smuuthbrane

@smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I stopped to pick up a tooth from the middle of the road.⁩ ⁨⁨27⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago⁩:

  Better take it to the dentist, it’s got a cavity.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Squarrel⁩ ⁨⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  You can’t have squarrel without getting into quarrels.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's it like living in 2?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Looks expensive to live in, it’s all costal.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Still have a couple unsmacked gobs, though⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  This combobulates me.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Chomp!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  This is why you buy dentures at the thrift store.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I think this belongs here⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Puts the “explosive” in “explosive diarrhea”! 💥💩

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I think this belongs here⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s regular laxative but with industrial strength pop rocks in it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨shut the hell up⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  “Alexa, shut the fuck up, you have no right to speak in my holy tongue.”

  While I’d like to think the response to that would be interesting, it probably isn’t. Anyone want to try?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Please hold⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  You know the person that microwaves fish for lunch? This is the opposite.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can we put shitjustworks behind a captcha?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Will that fix all the timeout issues sh.itjust.works has had?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Stop posting badly 'shopped images.

  If that hand is actually holding that cat I’ll eat the Lego.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Yummy yummy, in my tummy⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Doesn’t mean they can’t be happy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Yummy yummy, in my tummy⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Have you ever seen an unhappy tractor? Because it didn’t get enough of this.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tips⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Or even just within them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  A crow looking at you intently, judging you.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Me too, ziploc bag. Me too.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  When anyone says “it gives you character” this is what they mean.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gojira needs more body positivity⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Elastigirl gets irradiated.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  …SO many questions…

  …that I will be keeping to myself.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What a great idea⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Well, that place sure ain’t fucking Costco, that’s for damned sure.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tender chicken⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I make a whiny, self-centered, vindictive son of a bitch lasagna, but it tastes good, just don’t bring up job searching or bicycle lanes and dinner won’t be weird.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨dating⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  PSA: “tyyy” - thanks, ya yella yutz.

  Such language. Tsk.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨sumn⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Damn, 8 CMEs at the same time, better unplug the TV

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨tryna get hella faded⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I thought you needed bleach to get faded.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Good night sweet prince⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s only getting good now. Time to put it in the will for the favourite child.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Such a dreamy guy⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Jexas is a damn fine dude.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Guys there's a message in my Apple Jacks!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Your carrot is sad.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Butter⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Damn, that’s some happy cereal. Maybe if I eat it I can consume the happiness for myself.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do you know he's...⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Elmo should do CrossFit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tonight... you⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “Look me in the eye if you have your plug in too.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Who dosent use turn signals under the sea?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOESN’T USE TURN SIGNALS UNDER THE SEA?

  SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!