Submitted 7 months ago by peachgelato@lemmy.zip to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
First off, thank you for ejaculating responsibility. If more men ejaculated as responsibly as you the world would be a better place. You might be on the young side but vasectomies’ are now reversible with a 90%+ rate. So freeze some sperm for a decade or so if you are really worried about it. So you have some options if you want kids in the future.
They can also just go into your balls and get sperm.
People forget this lol you still have your balls.
So freeze some sperm for a decade or so
Please tell me you didn’t get these ice cubes from the GREEN tray!
Why does your ice taste so odd?
i just got my tubes tied at 23. I think I felt so strongly about it because pregnancy would be destroying my own body. You don’t really have to worry too much about that, but I still understand wanting to make the decision young. IVF would be an option for me if I were to change my mind. Maybe get some frozen just in case? Adoption is also a wonderful option! Best wishes
If you are sure you never want kids then there is no reason why you shouldn’t get a vasectomy. Personally I wanted nothing to do with children until my 30’s and then I started to wonder if maybe having one might not be so bad.
I had my one and I can confidently say I am for sure done. I love my little monster with all my soul but there is no way I could handle 2 or more.
I totally get why you would want to make sure you never have any so if thats the decision for yoou then go for it. plus If you ever change your mind you can always adopt. I can tell you from first hand experience there are 1000"s of kid out there who need a loving home and not a whole lot of “loving” homes to take them.
i got my tubes tied and the option of adopting played a huge role. I cannot stand the idea of pregnancy, thats why I wanted my own tubes tied, rather than my partner having a vasectomy, that way I am in control. But I don’t hate kids, and I’m not entirely against the idea of adopting a kid down the road. Especially one thats a little older, I’m also not too fond of babies lmao
I think you are making the right decision for you. I have watched a lot of people struggle after having children they did not plan for. If you know you are not and likely will never be interested in having children, getting a vasectomy is right for you.
That being said, if things change down the road, you can always foster, adopt, or attempt to have the vasectomy reversed – the last option is not guaranteed though.
Are you in an emergency? And have you evaluated alternatives ?
There are long but reversible ways to avoid male’s fertility ; such as temperature method ; which aren’t advertised because they are not profitable to sellers.
Basically, at body temperature, balls don’t produce semen (they are naturally hanging out in order to be cold enough). So any tight and heat keeping underware may work. Maintain them at body temperature at least 16h a day. After 2 monthes, check your sperm count with over the counter tests, if your count is clearly too low you are doing things right.
To reverse it, wear underwares that allow your balls to hang and refresh themselves. Count 2 to 3 monthes to fully recover.
There are also chimical alternatives, and some tools to make the temperature method “more secure” (if that tools really work).
Vasectomy may still be the best for you, but you may feel more confident in doing it if you know why you prefers it to alternatives.
Vasectomys are reversible and not wanting to have kids at the age of 22 is fairly sensible.
Also, if you really change your mind, adoption is a perfectly valid option for kids. No shortage of children in this country who need a loving household. You don’t even need to get your dick dirty if you decide you want kids later in life.
Same question as, is 22 too young to have kids. Both are non-reversible and have consequences for the rest of your life.
My partner and I both came to our own conclusion that we didn’t want kids and felt the same way through multiple different relationships. But when we got together, things were different.
We’re still not 100% but we both agree that we want to talk about it more as, together, we found we actually have the desire growing within us now.
I cannot speak for you OP - you are your own person. I can only share my personal perspective which is that 22 year old me and today me are very very different people. I wouldn’t forgive my past self if I’d taken away my future self’s agency.
I will go against the grain here.
22 is way to young to make any “permanent” decisions.
Unfortunately that is he age when many have kids so…
If you do decide to, there is also an out.
You can have sperm frozen.
The doc questiones why I wanted a vasectomy at 30, which he thought was young.
“I have 3 kids already.”
That’s all it took to convince him.
Get your sperm frozen
Best of both worlds
I don’t think so. If you are certain you don’t want kids now, great. Get the snip and don’t worry about nutting raw and deep(with the consent of your partner).
Worst case you can later get a reversal that has a detrimental effect to fertility the longer that you have had a vasectomy, which means you will just need to try more.
A lot of people in here saying don’t do it because you might change your mind. They never seem to apply that logic the other direction. There’s lots of parents out there that had kids and only then realized they didn’t want the whole deal. And worse for them, society has driven a nauseating culture of parental worship and idolatry. It makes it impossible to come to grips with that realization. Parents are supposed to unconditionally love and champion their child and constantly profess how thankful they are and how gratifying the whole endeavor is. And that’s just with a “normal” child. If you have a kid with a disability or some kind of handicap that makes parenting exponentially harder you still need to profess your thankfulness! You aren’t allowed to not want to be a parent then. That ship has sailed. Anything less than abject subjugation to the identity of being a parent is condemned.
if you don’t want a child with disabilities, then just don’t have children. are you gonna dump your baby in a dumpster if they get long covid?
Just do it. (Nike).
Is your life likely to change significantly in the next five years? Most people go through fairly big changes in their 20s. How will your future significant other feel about it? Do you care, or is it a deal breaker?
I knew by 22 I never wanted kids. Annoying, noisy, messy, and expensive.
But I listened to everyone around me saying I’d change my mind.
Got snipped at 35, mostly due to the scares and the extra risk to my SO due to recent law changes (abortion being made illegal).
We (my SO and I) both agree I should have just done it sooner, and not listened to everyone claiming my opinions would change.
Everyone tells younger men the same thing it seems. I heard the same bullshit from the time I started talking about it (vasectomy) as a teen. 35 now and nothing has changed, living the dink life with my wife and it’s great.
Yup. They created this shit ass unaffordable world.
My family always told me that I’d grow more conservative and want a family of my own as I grow older.
As I aged I went from ambivalence toward politics and kids to decidedly anti-conservative and anti-kid.
You know your own feelings on the matter more than your family does, and letting your family dictate how you live your life will lead to resentment and misery.
Negative. I got mine at 23, but only because it took me five years to find a doctor who would perform it.
Good luck. Also, the recovery times are very serious.
And everyone is different (duh), but there has been a complete absence of regret. Added bonus: my partners have been very appreciative that the onus of birth control is not on them.
Did you have a rough recovery? I was sore for a few days but I thought it was a breeze, all things considered.
You can, after a vasectomy, directly draw swimmers using relatively expensive but available procedures. If you desperately urgently want progeny after making the decision you don’t need to reverse it to have children. It would require in vitro.
Search for “SSR and IVF”
I got my Vasectomy at 26. I wanted it sooner, but insurance sucks.
I believe firmly that regret is something you make yourself feel or are made to feel. So your family members don’t regret having kids because they haven’t been made to regret that decision.
I haven’t told my family about my snip because I think they would have tried to make me regret it.
That makes sense to me because they want that constant reassurance that their decision was correct. So someone NOT making that decision means it may not have been correct.
If you wanna talk about it more, I’d happily chat with you and be the support you’re not getting.
No. I had to wait until I was 25 before they would let me. I’m quite a bit older now and have never even slightly regretted it.
It is potentially possible to reverse. Although its an expensive surgery with low chances of success to get it reversed. I think its also possible to directly extract sperm for artificial insemination but I’m not aware of that method being commercialized.
no, bodily autonomy has no age limit
I’m kind of with your family on this one, but if you are going through with it I would just verify with the doctor performing the procedure whether it can be reversed in case you change your mind later on.
Reversal procedures are effective in only about 30% of attempts. Every doctor will tell you that you shouldn’t do it if you’re not sure.
You know yourself better than us and I don't kbow your reasoning behind that "it's just not my thing" so I can't tell you either way.
I've never wanted kids and wish I had gotten a vasectomy earlier than 28. I'm 35 now. Looking at the world, I can't say it's done anything but constantly reaffirm the same conculsions I've drawn since I started thinking about sterilizing myself at 16.
I never changed my mind because my reasons weren't shallow. More of a reaction to my environment and the nightmare nature of reality most refuse to acknowledge, choosing delusions and unevidenced beliefs instead.
I share the sentiment and have always felt the same way since I started thinking about it (even as a kid myself). The idea of having kids never appealed to me, I don’t like being around them, never have, still don’t at 35. I have a handful of nephews/nieces now and still don’t enjoy hanging around them even for short bursts of time… I don’t have the patience for the screaming, crying, breaking shit, tantrums, messes, etc.
It’s a 24/7 job for at least the next 20 years if you go through with it.
Hmm okay, in this case I think there's a high chance your preferences could change as you age.
Looking back, I realize I was pretty immature at 22. It didn’t feel that way at the time, but it sure does now. These days, 18‑year‑olds look like kids to me.
I didn’t want kids back then, and I still don’t - but my perspective has shifted a little. When I see parents now, there’s a slight melancholic feeling that comes with knowing that’s something I’ll probably never experience.
So yeah, if you’re 30 and don’t want kids, that’s probably not going to change. Before that, though, there’s always a chance.
Can fully agree and would even say wait until 32
something I’ll probably never experience.
Fostering and adopting is a thing. And can be just as, if not more, rewarding.
Over the years I have unofficially fostered a few kids, run aways that I took In and their parents realized it was better for them to stay with me rather than forcing them home to run away again to who knows where this time.
I see one of them from time to time around town and always tells me about work and his girl friend, no I do not have the same relationship with him as I do my own kids, but he only lived with me for 6 months, and that time greatly improved his home situation.
I’ve done this unofficial fostering myself. I make sure that I don’t claim all ”my” kids, they are still their own individuals and have all rights to connect with their families and cultures. I love my kids, both bio and not. I wouldn’t want to be without them. But I still am sure I should have had other options achieved when I was younger. So I concur with the commenter I replied to now and OP. Don’t let family pressure fuck your life up.
Damn, that’s a hard choice. I don’t really want kids either, but sometimes the hormones hit hard. Definitely get your sperm frozen at least.
It’s tough to predict the future. Most people don’t start wanting kids until they’re older than that, or at least until they’re in a serious relationship. Given that you did not mention one, I’m going to assume that you are unattached. Most single people in their twenties want to get laid without having kids.
You may find that a vasectomy is a complete blocker for certain relationships. However, if you truly do not want kids, those would be doomed regardless.
Will you change your mind? Perhaps. Many people’s views on the subject change as they enter their 30s. But that doesn’t mean yours will.
It might also be worth considering why you want a vasectomy right now. If you are single, you should not be hooking up with random people unprotected. If you are in a relationship, this is something that you should discuss with your partner.
Statistically and realistically this relationship isn’t going to last btw.
Many of my friends, especially women friends, didn’t want kids. We’re certain they would never want kids. They pretty much all now have kids, multiple kids.
You guys are kids. Don’t forget that.
The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 7 months ago
It’s nobody’s decision but yours, but I will point out that as humans, we are very poor predictors of how we will think or feel in the future.
When we’re depressed, our brains process thoughts of the future as if we’ll be sad forever. When we’re happy and have lots of energy, we make big plans as if we’ll always feel that way. Lottery winners feel an initial euphoria and think they’re set for life, but studies show their mood returns to baseline after about 1 year. Age and development helps you push the fog of foresight a little further, but it’s still hard.
I don’t know you, but if I were speaking to myself at age 22, I would caution making a decision like that so early. I still cringe about being tasked with picking a college major at 18 and how wrong that could’ve gone, and this is easily 100x more important.