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Obviously you find a 35 year old guy who looks to be 18 or 19. Then you can shock people together.
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Submitted 2 months ago by Talonflame@lemmy.cafe to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
anamethatisnt@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
jacksilver@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Or the reverse, find an 18/19 year old who looks 35!
Mothra@mander.xyz 2 months ago
Date someone you feel comfortable with beyond appearances. Because that’s what relationships rely on.
Unless you plan on staying looking like you’re 18 until you die, or forever if you’re not planning to die, then yes just date hot guys under 25 only, indefinitely.
hitmyspot@aussie.zone 2 months ago
Worry less about your age, their age and what people think. Focus more on what will make you happy. If you feel like dating someone in their early 20s is not predatory, then go for it. Remember, some 20 year olds will be less mature, too.
Talonflame@lemmy.cafe 2 months ago
[deleted]protist@mander.xyz 2 months ago
Dating someone in their 20s as a 30 year old is not predatory unless you’re preying on them (taking advantage of them by welding power over them or using their inexperience against them). It does not sound like you will be preying on them. Right now, focus on finding someone you like, their exact age doesn’t matter like you think it does.
BakedCatboy@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Imo it’s not enough of gap to be a big deal, there are much worse age gaps, especially when you’re talking about only people above 21. I’ve often dated older and when I was in my early 20s I would go on the occasional date with someone around 30 and the biggest reaction I got from friends or people around me was light teasing, but most didn’t really care. Now that I’m 30 I don’t feel that uncomfortable dating down to around 25, but I also look young and don’t feel like I’ve matured that much since my 20s.
I don’t think most people would care at the end of the day, I feel like it only becomes weird when you’re like in your 40s dating down to 20 something.
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 month ago
if no one believes your real age then no one’s gonna think it’s predatory
angrystego@lemmy.world 2 months ago
So it’s more like you’re into someone younger and you want to ask if it’s ok to date them? That depends on other circumstances, not just the age.
starlinguk@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Most 20 year olds are less mature, not some. It’s predatory.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
OP specified that, due to mental haze in their 20s related to their health issues, they mentally feel closer to 20.
hitmyspot@aussie.zone 2 months ago
Most 20 year olds are less mature than a 30 yo. What I mean is that some 20 yo are less mature than a typical 20 yo. Some are more mature.
Op could be predatory, but it’s not predatory by virtue of age alone. there is also a big difference with, say, an 18yo. Or conversely a 23 yo. After 20, a 10 year gap is no big deal.
There are predatory relationships at all ages. From OPs description, this is not the relationship type they are looking for, as they themselves feel less mature. I’d say 25 to 18 is worse than 30 to 20. It’s not the age gap that matters but the maturity difference and power imbalance.
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 month ago
it’s not like 20 year olds are immature, come on
20 vs 30 is nothing, most people still struggle to accept that they’re adults at 30…
XeroxCool@lemmy.world 2 months ago
In context, I suspect they meant to say some 30 year olds will be less mature, rather than saying look at a less mature age group, then go even lower
daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Date a 30 yo that looks like they are in their 60s for true shock value.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
fuck what other people tell you, follow your heart
ABetterTomorrow@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Ditto
toofpic@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’m a 40yo, and when I play guessing game with people, they say something like “you’re not older than 26”. I just think that I’m probably lucky with genetics , but that doesn’t really change what I do or who I meet with. And I’m emotionally like 21, so it works for me
Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org 2 months ago
Mentally I’d say I’m at the age I was right before I got really sick, around 20.
So that’s what you are looking for in a partner.
Libb@piefed.social 2 months ago
I will only say that you should probably not that an age, but a person. It' snot their date of birth we may spend time (maybe eve our live) with , it's who they are.
Since we're on the Internet, I should probably make it clear that I mean dating a person of legal age.
RBWells@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Why is it 20 or 35 if you are 30, and not, well, 30?
Date someone you like! Just go out with some guys and figure out what you like.
edgemaster72@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Date who you’re interested in, ignore the haters
blarghly@lemmy.world 2 months ago
correct
III@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Had a friend with this problem. All she could come up with was changing her wardrobe to reduce the appearance of youth. But as others said, date who you want. No matter how you look or who you date there will be judgemental eyes that should be rightfully ignored.
kameecoding@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Apply to work for Chris Hansen
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 2 months ago
People don’t often believe I’m old enough to have a daughter in her 20s. Take it as a blessing! Just do what feels right, and don’t worry too much about assumptions.
Hell, find a 35 year old that looks 55 and then you’ll REALLY mess with people!
floo@retrolemmy.com 2 months ago
And someone else who looks far younger than I am, just be glad for it.
razorcandy@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
I hope you’re doing better now <3
My suggestion would be to date whoever you like and have a good connection with without worrying how it will be perceived by others.
Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
If I had to guess the omptimum would be around 26. Not too much younger, and looks not too much older. Good luck haha.
Beebabe@lemmy.world 2 months ago
The difference between 20 and 30 mentally is huge. They are babies. That said, if you look super young you will naturally attract some of the worst types of people…be wary.
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 month ago
no it fucking isn’t come on, only people who are very insecure about their age thinks shit like this
Beebabe@lemmy.world 1 month ago
It has nothing to do with being secure oand insecure. Predators target young, naive individuals. It’s a known fact. Silence enables predation. Your defensiveness is weird.
Rakonat@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Find a person who makes it worth getting out of bed every morning and they feel the same about you. Everything else is crap.
If you still want advice from a stranger on the Internet about dating advice, in your situation I’d probably be looking for people closer to my age than not. But if some 20-22 year old says and does everything that puts a smile on your face, then go for it.
FelixCress@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Date whoever you want.
chloroken@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
My partner and I both look younger than our ages. It works just fine. Just watch out for creepy men.
NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
Happy birthday!
Just for the sake of anyone interested, OP recently made another post about looking too young (but not about relationships): discuss.tchncs.de/post/40800887
If nothing else, it might give more context.
AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
39yo here. People never believe i’m more than 30yo. I don’t think it’s a problem, rather something positive because I was lucky with genetics (and also didn’t wasted myself during my 20s).
The one thing I’d tell you about finding a partner is to look for someone who makes you happy. Maybe, other than that, consider where their mind is. I know I could date women under 30 and wouldn’t look physically “weird”, but would we be at the same point when thinking about work, future, family, etc? That’s way more important than looks when it comes to age difference.
peanuts4life@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Life’s too short to pick your partners based on other people’s aesthetic preferences. The whole, ‘is this guy too young for me thing’ is a more complicated choice IMO. Maybe you’re over thinking it. Have you been on any dates recently?