Lol. I keep telling my partner that I’m sharing my location data with her so don’t need to worry where I might be (Im pretty bad at reporting home unfortunately)
‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing
Submitted 10 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to technology@lemmy.world
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/jul/24/inside-the-rise-of-couple-location-sharing
Comments
thenose@lemmy.world 10 months ago
MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world 10 months ago
If you can’t trust your spouse without location, tracking, find another spouse.
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 10 months ago
No they need therapy not another spouse. They shouldn’t have a spouse at all until they’ve fixed their own insecurities.
detren@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
My girlfriend and I share our locations mainly for convenience and safety. It’s nice to know that she’s 3 tram stops away from home so I can start cooking dinner for example. She’s also terrible at responding to texts and calls though lol
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
She could text you, no? It seems like getting her to be better at that is better than opening the can of worms involved with location sharing. For example, here’s some bad stuff that could happen:
- phone sells that data to advertisers
- gov’t gets that info and you trigger an alarm (maybe you went hiking a little too close to a sensitive area)
- data breach happens and now crooks know when you’re not home
- SO’s creepy friend sees your location and is secretly stalking you
Etc. Those probably aren’t super likely, but being able to avoid it all entirely with a little better communication sounds a lot better.
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Yes, clearly the solution is to make her change her behavior. Needing your SO to change themselves is definitely a sign of a healthy relationship.
slaacaa@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Same with my wife. I even have it set up for my mother, so I know she’s safe. I don’t understand what the big deal is, as you say it’s a safety and convenience feature, it doesn’t mean you spend the day looking at the app to see where the other person is.
It’s not something I would do in a casual or new relationship, but if I’m with somebody for years, I value safety over privacy.
And for the people who think this would prevent or bust cheating: lol. They can just turn it off and complain of bad reception, or leave their phone in their car, while they “shop at the mall”. Or just get a second phone.
Regarding tech privacy: it’s not like other apps on your phone are not already tracking, I doubt anybody has their GPS constantly turned off. They already know your location, this one feature doesn’t make a difference.
Count042@lemmy.ml 10 months ago
For one, it wrecks your battery life.
Secondly, everyone I know my age keeps GPS off unless using a mapping program.
Finally regarding app privacy, people do care about that which is why grapheneos and other privacy focused OS’s exist.
The fact that you don’t care about privacy and want the government and corporations to have every sext you’ve ever received or sent doesn’t mean that others don’t care as well.
Evotech@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Yeah I know many who just use it as a practical tool in the day to day.
Even know friend groups who use it between themselves (they all live close together)
SnapMap is also very popular, obv less accurate but nice to see who is in town
supermurs@kbin.earth 10 months ago
We only share our locations when for example my wife is coming home from shopping groceries so that I know when to go out to the parking lot to help carry the groceries home.
I had no idea people share locations constantly.
Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 10 months ago
My friend shares her’s with me continuously. I do not share mine. I see no point. I don’t even know why she shares her’s with me. I’ve only found it a bit useful two or three times over the years. And more of in a “I don’t have to walk around this area to find her” way. If I didn’t have her location I’d just walk around a couple minutes to I spotted her.
CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I’m pretty sure she’ll think I’m about to pop out from behind a car to scare her.
Fondots@lemmy.world 10 months ago
My wife and I work different schedules. on the rare day off that were both home, she’s often out of the house when I wake up. She’s not great at replying to texts. I never know when she’s going to be home, and usually have no clue what she’s out doing or where.
But I know who she’s doing while she’s gone- no one. Because I trust my wife. I know who she is as a person, I know what our relationship is like.
I have no particular desire to know her location at all times. I’m sure if I asked, she’d share it with me, and I’d do the same for her. I might occasionally do that when I’m off hiking or something in case there’s an emergency, but half the time I wouldn’t have a signal anyway.
We are two humans with our own lives. Those lives are very intertwined, but we’re both allowed to go off and have our own adventures, occasionally some secrets, and we don’t need to know where each other is 24/7
tal@lemmy.today 10 months ago
I kind of don’t want to send my location to “location sharing” companies to sell to data brokers.
ObsidianZed@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I know several people that do this, but most often it’s parents with kids. That’s still not an excuse though as there deserve their own privacy. In all cases that I’ve seen though, it’s through Apple/iPhones. Now I’m not saying Android users can’t or don’t do this, but Apple makes it so easy, that it’s everywhere and I hate that.
NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
I am of multiple minds on it.
I very much do like the idea of sharing your location (once you are in a committed relationship). Knowing when your partner is coming home or stuck at work or at the grocery store is useful. Same with knowing that someone can check in on you if something horrible happens. And I have 100% shared my location temporarily for that.
The problem is that… you don’t always want to do that. And explaining that becomes a mess.
At its core it is opt in versus opt out but it also can trigger the kinds of conversations that are really better suited to a lot later in a relationship. Like with prenups. There are a lot of REALLY REALLY REALLY good reasons to have them but it is the kind of topic that you can’t even raise without having the implication of “I don’t trust you”.
null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
I just message my partner like a troglodyte.
omniman@piefed.zip 10 months ago
First step - get a gf
MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Just treat them like regular people, like you would anyone else, and they’ll come to you. Basically, you don’t have to hit on them. Just be their friend. Let it happen naturally.
paraphrand@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I do this location sharing with someone.
The only time it crosses my mind to check it is when they are coming to visit or we are otherwise traveling or meeting up.
I thankful for whatever makes it easy for me to just be chill about it.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Life360?
paraphrand@lemmy.world 10 months ago
That sounds right
Dozzi92@lemmy.world 10 months ago
This is dumb. Young couples have been plagued by insecurity long before location sharing. Dial the clock back 20 years and I’m your typical high school boy worried about his girlfriend.
I share my location with my wife, and even some buddies of mine. My wife has seen my location when I was at someone’s bachelor party. It has nothing to do with sharing location and everything to do with trust in your relationship. I don’t have her location to keep tabs on her. I have her location so we can better figure out how to get our kids from places. I have my buddies’ locations so if I end up grabbing a beer, I know who’s out and about, or when someone goes to Tanzania, I can say, Joe, what the hell are you doing in Tanzania?
Before location sharing you texted, or you called, or you hit me on my pager, or sent me a letter. Technology isn’t the problem, it’s – once again – just us dumb people being dumb.
Ibuthyr@feddit.org 10 months ago
What’s wrong with giving the spouse a quick call when they’re worried about them? Fuck sharing your location, what kind of dumb shit is this? If anything, sharing your location might actually make them paranoid in the first place, as they might try to interpret things in your movement. The hell is wrong with people? I’ve never heard of this behavior, is this something Americans do?
Dozzi92@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I’ll look and see my wife is distant and I’ll shoot her a text and say “Grabbing the kids.” We each work jobs that take us different places every day (her more than me since COVID), and so we aren’t able to rely on some set pattern. I’m able to just see where she is and make a decision. Half the time she’s in the car she’s on the phone for some meeting and so I can’t call. It just makes things easier. I can’t fathom why it upsets you so much, but if you wanna chalk it up to America bad, you do you.
acosmichippo@lemmy.world 10 months ago
call? what kind of dumb shit is that?
commander@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I noticed this becoming more common. Young people do so enjoyably. Old people I hear talk about it, it sounds controlling and bordering on unhinged paranoia. Those young people will be old someday too along with whatever sorts of paranoias they develop like all people seem to do
0x0@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Kids these days® were born into a world of surveillance capitalism, so they have no reference to compare it to.
jeena@piefed.jeena.net 10 months ago
At least when they get lost because of dementia it'll be easy to find them.
PixelatedSaturn@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I don’t know, it’s a pointless thing that I just forgot to turn off at some point. I couldn’t care less if she knows where I am and sometimes I do what her to know, like when I go hiking alone.
Empricorn@feddit.nl 10 months ago
Since you’re one of the few people that admit to you and your partner using it: What do you think about the company knowing where you are at all times?
PixelatedSaturn@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Yes, somebody pointed that out already. I need to find out more about how it’s done.
then_three_more@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Are you happy with the company that makes the all and the 71960 partner companies with “legitimate interest” knowing where you are all the time too?
PixelatedSaturn@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about it. For sure I don’t. I hoped that it was secure in some way. Yeah that’s kind of really bad lol
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Might I suggest this: www.zood.xyz
artyom@piefed.social 10 months ago
If your partner doesn't abuse it is fine, but that's also possible to change at any time.
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
Further most people don’t know they are in abusive relationships even if it is obvious to others around them so the casually dismissive argument “well abusive couples shouldn’t use it” is a trash argument.
paraphrand@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Yeah, it is possible to be totally sane about it.
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
No it really isn’t, privacy is a nuanced thing.
Dozzi92@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I have my mom’s location, and it’s good because she just turned 64 (I think) five minutes ago, I need to wish her a happy birthday, appreciate the reminder. But when she travels out alone, sometimes it’s nice to know she got back to her hotel without having to bother her about it, so we do the sharing thing. And for hiking alone, sharing your location with someone beforehand just seems like a good idea.
This article is dumb. Location sharing is silly. People will abuse it, and those same people would’ve found some other way to abuse the trust in their relationships anyway. I had girlfriends as a kid who’d demand calls when I was at a party they weren’t at. Dealing with a lack of trust in a relationship is a growing pain.
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
People will abuse it, and those same people would’ve found some other way to abuse the trust in their relationships anyway.
The WHOLE point of this thread is that NO this is a new entirely more persistent tool of abuse.
0x0@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Dealing with a lack of trust in a relationship is
done by leaving said relationship.
besselj@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Safety concerns aside, you should trust your partner enough to not need to track them
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
There should also be enough trust for either side to never use it except for emergencies.
happydoors@lemmy.world 10 months ago
For me, knowing my spouse’s location is just convenient for knowing ETA without bothering her. It’s not really about trust at all
Zachariah@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I figure if my phone manufacturer and cell providers are tracking me all day, why not also my closest friends and family.
HalifaxJones@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Same. We both follow each other and neither of us care. We mostly have it enabled for the “just in case” scenario that anything happens to one of us. We can make sure that we know of our last known location.
I’ve also had her use it one time I was away from home in NYC. And I was too drunk to figure out which subway to take to get back to my hotel. So she walked me through step by step while on the phone with me. It fucking rocked.
moistclump@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Exactly my thought. It’s nothing to do with jealousy and just kind of convenient if you need to meet up or are seeing if they’re on their way home and can get dinner started or whatever.
0x0@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Relationships based on trust?!
Surely you jest!Psythik@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Exactly. My girlfriend will disappear for an entire day and not come home until 10pm. I usually have no idea where she is or what she’s doing (mainly because I forget due to having ADHD), but I don’t worry about it because I know she’ll never cheat. How can a person even be with someone who they don’t trust? Without trust, there is no relationship IMO.
greybeard@feddit.online 10 months ago
There is the case of the worriers. People who, when not given positive confirmation otherwise, assume the worst. I'm not talking cheating, but like accidents. "He's 5 minutes late, maybe he got in a car accident and died!" It's not healthy, but it is common and isn't a trust issue.
hornedfiend@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
that doesn’t always work out the way you’re expecting though, but I agree, trust should be opt-out.
timewarp@lemmy.world 10 months ago
If a partner demand they have it on to prove they’re not cheating, then they should be looking for a different partner.
Ebber@lemmings.world 10 months ago
I’ve already solved that by not finding a partner 😎👎
HaveMeOnYourPodcast@lemmy.world 10 months ago
The partner demanding that is projecting like a Barco DP2K-32B.
LillyPip@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Of all the dystopian things, this is probably the most dystopian thing I’ve read lately.
This is horrible.
PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Most people my age that I know have location tracking shared with SO’s. It’s considered a step in the relationship.
Cethin@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
It’s be a step out of the relationship with me.
RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
Grim
Blisterexe@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
People my age have their whole friend groups on location sharing apps like that, it’s awful.
twikz@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
Some friends of mine have literally hundreds of friends with their Snapchat location sharing on
Empricorn@feddit.nl 10 months ago
Why, though?
MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Witch your age group. Do you mind giving examples where it’s been helpful and maybe examples when it’s not been so helpful?
Senseless@feddit.org 10 months ago
Wtf? Is this the outcome of growing up with helicopter parents or were are those trust issues coming from?
Auth@lemmy.world 10 months ago
“safety is certainly a big part of the appeal for many users – so I allow the app to alert him each time I reach my front door.” I’m finding that people are irrationally paranoid these days. They see random acts of violence in the news and think it might happen to them but its so statistically unlikely given these are already unlikely events and these people usually middle class people living in nice areas.
0x0@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
They see random acts of violence in the news
Which is the only thing the news shows them to begin with… almost as if they cherry-pick stuff.
nous@programming.dev 10 months ago
BREAKING NEWS: Girl gets home safely after night out. More at 11.
Tanoh@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Humans are awful at accessing risk and chance, one of the reasons casinos and lotteries thrive.
Look at fear of flying for an example, all statistics say you are many many many times over more likely to get into a car accident on your way to the airport, than during the flight. Even when the ride to the airport is usually short and the flight very long. Yet people are afraid of flying, but not going by car. By percentage, there are of course those, rightly so, afraid of cars as well.
Yondoza@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Risk assessment is probability and severity. The probability can be vanishingly low, but if the severity is astoundingly high then acting like a high risk situation could be appropriate.
Take asteroids. The last planet killer to hit us was 94million years ago. A rudimentary estimate could put the probably as 1:94mil. (That is much less than the murder rate in America at 6.8:100,000). The severity of an asteroid impact of that magnitude is off the charts, so it is reasonable to consider it a risk and act accordingly to spend resources to search for and track asteroid trajectories.
The severity of abduction, murder, and rape is probably pretty high for most people, so considering it a risk even with a very small probability is not unreasonable.
0x0@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
the flight very long.
IIRC most accidents happen during take-off/landing.
Once you’re up there it’s chill.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 10 months ago
If you sacrifice freedom for security, then you deserve neither.
grue@lemmy.world 10 months ago
The main reason my wife and I don’t have location sharing set up isn’t because of trust or lack thereof between each other, but because I don’t trust proprietary/commercial location-sharing services.
I’ve been meaning to set up a self-hosted system (mainly because it seems like Home Assistant could do some neat automations with that info), but haven’t gotten around to it yet.
cole@lemdro.id 10 months ago
You don’t need anything other than home assistant though, right? the companion apps already just do that
grue@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Well, I need a reverse proxy or VPN or something so that the phones can connect to my Home Assistant server from outside the LAN. That’s the main thing I haven’t gotten done yet.
Count042@lemmy.ml 10 months ago
Hauk
Manalith@midwest.social 10 months ago
One of my gf’s friends went through a pretty nasty breakup, moved and whatnot and most of her friend group were trying to make sure that the ex and his friends didn’t have their location anymore and I’m just sitting here like “its wild that you have to go through that” well a couple weeks later 3 of her tires were stabbed with a screw driver or something, and while there’s no concrete evidence that they learned where she moved, I’m still over here trying to get them all to be more conscious about online privacy and location sharing, but nothing works…
Kr4u7@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
When you get back to that project: I used this project here. Mainly for myself tho.
Munkisquisher@lemmy.nz 10 months ago
Yeah we use it with home assistant, and Bluetooth beacons to turn on the garden lights when we get home, and turn on interior lights if neither of us are marked as home. Also turn on the electric blanket if we are out and heading towards home after 9pm. Also the person detection camera only alerts us if we aren’t home.
deafboy@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Make sure it defaults to OFF after power loss. My colleague had a close call when the smart plug with the infra panel plugged in decided to turn on after the power outage.
CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Would you mind sharing your automation yaml for the garden lights? I’d love to do more with Bluetooth beacons but don’t know enough about how they work to do anything with them.