You just couldn't be satisfied with slow and easy

Comments

• Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Your orifice is of superior strength. What do you have to fear from a mere mortal?

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• expatriado@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  time to place a poster and start watching drywall repair diy videos

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  • khepri@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Good luck, that shit is lathe-and-plaster not drywall haha

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  • spicytuna62@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’ve got just the poster. Nobody will ever suspect there’s a hole back there.

    Image

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  • bravesilvernest@lemmy.ml ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Looks more like plaster, so you’ll have a bit more time to watch how to patch 🫠

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  • roguetrick@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That’s lathe and plaster baby. Get good at finishing work if you ever want it to look right.

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  • stupidcasey@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Image

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• umbrella@lemmy.ml ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  why do usians make their walls out of styrofoam?

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  • khepri@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    This is a lathe-and-plaster wall from before the invention of drywall, it’s actually strong af

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Why do Japanese make theirs out of paper?

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    • umbrella@lemmy.ml ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      my country is poor and we make houses out of brick, because a dildo won’t break it.

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    • gmtom@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Modern Japanese houses aren’t made of paper

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• MrNesser@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  That’s one hell of a grip and I don’t mean her hands

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• Leather@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Just say “Mom, as the prophecy foretold… It has happened!”

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• Passerby6497@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Text post that mentions being fucked in the ass? Gotta mark that as NSFW

  Photo of dildo balls? No need for that NSFW tag my man

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  • HowAbt2day@futurology.today ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Wait, thats a dildo? I thought it was the the arm of the hulk hogan runner wrestling doll.

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    • Passerby6497@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Oh shit, I totally forgot about the Hulk Hogan Super Action Suction Grip doll, my bad

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• BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Shawshank it, and put a poster over it. She’ll find it when you make your escape after college.

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• sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You might be able to tell them you were stupidly jumping on your bed, like a child, and fell into the wall.

  Depending on what your parents think of you, this may actually work.

  This working also depends on whether or not your parents can tell the difference between an ‘exit wound’ and an ‘entry’ wound on wall damage, so maybe doctor the scene a little, or, maybe your parents are morons / know nothing about residential construction.

  (Probably hide the dildo).

  One thing you could try is to just actually jump on the bed, fall into the existing hole, re-damaging it more in line with, you know, impact damage…

  Do that while they’re home, so they hear it, and then just be completely honest and explain your mistake, while also being somewhat injured.

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  • Obi@sopuli.xyz ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I like the cut of your jib, thinking creatively and logically, providing some solid solutions that might actually work.

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    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Perks of growing up with control freak narcissist parents: You learn how to lie well, when necessary.

      Downside: CPTSD, fundamental inability to really trust anyone, ever.

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• fonix232@fedia.io ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  dem lips do be indeed grippy

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  • T00l_shed@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Might not be lips lol

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      the muscle tissue that makes your lips work are the same kind that makes your sphincter work.

      so you could say that when you fart you’re talking out your ass, or when you shit you’re talking shit.

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• DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  That’s where you hang your favorite poster until you move out.

  Either that, or tell her the truth, she’ll understand.

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  • Gonzako@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You’d also make sure to start digging a tunnel through that so you can finally move out.

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• Sonor@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Breaking the fourth wall

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• Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Tell her you fucked up…err…sideways

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• HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Ever seen The Shawshank Redemption?

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• BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Mom, the wall tried to RAPE me!

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