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Patch this Bish!

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Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨fossilesque@mander.xyz⁩ to ⁨science_memes@mander.xyz⁩

https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/d0710e9f-452e-4e0f-9f0a-752e4bcf8df2.jpeg

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Comments

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  • Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who has nightmares of slipping on ice and falling down stairs when I sleep. The kicks I do are annoying.

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  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’d like to reengineer the mosquito to draw blood samples, identify viruses, then create and spread vaccinations.

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  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Could we also do something about the dark triad traits?

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  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I would absolutely go for 6 fingers. Preferably an additional thumb. Not to mention an additional joint in each. Let’s go base 12!

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    • gari_9812@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      6 fingers feature already in development, available to some users in PTR

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  • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    • remove redundant form of hemoglobin

    Ah yes let’s make the entire system vulnerable so a single attack vector can shutdown every node.

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  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    But feeling like I’m falling when I’m going to sleep is the only time I really feel alive…

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  • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Also please reroute the food pipe to not use the air pipe

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  • bluewing@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I think “Patch this Bish” is kind of how we got to this point.

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  • Zacryon@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    • regrow hair cells to mitigate hearing loss
    • (optional) eternal life and youth
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    • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      These days it ain’t looking like a bunch of us ought to live forever.

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  • Furbag@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!

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    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      How do you picture it? Like a spider monkey, a fox, or like on of those hippopotamus’s who helicopters chops their shit everywhere?

      One sounds useful, one sounds cute, one sounds like your asserting dominance of unexpecting persons waiting in queue

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  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Mosquitos are not humanity though.

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  • KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    How can one fix mosquitos in humans?

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    • Sonor@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      just slap them on the humans

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  • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    When are the rest of you going to get the magenta receptor update?

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  • T156@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Humans do bioluminisce, it’s just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.

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    • Zerush@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      A lot of Bioluminiscence, but Infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can’t see without special devices.

      Structural weakness not only in the lower back, but also in the knees. The human being still has many reminists of an quadruped, as one of the younger species. He still has a way to be optimized as bipedo. Lower back and knees are still not optimized for this, apart of some other static and organic problems. We are still in phase beta.

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      • T156@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        A lot of Bioluminiscence, but Infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can’t see without special devices.

        It’s different from the blackbody radiation that body heat produces.

        Structural weakness not only in the lower back, but also in the knees. The human being still has many reminists of an quadruped, as one of the younger species. He still has a way to be optimized as bipedo. Lower back and knees are still not optimized for this, apart of some other static and organic problems. We are still in phase beta.

        Evolution doesn’t follow the rules of intelligent design anyhow. If they did, we would all be crabs.

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    • Zacryon@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      TIL
      Thanks for the link! This is really awesome.

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Thank you, I came here to say the same thing. The problem isn’t that we don’t glow, it’s the fact that our eyes suck.

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      • CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Don’t we have some of the best eyes in the entire animal kingdom except for birds?

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      • cows_are_underrated@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Also you are a flying squid and not a glowing squid, so its no wonder that we/you don’t glow.

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  • TDCN@feddit.dk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Can we also fix the depression glitch where happiness points aren’t collected and your brain energy bar depleats completely with no way of regeneration without hacking the brain with 3rd party tool antidepressants.

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    • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      They just need to eliminate diminishing returns that they introduced back in the beta.

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    • UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Exercice helps but 3rd party tool are often still needed.

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  • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    • Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
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    • Hoimo@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Would that fix our carbonmonoxide weakness?

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      • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        It wouldn’t make carbon monoxide less poisonous to us, but depending on how sensitive the sensation of suffocation is made it would help us realize something is wrong and maybe even eliminate the need for carbon monoxide detectors.

        Carbon monoxide isn’t only dangerous because it’s not oxygen, but because it disrupts our blood’s normal process of absorbing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide. My laymen understanding is that it sort of jams the door lol. As opposed to things like nitrogen which merely gets in the way but don’t disrupt the process.

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  • Meowstermind@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there’s much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it’s just not it.

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    • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The engineer solution: back to egg laying, which also fixes menstruation

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    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Agreed, that shits rough on people. Impacts of teeth and post partem. Yet a funny thing there is that we can tell you down to the day you were impregnated by the growth of the fetus.

      Next person. Sir drink this stuff to make you shit your brains out and I’m going to shove my finger in your ass to see if we can get a scope of what your insides are like.

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    • caseyweederman@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.

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  • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Three Panel Soul.

    Image

    Image

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    • caseyweederman@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      3PS is amazing.

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  • nthavoc@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’d like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.

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    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Maybe just not fall out. Let’s just add a user creetion set-up like a video game. Choose sex, height, weight, legs arms blah blah blah.

      Some people would spend 3 hours every morning changing their look, others would always look the same. Some people would be swapping mid activities.

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  • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Am I weird in that I actually like the hypnic jerk feeling? It doesnt happen often to me, maybe once every few months. I also like bedspins, used to get them every night as a child/teen. though they rarely happen anymore. It was like my own personal rollercoaster ride!

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  • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You say that now but wait till you’re sleeping in a tree (to escape the dinosaurs) and start to fall and there’s nothing to wake you! Then you’ll be sorry you wished away that “glitch!”

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  • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Add new receptors to be able to feel wetness.
    This is it cold or wet thing we have going on is just crappy design.

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  • aaa@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    photosynthesis?

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    • samus12345@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      We require too much power for it to suffice alone, but it would be nice to have as a hybrid source of energy!

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      • I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Old Man’s War by Scalzi

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      • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        It’d be nice to have one big leaf on my back that I could use for shade and a snack. Doubles as an umbrella for rain.

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      • kapitol@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        What about symbiosis with algae

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      • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Someone did the math for photosynthetic cows and they would only get about 1% of their energy requirement. It’s not viable.

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  • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I remember a college conversation with a bio major when I said I wished we could just eliminate mosquitos. She said if there were no mosquitoes it would be disastrous because some other thing eats them that gets eaten by some other thing, I don’t remember the details, but essentially it would destroy the whole food chain. I couldn’t help thinking that these bugs etc. would probably eat something else because you know, they would be hungry. Just two students with a little knowledge thinking they could conclusively analyze the world. And new here’s social media.

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  • ClathrateG@hexbear.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    www.theguardian.com/…/human-bioluminescence

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  • Railcar8095@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Overly sarcastic productions is one of my favorite YouTube channels.

    Give it a go!

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  • WrenFeathers@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’d like someone to at least look into the whole ADHD thing. It’s been going on for some time now without any word on why it’s there, or what it’s for- and aside from funny memes, it’s yet to provide any positive results.

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    • Aqarius@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Or, like, at least a caffeine gland or something.

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    • mdd@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’d like to add depression and anxiety to fixing ADHD as an individual can exhibit all three.

      This can be split into several patches if necessary.

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      • WrenFeathers@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Absolutely! I just figured that for many, addressing the one will help the others, but yeah… they are their own bugs unto themselves for a lot of people.

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  • Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Saltwater consumption when???

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    • fnrir@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      It’ll be fixed when we starting storing element counts as 64-bit integers (instead of 32-bit).

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      • lars@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Oh the old 2038 problem. Got it.

        But we need something v2.0 times as good as that, so like v4072.00 if my calculations are correct.

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    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I think that’s just kidney 2.0 right?

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  • arsCynic@beehaw.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Tomāto, tomäto. Mosquito, muskuito.

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    • I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Mosquito, Moscato

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  • callyral@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Well, we do glow in infrared…

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