How do bikinis not feel just as exposing as underwear?

Submitted ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨liyah27@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨showerthoughts@lemmy.world⁩

I’m a momma and I was planning on driving my son down to the beach with some family/friends. I haven’t worn a bikini since my younger days since I’m super busy nowadays as a single mom working 2 jobs. As I was trying on some of my older bikinis, I couldn’t help but wonder how my younger self was confident enough to be this exposed. I’m not insecure about my body or anything, actually I’m pretty confident since I go to the gym often, so genuinely how do other women have the confidence to rock a bikini?

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pjwestin@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
People are right in saying it’s context and consent, and it’s not completely gendered. Men’s swimsuits are basically just boxer shorts. Normally I’m not self-conscious about that, but a few months ago I signed up for a toddler swimming class with my son where I wound up being the only Dad, and suddenly I felt a bit exposed. I think the normalcy of walking around in nothing but a small pair of shorts kinda evaporated once I was the only man in the room.

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SkyNTP@lemmy.ml ⁨54⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
It’s not just Bikinis. It’s all swim wear, saunas in Europe, baths in Japan. It’s just socially acceptable and expected in the right context, and that expectation plays a huge role in comfort. The context seems to flip a switch in people’s brain.

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Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
social conditioning

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fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com ⁨53⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
Do what makes you comfortable.

You’ll be out with family and friends, in an environment where most any swimsuit would be expected. Any lack of confidence would come from your own internal comfort, so you do you.

As a more practical suggestion if you’re on the fence, wear a wrap? Then you can decide how you feel in the moment.

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Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨55⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
I wouldnt go out with my underwear in the garden.
But going with my bath shorts is totally fair game to my mind.

I would even hesitate dipping into the beach with my underwear even if it was with my mother/father.
It’s somehow weird to me. Even if it’s totally irrational.

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Mothra@mander.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
People here saying consent (fair enough) but let me tell you, clothes are suggestive. There is more to suggestion and context than the actual content. Is anybody shocked to see a nude statue in a museum or something? Or in a painting? Now how about somebody wearing nothing but a g-string and a harness? You can argue the harnessed person in a gstring is less exposed than any nude. I say no. Clothing adds to the exposure sometimes. Underwear isn’t meant to be seen, so when it’s seen, it prompts judgement.

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- Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
  To summarize your statement, social conditioning
  
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- Fondots@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I go to a nudist resort fairly frequently. Most of it is clothing optional except for the pools, so you see people walking around in various states of undress depending on the weather and what they’re doing (watched a guy weedwacking naked last time I was there, seemed ill-advised IMO)
  
  You pretty quickly stop seeing nudity as being sexy there . It certainly doesn’t help that the average nudist is middle aged or older and often not in the best shape.
  
  This resort also attracts a decent amount of swingers. While the nudists aren’t particularly trying to impress anyone, that’s pretty much the whole reason the swingers are there. So how do you make yourself look sexier than just walking around naked? You wear something. Bathing suits, pasties, big flashy jewelry, crazy hats, see-through dresses, ropes, etc.
  
  And though many of them aren’t much more attractive than the nudists, they turn some heads.
  
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  - Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    
    watched a guy weedwacking naked last time I was there
    
    In case you were wondering, this is a weedwacker
    
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- captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Exactly. I see a bikini every time I see people swimming. Underwear though, that implies some form of intimacy
  
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- grue@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  See also: tvtropes.org/pmwiki/…/TheissTitillationTheory : “The sexiness of an outfit is directly proportional to the perceived possibility that a vital piece of it might fall off.”
  
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gigachad@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
We are on vacation right now and my SO actually wears only the bottom of the bikini and goes bra less to the beach, because she says it’s unfair I can free my nipples and she can not. Well that’s pretty fair I would say?
We are European though and probably a bit less prude than US Americans.

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- Opinionhaver@feddit.uk ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  
  my SO actually wears only the bottom of the bikini and goes bra less to the beach, because she says it’s unfair I can free my nipples and she can not
  
  Doesn’t sound like she can’t.
  
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  - UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
    Society and shit
    
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- Alexstarfire@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  If boobs had guns like in Austin Power, our heads would explode trying to figure out if we cared about the 2nd amendment more or being prudes.
  
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- liyah27@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Well considering I’m going to be around my son and other family members that’s not really possible lmao.
  
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  - MarieMarion@literature.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
    Social conditioning, once again. We’re French, and it’s totally possible for us.
    Yesterday, among strangers, at the local lake, my 42 year old friend was topless, playing with her 7 year old son and her 5 year old (naked) step-daughter. A 36 yo pregnant friend was wearing a string bikini around her husband, 6 yo daughter, and in-laws. It was a non-issue.
    Not saying all rules can always be broken, but they’re heavily context- and culture-dependant.
    
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  - grue@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    To be fair, if your son cares it’s only because you/society taught him to care.
    
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  - comrade_twisty@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Why does your son not understand human anatomy? We all grew up seeing our moms boobs at some point.
    
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JASN_DE@feddit.org ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Swimming apparel is explicitly made from slightly thicker and very different material, keeping you from looking like you entered a wet-tshirt-contest. That alone is a big subconscious help. Or are you talking about the amount (or rather lack) of clothing?

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- liyah27@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  It’s more of the general exposure of my midriff, cleavage, and cheeks. But I’ll probably just say fuck it and rock it anyways lol.
  
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BeatTakeshi@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Image

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- Witchfire@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  The difference is consent
  
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  - BeatTakeshi@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Obviously consent is the non negotiable standard nowadays (or I wish it were so) but it’s true that beaches/swimming pool as a social construct allow for a lessened sense of prudishness I public. Underwears simply do not belong to this construct
    
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  - Korhaka@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    And I doubt you would feel comfortable with someone staring at you in a bikini either.
    
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  - Lemminary@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
    The difference is one is battle armor.
    
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DearMoogle@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Something about feeling like a mom I guess? Idk I don’t have kids! xD For me, rocking a bikini = feeling confident about my body. I used to wear smaller bikinis when I was younger but now I find swim shorts much more comfortable, practical, carefree. Why are us women wearing small tight swim clothes anyway, while men wear comfy shorts? Well it helps that I’m not at that stage in my life where I’m looking to date or impress anyone lol

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Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
You get used to it, especially when nobody cares. Walking into a corner shop in nothing but shorts is pretty Sus in a city in winter, but if it’s a hot summer day and the corner shop is near the beach, it’s fine.

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Zahille7@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I just got done working a comic convention this weekend. You might be pretty surprised by the general lack of clothing most people wear to those things (calling it a “costume”).

Just this weekend alone, I saw at least five guys walking around without a shirt, and I don’t know how many women wearing things that showed basically everything. Like so tight and thin I could tell what kind and color underwear they were wearing.

And this was in Indianapolis, far from a beach or lake, right in the middle of downtown.

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- bravesilvernest@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Shoot, was GenCon this weekend?
  
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  - Bytemeister@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
    Seems a little early for it.
    
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  - floral_toxicity@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
    PopCon
    
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Munkisquisher@lemmy.nz ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
We have an ad for ice-creams in NZ that covers this topic youtu.be/h-Lx2ihpGbc

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- Elaine@lemmy.world ⁨52⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
  Did he call them budgie smugglers?
  
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- Speculater@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Tog tog tog tog
  
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faktotum@leminal.space ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
You are literally exposing yourself. And if you aren’t cognizant of that then you are either numb or acclimated.L

And these smug commenters are like people raised on a farm wondering why you might physically gag if you’ve never seen an animal butchered in person before. It’s only natural.

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- Ledivin@lemmy.world ⁨58⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
  Imagine hating your own body this much
  
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cRazi_man@europe.pub ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Context and culture and expectations. I agree with your point, but there isn’t a logical/sensible answer to these things.

I’m a man and I don’t think it would be acceptable for me to wear a Speedo swimsuit or have my bum exposed the way some thong bikini bottoms do. Communities, societies and cultures dictate what’s acceptable in an unsaid way. It is what it is.

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ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Were you confident or just lacked a more adult understanding of nudity plus you had a greater desire for praise for your physical attributes?

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Flickerby@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Consent. If you see a woman in her swimsuit in public it’s because she wants you to. If you see a woman in her underwear in public it’s because she wants you to. If you see a woman in either when she DOESN’T want you to then she’s likely to have the same reaction. Same as dude’s in swim trunks. Public? Fine. Walk in on changing? Likely to be a bit “ahhhh!”

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Someplaceunknown@leminal.space ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Frills

Disclaimer: I am a strait white mail

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Mubelotix@jlai.lu ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
It does tbh

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illi@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I’d say it’s the intention.

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