Submitted 1 week ago by entity@reddthat.com to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
If your asking, you probably already know the answer.
Maybe you could have said something like “A top player needs to know math, because they’ve got to do a lot of investing. they should have otehr languages, because they’ll be playing all over the world. Science and computers because…”
Don’t tell him that he can’t do something. Let him figure it out on his own.
Sometimes you need an honest feedback, and your family should be the first one to hear. It doesn’t mean they are right, but it may save you some time.
You should support your kid, even if you’re not convinced of his chances of making it. Anything else is just going to permanently damage your relationship. The best you can do is make sure he has a plan B. If he’s good in school he’s well on his way to that, so not much to worry about.
Let him try to aim for it… As long as he doesn’t neglect his education and other opportunities them there’s no harm in giving him some years to figure this out himself the hard way.
Yes, you’re gatekeeping his dream
Roy Kent here.
He’s here, he’s there, he’s every-fucking-where, Roy Kent!
You’re literally a professional and your first thought isn’t to use your own skills to coach him to get better?
Who said I haven’t?
Well you didn’t say either way in your initial post. How are people who read it supposed to just know you’ve already nurtured it? It doesn’t come off that way from the way it’s written, just so you know.
Being objective and realistic = Not believing in him Why can’t you be objective and realistic about your childs feelings, obviously, even if you are right and he’s no good (which I doubt if you are saying it), you could have just made the statistical argument, “Son, while football is your dream, the chances of being sustained by it are small and you need a reliable way to survive in the world.” Anything other than telling him YOU dont think HE can do it, and if you can’t accept that, then you need to put aside your ego and seek professional expertise.
I don’t think it needs to be said. He will figure it out on his own that he isn’t good enough to make it.
He will either find the drive to make the success or determine it isn’t worth it, or that it isn’t obtainable. That is just part of growing up and getting older. It’s a life experience in itself.
But to put it to bluntly at such a young age just isn’t necessary. It’s kind of dickish if you ask me. Ultimately he’s enjoying himself and having fun. Organically he will get over it and grow up. No need to do it for him and spoil the fun.
Perhaps not necessarily wrong, but people sometimes don’t like hearing the truth. I don’t agree with the other comments that you should support him - to me, that sounds like bad parenting to not at minimum set up a backup plan when things start to fall apart.
My take on this situation is that you may have to tell him in a more subtle manner. Fortunately, professional athletes are known for being notoriously competitive, where even talented people can lose out on an opportunity simply out of bad luck. This could give you a way to voice your concerns in a way that doesn’t directly imply that he’s not cut out for the job, ie “you still need to be very lucky to go pro. I was very fortunate, but we shouldn’t be counting on luck for your living. You can still try for it, but I really think you should also have some backup options if things don’t work out”
Is it possible to be a pro footballer without being mega famous? How did a footballer end up on lemmy?
They have something like 5 tiers of professional football in the UK. There are a lot of pros and they don’t make a lot of money.
People like to spew their opinions on the Internet, and celebrities are - shhh, dont tell anyone - are literally people.
You are not a jerk IMO! But I believe you should have done it somehow different, like tell him to try other things in case football career does not work out for him, or to always think about another career. and of course what others already said.
Maybe if he had someone coach him decently while he was growing up
He’ll either come to realize the truth on his own, or prove you wrong. Either way, you should support him.
Perhaps an unpopular opinion: no, you’re not a jerk for doing this. Steering our children onto a realistic path of reasonable success and happiness is part of our job as parents. We should pursue this gently, but it mustn’t be avoided. Parenting is hard. We won’t always get it right.
Depends where you live. In America? Yes you’re a jerk because you are questioning the American “dream”. Anywhere else? As long as you explain why and support your kid in whatever choice he/she makes you’re fine.
Tell him he can go pro if he wins against some pros
Yes you are & a big one
RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 1 week ago
You have make the call about your opinion of his talent. We can’t know.
If you are looking to ascribe a pejorative term to your behavior the consider this.
If you are wrong you may a dumbass, but since you are doing your best to help the kid, you are certainly not a jerk.