OP should ditch their imaginary girlfriend for another one less annoying.
hygiene
Submitted 3 weeks ago by SSUPII@sopuli.xyz to [deleted]
https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/85c0393f-3d35-4403-9cb9-19a4ca85bc64.webp
Comments
selokichtli@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
80% chance it’s actually his mom who’s complaining.
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Better be careful to not break both his arms
IWW4@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
LMAO
That is savage AF!!!
Resplendent606@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
I could understand if it smelled like swamp-ass (sweat) from sitting there too long, especially in a chair made of faux leather, but it shouldn't smell like poop.
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Wow really judgemental community here
Quadhammer@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Clean your ass!
humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The trick is to wear clothes when sitting in it.
Faresh@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Even sitting naked shouldn’t smell like fecal matter…
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Or have a chair napkin if you’re gonna insist on being naked
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Now that’s going too far
Caesium@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Exactly, also faux leather is my bane that stuff is the worst. The texture is awful
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It really makes my anus sweat
BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I have a real leather chair, but a spandex cover because I’m a sweaty boi and like to sit cross legged.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You know it smells bad when body-pillow comes alive to complain.
Roopappy@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I also judge this guy.
axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe 3 weeks ago
I also judge this guy’s dead wife.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
guys, need some help here. my gaming room smells like shit. like literally shit. the carpet used to be grey, but it’s brown now because of the smell. I’ve been wiping my ass on the carpet because I saw my dog do it once and it feels good. my mom has been complaining about the smell for a week now and is threatening to come clean my room. I can’t let her see the room because I’ve smeared my turds on the walls artistically for my viewers on twitch. any help to get the poop smell out, please! if I can’t get the smell out dad said he’s going to force me to get a job!
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
I didn’t know Asmongold was on Lemmy!
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
I’l been sitting in the same (mesh) chair for >15yrs (Aeron) and have no such problem. That the OP’s response to the GF’s complaint is anger says more about them than they intend.
Dasus@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I think we’re witnessing a murder after the fact
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
TBH I don’t know what that smell is but if it’s related to sweat and ass fluid then cleaning should be fairly simple:
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Start with a 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on its side and soak then compress / scrub, this step should ensure no bacteria remains and that it dries very quickly for the next steps.
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Next we’re going to try to counteract gastric and/or uric acids, which is to say hydrochloric acid, by scrubbing with washing soda. If you don’t have access to washing soda then you can either use baking soda directly or turn the baking soda into washing soda by dehydrating it in the oven.
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Final step, to counter any other contaminants, rinse with some amount of acidic cleaner such as vinegar. This will also help remove any soda from the previous step.
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Dry in a very warm place with lots of airflow.
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Wash your ass with soap.
LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Worked at vet office, anything like urine or feces must be rinsed off or it will smell. Obviously soap is needed too.
He should powerwash it outside. Or, if in an apartment he could rinse it for a while in the shower.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I suggest a small alteration:
Start with 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on
its side and soak then compress / scrub…fire.Buy a new chair.
Wash your ass with soap.
ipitco@lemmybefree.net 3 weeks ago
Rincing vigenar might be useful so the chair doesn’t smell equally bad again
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It was implied thay alongside cleaners would be rinsing, except for the alcohol, but I guess expecting the readers to have ever cleaned in their lives was too much.
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PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.
A bidet (european style) is best.
no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again
beastlykings@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Bidet crew checking in.
Mines got hot water. I don’t mean that it’s got a pipe for hot water, and you have to wait forever for it to warm up. I mean it’s got a water heater built in. And a heated seat. And a hot air blower… dryer? Butt hair dryer? It’s nice, especially in the winter.
Clean your butts, people
phx@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
I’ve got a cheaper, tap-cold only version (mainly because that’s the easiest to install without running new plumbing or electrical in that particular location). Honestly the cold water isn’t so bad. It can even numb things up if you’ve been dehydrated and launched a particularly stressful cannonball.
ToadOfHypnosis@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
A cold Bidet booty blast in the morning will wake you up better than a cup of coffee.
farngis_mcgiles@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
what brand? i tried a biobidet and was horribly disappointed with the water strength compared to my cold non electric
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
A shower with soap is best, preferably after a different method. But whatever it’s your house, you can shit direct to shower if you like.
If you got poop on you anywhere else. Dry wiping it would not be sufficient. Rinsing it off and patting it dry would not be sufficient. You would wash with soap.
PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
yup, i sit on the edge of the batch and get it with warm water and shower gel usually
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
i uh, i don’t think it’s normal to have an itchy and smelly bumhole, regardless of how you wipe
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
A proper diet would also help. Failing that, I just take a shower right after, as you put it, a dump run.
ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 2 weeks ago
I use a portable bidet. It is a rubber squeeze bottle. I use it to wash my asshole and a little toilet paper to dry.
The thing paid for itself many times over in toilet paper saved.
pool_spray_098@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I like the idea of a bidet anywhere I go, as I feel like a literal disgusting caveman when I can’t use one.
But I feel like a portable one used in a public restroom would make me want to deep clean it every time I use it, and you kind of can’t in public. Also what’s it like to sneak it into a restroom discretely?
mechoman444@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
For some reason I am offended that you used a / between itchy and smelly implying that it will be both.
PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
if there is poo left there, it will be both
SSUPII@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
It absolutely can be both
uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
If you can’t afford one, or rent, or wander around, travel bidets are about $20-$30 and are a water bottle with a hook-shaped wand-spout and an air valve.
My proctologist has a personal vendetta against wiping, and I messed up my piles from ages of wiping too hard. Bidet and dab to dry.
FlorisJan@kbin.melroy.org 3 weeks ago
This makes me angry
Drewmeister@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Chill! This is a common problem that must people have.
FlorisJan@kbin.melroy.org 3 weeks ago
Being angry? That makes me even more angry!
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
trum_pam_pam@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I guess he forgot to scratch his back as well
hperrin@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
0% chance that guy didn’t shart on that chair.
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
eating shitty food and farting all the time and not wiping your ass probably are probably the culprits so yea better hygiene
thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
But… How the fuck is it getting on the chair? Sitting there naked and grinding it in!?
silicon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If it’s fabric then the smell will permeate into it and stay there. Certain things like vinegar and baking soda might get rid of or lessen smells though.
buddascrayon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The part not seen here is that the guy hadn’t showered for over a week “because CSGO2 just came out”.
Hagdos@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Farting while sitting on it would be my guess
BetaBlake@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“girlfriend” Ha yeah right dude
ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I know a flabby, sweaty, unhygienic dude with a diaper fetish who also RPs as a baby (???) on Discord who’s been with his girl for about a decade. The world can surprise you, lol.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
She’s into the diaper play, one assumes there’s just not a lot of options or the grosser the better
Doomsider@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
He means his mom.
rafoix@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
He should do anal tightening exercises every other day to cut down on all that feces leaking out.
Okokimup@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Nah, just needs the right butt plug.
fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 3 weeks ago
Simple case of bad biology luck or bad diet, resulting in smelly farts, combined with not standing up. Switching to a mesh chair would do wonders.
spicehoarder@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Standing up and eating better would also work I assume
Denjin@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Or just being plain nasty.
fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 3 weeks ago
Can’t always help what you smell like.
dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
I do think it is possible even with decent hygiene for years of farts to absorb into certain fabrics
klemptor@startrek.website 3 weeks ago
You’re giving this guy wayyyyy too much benefit of the doubt.
RagingRobot@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
MissJinx@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
how the fuck a chair smells like poop?! Is he siting there without pants? Did he poop his pants in thr chair?!
frenchfryenjoyer@lemmings.world 3 weeks ago
What in the holy mother of skidmarks is happenin here
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Fake: op has gf
Gay: he’s fucking his chair?
python@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Okay semi unrelated question, but do mens gym showers usually smell like poop?
Because I recently got a fancy gym membership through my employer that allows me to go to basically any gym in the area, and so far the shower in the mixed gender sauna areas has always smelled like poop, while the showers in the woman’s sauna and changing room haven’t.
Might just be a weird coincidence, but it’s been like 5 different gyms of different chains and I’ve been really bothered by itblargh513@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Aeron chair with a crumb tray under.the mesh. Empty the tray once a year and hose down the chair every other.
salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
🤮
MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That thread was a total mixed bag of people trying to be genuinely helpful and ripping on the guy. It was something to behold.
Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
underscores@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
The real answer is to get a bidet, have a better diet with more fibers, be more thorough when cleaning yourself.
CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Guys like this get girlfriends and yet I’m still single.
ThunderComplex@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Go to the bathrooooooommm!!!
Not yet!orochi02@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Holy shit This thread is hilarious I was laughing non stop for 10 mins
scytale@piefed.zip 3 weeks ago
Dude was wiping down his chair more often than his ass.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Well yeah. Wipi g your chair isn’t gay.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
is it gay to slip a finger in when the tp breaks? asking for a friend.
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 3 weeks ago
Septic masculinity
TomMasz@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Even once is more often than never.