Submitted 7 months ago by peachgelato@lemmy.zip to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
YOUR body, YOUR choice!
If you think that you’ll regret it later on, you can always make a deposit to a sperm bank. These days, I highly doubt it’s covered by insurance. Also, you need to do some research (and a lot of phone calls/emails); some places are so damn strict that you need an appointment just to get info.
A friend did that before, he has no regrets. Good luck, young lemming!
At 22 I thought I had it all figured out.
Now coming up on 32 I look back and think geeze what a dumb arse I was at times.
I’m sure when I’m 42 I’ll think I was dumb now, but a lot had maturing happened for me during my 20s. I would hold off until 30s at least
As a 48 year old expecting his first child, I can confirm that you will always look back and think this and I’m certain I will again in the future.
OP, don’t rush to make these decisions even if there is a good chance that you won’t change your mind. There are medicines that are very close (or maybe available now?) that will achieve some of the same benefits without surgery. There might be a smarter choice for you if you take your time with this decision.
Congratulations on the child, I just found out this morning I’m having a son also my first child.
Unless you have a stable partner there’s no much point on a vasectomy. You will need to use a condom regardless.
I would wait until there’s a strong reason for getting it. Most people wait until they have a stable partner they want to have unprotected sex with.
Yo, I had a vasectomy at 31, but then loads of stuff happened and at 33 I met my now wife… and spent $12,000 australian reversing the vasectomy… I was CERTAIN I didn’t want kids.
Just a thought…
That said, I still don’t regret having the vasectomy. I do regret the money lost.
It’s your body and your life, do what you feel is right for yourself. If you’re fully aware of the risks and consequences, and you feel it is the right thing for you, then you should do it. Bodily autonomy is important, and personal medical decisions are between you and your doctor.
I’d argue it’s too young, purely from a neurological development point of view.
Your prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until your mid to late 20’s. That’s what gives you the ability to evaluate future consequences of your actions.
I have kids and wanted them when I had them in my early 30s. I did not feel that want at 22. But neither did I think “I never want kids.”
A lot of people’s view on this eventually crystallizes based on who they choose to spend their life with. You could meet someone who changes you and changes your view and who definitely wants kids and with whom you feel good about doing it. You could change your mind and that’s what it would look like if you did.
I have had a vasectomy and when you do it you’re supposed to tell them if you have any chance of ever changing your mind. If I were you I’d answer yes to that.
There’s no guarantee a vasectomy can ever be reversed. However they can perform the procedure in a way that leaves as much of your tubes as possible in the event that you might someday want to reconnect them. In my experience they will also make damn sure you know that there’s no guarantee. However though people lean hard on emphasizing that lack of guarantee, the fact is that many vasectomies are successfully reversed, so it is possible.
I decided I didn’t want kids at puberty, and many decades later I haven’t reconsidered. I probably wouldn’t have regretted it but also I’m gay and don’t need it.
A friend of mine did it in college, and that was decades ago. Instead of snipping him they put in some kind of little valves that could be turned back on. Later in life he married and had kids, so apparently it works.
Do it, but freeze a sample just in case. I didn’t think I wanted any more after I had my first two, but now I do want another one and the doctor said a reversal is pretty much paying $8k to flip a coin. If you die with your sample still on ice, who cares? At least you had the option.
This isn’t a substitute for not wearing a condom.
I got mine after having a stable relationship and a partner without a child wish.
i knew from a very young age i didnt want kids, and have always picked partners that shared my view. I also knew that I would make a great dad if it ever came to it. So i never got the snip until i was 39.
I don’t think I would have mind if I did it earlier, but it’s also not as necessary as you think. If you pick your partners carefully and be open about your wishes. This shouldn’t be a real issue. If you are having fantasies about fucking around a lot, you should wear protection anyway. And as a matter of fact, not being snipped will help to wear that shit.
I want to mention lastly, please don’t get into a deep lasting relationship with a person who has a child wish. It will end badly.
Not at all. I would have had it done at 18 in hindsight, but did it in my later 20s. It was bar none the best $50 I’ve ever spent. I’ve known my entire life that I didn’t want to be a parent, and for me that feeling only compounded as I got older. Couple that with the current world situation and local political climate and uncertainty, and it reaffirms my choice.
Technically it is reversible, but I would consider a permanent fix. Regardless, wrap your dick because vasectomies don’t block STDs.
I’ve had a vasectomy. Give it a few years, 22 might be a bit young.
I had my daughter at 38. Everyone’s journey is different. I never wanted kids; the idea scared me, up until my daughter was born. I would not trade her for anything. I’d gladly kill for her. I’d gladly die for her. The greatest joy I have ever known.
Your genes, your decision if you want to retain the capacity to spread them or not.
Vasectmies are reversible, so the objections youre facing are irrelevant.
No, they’re not always reversible. You can opt for one that isn’t, and even if you decide to go for it, it might simply not work.
Correct me if I’m wrong. But your testicles will still produce valid material don’t they? That could be extracted and used for artificial insemination if needed, I think.
You can also die from a knee replacement.
As it turns out, that’s not the typical outcome, so people still get knee replacements, despite the non-zero chance of death during the procedure.
Vasectmites
*Viltremites entered the chat *
OH NO
Yeah 22 is probably a little young. Just wrap that willy bro
At 22 I didn’t want kids. At 32 I have a kid without regrets. Prior to getting a long-term partner with the same mindset I think it is a bit much unless something or someone has scared you about “baby trapping”.
Vasectomy reversal can usually be done but isn’t always effective.
My sister never wanted kids until she was about 35. So, it can happen.
But vasectomies are often reversible, so if you really want it, I don’t think you should let that idea stop you.
Not too young. If you change your mind about wanting kids, adopt. But you probably won’t change your mind.
I got a vasectomy at 25. I wanted one ever since I was 17. It’s now 3.5 years after the procedure and I’m very happy with it. People always fear monger over wHaT iF yOu cHaNgE yOuR mInD. And sure I guess that’s something that could happen. But as another commenter said, it’s a reversible procedure with a high success rate. Adoption is also a possibility. If that doesn’t work for whatever reason then you could always ask a family member to donate sperm so it’s still genetically close to you if that’s important. I’ve never regretted my decision but I did also go into that decision aware of my alternatives if for some reason a reversal didn’t work.
It’s so condescending when people do that. They don’t know you yet make generalized assumptions. If you never wanted kids you won’t want them - the responsibility won’t decrease, the cost won’t decrease, you won’t have more time to spend with them to parent them. Nothing will change.
That’s not really true. There are plenty of people who reverse their stance on having kids as they get older.
Not that it’s a strong reason to not get a vasectomy, but it’s absolutely not true that people’s minds never change on the subject.
When the world was on the up and up, some people were doing that. Now fewer and fewer people have kids - even those who want them.
One of my mates got his plums snipped in his 20s, still doesn’t regret it. Another of my mates spent his whole life saying he wasn’t going to have kids, and seriously considered the snip, but was grateful he didn’t when he met the now mother of his kids in his mid 40s. Life’s weird, and only (and sometimes not even) you can really know your own mind
Vasectomies are reversible.
First of all, vasectomy can be reversed.
Second, if you’re concerned about future procreation, freeze some of your sperm.
Not too young. People will tell you you will regret it, but they aren’t you. Maybe you will, but regretting a child you don’t want and cant care for is worse.
This is the better path today.
Just wanted to share that it’s possible that RISUG or Vasalgel (I think they rebranded as PlanA) will become available this decade. Look into it and see if that works for your needs (no idea how active you are). I’ve got kids that I’m hoping will never have to worry about a surprise (funny enough they are the very first planned offspring on either side of our families).
Best of luck to anyone facing this choice at any age.
I do think 22 is indeed too young and that you should revisit this when you get to your thirties.
Your family believing you will change or mind is irrelevant. Your life and identity is still likely to evolve significantly in the next decade or so, regardless of your current marital situation and current state of mind.
Delphia@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Your life, your body, your choice and all.
But if you dont have a legit medical reason that having children would be ill advised I wouldnt do it. I never wanted kids, I hated kids. But people change, had one at 35 and another on the way at 40…
21yo me absolutely should not have had kids, I would have been a fucking terrible parent and I’m glad i didnt.