Submitted 2 weeks ago by laugh_out_loud@reddthat.com to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Don’t be subtle. Be direct and frank. “Dad, I don’t want to hear you having sex with your new girlfriend and I shouldn’t have to put up with it twice a day. Either be quiet or do it when I’m not home.” Throw in some imitations of him or her. He should be mortified enough to behave. Better yet, tell it to both of them face to face. That way there can be no confusion between all parties.
Grow up and move out? It’s his mother fucking house.
You’re downvoted to hell but I mean, it’s true. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
How old is OP? This is a pretty shitty suggestion if they are 12
OP should definitely enforce boundaries, but this sounds like a fetish, which is fucked up, especially for the dad. If you’re an adult, you know your child is in the next room, and you’re banging at “max volume”, you’re wanting to be heard. 🤮
Stay respectfully, forget subtly. Say it like it is.
Agreed. I wouldn’t interrupt their fun, but I’d mention it to my dad some time when the girlfriend wasn’t around. I’d send an email or text if I felt too embarrassed/shy to say anything face-to-face. “Hey, Dad. Just FYI the walls are really thin in this apartment and I can hear what you two get up to.”
I’d also look into earplugs. Earplugs + bone conductive headphones could be a good work around. I’m a fan of Shokz, but other brands exist.
In fact asking dad to buy new headphones could be a way to transition into that conversation.
“Hey, dad, will you buy me these?”
“Um…why?”
“11 and 6 dad. I need them for 11 and 6. Y’all ain’t subtle.”
Yeah, if they don’t care or realise that they’re shagging to loud, they aren’t going to realise if they’re told subtlety.
Clap and say bravo at the end of it.
This will send a message.
“Encore!” 👏
Play some Gilbert Godfrey comedy albums while they are going at it. His voice should kill the mood.
Maybe that’s their thing and they’ll go harder. Don’t underestimate the Godfrey.
Play the song “Mama’s got a squeeze box” real loud. Over and over again.
If he does not work, try Kinison, or Bobcat. If those do not work, GWAR has some choice songs that may.
Or maybe just play a laugh track right after they finished?
I REMEMBAH WHEN THE WORST THING YA HADTA WARRY ABOUT, WAS HIJACKED AIRPLANES, FLYING INTO BUILDINGS
oh gilbert, we’re going to get in to trouble for that.
Get an airhorn and when they get super loud give it a few blasts and scream “gooooooooaaaal!” At the top of your lungs. Max volume. Do it each time they get loud. If they ask you what you’re doing say you’re watching Euro footie.
Genuinely I think the right answer is to have something really loud and off-putting for them (especially her) and an air horn perfectly fits the bill.
The loud part of the 1812 Overture as soon as he’s finishing.
Just ask him to keep it down? “Dude I’m pumped for you and all, but I’d really appreciate it if you guys could kick it down a notch”
Do you know if your dad has been snipped? If not, you had better move out if you are able to. Because otherwise you will end up being free child care in about a year …
Put some Dio on loud speakers and place them next to the shared wall
Fuck that, put cbat on
But then they’ll just start fucking to that rhythm, everyone knows it’s the best song to fuck to
When dad’s going down on her:
HOLY DIVER!
You’ve been down too long in the midnight sea Oh what’s becomin’ of me No, no, ride the tiger You can see his stripes but you know he’s clean Oh don’t you see what I mean
HOLY DIVER!
There will never be another quite like Ronnie James Dio.
Just ask him what he’s doing when she makes those noises, because you want to try it out on your girlfriend (or have your boyfriend do it to you, either/or, I ain’t gonna judge).
Either 'I can hear you fuck, keep it down.' or 'JFYI the walls are thin.'
Record it and play it back at dinner.
Start coughing loudly and see if they’re sharp enough to infer what that means (if they can hear you, you can hear them).
If you look at this situation from an older mindset, i am above thirty, you would definitely tell them in a very direct and short conversation. Maybe even be playful about making them feel guilty, that’s what most people with more life experience would do.
Play hentai on speakers 😉
Tell them to play again show with very high volume in the background.
Make him buy you a great pair of noise canceling headphones. You can get awesome headphones for like sub $300. That’s well worth it to him I’m sure. And you of course. Win/win here.
Tell him straight up it’s affecting your sleep patterns and you need the things above to get past it.
Offer the girlfriend’s friends as sacrifice and get yours at the same time.
I’ve been in a similar situation. As another user already said, you should be direct about it. Pick a good time (when they are not doing it) and simply explain that they are loud and ask them to be more quiet.
If you still want to be subtle, maybe try knocking/hitting the wall between your rooms, this will probably be noticed if it’s night, and they could realise that they’re bothering you.
When you know they’re in there, but it’s not 11pm or 6am, call up someone on the phone, or cough, or hum to yourself. Just make mid level noises. The point is to get them to realize that if they can hear you, then you can hear them.
Turn your radio or TV up. They will get the message that if they can hear you you can hear them.
Depends on your age and whose house it is.
Why be subtle? Just shout “jfc I can hear everything”
Omg I’m so sorry. It’s bad enough when it’s a roommate or the methed out neighbor I used to live by, I couldn’t even imagine that situation
Just tell him respectfully, sometime.
As a parent, myself:
This feels like malicious compliance to me. If I was your kid, I’d be pissed if you felt entitled to attempting to assert dominance like this.
This is how your kids start resenting you as they grow up. Consider treating them like they’re a part of a family unit that respects boundaries instead of shoving a material possession their way to shut them up. Growing up feeling like an inconvenient burden fucks up a lot of kids in this world.
who’s house is it? and should 2 consenting adults adapt how they have sex so that others don’t feel like their “boundaries” have been disrespected?
your answer seems like very much entitled. It gives the vibe that everyone should adapt to your wishes, and not the other way around.
OP should talk to them about it. but like everything in life, if they don’t like their answer, they may need to choose how to deal with it, instead of expecting things to change.
Uh… So no gift. Got it.
I am still going to continue having (probably still loud) sex in the house. Unless my kids fully paying a roommate’s share of the costs to run the home, they’re still kids, not roommates.
with your mentality, who cares about roommates even. they should join or find a quiet place right?
Loudly cheer them on and clap when they finish.
They absolutely know they can be heard. You just have to tell him that it isn’t cool and that you don’t want to hear it.
Start your own sex right before theirs but do it way louder. If they still go at it, call CPS.
Drown it own by blaring porn.
Just cough when they finish. If they can hear you cough, bells will ring.
Buy ear plugs.
fakeplastic@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
athairmor@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Make it dad’s ex-wife to really get to him.
Yermaw@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
The oedipus offensive
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
How do you know he’s divorced and not widowed
MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
This is the way.
YaDownWitCPP@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I don’t see another solution.
al_Kaholic@lemmynsfw.com 2 weeks ago
Have loud sex with dad make girlfriend sleep in your bed?
NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
And dont forget to make eye contact with him to assert dominance.
sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
A true power move.