Forgot to add- Around half of women who have had abortions have had at least one child previously.
YSK there is a massive Google Doc of U.S. gynecologists that will tie your tubes without asking about your kids, marital status or age.
Submitted 4 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to youshouldknow@lemmy.world
Comments
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 months ago
cultsuperstar@lemmy.world 4 months ago
It’s funny that Republicans want to force women to have babies but then also complain about women that have too many babies and refer to them as “welfare babies” but also want to defund social aid programs and not provide additional resources to foster kids and orphanages.
(I know that was a run-on sentence.)
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
It all makes sense when you realize it has nothing to do with children. They just hate women who have sex and want to punish them for it.
Sidhean@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Well, it was a run-on thought! It really does feel that convoluted when you try and figure it out, but rest assured, you’ve now thought about this in more depth than most conservatives!
scoobford@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
They want the right kind of babies.
“Welfare babies” are babies born to poor and working class parents.
They want middle class white people breeding like rabbits, though.
danc4498@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I’d like to see how many people who have abortions later on choose to have a child. I think the “what if” logic for not having an abortions should also be applied to when having an abortion.
bitcrafter@programming.dev 4 months ago
Choosing to have a child later on generally has fewer negative consequences than unchoosing a child you have already had.
braxy29@lemmy.world 4 months ago
more than you’d think, i’m guessing.
anyway, what’s it to you? if someone has an abortion and never chooses to have a child, why does that matter to anyone else?
Xanis@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Any document for doctors who will actually listen and not make incredibly fucking idiotic observations about completely irrelevant medical topics? Asking for at least half the population of women in the U.S. who have gone in with a legit problem and been verbally pushed aside and not listened to.
“When was your last period?”
“I came in to be prescribed anti-depressants. I have been officially diagnosed.”
“Yes yes, but how is your uterus?”
“I am going to need anti-psychotics if you keep this up.”
Sybilvane@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
I was thirteen years old when I went to the doctor by myself because a cut on my eyelid wasn’t healing. I was asked about my birth control, sexual activity, and whether I thought I could be pregnant (after saying I’ve never had sex) then pushed out of the examination room after NOT having my eye examined at all.
As an adult, I realize now how terrible that was and I would have done something about it if it had happened to me today. But at the time I was so embarrassed and hurt, I just pushed all thought of it away until years later.
RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 4 months ago
What the hell? That’s so wack and useless
uis@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Considering you are talking about Memerica, you also was charged for it
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
The fact that this has to be a Google doc maintained by the general public, instead of just having doctors do their damn job, is infuriating.
abruptly8951@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Something makes me uneasy about this being a Google sheet, you need to use credentials to view it and someone has a log of who has accessed it…you can probably even see who’s viewing it in realtime
Use an anonymous account! Or someone should host this on a website or something with higher privacy
brb@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
You can open it in private/incognito tab, it doesn’t require credentials
shininghero@pawb.social 4 months ago
The other side is concerning as well. This list could also be used by individuals looking to do some targeted harassment. Or worse.
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Just entered it, with my Google credentials, even though I’m neither a woman nor an American. If they are going to track people who read it, let’s add as much garbage data as we can (to the tracking, not to the sheet)
PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Not all heroes wear capes. Thanks from the dystopian state of Texas, OP <3
KrankyKong@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Are these not valid questions? Serious question, don’t mean to offend. I got asked the same types of questions before my doctor agreed to do my vasectomy.
Squirrel@thelemmy.club 4 months ago
My understanding is that doctors often don’t just question but often refuse if they think the person should not do it. To be clear, that refusal is generally based on personal opinion, not for medical reasons.
theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 months ago
My wife’s gynecologist has asked her if she wanted to get her tubes tied during all three of our pregnancies. It didn’t offend us, we have the kids we want now and she said yes this last time.
I appreciated him asking. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s on that list.
SirEDCaLot@lemmy.today 4 months ago
This is exactly the issue. A friend of mine knew for a fact she never wanted to have children, but at the time was in her early twenties. Finding a surgeon who would do it was damn near impossible. Half of them refused without speaking with her husband (!) the other half just refused period saying she was young and didn’t know what she wants and would change her mind later.
At NO point was ‘my body my choice’ part of the discussion.
There was a similarly good thread on Reddit a couple weeks back about a woman who just gave birth and was having a lot of pain and knew something was wrong, and the doctor just dismissed her and said she’s being hormonal. It wasn’t until her husband threatened to sue the hospital that they finally got her a different doctor, who rushed her into the ER and as I recall said if she waited another day she’d have died.
The point is, and the problem is, that medical establishment has an awful habit of denying women agency over their own bodies. Always wrapped in valid reasons, but the result is still the same.
queue@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
None of those are required to be known for any other surgery. “Are you sure you want your shoulder fixed? What if in a few years you find a nice someone and want it broken again? Think of the smiles of your children when you rub this scar line!”
Squirrel@thelemmy.club 4 months ago
Your heart is in the right place, but that’s not exactly a reasonable comparison. Few other surgeries, even elective ones, permanently remove your ability to do something as major as procreation.
People should have the option to have their tubes tied without judgement, but it is not as simple a decision as repairing a damaged part of the body.
Kaboom@reddthat.com 4 months ago
Age definitely seems really valid. Like I can imagine that certain things about the operation itself can change with age.
m0darn@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
As a man, I think it’s the sort of experience that men struggle to understand because of patriarchal dynamics.
What I mean is: if a doctor were to:
- ask me if I have considered other forms of birth control
- and then explain all the different birth control methods to make sure I actually understand,
- ask if I’ve talked about the decision with my wife,
- and then explain that a general impression of her opinion isn’t the same thing as sitting down together and reviewing all the data,
- ask if understand how the surgery will affect my body
- and then explain the hormonal changes my body would go through
- etc
before agreeing to schedule a vasectomy.
Interpretting these questions through the lens of my lived experience:
These are thorough but pragmatic questions. The doctor is trying to make sure I understand all the options. The doctor is a peer with special expertise and wants to make sure that I understand all the risks.
But women too often grow up in an environment which tells them:
- Women should trust the men in their lives too make the best decisions for them.
- That having children is the most important thing they can do in the world.
- A woman’s value is proportional to her utility as a wife and mother.
- Women that have sex for fun are disgusting sluts.
So when they get asked a barrage of questions identical to the ones I’dve been asked, they experience them very differently. Women are not irrational to hear the exact same questions very differently if they are interpreting them through the lens of their experiences. Maybe they experience those questions as:
- “Why don’t you just stop having so much sec you slut?”
- “Don’t you know how to have sex with out getting pregnant you dumb bitch?”
- “Do you have your husband’s permission?”
- “Does your husband know you’re a slut?”
- “Do you understand that you will be destroying your value to society if you don’t have kids?”
- “Do you understand that you will become any even crazier bitch after this?”
And too often, the doctor really does mean that.
LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I’m so happy that I already see a doctor on that list. When I told her that I won’t function if I get taken off my birth control because of my endometriosis and how heavy my periods are, I was told that a hysterectomy isn’t something she’d consider YET and heavily implied she’d actually consider it if birth control becomes illegal. Love her.
braxy29@lemmy.world 4 months ago
i hope you will forgive me for asking something so personal (and i understand if you choose to ignore it), but - if you want a hysterectomy now and have been advised of the impacts, why is she unwilling at present?
LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Because she doesn’t think it is medically necessary due to the fact my birth control is keeping everything handled. I’m fine with not getting one now, but will want one if birth control becomes illegal.
Mango@lemmy.world 4 months ago
[deleted]NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Urologists do vasectomies and they don’t generally harass guys about their reproductive choices because sexism (vasectomies being easier to reverse is probably a factor too).
Volkditty@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I got my vasectomy done through Planned Parenthood. I had to go in for a screening first where they asked questions like, “Are you sure you want to do this?” and I said yeah and they said, “Really sure?” and I said yeah, so they said “OK cool, come back in two weeks and we’ll snip snip.”
Very easy process, highly recommend.
Mango@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Holup. Is that a penis specific doctor or is there no penis specific doctor while everyone is going around saying vagina science is way behind penis science because societal level discrimination?
Also, literally everyone I meet who hears about it gives me shit for my choice to never have kids, and I’m a guy. Just because you don’t experience it doesn’t mean guys don’t also take shit from the baby crazy people. I’m an antinatalist.
Mubelotix@jlai.lu 4 months ago
Depends on your country. In France not all urologists will help you
dogsnest@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Can they foretell Uranus’s movements?
best_username_ever@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
they don’t generally harass guys
Actually most of them do.
dogsnest@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Try harder for an erection permit.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Yes, it’s called “keep it in your pants if you want your partner to get pregnant and she doesn’t want to because abortion is illegal in a lot of states now.”
Mango@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Keep it in my pants is my strategy anyhow because I’m an antinatalist and do not gamble with my ethics. There isn’t a scenario where I’m trying to impregnate someone who doesn’t want it, so don’t come at me with a chip on your shoulder like that.
I had a friend who was born despite his father’s vasectomy. I don’t care what the odds are. I don’t play with odds.
dogsnest@lemmy.world 4 months ago
tl;dr - yes and no.
ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 months ago
OP is based
EmptySlime@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 months ago
We moved hospitals for the birth of our twins to find one that was willing to tie her tubes when they took the twins out. She ended up having to have a hysterectomy for other reasons later but them being willing to tie her tubes during the c-section was a big part of our decision on doctors to see.
My mom had a hell of a time getting her tubes tied after my brother was born. She had to argue with the doctor for a while to eventually get it done. Gave her the old “What if you change your mind later?” line in like 5 different variations. The one that really angered me though when she told me the story was “What if something happens to one of your children?” Like you were just replacing a busted TV or something.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 months ago
The one that really angered me though when she told me the story was “What if something happens to one of your children?” Like you were just replacing a busted TV or something.
That’s so awful. What a bizarre attitude. It’s like something out of the Middle Ages- you can always have another, unless you die in childbirth.
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 4 months ago
It is not an unreasonable question, I was asked the same when I got my vasectomy. The implication was “you are young enough to have another should the worst happen”, not that kids are replaceable parts.
Binette@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
Based ❤️
cheers_queers@lemm.ee 4 months ago
how do i submit a doctor? i had a hysterectomy at 27, childless, thanks to an exhausting search that led me to an amazing gyno in my area. ty
viking@infosec.pub 4 months ago
You’re welcome to join us over on !childfree@lemmy.world, if you feel like it. Rather fairly inactive for the time being, unfortunately.
cheers_queers@lemm.ee 4 months ago
I’m not sure what that community is like here, but the reddit one left a bad taste for me back in the day. I’m a step parent, i don’t hate kids… i just don’t want to be pregnant. :)
Lennnny@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Subbed. Will add some posts
StaySquared@lemmy.world 4 months ago
[deleted]Emerald@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Yeah I don’t think that’s the plan for most people. Some people just don’t want to take on the resposibility of kids and tubal litigation and vasectomies are good ways to prevent kids.
StaySquared@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Hey, I have no issues with that. After all it’s mainly liberals/progressives/leftist that are anti-children.
rekabis@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
Considering the aims of Project 2025, this may end up being illegal within the next four years.
Best to pass this info on to any pre-menopausal women that you know of out there. Having tubes tied still allows eggs to be harvested, it just prevents the sperm from reaching said egg outside of a test tube.
Emerald@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Why 21 and not 18 though?
ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
Probably makes the list a lot smaller
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 months ago
I saved this info to a file on my computer in case the Google Sheet doc goes away. Don’t be passive. Take some action, no matter how small.
tourist@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I don’t really need the sheet, but this comment compelled me to download it anyway
Nothing stresses me out more than FOMO
If you’re reading this like 5 years from now and the doc is gone, feel free to reply or DM me or the guy I’m replying to. I will probably still have it, unless I get hit by a bus or something
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 months ago
On that note, let me add something else in a similar fashion:
Worth noting, Patriot Front had a huge leak of data in 2022.
Patriot Front Fascist Leak Exposes Nationwide Racist Campaigns
You can download it at the following torrent address:
magnet:?xt=urn:btih:2c87816e4c81990fb25bbca43dd8d578eaa55886&dn=patriotfront&tr=udp%3A%2F%2F9.rarbg.to%3A2920&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Ftracker.opentrackr.org%3A1337&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Fexodus.desync.com%3A6969
I happen to be seeding this on a permanent basis. I have a gigabit uplink. Please leach and share. Expose these fucks.
Anon518@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Notice the
htmlviewat the end. You can archive it.Alk@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Hey, I have this idea for a new cryptocurrency. It’s going to be huge I swear
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Good plan. I will do the same. Although you might go back and do it periodically, because the list started a few days ago with only 150 names on it.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 months ago
Noted and saved. Thanks for the suggestion.