Dude was wiping down his chair more often than his ass.
hygiene
Submitted 2 days ago by SSUPII@sopuli.xyz to [deleted]
https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/85c0393f-3d35-4403-9cb9-19a4ca85bc64.webp
Comments
scytale@piefed.zip 2 days ago
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Well yeah. Wipi g your chair isn’t gay.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 days ago
is it gay to slip a finger in when the tp breaks? asking for a friend.
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 2 days ago
Septic masculinity
TomMasz@piefed.social 1 day ago
Even once is more often than never.
PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 23 hours ago
Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.
A bidet (european style) is best.
no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again
beastlykings@sh.itjust.works 23 hours ago
Bidet crew checking in.
Mines got hot water. I don’t mean that it’s got a pipe for hot water, and you have to wait forever for it to warm up. I mean it’s got a water heater built in. And a heated seat. And a hot air blower… dryer? Butt hair dryer? It’s nice, especially in the winter.
Clean your butts, people
ToadOfHypnosis@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
A cold Bidet booty blast in the morning will wake you up better than a cup of coffee.
phx@lemmy.ca 22 hours ago
I’ve got a cheaper, tap-cold only version (mainly because that’s the easiest to install without running new plumbing or electrical in that particular location). Honestly the cold water isn’t so bad. It can even numb things up if you’ve been dehydrated and launched a particularly stressful cannonball.
ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 11 hours ago
I use a portable bidet. It is a rubber squeeze bottle. I use it to wash my asshole and a little toilet paper to dry.
The thing paid for itself many times over in toilet paper saved.
pool_spray_098@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
I like the idea of a bidet anywhere I go, as I feel like a literal disgusting caveman when I can’t use one.
But I feel like a portable one used in a public restroom would make me want to deep clean it every time I use it, and you kind of can’t in public. Also what’s it like to sneak it into a restroom discretely?
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 21 hours ago
A shower with soap is best, preferably after a different method. But whatever it’s your house, you can shit direct to shower if you like.
If you got poop on you anywhere else. Dry wiping it would not be sufficient. Rinsing it off and patting it dry would not be sufficient. You would wash with soap.
PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 15 hours ago
yup, i sit on the edge of the batch and get it with warm water and shower gel usually
mechoman444@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
For some reason I am offended that you used a / between itchy and smelly implying that it will be both.
PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 15 hours ago
if there is poo left there, it will be both
SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 15 hours ago
It absolutely can be both
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 21 hours ago
A proper diet would also help. Failing that, I just take a shower right after, as you put it, a dump run.
Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 11 hours ago
Every time I see this pop up, I’m reminded of this chair I saw once at my old place of employment.
SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 10 hours ago
FlembleFabber@sh.itjust.works 11 hours ago
Nooooooo
selokichtli@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
OP should ditch their imaginary girlfriend for another one less annoying.
defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
80% chance it’s actually his mom who’s complaining.
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 12 hours ago
Better be careful to not break both his arms
IWW4@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
LMAO
That is savage AF!!!
Jankatarch@lemmy.world 2 days ago
You know it smells bad when body-pillow comes alive to complain.
Resplendent606@piefed.social 2 days ago
I could understand if it smelled like swamp-ass (sweat) from sitting there too long, especially in a chair made of faux leather, but it shouldn't smell like poop.
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Wow really judgemental community here
Quadhammer@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Clean your ass!
humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 2 days ago
The trick is to wear clothes when sitting in it.
Faresh@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Even sitting naked shouldn’t smell like fecal matter…
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Or have a chair napkin if you’re gonna insist on being naked
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Now that’s going too far
Caesium@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Exactly, also faux leather is my bane that stuff is the worst. The texture is awful
BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 10 hours ago
I have a real leather chair, but a spandex cover because I’m a sweaty boi and like to sit cross legged.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 day ago
It really makes my anus sweat
Roopappy@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I also judge this guy.
axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe 2 days ago
I also judge this guy’s dead wife.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 days ago
guys, need some help here. my gaming room smells like shit. like literally shit. the carpet used to be grey, but it’s brown now because of the smell. I’ve been wiping my ass on the carpet because I saw my dog do it once and it feels good. my mom has been complaining about the smell for a week now and is threatening to come clean my room. I can’t let her see the room because I’ve smeared my turds on the walls artistically for my viewers on twitch. any help to get the poop smell out, please! if I can’t get the smell out dad said he’s going to force me to get a job!
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 day ago
I didn’t know Asmongold was on Lemmy!
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
I’l been sitting in the same (mesh) chair for >15yrs (Aeron) and have no such problem. That the OP’s response to the GF’s complaint is anger says more about them than they intend.
Dasus@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I think we’re witnessing a murder after the fact
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 1 day ago
eating shitty food and farting all the time and not wiping your ass probably are probably the culprits so yea better hygiene
thermal_shock@lemmy.world 1 day ago
But… How the fuck is it getting on the chair? Sitting there naked and grinding it in!?
buddascrayon@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
The part not seen here is that the guy hadn’t showered for over a week “because CSGO2 just came out”.
silicon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
If it’s fabric then the smell will permeate into it and stay there. Certain things like vinegar and baking soda might get rid of or lessen smells though.
Hagdos@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
Farting while sitting on it would be my guess
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
trum_pam_pam@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I guess he forgot to scratch his back as well
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 1 day ago
TBH I don’t know what that smell is but if it’s related to sweat and ass fluid then cleaning should be fairly simple:
-
Start with a 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on its side and soak then compress / scrub, this step should ensure no bacteria remains and that it dries very quickly for the next steps.
-
Next we’re going to try to counteract gastric and/or uric acids, which is to say hydrochloric acid, by scrubbing with washing soda. If you don’t have access to washing soda then you can either use baking soda directly or turn the baking soda into washing soda by dehydrating it in the oven.
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Final step, to counter any other contaminants, rinse with some amount of acidic cleaner such as vinegar. This will also help remove any soda from the previous step.
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Dry in a very warm place with lots of airflow.
-
Wash your ass with soap.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 21 hours ago
I suggest a small alteration:
Start with 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on
its side and soak then compress / scrub…fire.Buy a new chair.
Wash your ass with soap.
LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Worked at vet office, anything like urine or feces must be rinsed off or it will smell. Obviously soap is needed too.
He should powerwash it outside. Or, if in an apartment he could rinse it for a while in the shower.
ipitco@lemmybefree.net 1 day ago
Rincing vigenar might be useful so the chair doesn’t smell equally bad again
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 1 day ago
It was implied thay alongside cleaners would be rinsing, except for the alcohol, but I guess expecting the readers to have ever cleaned in their lives was too much.
-
medem@lemmy.wtf 5 hours ago
Still baffles me how many people are convinced that you can ‘wipe properly/thoroughly/enough’. It’s exactly for that reason that I avoid sitting down in public transportation. Anyone who either possesses the instinct of not wanting to smell like shit and/or has had the ‘privilege’ of cleaning someone else’s butt (say, a small child or an adult in need of special care) knows that the words ‘wiping’ and ‘hygiene’ can only be used in the same phrase if there’s also the words ‘wet’ and/or ‘wash’ and/or ‘soap’ in it. Otherwise…of course your f****g chair stinks.
MissJinx@lemmy.world 1 day ago
how the fuck a chair smells like poop?! Is he siting there without pants? Did he poop his pants in thr chair?!
A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 1 day ago
5 bucks says he doesnt wipe his ass after shitting, or wash his ass in the shower, so has a perpetual skidmark, possibly even full blown melted toblerone.
LongboardingLad@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I hate the phrase, “full blown melted toblerone”. Thanks for sharing 🤣
MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That thread was a total mixed bag of people trying to be genuinely helpful and ripping on the guy. It was something to behold.
buttnugget@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
People should not rip on the guy unless he is one of those “it’s gay to wipe my ass” morons. I have no idea how many, but some amount of people have issues with things like this; I know I did when I was younger. Slamming people should not be the first choice.
MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
I agree with you, especially since he did ask for help. I have a feeling he was aware of what the issue was but was in denial about it. But, if someone were to ask me if I could sum up Reddit in a thread, that would be a contender if not the top choice as an example of what to expect. That or “what is potato”
python@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Okay semi unrelated question, but do mens gym showers usually smell like poop?
Because I recently got a fancy gym membership through my employer that allows me to go to basically any gym in the area, and so far the shower in the mixed gender sauna areas has always smelled like poop, while the showers in the woman’s sauna and changing room haven’t.
Might just be a weird coincidence, but it’s been like 5 different gyms of different chains and I’ve been really bothered by itA_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 1 day ago
There are an awful lot of men that are so insecure and terrified that they think touching their own ass to wipe/wash it makes them gay… So they don’t wipe/wash their ass at all.
And thats why they, the things they touch, and the areas they congregate, always smell like shit.
It smells like shit, because it IS shit.
Zorniac@leminal.space 21 hours ago
I worked at a foundry a while back and they had a locker room and showers so it was normal to have fully naked guys just walking around, this was fine, the problem was the guys that didn’t wipe their ass properly and sat down on the bench by the lockers before showering… The benches were a light pine color, you could see spots of shit where people sat, just dried on there.
I never sat on those benches, even to put my boots on, people are disgusting.
burgermeister@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
No. If I went to the showers and they smelled like poop I would leave that gym.
A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 1 day ago
yep, if showers smell like shit, its cause theres shit somewhere.
Blackmist@feddit.uk 1 day ago
Maybe it’s just terrible plumbing, that pushes shit below where those showers are.
We had an issue at work where flushing in the men’s would cause the shit to pop up in the ladies toilet. There was a fair few arguments among the women over who was leaving floaters.
phx@lemmy.ca 22 hours ago
That’s horrible but kinda hilarious too. Wondering how the hell they tracked that one down.
“Well this one had bits of corn and bean in it but only Bob had that today for lunch and I’m positive I saw him bolting for the men’s room, so mayyybe…”
Atomic@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
No they don’t. At least mine doesn’t. Probably because they clean their toilets and showers.
Find a new gym. If they’re not cleaning the shower, what else don’t they clean?
python@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As I said, it’s been a universal experience in the 5 or so different gyms I’ve tried so far. I’m obviously not going into the bad smelling shower because the women’s showers actually are clean. So idk if that can be blamed on the gym
bstix@feddit.dk 1 day ago
No, they don’t.
It’s either a weird coincidence or in perhaps that the fitness chains areusing the same plumber and that guy is doing a shit job.
FlorisJan@kbin.melroy.org 2 days ago
This makes me angry
hperrin@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
0% chance that guy didn’t shart on that chair.
RagingRobot@lemmy.world 1 day ago
fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 1 day ago
Simple case of bad biology luck or bad diet, resulting in smelly farts, combined with not standing up. Switching to a mesh chair would do wonders.
BetaBlake@lemmy.world 2 days ago
“girlfriend” Ha yeah right dude
rafoix@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
He should do anal tightening exercises every other day to cut down on all that feces leaking out.
frenchfryenjoyer@lemmings.world 2 days ago
What in the holy mother of skidmarks is happenin here
underscores@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
The real answer is to get a bidet, have a better diet with more fibers, be more thorough when cleaning yourself.
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Fake: op has gf
Gay: he’s fucking his chair?
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
blargh513@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Aeron chair with a crumb tray under.the mesh. Empty the tray once a year and hose down the chair every other.
salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 2 days ago
🤮
orochi02@feddit.org 1 day ago
Holy shit This thread is hilarious I was laughing non stop for 10 mins
CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Guys like this get girlfriends and yet I’m still single.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 hours ago
I know. Straight girls cannot have standards. Or need to fetishize awful shit. Or die alone.
CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
I…what?