering, not science. There is no science gameplay, you just have science points that you spend.
Seems more like engineers than scientists (strictly speaking).
I dont think scientist simulator would be a very popular game. Its be mostly trying cope with the mental anguish of rejection over papers and grants being published.
There’s a mini game in Spider-Man where you have to match up absorption lines to identify chemicals. That’s relatively realistic.
Half-Life
Theoretical physicists FTW
Surgeon Simulator! It’s a the best training program for today’s surgeon in a rush
I guess there was Foldit 😅
Heaven’s Vault.
Chants of Senaar?
Beyond Blue
In the latest game she triggers a massive flood that destroys an entire village, possibly killing hundreds of people, IN THE TUTORIAL STAGE!
To be fair, the odds of removing a dagger from a pedestal doing that are extremely low, even in the survivor trilogy.
Oh boy, crimes against humanity must be added to the list.
Indiana Jones actually claims to be an archeologist, he would be a better target.
Same with Indiana Jones. Maybe he’s slightly less terrible about it than Lara Croft, but the fact that he cares only about that golden idol and not about the entire temple complex around it with apparently still active traps, makes him a terrible archaeologist.
They’re both very effective adventurers and tomb robbers, though. And at least Lara Croft doesn’t pretend to be any better than that.
Also: “It belongs to a museum”
Which museum, indie? I guess you are talking about the museum of the country where the artifact is from, right? RIGHT?!
Of course not. That big government warehouse with all the boxes. I’m sure “museum” is a nickname they use for it.
To be fair, even some of the other characters in the games/movies recognize this and call her out for it.
Tomb Raider is basically a female Indiana Jones.
And Nathan Drake is male Lara, which is kinda funny to think about.
I can assure you that I have enjoyed the games from end to end. That doesn’t change the fact that Lara would be a criminal wanted by interpol for destruction and theft of cultural patrimony.
Yes and Geordi and Scotty are terrible engineers. Jake Peralta is a bad detective. Leslie Knope is a bad civil servant.
I’d put $100 on the table to say there is a least one more archeologist in the world because of those games. One who was trained to do it right, and preserved a ton of valuable cultural artifacts. Inspired by games and media.
Also, let people enjoy things.
But the 99 keeps telling me how great he is!
I wonder what it would look like to try and resolve some of these problems in a way that still provides a satisfying platformer experience.
Like, what if instead of these ruins being a bunch of traps with some key magical artifact that she heavily disturbs while passing through, what if the game was a platformer where you had to essentially erect scaffolding and lay down tarps in advance of a bunch of the rest of a team? And the goal is to basically use climbing and athleticism to navigate the environment without disturbing an incredibly fragile environment?
That sounds like a dope game idea.
Thanks, I think so too.
I’m trying to expand on it a bit, because I think what’s still missing is a sense of stakes and grandeur.
What if the backdrop is that Croft (or similar protagonist) is working with a team that is uncovering new and valuable discoveries that reveal the art and culture of ancient people that were largely absent from history. It’s showing that some earlier group had settled an ancient valley prior to the arrival of a group that is culturally significant to a current regime. And as they’re making these discoveries, it’s becoming increasingly contentious politically among some faschy nationalist government (a la Orban, Erdogan, etc.)
Over time, they begin to face mounting pressure to secure the sites quickly before a rival team is sent in specifically with the goal of damaging them and stealing artifacts so that these finds aren’t able to be studied. And the protagonist, as the first person who the team relies on to safely document and preserve the site, is soon persued by a goon squad, allowing us some urban platforming levels as you work towards a final confrontation.
tomb RAIDER
Oh yeah, scientists hate those things!
laughs in Samus Aran
So when the first of the new remakes was coming out, they had a special outfit you could unlock if you preordered that was more like the original short-shorts and tank top outfit with the ad for it being like
“What would YOU wear in the jungle?”
And I was like… Gimme the outfit that covers her up. There are bugs and toxic plants and it’s sunny and shit… She needs protection, not traipsing around practically naked!
Schlieman moment
but boobs
Is this a job posting from the British Empire days?
slazer2au@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
At least her name is on point with Tomb Raider.
NONE_dc@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Congruent, at last.
Carvex@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Lara Croft, Tomb Coddler
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
cough
not the only thing that’s on point
quickly eyes the monoboob, then looks away