Submitted 4 days ago by DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
My mother is literally worse than my father, buy of course movies and tv shows lobe their cliches and never show reality for what it is.
Also wtf is the “Abused child forgive abusive parent and reunite happily ever after” trope, fuck that shit. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness.
I hate writer jesus christ ffs.
It is represented in media, see the film Mommy Dearest. Even in the Wizard of Oz the woman is the abuser. The series The Terror streaming now, woman the abuser. Fatal Attraction, Cruella, Misery, Carrie, etc.
Ok. You named a handful of examples. I’m sure there’s a handfull more.
But I could literally reach the character limit if I attempted to show all the examples of men in media being the abuser.
So you aren’t wrong per se. But you are still missing the point.
OP said “always” and “never.” So I’m not really sure what the purpose of this discussion is beyond refuting those superlatives. Is the idea that there needs to be more physically abusive women in fiction? Or fewer men? What is the ideal?
I’ve seen plenty of abusive mothers on tv. But they aren’t physical in their abuse.
But have a look at “Precious” if you want to be triggered.
And then have a look at the making of “Precious,” if you want to be furious at Oprah and Tyler Perry.
Not really answering the question but if you’re looking for movies with an abusive mom, there are more than a few! (especially horror.) Off the top of my head:
Carrie is the classic, hereditary is a new classic. Braindead (dead alive) is a classic splatter horror.
Non horror: I Tonya, black swan, Mommie Dearest, Precious, Beau is afraid, Wild at Heart and maybe 8 mile?
Carrie reminded me of Misery. She’s not his mom, but she’s definitely abusive.
You hit some of the first that came to mind. I'd also include Terms of Endearment, I'll Cry Tomorrow, Postcards From the Edge... do Snow White and Cinderella count?
Yeah, I think the underlying message in a lot of disney is you’re better off with a dead mom than a live one.
We Need to Talk About Kevin comes to mind.
FWIW, in fairy tales the mother is the bad parent more often than not.
The stepmother, as the mother is usually dead.
I just watched a episode of Buffy Vampire slayer with the abusive witch mother.
Plenty abusive mothers portrayed on all media.
Have you read Carrie?
Never heard of Mommy Dearest?
Not till now
Watch Carrie
If you really want to see fucked up, watch Sybil
Carrie, precious, tangled, mommie dearest, black swan, ghosts (US), Strange New Worlds, Sopranos, Bojack Horseman, plenty of movies and shows with abusive mothers
Along with all the other examples listed here:
The Bear
Also wtf is the "Abused child forgive abusive parent and reunite happily ever after" trope, fuck that shit. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness.
No, but depending on circumstances and the work the abuser is willing to put into changing themself and making things as right as they can, forgiveness can be earned.
I totally agree the forgiveness and happy ever after is bullshit. It’s also dangerous, giving people false hope and putting them at risk. Statistically, the murder rate alone shows women are more at risk from abusive men than vice versa. Although women are more likely to be primary caregivers, increasing access to the child
Boy, you’ve obviously never seen Precious (2009)
Malcom in the middle did it
Sopranos, she literally tries to kill him.
Both of my parents were abusive in their own special way.
A few examples that came to mind that others didn’t list:
Psycho and its reboot or whatever. Possibly THE example.
Mindhunter definitely touches on abusive mothers.
And I don’t want to spoil it, but dear God watch The Bear and prepare to be fucking broken.
Idk disney kinda does this sometimes but usally with adootive/step mothers
I wouldn't say never and when they are people have harder time noticing because it requires pretty high emotional intelligence to understand that shit ain't right.
Woman's abuse just looks different. It is verbal and behavioral generally speaking. Woman can say something to the child and nobody in the room will notice. The kid sure knew what's up tho.
Have you ever heard of Marisa Coulter from His Dark Materials? Just to add to all the other examples people have given
Alpha from The Walking Dead.
Animal Kingdom has an abusive mother. Pretty good criminal series. Reminded me of Sons of Anarchy.
Yeah, there’s a reason my 28 years old son still talks to me and not his mother.
Because women are wonderful. Look it up.
Like Marine Le Pen? Park Geun-hye? Marjorie Taylor Greene? Lauren Bobert?
lol don’t Anna Paulina Luna
Betty Davis in The Little Foxes
So reality is only your lived experience, not that of others?
Strange to make a gender distinction here. I know people love their categories, but I'm curious to know how your outlook focused on gender rather than other characteristics like race or nationality
IWW4@lemmy.zip 4 days ago
I think the sexual stereotypes are is that men hit And women tend to abuse through mental anguish.
Mental anguish is harder to portray on a screen than someone beating the fuck out of you.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 4 days ago
And when it is portrayed, it’s not as easy to notice. If Everybody Loves Raymond’s Dad started punching his daughter in law everybody would call that abuse, but there are still some people who don’t realize how abusive Ray’s mom actually was.
IWW4@lemmy.zip 4 days ago
Absolutely!