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Comments

• fartsparkles@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  My partner and I both came to our own conclusion that we didn’t want kids and felt the same way through multiple different relationships. But when we got together, things were different.

  We’re still not 100% but we both agree that we want to talk about it more as, together, we found we actually have the desire growing within us now.

  I cannot speak for you OP - you are your own person. I can only share my personal perspective which is that 22 year old me and today me are very very different people. I wouldn’t forgive my past self if I’d taken away my future self’s agency.

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• pfr@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Just find a woman that swallows dude. Don’t neuter yourself just yet. Also the pill is very effective these days, and a chemical abortion is also cheap and less invasive than a vasectomy. And if your smart and in a long term relationship you can track your partners ovulation and raw dog some of the time.

  What I’m saying is, there are other options. Your also presuming that all the women you fuck will be ok with no condom. Women care about std’s too so you might find yourself needing to wear a rubber anyway. That would be ironic.

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• MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Just do it. (Nike).

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• 0x01@lemmy.ml ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You can, after a vasectomy, directly draw swimmers using relatively expensive but available procedures. If you desperately urgently want progeny after making the decision you don’t need to reverse it to have children. It would require in vitro.

  Search for “SSR and IVF”

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• razorcandy@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If you feel highly confident that you don’t want children now or in the future, that is reason enough to have a vasectomy. You have the option of freezing your sperm too in case you have doubts but still want to go through with the procedure now.

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• greedytacothief@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Damn, that’s a hard choice. I don’t really want kids either, but sometimes the hormones hit hard. Definitely get your sperm frozen at least.

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• wildcardology@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Do it, vasectomy is reversible if you ever change your mind.

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  • Nollij@sopuli.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    This is terrible advice. Ask any urologist and they will tell you the same. OP, ask YOUR urologist about it.

    Vasectomies can, in some circumstances, be reversed. You should not plan on yours being one of them. You should plan on it being permanent and reversible.

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    • Apepollo11@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Very much this.

      Remember, it’s an “ectomy” - they remove a beansprout-sized chunk of your vas deferens. You will be left missing a fairly big piece of the plumbing - it’s not just a simple connect/disconnect thing.

      If you do choose to have it done and you’re the curious type, they’ll actually let you watch if you ask.

      Also, stock up on ibuprofen!

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• jordanlund@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  22 is too young to get a tattoo much less a vasectomy.

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  • amino@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    you must be trolling or you’re just a puritan

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    • jordanlund@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Your brain doesn’t stop maturing until you’re 25.

      pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3621648/

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• neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Not too young. People will tell you you will regret it, but they aren’t you. Maybe you will, but regretting a child you don’t want and cant care for is worse.

  This is the better path today.

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• nimpnin@sopuli.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Same question as, is 22 too young to have kids. Both are non-reversible and have consequences for the rest of your life.

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• IWW4@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I will go against the grain here.

  22 is way to young to make any “permanent” decisions.

  Unfortunately that is he age when many have kids so…

  If you do decide to, there is also an out.

  You can have sperm frozen.

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• StrixUralensis@tarte.nuage-libre.fr ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Get your sperm frozen

  Best of both worlds

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• meco03211@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  A lot of people in here saying don’t do it because you might change your mind. They never seem to apply that logic the other direction. There’s lots of parents out there that had kids and only then realized they didn’t want the whole deal. And worse for them, society has driven a nauseating culture of parental worship and idolatry. It makes it impossible to come to grips with that realization. Parents are supposed to unconditionally love and champion their child and constantly profess how thankful they are and how gratifying the whole endeavor is. And that’s just with a “normal” child. If you have a kid with a disability or some kind of handicap that makes parenting exponentially harder you still need to profess your thankfulness! You aren’t allowed to not want to be a parent then. That ship has sailed. Anything less than abject subjugation to the identity of being a parent is condemned.

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  • amino@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    if you don’t want a child with disabilities, then just don’t have children. are you gonna dump your baby in a dumpster if they get long covid?

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• Pringles@sopuli.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I’m kind of with your family on this one, but if you are going through with it I would just verify with the doctor performing the procedure whether it can be reversed in case you change your mind later on.

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  • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Reversal procedures are effective in only about 30% of attempts. Every doctor will tell you that you shouldn’t do it if you’re not sure.

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• Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  22 is too young. From a purely clinical point of view your brain isn’t done maturing and you haven’t hit the prime years of your life.

  But there is no option in the US for male birth control and there is a chance that the vasectomy can be reverse, so do what you think you need t so. It’s not a chance I would take though.

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• zxqwas@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  When I was 20 they told me that I’d change my mind about kids when I’m older.

  I’m still waiting to get older.

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• suodrazah@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Is freezing some guys an option just in case? Or have I watched to many movies?

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  • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The vasectomies are usually reversible. It’s not a non issue as it’s usually expensive and not covered by insurance, and it’s not 100% every case, but it can be done.

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• Schlemmy@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  It’s reversible

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  • camelbeard@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Meh, it’s definitely not 100% chance of success. Every year that passes reduces the chance of a succes to reverse it. Also there is always a risk for other complications like ending up with erectile dysfunction, the chance is really small, but I wouldn’t take it too lightly. Mine also hurt like hell for a week and everything was purple blue. I’m probably the exception, but I definitely don’t want to do it a second time.

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  • tomjuggler@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    A friend who had it reversed said that the reverse op was extremely painful (Vs the vasectomy which apparently was painless)

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    • camelbeard@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      This is what everyone I know that had one told me. The operation was not that bad, maybe a 5/10 on pain. The days after my ballsack was getting really purple blue and parts of my penis also. After about a week I went to a doctor to make sure this was “normal”, he said everything looked ok, but I’m just unlucky as for most guys it is almost painless. About 10 days after things got better in a couple of days.

      I don’t want to scare anyone but going in thinking it will not hurt is not for everyone. For me thinking it shouldn’t hurt (while it did) made me worry much more, thinking they might have messed something up.

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• Rivalarrival@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  While it’s not guaranteed, chances are very good that it can be reversed. If you change your mind later, you can attempt to reverse it.

  Nobody should be having kids before the age of 30 anyway.

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  • burrito@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Insurance won’t cover a reversal. It will be 100% out of pocket.

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    • Rivalarrival@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      $5000-$15,000. If you can’t afford a vasectomy reversal, you can’t afford kids.

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• Muscle_Meteor@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I would ask what problem you are trying to solve.

  It doesnt sound like youre in a long term relationship as you dont mention a partner, and i figure that youre straight or leaning that way as this wouldnt be an issue otherwise.

  So likely you will be meeting women, and having sex, in which case you should be using protection anyways.

  A woopsie baby certainly wouldnt be fun, but as long as you’re in the developed parts of the world (not including most of the US) there are other means of birth control (his and hers) that still leaves you the option without making a permanent decision right now.

  Im also hoping that the surgery is free or covered by something otherwise it might end up being a very pointless expense.

  Im 33, i never even thought about kids at 22. I dont have any and im pretty meh on it but id never have made a decision like that when i was your age. Things change.

  Hope this helps.

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• scarabic@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I have kids and wanted them when I had them in my early 30s. I did not feel that want at 22. But neither did I think “I never want kids.”

  A lot of people’s view on this eventually crystallizes based on who they choose to spend their life with. You could meet someone who changes you and changes your view and who definitely wants kids and with whom you feel good about doing it. You could change your mind and that’s what it would look like if you did.

  I have had a vasectomy and when you do it you’re supposed to tell them if you have any chance of ever changing your mind. If I were you I’d answer yes to that.

  There’s no guarantee a vasectomy can ever be reversed. However they can perform the procedure in a way that leaves as much of your tubes as possible in the event that you might someday want to reconnect them. In my experience they will also make damn sure you know that there’s no guarantee. However though people lean hard on emphasizing that lack of guarantee, the fact is that many vasectomies are successfully reversed, so it is possible.

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• LovableSidekick@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  A friend of mine did it in college, and that was decades ago. Instead of snipping him they put in some kind of little valves that could be turned back on. Later in life he married and had kids, so apparently it works.

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• HubertManne@piefed.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Vasectomies are reversible.

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• floo@retrolemmy.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  First of all, vasectomy can be reversed.

  Second, if you’re concerned about future procreation, freeze some of your sperm.

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• Technikus5@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  As someone who recently got a vasectomy at 27, I know how you’re feeling. I also never wanted kids, and have thought about getting a vasectomy from the moment it became legal for me. I still decided against it in the beginning, simply because condoms are easy and available, and I never really slept around too much. Then I met my partner, we talked about kids, and we both decided that we don’t want them, ever. So I had my vasectomy, and was recently cleared as sterile.

  For me this was the perfect solution, as I never felt like I was rushing into something, I didn’t have to worry about what my partner would think, or if there might be a change in the future.

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• aceshigh@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  It’s so condescending when people do that. They don’t know you yet make generalized assumptions. If you never wanted kids you won’t want them - the responsibility won’t decrease, the cost won’t decrease, you won’t have more time to spend with them to parent them. Nothing will change.

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  • onslaught545@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    That’s not really true. There are plenty of people who reverse their stance on having kids as they get older.

    Not that it’s a strong reason to not get a vasectomy, but it’s absolutely not true that people’s minds never change on the subject.

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    • aceshigh@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      When the world was on the up and up, some people were doing that. Now fewer and fewer people have kids - even those who want them.

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• tonylowe@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Just wanted to share that it’s possible that RISUG or Vasalgel (I think they rebranded as PlanA) will become available this decade. Look into it and see if that works for your needs (no idea how active you are). I’ve got kids that I’m hoping will never have to worry about a surprise (funny enough they are the very first planned offspring on either side of our families).

  Best of luck to anyone facing this choice at any age.

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• NeryK@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I do think 22 is indeed too young and that you should revisit this when you get to your thirties.

  Your family believing you will change or mind is irrelevant. Your life and identity is still likely to evolve significantly in the next decade or so, regardless of your current marital situation and current state of mind.

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