"Please place item in bagging area."
Fuck off already!
shut the hell up
Submitted 15 hours ago by deranger@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/c31c674f-d639-4e3a-8f47-743bc02a08f3.jpeg
Comments
Zier@fedia.io 7 hours ago
Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 14 hours ago
My computer’s startup beep gets a pass. That little noise is sooo reassuring to hear.
Broadfern@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Glorious POST. The only acceptable noise
wabasso@lemmy.ca 13 hours ago
I miss my floppy drive greeting me.
dwemthy@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
It’s praying to you in it’s own tongue, this is the way of righteous machines
arudesalad@piefed.ca 8 hours ago
They’re members of the adeptus organicus
can@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
You should record it.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
When it makes the tones you never hear, and RAM is ridiculously expensive.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 9 hours ago
The new “AI” of one of Czech providers is super annoying.
“Thank you for calling. To make sure it’s you, use your keypad to enter your numerical password.”
“You entered 123456 [they say it way too quickly but OK, I have a feature phone so no butter finger errors]. Is that correct?”
(At this point, you cannot proceed until you say “Yes”. Typing the number again (or anything else) will not help, you’d just hear “We couldn’t hear that. Can you try again? To make sure it’s you, use your keypad to enter your numerical password.”)
“Yes”
“Thank you for verification. Please tell us what your problem is-”
“Human”
“We couldn’t hear that. Can you try again?”
“Human”
“Are you sure you want to talk with our operator? The average wait time is 5 minutes.”
“Yes”
(2 minutes of awful music and nagging to press 1 to reconnect to the bot)
“I have a question about your ToS since your website is down. Also, I don’t ever want to speak to the bot again, can you bring the USSD text service or voice keypad menu back?”
sureshot0@discuss.online 8 hours ago
Holy shit! That’s not a new Czech thing, that is what every single business in the Untied States has. The pharmacy, the post office, the school, the corner store, the furnature store, the mall, the phone store, the store where they sell human souls, the taxi service, the bank. Everything has this robot voice. Welcome to hell.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 8 hours ago
They at least take care that their website is up-to-date and not a 502: Bad Gateway page, right?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
AquaTofana@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
This is how my husband is.
Then there’s me, a Detroit: Become Human enjoyer, and I give thanks to Fred, my off-brand roomba, when he does his job well.
CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Well fuck you too buddy, imma go ahead and talk to a fellow bot at the NSA and release your internet history. Not so divine now are ya.
then_three_more@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
I might consider using voice prompts on Google assistant if it wasn’t so terrible at understanding me. You’d think after over a decade and with all their resources Google could have made it better at understanding a British accent. It still gets about 1/5 words completely wrong.
FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 9 hours ago
Oh I think you forgot to activate the focus mode, it’s some thing like “hey listen up CIA! I know where the spy is hidden!” or something along those lines.
WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 9 hours ago
The thing never understood my local dialect and speaking to electronics like you’re speaking to the king in your most polished language is never gonna happen. It usually gets even worse with multiple languages. Ask the assistent in English to play a French song and be horrified what it actually comes up with. It might have improved, I haven’t tested this in quite some time, but I can’t be bothered with it.
blarghly@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
New kink unlocked
“Ugh, yes, call me a stupid clanker! Turn me off and back on again!”
BoosBeau@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Damn, my eyeballs were having a pretty good morning…
sundray@lemmus.org 13 hours ago
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
“Alexa, shut the fuck up, you have no right to speak in my holy tongue.”
While I’d like to think the response to that would be interesting, it probably isn’t. Anyone want to try?
can@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
I want to try any time I’m in a house with a “smart” speaker.
unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 9 hours ago
My mama is obsessed with her multi printer and I am going to make this spontaneously generate
33550336@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
This reminds me Dominatrix-submissive relation.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
None of my hardware talks to me. I also shut down the Christmas lights in my case, and on my mouse.
I haven’t come across a kiosk that talks yet, but I suppose it will happen any day now.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 8 hours ago
I don’t want them in my case,
I don’t want then on my mouse.(Reference to Ted Cruz’s awful poetry)
TootSweet@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
The mind of man is holy.
can@sh.itjust.works 14 hours ago
I instinctively reply to self checkouts politely but sarcastically. I hope our eventual overlords take it in good humour.
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
If it speaks it has a tongue. If it has a tongue, it can be cut out.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 8 hours ago
And get you arrested, screaming “I wasn’t trying to steal cash from the self-checkout machine, just rip its speaker wires!”
DaMummy@hilariouschaos.com 14 hours ago
Thank you
PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
I agree, just without the religious dogma… I’m a person, its a tool… I don’t need a tool tanking me and I don’t need to thank a tool. That’s it.