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Just say the word

⁨727⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ickplant@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/03c22f5c-e81f-4efc-a130-4f486d9120d6.jpeg

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  • KoboldCoterie@pawb.social ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Not wanting to be a stay-at-home dad feels like such a boomer mentality. Like, seriously, what father is so disengaged from their kids that they wouldn’t want to spend more time with them, given the option? Being a stay-at-home parent is a lot of work, no one’s contesting that, but there’s no contesting that it’s more satisfying work than working for some megacorp’s bottom line.

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    • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      what father is so disengaged from their kids that they wouldn’t want to spend more time with them, given the option?

      Boomers, you said it yourself. Being a stay at home dad was unheard of and seen as emasculating. So silly.

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      • KoboldCoterie@pawb.social ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yeah, it has the same energy as the endless jokes about men hating their wives.

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      • anomnom@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        My boomer dad was a sort of stay at home dad in the off season for his construction work. (Temperature dependent waterproofing).

        We got to spend winters wood working, skiing (he was an instructor and coach to allow us to afford it) and just being around to have fun with.

        He died too young to meet my son, but I’ve been basically working from home in a similar way as much as possible and just got home from the mountain where I work to get us free passes and lessons.

        Painting all boomers as misogynists is understandable, as many were, probably after being brought up by the war babies and silent ge. But many weren’t like that, had hippie roots and never succumbed to the yuppie greed that many did in the 80s.

        The housing crisis unlocked that in me, and I’ve never worked steady jobs since then. I was lucky enough to be part of what’s now called a lifestyle startup (prioritizing comfortable life work, instead of grinding growth), but we made it 10 years before our market vanished with COVID. But I wouldn’t change much, except getting better dental coverage and moving to a country with universal healthcare.

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    • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      To be fair, some people aren’t great at being a homemaker–it’s a particular passion and skill set and it’s not for everyone. But blindly drawing that distinction on gender lines is definitely a boomer thing.

      Had an older guy at work who had four kids, and when it came up in conversation, he proudly noted that he had never changed a diaper. Told him that I’d be mortified to admit I was such a useless dad.

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      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I wasn’t great at it, until I learned how to do it. It’s not hard. YouTube helps.

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    • Seleni@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You’d think so, but they’ve done studies and there tends to be more marital issues in families where the woman makes more of, or all of, the money.

      Personally I agree that it shouldn’t be defined along gender lines. We don’t have kids, but my husband is way better with them than I am. It would make much more sense (if we could afford it) for me to work and him to stay home. But it seems that, society-wise, we have a long way to go.

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    • doctordevice@lemmy.ca ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’m sitting here cuddling with my infant son and I never want to go back to work. I’ll have to (so will my wife), and I hate that for both of us. But I definitely don’t want to.

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      • Botzo@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I can empathize. I went back to work a month ago now. It was/is hard to be unavailable.

        Luckily, I work from home in a fairly independent role and my wife is still on leave, so we’re still largely co-parenting. We could afford to have me stay at home, but we’re saying that the extra I make above the truly wild cost of daycare will go to his education, financial security, and cultural enrichment.

        We’re also telling ourselves that daycare will be a positive/important social experience for him because we have a small friend group locally and family is halfway across the US.

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    • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Tbh, I don’t want to be any kind of dad.

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      • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Daddy! At long last, I’ve finally found you!!

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      • yakko@feddit.uk ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        That’s a core experience of being a dad. Kids are a pain in the fucking arse sometimes.

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    • Eq0@literature.cafe ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Counterpoint: I took some months off work when my first one was born. And I hated it. I felt that all my value was as “baby-sustaining-machine”, the highest mental skill requested any given day was loading a laundry load and it was very socially isolating (not many people available during working hours for socializing). At the same time, it was stressful being constantly the only one in charge. I was relieved to drop them at daycare and get back to work.

      Now that they are of early school age, I enjoy spending time with them, but I also find it taxing. I know I wouldn’t be a good parent if I were to do it 24/7. But I am glad to spend every non-school moments together.

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      • KoboldCoterie@pawb.social ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I am firmly of the opinion that babies suck, but kids - once they reach the age that they can engage with you at some minimal level - are great, and the older they get, the more fun they are.

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    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah, I turn down invitations to go out after my nighttime board meetings if it means I get home in time to put my kids to bed. I take them to school in the morning and pick them up just about every day. Sometimes they get on every single one of my nerves, but I love being home with them, playing with them, making dinners that they complain about and it makes my blood boil. It’s all part of the package. The whole idea of the silent workaholic dad is just crazy to me. I want to be the one who takes them to the park.

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    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I literally dream of this.

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    • PlaidBaron@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I have a hard time with this. I’m a teacher, love my job, and genuinely think its important. But I hate that I have to spend so much time away from my kids and even when Im home I end up spending hours planning, grading, etc.

      Just kinda sucks.

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    • socsa@piefed.social ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I mean I hate kids but I like money. $12M is honestly about $11.7M past that inflection point though.

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  • anon_8675309@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I would do it for a lot less than that.

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  • dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Ain’t no way anyone makin 12 million a year settling for me 🤣

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    • sage_kase@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      😅🤣

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  • CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    $12 million a year? In two years time we’re retired and the kids are set for life.

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  • Nioxic@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I would

    Then hire a cleaner

    A chef

    A gardener

    A housemaid

    And just chill with my kids

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    • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Word. Spending time with them is the real prize.

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    • Jumbie@lemmy.zip ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Just hire a nanny too and go get milk from the store.

      Damned amateur.

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      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        why would I get milk from the store when the nanny can just milk me instead?

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    • flowers_galore2@lemmynsfw.com ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’d get a more ergonomic vacuum cleaner though.

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    • socsa@piefed.social ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I would do this and develop a drinking problem.

      Like, a bigger drinking problem.

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  • JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Dude I’d be a stay at home dad if my wife was making 70k a year

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    • PixelatedSaturn@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah! I’m even encouraging my wife to put herself out there more and ask for promotions.

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  • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    We’re both stay-at-home, without kids, but still not making 12m/yr.

    Also what an oddly specific sum…🤔

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  • dumples@piefed.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I am on paternity leave now and I love it. If my wife was making 12 million I would never go back.

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  • theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    No because of gender roles i will demand she quits this high paying job and stay at home and we both live off my minimum wage. /s

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  • sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That is not a 12-million dollar earners’ kitchen

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    • queermunist@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Naw that’s just rent in LA.

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      • sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Right I forgot this was 2026

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    • CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You don’t stay rich, by spending it all.

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  • josephc@lemmy.ml ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Do I have to wear the lace all the time? I don’t look good in lace.

    And honestly probably not; not because I have any objections to her being the breadwinner or have any weird ideas about who raises kids, but mostly because I’m not sure I could do it. I’d be a pretty shit father.

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  • AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    How do people feel about stay at home spouses without kids? Is that something that is generally frowned upon?

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    • AlecSadler@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      People feel weird about it, but it’s perfectly fine.

      My wife doesn’t work a paying job, we don’t have kids, but in almost every conversation when I’m meeting someone when they ask what my wife does and I tell them, they always follow it up with like, “Oh does she work from home?” or “Oh, does she sell stuff online?”

      It often breaks their brain that she doesn’t work a paid job.

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      • NocturnalEngineer@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        But surely she does something, right? I’d love the opportunity to no longer work & still be comfortable, but at the same time I know I’ll get bored. I like working, I just hate that capitalism forces me.

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    • Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Great job if you can get it!

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  • belastend@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Bro, I’d do that if my partner made one twentieth of this kinda money.

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  • brown567@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’d do it if my wife made only another $20k

    As it stands, though, money is tight and my field of study pays better

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  • S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You can totally tell from the pic he never user a vac cleaner and or cooked in his frighing life…

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  • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Depends. What’s she doing to make that kind of money? A divorce might be more likely. And no - this isn’t (just) about sex.

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    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      She won the lottery and took the annuity.

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      • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        The lottery is a regressive tax, so still screwing people. But I guess at least it’s by their choice.

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  • OldChicoAle@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If I was a working parent with a stay-at-home spouse, I would felt guilty AF for not having more time for family. It would hurt to leave every single day and having to work overtime would make it all worse. I would feel that I’m abandoning my spouse to raise our human spawn alone. I would get to go to work and escape the problems of raising kids and taking care of the home. I get to hang with other adults, maintain friendships, etc.

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    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’ve taken less work than I could, making less money (still fortunate to make what I make), because I get to see my kids more. Kids are also a huge pain in the ass sometimes, and so I won’t leave my wife with more of a burden than I have myself. We’re a team, and we’re a family. When they get older and more independent, maybe I’ll put the hammer down and make more money, but right now I have the perfect balance and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

      Unfortunately, probably gonna have to go bash Nazis eventually.

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      • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Unfortunately, probably gonna have to go bash Nazis eventually.

        As is tradition.

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  • Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I got to be a stay at home dad for a couple years. It was a wonderful experience and I miss it.

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  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Hell yes.

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  • Ryanmiller70@lemmy.zip ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    No because I don’t want to be a dad

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  • PartyAt15thAndSummit@lemmy.zip ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Sussudio?

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  • UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I would stay at home for an okay income and kids, although, as an IT guy, I could probably still work from home part time

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  • mp3@lemmy.ca ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    damn right I would. Spending more time with my kids, cooking whatever I want and not having to do chores with the little amount of spare time I have after I’m done working would be great.

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  • jaybone@lemmy.zip ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The lighting in these pics is odd, like this was taken in the middle of the night, while that guy was sleep walking. Also that doesn’t look like a place you live when you make $12m a year.

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