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I am against them in general. At your age? To me borders in insanity. Might me the unpopular opinion here but yes, I wouldn’t do it.
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Submitted 1 month ago by peachgelato@lemmy.zip to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
WaffleWarrior@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
occultist8128@infosec.pub 1 month ago
Sometimes I feel a bit off when unpopular opinions get heavily downvoted. I mean, can we keep the comments diverse? I might disagree with someone, but I won’t downvote them just so their opinion doesn’t get buried.
Zannsolo@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I didn’t want kids til I met my wife when I was 38. I knew she was the one pretty early on and I knew that if I wanted to to keep dating her I’d have to reconsider my position. I had my first kid at 40 and my 2nd is on the way, and being a father is awesome.
I ended a 5 1/2 year relationship because I didn’t want kids with her. The partner you’re with definitely matters.
Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I’m going to dodge the question entirely but I’ll pass along this fact as told to me by a urologist/surgeon:
After ten years, the chances of a successful reversal surgery drop by about 50%.
Also, consider writing down a list of pros and cons and see which column ends up longer.
Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
Hell nah lmao I got surgically sterilised at 22 (had most of my reproductive system cut out), and while my attitudes towards children have softened since then it's still the best decision I ever made.
daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
Unless you have a stable partner there’s no much point on a vasectomy. You will need to use a condom regardless.
I would wait until there’s a strong reason for getting it. Most people wait until they have a stable partner they want to have unprotected sex with.
hperrin@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
My sister never wanted kids until she was about 35. So, it can happen.
But vasectomies are often reversible, so if you really want it, I don’t think you should let that idea stop you.
horse@feddit.org 1 month ago
You’re an adult and it’s your body, if you want a vasectomy, get a vasectomy.
That being said, I was 100% I didn’t want kids when I was your age. Now I’m 37 and trying to have kids. Obviously that doesn’t mean you’ll change your mind, but it can happen.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Nope
Godric@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Yeah dude, that’s very young, you must be tapping everything that moves if a vasectomy sounds better than wearing a condom
hanrahan@slrpnk.net 1 month ago
Had mine at 20, am nkw.59, no regrets.
MTK@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Imo, if you are not in a hurry, wait a bit.
I knew I wanted one since about your age, I waited about 4 years until I realized that nothing is changing and I went ahead.
But I’m glad I waited because I now feel very at peace with it and I don’t feel the need to explain it to others.
When my family said that I will change my mind I just ignored them because it felt so meaningless when I already know I wanted this for so many years.
Just remember that it is mostly permanent, there is no guarantee that you can reverse it.
Good luck!
ReiRose@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I never wanted kids. I have one now im 40, and no regrets there, but the fact they’re my biological child is bc my husband really wanted that. I would’ve been fine with adopting.
Consider you meet an amazing woman who really wants kids, and her her you’ll do it, would you be OK with adopting? Or may e she wants to experience pregnancy, would you be ok with a sperms donor? You may find someone you really want to have kids with, in which case you may have to do a reversal. Ask the dr about all the options.
Chances are you won’t change your mind, but you might, life is a funny thing. Have a plan and maybe even write a letter to your future self. What’s your reasoning?
Your body your choice but this is a big decision, so think it through
Serinus@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Is your life likely to change significantly in the next five years? Most people go through fairly big changes in their 20s. How will your future significant other feel about it? Do you care, or is it a deal breaker?
unmagical@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
My family always told me that I’d grow more conservative and want a family of my own as I grow older.
As I aged I went from ambivalence toward politics and kids to decidedly anti-conservative and anti-kid.
You know your own feelings on the matter more than your family does, and letting your family dictate how you live your life will lead to resentment and misery.
FanciestPants@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Anecdotally, I feel like im a pretty different person than I was when I was 22. Had first kid at 34, and am now 42.
Analytically, I can’t know for sure if I would have significantly different feelings (e.g. regret, relief, etc.) if I had made different decisions. I recognize that the world is different now for 22 year olds compared to when I was 22. If “regret” avoidance is the main objective, then I’d guess that you could make a better assessment of potential outcomes (your possible feelings of regret) than your family as long as you’ve considered all of those outcome scenarios.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 month ago
that is very young, are you rawdogging all the time, or having lots of sex.
Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
I had friends 40 years ago in their early 20s that were adamant that they never wanted kids. Some of them stayed that way and are going into retirement childless and most of them are happy with their decision. A few aren’t but can’t do anything about it. The others discovered, that with with right person, they did want kids and are just as happy. Hard to say which you will be. I know a few young women banking eggs in case they change their mind 10+ years from now and want to have biological children. Can you bank sperm to hedge your bet?
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 month ago
sperm bank probably? but it will be stranger, i dont know how it works if you wan to keep it in storage.
UnpledgedCatnapTipper@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
It’s your body and your life, do what you feel is right for yourself. If you’re fully aware of the risks and consequences, and you feel it is the right thing for you, then you should do it. Bodily autonomy is important, and personal medical decisions are between you and your doctor.
PennyRoyal@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
One of my mates got his plums snipped in his 20s, still doesn’t regret it. Another of my mates spent his whole life saying he wasn’t going to have kids, and seriously considered the snip, but was grateful he didn’t when he met the now mother of his kids in his mid 40s. Life’s weird, and only (and sometimes not even) you can really know your own mind
pHr34kY@lemmy.world 1 month ago
The doc questiones why I wanted a vasectomy at 30, which he thought was young.
“I have 3 kids already.”
That’s all it took to convince him.
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 month ago
This is why you shouldn’t tell them.
None of their damn business.
In any case. It sounds like you’ve thought it through and it’s not an impulsive thing. So no. It’s not “too early.”
(And in any case it’s usually reversible, of you do. Expensive and more invasive than the original procedure, and it’s not always certain. But the potential is there.)
Twinklebreeze@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I didn’t want kids until I was late 20’s. You might be different, but biology could hit you hard. I just had a vasectomy ~2 mos. ago and my second kid is due around thanksgiving. You do you, but be prepared for biology to disappoint you potentially.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I decided I didn’t want kids at puberty, and many decades later I haven’t reconsidered. I probably wouldn’t have regretted it but also I’m gay and don’t need it.
Alsjemenou@lemy.nl 1 month ago
I got mine after having a stable relationship and a partner without a child wish.
i knew from a very young age i didnt want kids, and have always picked partners that shared my view. I also knew that I would make a great dad if it ever came to it. So i never got the snip until i was 39.
I don’t think I would have mind if I did it earlier, but it’s also not as necessary as you think. If you pick your partners carefully and be open about your wishes. This shouldn’t be a real issue. If you are having fantasies about fucking around a lot, you should wear protection anyway. And as a matter of fact, not being snipped will help to wear that shit.
I want to mention lastly, please don’t get into a deep lasting relationship with a person who has a child wish. It will end badly.
scrion@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I’ve had a vasectomy. Give it a few years, 22 might be a bit young.
the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 1 month ago
If you are sure you never want kids then there is no reason why you shouldn’t get a vasectomy. Personally I wanted nothing to do with children until my 30’s and then I started to wonder if maybe having one might not be so bad.
I had my one and I can confidently say I am for sure done. I love my little monster with all my soul but there is no way I could handle 2 or more.
I totally get why you would want to make sure you never have any so if thats the decision for yoou then go for it. plus If you ever change your mind you can always adopt. I can tell you from first hand experience there are 1000"s of kid out there who need a loving home and not a whole lot of “loving” homes to take them.
pugsnroses77@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
i got my tubes tied and the option of adopting played a huge role. I cannot stand the idea of pregnancy, thats why I wanted my own tubes tied, rather than my partner having a vasectomy, that way I am in control. But I don’t hate kids, and I’m not entirely against the idea of adopting a kid down the road. Especially one thats a little older, I’m also not too fond of babies lmao
bassgirl09@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I think you are making the right decision for you. I have watched a lot of people struggle after having children they did not plan for. If you know you are not and likely will never be interested in having children, getting a vasectomy is right for you.
That being said, if things change down the road, you can always foster, adopt, or attempt to have the vasectomy reversed – the last option is not guaranteed though.
fartsparkles@lemmy.world 1 month ago
My partner and I both came to our own conclusion that we didn’t want kids and felt the same way through multiple different relationships. But when we got together, things were different.
We’re still not 100% but we both agree that we want to talk about it more as, together, we found we actually have the desire growing within us now.
I cannot speak for you OP - you are your own person. I can only share my personal perspective which is that 22 year old me and today me are very very different people. I wouldn’t forgive my past self if I’d taken away my future self’s agency.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Just do it. (Nike).
BurgerBaron@piefed.social 1 month ago
You know yourself better than us and I don't kbow your reasoning behind that "it's just not my thing" so I can't tell you either way.
I've never wanted kids and wish I had gotten a vasectomy earlier than 28. I'm 35 now. Looking at the world, I can't say it's done anything but constantly reaffirm the same conculsions I've drawn since I started thinking about sterilizing myself at 16.
I never changed my mind because my reasons weren't shallow. More of a reaction to my environment and the nightmare nature of reality most refuse to acknowledge, choosing delusions and unevidenced beliefs instead.
peachgelato@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
37piecesof_flare@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I share the sentiment and have always felt the same way since I started thinking about it (even as a kid myself). The idea of having kids never appealed to me, I don’t like being around them, never have, still don’t at 35. I have a handful of nephews/nieces now and still don’t enjoy hanging around them even for short bursts of time… I don’t have the patience for the screaming, crying, breaking shit, tantrums, messes, etc.
It’s a 24/7 job for at least the next 20 years if you go through with it.
BurgerBaron@piefed.social 1 month ago
Hmm okay, in this case I think there's a high chance your preferences could change as you age.