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hygiene

⁨1008⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨SSUPII@sopuli.xyz⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/85c0393f-3d35-4403-9cb9-19a4ca85bc64.webp

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Comments

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  • scytale@piefed.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Dude was wiping down his chair more often than his ass.

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    • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Well yeah. Wipi g your chair isn’t gay.

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      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        is it gay to slip a finger in when the tp breaks? asking for a friend.

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    • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Septic masculinity

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    • TomMasz@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Even once is more often than never.

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  • selokichtli@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    OP should ditch their imaginary girlfriend for another one less annoying.

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    • defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      80% chance it’s actually his mom who’s complaining.

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      • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Better be careful to not break both his arms

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    • IWW4@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      LMAO

      That is savage AF!!!

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  • Resplendent606@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I could understand if it smelled like swamp-ass (sweat) from sitting there too long, especially in a chair made of faux leather, but it shouldn't smell like poop.

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    • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Wow really judgemental community here

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      • Quadhammer@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Clean your ass!

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    • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The trick is to wear clothes when sitting in it.

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      • Faresh@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Even sitting naked shouldn’t smell like fecal matter…

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      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Or have a chair napkin if you’re gonna insist on being naked

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      • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Now that’s going too far

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    • Caesium@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Exactly, also faux leather is my bane that stuff is the worst. The texture is awful

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      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It really makes my anus sweat

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      • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I have a real leather chair, but a spandex cover because I’m a sweaty boi and like to sit cross legged.

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  • Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You know it smells bad when body-pillow comes alive to complain.

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  • Roopappy@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I also judge this guy.

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    • axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I also judge this guy’s dead wife.

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  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    guys, need some help here. my gaming room smells like shit. like literally shit. the carpet used to be grey, but it’s brown now because of the smell. I’ve been wiping my ass on the carpet because I saw my dog do it once and it feels good. my mom has been complaining about the smell for a week now and is threatening to come clean my room. I can’t let her see the room because I’ve smeared my turds on the walls artistically for my viewers on twitch. any help to get the poop smell out, please! if I can’t get the smell out dad said he’s going to force me to get a job!

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    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I didn’t know Asmongold was on Lemmy!

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  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’l been sitting in the same (mesh) chair for >15yrs (Aeron) and have no such problem. That the OP’s response to the GF’s complaint is anger says more about them than they intend.

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    • Dasus@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I think we’re witnessing a murder after the fact

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  • finitebanjo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    TBH I don’t know what that smell is but if it’s related to sweat and ass fluid then cleaning should be fairly simple:

    1. Start with a 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on its side and soak then compress / scrub, this step should ensure no bacteria remains and that it dries very quickly for the next steps.

    2. Next we’re going to try to counteract gastric and/or uric acids, which is to say hydrochloric acid, by scrubbing with washing soda. If you don’t have access to washing soda then you can either use baking soda directly or turn the baking soda into washing soda by dehydrating it in the oven.

    3. Final step, to counter any other contaminants, rinse with some amount of acidic cleaner such as vinegar. This will also help remove any soda from the previous step.

    4. Dry in a very warm place with lots of airflow.

    5. Wash your ass with soap.

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    • LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Worked at vet office, anything like urine or feces must be rinsed off or it will smell. Obviously soap is needed too.

      He should powerwash it outside. Or, if in an apartment he could rinse it for a while in the shower.

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    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I suggest a small alteration:

      Start with 70% rubbing alcohol, set the chair on its side and soak then compress / scrub… fire.

      Buy a new chair.

      Wash your ass with soap.

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      • finitebanjo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Ah yes, the GOP solution.

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    • ipitco@lemmybefree.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Rincing vigenar might be useful so the chair doesn’t smell equally bad again

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      • finitebanjo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It was implied thay alongside cleaners would be rinsing, except for the alcohol, but I guess expecting the readers to have ever cleaned in their lives was too much.

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  • PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.

    A bidet (european style) is best.

    no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again

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    • beastlykings@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Bidet crew checking in.

      Mines got hot water. I don’t mean that it’s got a pipe for hot water, and you have to wait forever for it to warm up. I mean it’s got a water heater built in. And a heated seat. And a hot air blower… dryer? Butt hair dryer? It’s nice, especially in the winter.

      Clean your butts, people

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      • phx@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I’ve got a cheaper, tap-cold only version (mainly because that’s the easiest to install without running new plumbing or electrical in that particular location). Honestly the cold water isn’t so bad. It can even numb things up if you’ve been dehydrated and launched a particularly stressful cannonball.

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      • ToadOfHypnosis@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        A cold Bidet booty blast in the morning will wake you up better than a cup of coffee.

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      • farngis_mcgiles@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        what brand? i tried a biobidet and was horribly disappointed with the water strength compared to my cold non electric

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    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      A shower with soap is best, preferably after a different method. But whatever it’s your house, you can shit direct to shower if you like.

      If you got poop on you anywhere else. Dry wiping it would not be sufficient. Rinsing it off and patting it dry would not be sufficient. You would wash with soap.

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      • PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        yup, i sit on the edge of the batch and get it with warm water and shower gel usually

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    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      i uh, i don’t think it’s normal to have an itchy and smelly bumhole, regardless of how you wipe

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    • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      A proper diet would also help. Failing that, I just take a shower right after, as you put it, a dump run.

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    • ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I use a portable bidet. It is a rubber squeeze bottle. I use it to wash my asshole and a little toilet paper to dry.

      The thing paid for itself many times over in toilet paper saved.

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      • pool_spray_098@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I like the idea of a bidet anywhere I go, as I feel like a literal disgusting caveman when I can’t use one.

        But I feel like a portable one used in a public restroom would make me want to deep clean it every time I use it, and you kind of can’t in public. Also what’s it like to sneak it into a restroom discretely?

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    • mechoman444@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      For some reason I am offended that you used a / between itchy and smelly implying that it will be both.

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      • PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        if there is poo left there, it will be both

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      • SSUPII@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It absolutely can be both

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    • uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If you can’t afford one, or rent, or wander around, travel bidets are about $20-$30 and are a water bottle with a hook-shaped wand-spout and an air valve.

      My proctologist has a personal vendetta against wiping, and I messed up my piles from ages of wiping too hard. Bidet and dab to dry.

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  • FlorisJan@kbin.melroy.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This makes me angry

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    • Drewmeister@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Chill! This is a common problem that must people have.

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      • FlorisJan@kbin.melroy.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Being angry? That makes me even more angry!

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  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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    • trum_pam_pam@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I guess he forgot to scratch his back as well

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  • hperrin@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    0% chance that guy didn’t shart on that chair.

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  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    eating shitty food and farting all the time and not wiping your ass probably are probably the culprits so yea better hygiene

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    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      But… How the fuck is it getting on the chair? Sitting there naked and grinding it in!?

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      • silicon@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        If it’s fabric then the smell will permeate into it and stay there. Certain things like vinegar and baking soda might get rid of or lessen smells though.

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      • buddascrayon@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        The part not seen here is that the guy hadn’t showered for over a week “because CSGO2 just came out”.

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      • Hagdos@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Farting while sitting on it would be my guess

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  • BetaBlake@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “girlfriend” Ha yeah right dude

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    • ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I know a flabby, sweaty, unhygienic dude with a diaper fetish who also RPs as a baby (???) on Discord who’s been with his girl for about a decade. The world can surprise you, lol.

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      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        She’s into the diaper play, one assumes there’s just not a lot of options or the grosser the better

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    • Doomsider@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      He means his mom.

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  • rafoix@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    He should do anal tightening exercises every other day to cut down on all that feces leaking out.

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    • Okokimup@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Nah, just needs the right butt plug.

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  • fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Simple case of bad biology luck or bad diet, resulting in smelly farts, combined with not standing up. Switching to a mesh chair would do wonders.

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    • spicehoarder@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Standing up and eating better would also work I assume

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    • Denjin@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Or just being plain nasty.

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      • fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Can’t always help what you smell like.

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    • dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I do think it is possible even with decent hygiene for years of farts to absorb into certain fabrics

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    • klemptor@startrek.website ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You’re giving this guy wayyyyy too much benefit of the doubt.

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  • RagingRobot@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You gotta wash your ass!

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  • MissJinx@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    how the fuck a chair smells like poop?! Is he siting there without pants? Did he poop his pants in thr chair?!

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  • frenchfryenjoyer@lemmings.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    What in the holy mother of skidmarks is happenin here

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  • pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Fake: op has gf

    Gay: he’s fucking his chair?

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  • python@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Okay semi unrelated question, but do mens gym showers usually smell like poop?

    Because I recently got a fancy gym membership through my employer that allows me to go to basically any gym in the area, and so far the shower in the mixed gender sauna areas has always smelled like poop, while the showers in the woman’s sauna and changing room haven’t.
    Might just be a weird coincidence, but it’s been like 5 different gyms of different chains and I’ve been really bothered by it

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  • blargh513@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Aeron chair with a crumb tray under.the mesh. Empty the tray once a year and hose down the chair every other.

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  • salacious_coaster@infosec.pub ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    🤮

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  • MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That thread was a total mixed bag of people trying to be genuinely helpful and ripping on the guy. It was something to behold.

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  • Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Every time I see this pop up, I’m reminded of this chair I saw once at my old place of employment.

    Image

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  • sundray@lemmus.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Dirty son of a bitches
    Need to wash they motherfuckin ass, mane
    Don’t make no goddamn sense
    Shit pissin me off, mane
    I’m serious than a motherfucker
    Dirty-ass bitches

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  • underscores@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The real answer is to get a bidet, have a better diet with more fibers, be more thorough when cleaning yourself.

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  • CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Guys like this get girlfriends and yet I’m still single.

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  • ThunderComplex@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Go to the bathrooooooommm!!!
    Not yet!

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  • orochi02@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Holy shit This thread is hilarious I was laughing non stop for 10 mins

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