smuuthbrane

@smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump Administration Announces That We Don’t Know Where the Sun Goes at Night | After deciding carbon dioxide does no harm, it was the logical next move.⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  1,000,000% tariff on Chinese sunlight.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is there anywhere I can share or give away my Google, Reddit, or Discord account?⁩ ⁨⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Just post your birthdate and SSN and they’ll be taken care of.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bean thinking of you, Lemmy⁩ ⁨⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  BEAN MY VALENTINE

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨eggs⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  I need a hug.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ISTANCORRECTED⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Hey, I’m unoriginal too!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Wtf⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Air gone. Air lock

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Use the garden hose like a civilized human being⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  If you can’t dunk them at the peak level after a flush, you don’t deserve clean balls.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ENSIGN JAMIE FOXX⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  An entire race that takes their dope so seriously they wear one all day every day.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I greased the trees⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, when it gets cold the trees shiver, and iguanas are too lazy to hold on tight so they slip and fall out.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨i mean⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ve just been stabilizing it in my bellybutton. I need to work on my flexibility.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pick wisely⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I want a BBR in me.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Start-up idea⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  There is an open source hardware movement underway already, I’m hoping they get to large appliances soon.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How does this thing work? (wrong answers only)⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  It doesn’t work. It’s an optical illusion, but is so compelling that yiu hallucinate feeling the air move.

  This was first used on gas stoves, which is where the term gaslighting came from.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My feelings on the Super Bowl⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  The competitive oral fanfic is what really gets me.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨"Hey babe"⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Ravishing, radishing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why limit yourself?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  HOW did I miss that? I am shamed.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Love it when they're dark and bulbous⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Shh, don’t wreck the vibe.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Forget your astral sign, which Muppet do you want to be?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Gonzo. Weird little fuck that does anything he damned well pleases, loves who he loves, can be counted on, and is a friend to all.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why limit yourself?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m waiting for them to get into brewing so I can crush GatorAle at my next tailgate.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why limit yourself?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Absinthe, please. Do you have sugar cubes?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If my meal isn't 5 different colors, what's even the point?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Whoa, whoa now, I’m still stuck on corn.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Love it when they're dark and bulbous⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  True story, a friend and I were screwing around on Reddit joking about “beet porn” so we made a subreddit and started posting beets. I can honestly say that i was a subreddit moderator.

  It might still be there.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Form over function⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Fool, bleach belongs in the coolant.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Form over function⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Go watch a few engine tear downs by I Do Cars, that will answer all questions, remove all doubts.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Form over function⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Don’t do this.

  You’re supposed to season pistons and rods like you would a cast iron fry pan. I like to use a combination of canola and beef tallow, but a 5W20 works in a pinch.

  Remember kids, a happy piston is a varnished piston. Keep those oil rings in place, make sure they’re good and solid!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Your teenager AND your husband⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Ooh, I like that, “hyperpalatable”.

  “Egregious” is also good, but I knew that one.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Your teenager AND your husband⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Cereal is the most delicious thing in the universe that doesn’t require anything more than pouring two things into a bowl. No peeling, heating, mixing, blending, layering, etc. Two things, in a bowl, and you don’t use goes back in the place it came from.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is this Boss Baby's troubled cousin?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Man, I had no idea the Terrible Twos could be permanent.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I used to think I didn't have a single paternal bone in my body⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, but we still don’t know why you buy off and ate his pinky finger.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨me n the homes not crossing streams cuz were not gay⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  They’re chugging water because it’s a 3 way ladder elimination event. If you make it through you’d best have enough piss for the next round.