Move fast and break things.
Merge vulnerabilities.
Double the work.
Merge code without tests.
Anything, but don’t let code become stale.
Stop transfering people from sales to engineering!
Merge then review
Submitted 5 months ago by agilob@programming.dev to programmer_humor@programming.dev
https://programming.dev/pictrs/image/de660c5d-e1cd-4ac7-a0e1-a5b235046bc6.png
Comments
sirdorius@programming.dev 5 months ago
I really wish LinkedIn would add an anonymous cringe emoji. I would use it on like 90% of the content on that site.
Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 5 months ago
The best thing you can do with that shithole of a site is ignore it as best as possible. Don’t give them any engagement. They’re no better than rage-baiters on Reddit and TikTok
zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
I wouldn’t even do it anonymously if I still had a linked in account
rainynight65@feddit.de 5 months ago
I’m having a hard time figuring out whether this guy is a fucking moron or a fucking idiot.
vox@sopuli.xyz 5 months ago
pete’s a fucking genius
bier@feddit.nl 5 months ago
Exactly, this is how you pay off your mortgage
enitoni@beehaw.org 5 months ago
Both?
EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 5 months ago
No integration is as continuous as editing in prod.
Theharpyeagle@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Unironically worked for a company that did this. Don’t test it, don’t even run it, just put it in prod.
Wild_Mastic@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Me too, it was glorious that time someone accidentally pushed on a Friday evening and stopped production lines for the following week.
KeenFlame@feddit.nu 5 months ago
I miss when internet services was literally down because it was being developed in place
notannpc@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Amateur. You want real performance? Code in prod. Literally could not be better for collaboration to have the whole team working directly from production servers. Best part? You get INSTANT feedback.
zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
Another benefit is you never have to worry about merge conflicts
VantaBrandon@lemmy.world 5 months ago
I just commit directly to master with auto-deploy like a real cowboy, yee-haw!
floofloof@lemmy.ca 5 months ago
Why review at all when the users will do this for you? Deploy and move on. If it’s broken they’ll tell you.
VantaBrandon@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Right? Who needs a QA team when you can use real live customers for testing
SkyNTP@lemmy.ca 5 months ago
What does “stale code” even mean?
Does that mean it falls behind stable? Just merge stable into your branch; problem solved.
Or is this just some coded language for “people aren’t adopting my ideas fast enough”. Stop bitching and get good.
Blackmist@feddit.uk 5 months ago
Do we have a Linked In Lunatics sub on Lemmy?
jozep@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Anders429@programming.dev 5 months ago
Wow, I’m really disappointed, it’s just full of posts from parody accounts with people in the comments not realizing it isn’t real.
dannym@lemmy.escapebigtech.info 5 months ago
If somebody actually did that it would be grounds for removing their privileges to merge into master. THIS, THIS is why the JavaScript ecosystem has gotten so bad, people with mentalities similar to his.
bleistift2@feddit.de 5 months ago
My old boss (at a sturtup with some ten ppl) loved to do this. When you’re done with your work, merge to master. Boss-man would then revert the commits if he didn’t like the result. Since the branches all were merged, no-one knew what was actually in prod. Fun times.
Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 5 months ago
'i help JavaScript engineers become framework architects by getting them forcibly reassigned.
VantaBrandon@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Better yet just edit files live on prod from Notepad (not plus plus) over Samba for “xtreme moral” boost
MeanEYE@lemmy.world 5 months ago
The amount of times where I had to fix things in live production servers is not a small number. Then again, we are only humans. Backup often and you are golden.
Sanctus@lemmy.world 5 months ago
This is why I include those preservative libraries in my projects. My code doesn’t go stale for a whole three weeks longer.
okamiueru@lemmy.world 5 months ago
This is satire, right? Surely no one would put their name on that publicly?
Like someone working in a kitchen boasting about a life hack of not wasting time with hygiene.
DudeDudenson@lemmings.world 5 months ago
Wash your hands after cooking, never let food products sit stale
affiliate@lemmy.world 5 months ago
never chew before swallowing either. the food can still get stale in your mouth
silencioso@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Before everyone loses their minds, in Extreme Programming there are safeguards other than PR reviews. Before you submit a PR, you are supposed to have written the tests and to have written your code with pair programming, so your code already has some safety measures in place. On top of that, when you merge and deploy, more tests are run, and only if all of them are green do your changes go into production.
redcalcium@lemmy.institute 5 months ago
Pair programming? Then the code is already reviewed.
agilob@programming.dev 5 months ago
you are supposed to have written the tests and to have written your code with pair programming,
I commented out the tests because they were failing, pipelines were green so I merged. Now it’s running on prod. What do you do?
silencioso@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Fire you for destroying the tests. It’s intentional sabotage.
pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
Give you public kudos for moving fast and breaking things. We need more fearless cowboys like you around here
Blackthorn@programming.dev 5 months ago
I would fire you for incompetence and sabotage. Problem solved.
MeanEYE@lemmy.world 5 months ago
You lost me at “pair programming”. Having tests for what you can test is fine. But there’s code that simply can’t be tested, or at least not easily at which point you are just wasting time. Open source mantra is always great in my opinion… release early, release often. In addition to that have a test version of your software before you push it to production if there’s sensitive data. That’s usually good enough to catch issues.
And he’s right, reviewing changes before merge just takes time and resources away from project while the master branch keeps moving. Merge, if there are issues, whoever submitted the change is obliged to fix it. You can always checkout earlier version.
dbilitated@aussie.zone 5 months ago
I just made a github action that merges anything updated in master into feature branches automatically. you get pinged if there’s a conflict but the automerge keeps drift to a minimum so it’s less common and fixed sooner.
better than merging poorly tested/reviewed code.
and yeah, a small team of superstars doesn’t need reviews so much, but most teams have a range of devs with different levels of experience and time working with particular parts of a large codebase. Someone more senior or more expert derisks people picking up tickets and improves code quality.
it also leads to plenty of good conversations about the best way to implement, so overall it’s a win.
PepeLivesMatter@lemmy.today 5 months ago
Developers: “Move fast and break things.”
Things: break
Developers: surprised Pikachu face
Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 months ago
Except instead it’s: Developers: fuck ops, they stuck at their job
debil@lemmy.world 5 months ago
I dunno but xtreme programming sounds like something straight outta Musk’s wettest teenage day dreams.
Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
Imagine if you will, you have a red button and a green button. You are allowed 10 seconds to review the code before rejecting or accepting & merging. Think fast.
RageAgainstTheRich@lemmy.world 5 months ago
What in the shit is “xtreme programming”?
cypherix93@lemmy.world 5 months ago
it’s NewGame+ for when you 100% programming
KepBen@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Fuck you guys are getting progress??
MagicShel@programming.dev 5 months ago
I’ve been doing this for twenty five years and I’m nowhere near 100%. In fact I think my percent might be going down.
LiveLM@lemmy.zip 5 months ago
A real thing, believe it or not. Though I don’t think what that guy said fits in it.
T4V0@lemmy.pt 5 months ago
For a second, I thought they were talking about XGH (eXtreme Go Horse).
GoodEye8@lemm.ee 5 months ago
It’s when you write everything in l33t WITH CAPSLOCK ON.
e8d79@feddit.de 5 months ago
I guess that makes COBOL the most Xtreme programming language.
theneverfox@pawb.social 5 months ago
It’s agile based around rapid prototyping. You build a thing, then you do it again, but better
It’s not a new idea… But I’ve never heard of anyone doing it professionally
intensely_human@lemm.ee 5 months ago
If you’re working in a context where it’s okay to make mistakes so long as they get fixed later, you’re not working on anything important.
MJBrune@beehaw.org 5 months ago
Honestly that’s okay. That’s how most of the games industry works and you know what? I sleep very well knowing that none of my coffee is actively hurting people. I do likely have some coffee in some defense simulator from my work on squad but so be it. Overall I make toys. Works of art and as long as the bugs are caught it really doesn’t matter when we long as it’s before release. Even then you can just work at Bethesda and just never fix them no matter what.
fosforus@sopuli.xyz 5 months ago
That would certainly explain some things in the nodejs culture.
LiveLM@lemmy.zip 5 months ago
LinkedIn “influencers” are insufferable, dear god
xmunk@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
At my company we’re so agile that we directly deploy branches from developers’ local machines to customers for A/B testing.
TheFerrango@lemmy.basedcount.com 5 months ago
Call it “container orchestration” and charge an extra 20% to the customer
xmunk@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
As one of our most important customers, we’ve greenlit you for our cutting edge early access. Most people need to wait weeks for the features you get today!
Anders429@programming.dev 5 months ago
Bet you $50 we later learn this guy was orchestrating a supply chain attack.
nxdefiant@startrek.website 5 months ago
I help JavaScript engineers become framework A…
ssholes.
Nighed@sffa.community 5 months ago
Kinda acceptable if you have a slow release cadence. Everything needs to be reviewed and fixed/accepted (with defect/US raised) before production though.
Needs to be in a smaller team with decent Devs too though!
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 5 months ago
It’s insane to me that gitflow won over TBD and Continuous Integration to the point that this is now considered an extreme position. Not all projects are open source with many remote collaborators.
gatelike@feddit.de 5 months ago
this made my heart rate go up a little bit in a way that doesn’t feel good
DefinitelyNotAPhone@hexbear.net 5 months ago
Nothing improves morale like the on-call having to unfuck production for the third time that hour because mUh VeLoCiTy decided code review and testing in CI was too slow.
Techbros are fucking cultists.
buh@hexbear.net 5 months ago
What if instead of continuous integration we had continuous Disintegration, where you code while listening to The Cure on repeat
simple@lemm.ee 5 months ago
Having to go through the process of merging hurts morale and slows performance. Give everyone on your team the right to force push to master.
NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Yes, especially the newbies who don’t know what they’re doing.
SpeakinTelnet@programming.dev 5 months ago
Keep everyone awake and on their toes.
MeanEYE@lemmy.world 5 months ago
I honestly wouldn’t see this as a problem. But if you break something it’s up to you to fix it. But we also don’t do CI. We release features in batches after they have been tested and seen to be working.
eruchitanda@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Don’t hurt their morale!
EfreetSK@lemmy.world 5 months ago
I don’t know if sarcasm because there are actually maniacs like that in this world
BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 5 months ago
Oops boss just did a
git push --mirror