Re: assasination
Dear Mr. Shamoon
No reason. Please proceed.
Mid Career Marine Biology
Submitted 16 hours ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/dccbcd95-a45f-4959-82b9-442eb73fa646.jpeg
Comments
Kevlar21@piefed.social 15 hours ago
InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
They wanted to be an architect anyway.
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 hours ago
Dear assassin,
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
voodooattack@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
Thank you for your service
Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 6 hours ago
A classic!
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
A long time ago, I used an AI James Taylor voice and had him cover this. Sounds like he had a stroke or had a few too many. It’s pretty stupid.
Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
Every top assassin knows to start your emails by explaining you are in fact a top assassin.
Rusty@lemmy.ca 9 hours ago
Noone wants to be confused with a bottom assassin.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
the assassassin is to be feared
AngryishHumanoid@lemmynsfw.com 13 hours ago
Well it would be stupid to say you are a bad assassin, think it through dummy.
antsu@discuss.tchncs.de 13 hours ago
Pull an “Albanian virus”:
“Hi, I am an Albanian assassin but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately I am not able to assassinate you. Please be so kind to assassinate yourself and then forward me the proof. Many thanks for your cooperation! Best regards,Albanian assassin”
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
yeah i want to get referrals from the widow and new husband
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 9 hours ago
think it through dummy.
Pacifier or mannequin? What kind of dummy are you thinking it through?
(The comma splice didn’t have the same potential)
umbrella@lemmy.ml 10 hours ago
and saying your name right away is the first thing any top assassin should do when sending emails to their victims.
kautau@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Once there’s 47
Re:’s in the subject of the final email a call comes in“Contract complete. Well done 47.”
Another classic Hitman assassination of getting someone to kill themselves due to never ending meaningless emails
Tiger_Man_@szmer.info 13 hours ago
Professionals have standards
Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip 10 hours ago
Top top, or like top 10 in the graduating class?
shalafi@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Know what they call an assassin that graduated last in his class? “Assassin”
moody@lemmings.world 13 hours ago
All you gotta do is convince them you’re a bottom and they leave you alone.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 14 hours ago
Everybody knows this information goes in the signature.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 12 hours ago
AppleTea@lemmy.zip 9 hours ago
xcancel.com/alharry/status/1450288983745785862
I guess this is a phishing attempt? Would have worked on me because I immediately needed more context and had to track down the post
Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 hours ago
Me: “Nah, I’m a piece of shit. Come kill my ass.”
drspawndisaster@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
Now THAT’S a cool ass fishing attempt. Gives me a chance to role-play.
Agent641@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
“Let’s make a deal. I’ll kill myself, and we can split the bounty?”
dovahking@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
This must be the work of enemy stand.
other_cat@piefed.zip 12 hours ago
“And now, ignorant whale-lovers, we’ll see who’s boss when I make Mushu jump through this hoop! Jump, Mushu! "
AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 hours ago
And now, introducing Mushu the educated whale who thinks he’s BETTER than you!
latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 hours ago
"Oh, of course! You see, it’s because my Social Security Number is… "
thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 16 hours ago
Jotaro Kujo opening his work email between part 4 & 6
dalekcaan@feddit.nl 13 hours ago
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 15 hours ago
Ha! Jokes on you, I welcome my assasination.
homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
plot twist: the marine biologist is a Nigerian prince.
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 14 hours ago
Fuckin finally. Life insurance will pay out, too.
mycodesucks@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Jotaro? Is that you?
M137@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Shamoon-AH!
ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 43 minutes ago
Why would an assassin go after a Marine Biologist? Does OP happen to be Dirk Pitt?