Does anyone speak hairdresser? I need help communicating.

Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨TheBananaKing@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

M49, I tend to go a bit long between haircuts which is on me, but I seem to have a really hard time explaining that I want short hair, like 20mm / 3/4"

I usually ask for a #2 clipper on the back and sides, (which works fine), then take as much as they off the top so I can still brush it straight up, preferably too short to grab onto.

Basically a cigar butt with eyes, shut up it works for me.

Even indicating with thumb and finger, this somehow gets interpreted as just barely trimming the tips off and painstakingly shaping the surface, barely affecting the overall quantity of hair.

How’s that for length?

What no, get in there with fire and the sword, wreak devastation, I want all of this gone.

:carefully trims another quarter inch off:

It’s not just one guy, not just one place, so I am obviously using wrong and misleading words.

How do I ask for the thing I want?

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Comments

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Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Show them a picture of what you want and let them know for how long it’s been since your last visit so they get a better understanding of how long it’s been growing out.

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- TheBananaKing@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Fair, but I’m still curious where the glitchup is occurring…
  
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  - Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Let them know you really do want it short and don’t even mind if they cut it too short because it’ll grow back. They’re just trying to cover their asses because there are people who tell them to cut off 2 inches and when they do it’s too much despite it being literally what they asked for and now they’re unhappy and blame the hairdresser for it.
    
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  - porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    The thing you’re missing is that other people come in and say the same thing as you, and when they listened to them once, they absolutely freaked the hell out, left bad reviews, maybe threatened to sue or something. So you just have to live with that unfortunately.
    
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  - GrymEdm@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    You may just have a bad hairdresser. I put up with mediocre-but-not-terrible haircuts for months when I moved into a new area, then one month I decided to try a 2nd shop instead. I brought in pictures to both places but the 2nd place was immediately better and fixed the problems. She even remarked that my issue was something the 1st shop should have recognized immediately because it was a) obvious and b) not hard to remedy. Don’t be afraid to visit another place if you have one available.
    
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  - Monument@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    They’re just cautious. If they mess it up, it could be months before your hair looks right again. I also ease into things when I think the person making the request doesn’t understand what they’re asking. Mind you, my clients are hiring me for graphic design, where my time is billable by the hour, and anything I do can be undone. I can afford to do exactly what they ask. (You know, unless they think I’m ducking with them to pad my time and use another GD. Then I guess I can’t afford it.)
    
    Have them keep revising the trim until you’re happy, then ask them to take pictures on your phone of the views they as a hairstylist need to see. Show the pictures next time, so they know you know what you’re asking for.
    
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voracitude@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I hope this helps

Image

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- TragicNotCute@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  This is exactly how you fix it
  
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Dagwood222@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Bring a picture of the cut you want.

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rainynight65@feddit.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
If they’re not trimming enough - tell them to keep going. Until they hit the length you want. The job is done when you’re happy with it, not when they think they’re done.

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- andrewta@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  The problem is he is explaining what he wants. They aren’t listening.they are basically doing the opposite of what he wants,
  
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  - rainynight65@feddit.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Then you stop them and tell them this isn’t what I asked for. It’s not that hard.
    
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thirteene@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Highly recommend looking up a guide from a hair cutting chain. From the sounds of it you want a crewcut ~20mm 3/4", “blend the sides” so that it transitions well, they might ask what size to buzz the side, you can just say “shorter than the top”. Crew cut will give you the longest time between haircuts as well, take notes of the actual length or clip size so you can be more precise next time. www.greatclips.com/lookbook/crew-haircut

I’ll also drop this in case it helps: Image

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- MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  This tracks, except which world does the author of this graphic live in where triangles are shaped that way?
  
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  - BearOfaTime@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Lol, right? That’s an egg, or better yet, one of the Oblongs.
    
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- AA5B@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Cool thanks, and I think I even have the correct column for my shape!
  
  It is tough. Apparently some of my haircutters think I look best like ….
  
  Image
  
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- netvor@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  you can just say “shorter than the top”.
  
  does this mean anything, though?
  
  I mean, could someone even possibly say “longer than the top” and be taken seriously?
  
  (And no, no no, stop right there----don’t even think of reminding me that mullets exist.)
  
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  - thirteene@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    You can also have a seamless transition, multiple varieties of the fade or a tapered cut. High end barbers also shave art into side of the head. Lots of different options, but generally people do fades.
    
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Apytele@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Stop explaining shit. Show them a fucking picture. They’re artists more than engineers, they’re visual/spatial people. Find a picture online of what you want. Once you’ve gotten a really good, absolutely chefs’ kiss prefect cut, take a picture each of all four sides and the top, then start showing barbers those instead.

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raoulraoul@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

Does anyone speak hairdresser?

No. Not even hairdressers speak hairdresserese. Like drummers, hairdressers/stylists/barbers will all appear as if all their attention is 100% on your description but they are thinking about something within their social circle (hence the real concern on their face). Like drummers, if there isn’t some kind of natural affinity between you and who cuts your hair, you will never get what you’re looking for.

That said, many clients haven’t the proverbial “faintest idea” of what actually works for their face shape and stylists, if they’re not suffering too strong of a hangover 🤣, do try to work within those confines.

You can only go in with your remarkably clear and detailed description —still open to interpretation as your hairstyle is not an airplane fuselage, with precise measurements and tolerances—in hand and still hope for the best. Apologies for the length of this reply.

DISCLAIMER: my ex-wife was and still is a fine hair stylist.

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- andrewta@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  How is it possible to go from
  
  "I want only want this much left on the top of my head "
  
  And have them think
  
  “oh he only wants that much cut off and leave the rest”
  
  They just straight aren’t listening
  
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netvor@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

Basically a cigar butt with eyes, shut up it works for me.

I was not planning to comment (i am no better) but even if I was, this line pretty much disabled me for straight 5 minutes.

I’m a ROFLcopter now…

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necromancyr@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
So…you’re close to me. Here’s what you want to say - and it WILL vary from person to person regarding what you get so try to find someone you like and stay with them (or a few of them).

“Number two, sides and back. Blended in tight. Cut the top down so it just falls back - not spiked, just falling back.”

The “just falls back, close to spiked” is the key length thing for the top. Also, them thinning the side to blend in better is a good thing and will make it look better longer.

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- Oaksey@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I find the “just falls back” on top to be #5 (5/8 inch) for me. It will obviously vary for each person but if you can figure out that number, you can be more specific and it might mean less trial and error for the hairdresser.
  
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bowroat@infosec.pub ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Sounds like you want a flattop? In my limited exp. with the style, barbers expect you back you every 2-3 weeks.

So per other comments. "Hi, I’m overdue by a month, can you give me a flattop, # 2 / 1.5 on the sides, not skin?

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- bowroat@infosec.pub ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Also, flattop is an old style, if they ask “crew cut”? They mean short, same length all over (maybe with a taper or fade on the sides (gradual length from stubble low to desired length up high) but not the cigar butt. So be firm :)
  
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netvor@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
maybe I’m too much of an engineering brain, but I just want to cry when they put fingers in my hair and ask “about this long”?

Like, I know it’s not a rocket science but come on, that’s like 800% error bar.

Once, a lady had enough emotional intelligence to explain herself whether she meant “cut above the finger” or “leave below the finger”. I will never go to any other hairdresser (luckily she’s much younger than me so we could actually pull it off). I ain’t got time for these axe throwers.

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- erev@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  π=5 for most hairdressers
  
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- MadBob@feddit.nl ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Of all the things you want your haircut to be, it’s precise?
  
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  - netvor@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    forget the hair, but the questions must be precise and well-formed :D
    
    seriously (ish), if the hairdresser holds my hair 2cm away from the skin and asks if this length is ok, and their finger is like 2cm thick, i don’t know if they mean 2 or 4.
    
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Spendrill@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Back in the day you would have asked for a flattop.

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RandomUser@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I’ve avoided the conversation entirely. Ever since the pandemic I’ve done my own hair with clippers. Made a good enough job of it, even if I’ve sometimes needed to do a small adjustment the next day.

For a simple style it’s not that difficult if you take your time.

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- TrickDacy@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Same. I like it all around, and it saves some money too. Though I will admit I’m a little slow at it, especially at first
  
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usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Maybe it’s that you’re asking for a style that’s “unfashionable” or atypical for someone with your look so the hairdresser is second-guessing you know what you’re asking for. I bet a lot of the time they try instructions as vague as “make it shorter and look good”. They’ll err on the side of leaving it s bit long knowing they can always take a bit more off and sneak up to the desired length when it’s beyond what the normal style is.

Just get it to the length you want, then ask the hairdresser what it’s called/how to describe it and take a couple of pictures as well and you should be set for next time.

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oce@jlai.lu ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
If it’s short hair trimming, you can do it by yourself at home. You only need a trimmer that should be the price of two visits and two mirrors. Watch some video tutorial like this one and regain your freedom. www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSZCH2mlz_M

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- netvor@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  that should be the price of two visits and two mirrors.
  
  …and a few drops of your own blood, I assume, but nothing more.
  
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  - oce@jlai.lu ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    It’s impossible to cut your skin with modern electric trimmers, unless you have skin as loose as foreskin on your head.
    
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  - morphballganon@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Just sweat. No blood.
    
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lurch@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
i used to just say the millimeters i want and tell them to only use clippers. no blades. no scissors.

but i switched to one length overall and since covid i got my own clipper and do it myself. if the clipper is good it takes like 5 minutes.

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- friend_of_satan@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  it takes 5 minutes
  
  And doesn’t require a trip out. And eliminates the ongoing cost of haircuts.
  
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etchinghillside@reddthat.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I never figured out the secret and just cut my own hair now.

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- Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  There is no true answer to the Tao of hair. I gave up and went around to hair dressers and said "Do whatever you like " until I found the one who made me look good. Now my hair looks amazing like 95% of the time and the remaining 5% is the occasional “just trying a thing” that becomes a temporary conversion piece.
  
  I realized I do not actually know what I want. To believe such was mearly ego. I am going to people who have better trained aesthetic sensibilities, why should I, someone who has no sensibility direct them? I am but a canvas, a scruffy Tabula Rasa.
  
  The DIY though is undoubtedly more cost effective…
  
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- DinosaurSr@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Me too
  
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- dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Correct answer. I just got an electric clipper and I mow the crop myself whenever it gets long enough to bother me. I don’t have to tip anyone, it only takes a few minutes, and I only have a few short years left where there’ll be anything growing up there anyway.
  
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pezhore@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Are you going to a sports clip or a great clips type establishment? Where you get a new hairdresser every time? That can be part of the problem.

I would constantly get hit or miss cuts until I found a guy who rented a chair in an independent hair cut place. Always going to Joe for my haircuts means he’s more in tune to what I need/want done and the consistency has been well worth the slight uptick in cost.

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- linux2647@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Image
  
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max@feddit.nl ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Get the same hairdresser every time, explain it once. The next time you can say “same thing as last time”. Maybe some small corrections here and there, but I never have to explain my wishes anymore.

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idiomaddict@feddit.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I think hairdressing is probably really difficult. The surface you’re cutting on is roundish, but not uniform, and the texture of hair changes drastically based on how long since the hair has been washed for some, not at all for others. I say this because I also can’t figure out the input to get the haircut I want back. I have had two-three haircuts in my life that were exactly what I wanted and everything else has been pretty different from what I requested (even with pictures of the good haircuts for comparison, even from the same hairdresser).

I donate my hair every couple years, so I essentially get a pixie cut that I let grow out 40 cm before getting another. I’ve got a pretty high tolerance for unflattering hair, so unless it’s really mullet-y or I have an interview, I’ll just wait for it to get better. I do think it’s more difficult to cut hair in a much different style/length from what the hair currently is, so you’re right that that could be a contributing factor.

The most recent haircut I got, I asked for it to look like this, but I left looking like Eric from boy meets world. I have very fine, pretty thick, completely straight hair, which should make it easier, but I guess not.

I guess I’m mostly ranting and trying to reassure you that it’s not just you.

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RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
In the barber shop I frequent they have a sign that they don’t trim longer hair on men.

I asked why, and the answer was that they keep asking for a “little more”, then “You cut it too short!” and then they start arguing.

So you may be getting some negative feedback the barber/hairdresser is working against because of people that are jerks playing this game.

Take a picture of yourself and your fresh haircut after it’s done how you want and present that to whoever is doing the work so they know what you want and it’s you wearing it so they know you’re ok with it.

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thirdBreakfast@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
#2 back and sides, finger length on top

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sadcoconut@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Interesting, I’ve always had the opposite problem - whatever I say they cut way too much off the top. Perhaps we should go together and order each other’s cuts?

I’m not sure I have anything helpful to say other than to suggest keep trying different places until you find one that listens?

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ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Just keep going to the same guy, he’ll eventually remember you and what it takes to make you happy

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- slowwooderrunsdeep@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Even better, find a picture of what you want, keep it on your phone, and show it to your barber
  
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  - howrar@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Or take a photo of your own haircut when it’s done the way you want. Or even if it’s not the way you want, so you can show the barber and tell them that you don’t want that, and how you want it to be different.
    
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Paragone@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Buy Oster Fastcut Professional clippers.

DIY.

Communicate by not being their customer, anymore.

Autonomy rules.

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Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Ask for a number 2 on the back and sides, and a number 6 or 7 on top. 6 is 19mm and 7 is 22mm, at least in the UK. I believe that these are standard lengths, but it might be worth double checking.

I got the information from this site:

www.fashionbeans.com/article/haircut-numbers/

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Krudler@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
The only barber that was ever able to cut my insane hair passed away after an unsuccessful liver transplant and it was at that point I purchased my own professional clippers.

Having bad haircuts my whole life until I found her is literally a point of trauma that I’ve not recovered from and I’m 49 years old now.

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TrickDacy@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I always had this issue too, any time I decided to go short. Conversely if I just wanted to clean it up while growing my hair out, they’d usually go too short.

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jollychimpanzee@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I used to have the same problem. Then I realized my hair is thinning, and any style haircut I wanted would never look how I expected due to thin spots. So I just have them shave my head. #0 or 1/8th inch. Go back 2-3 months later and repeat. Try it. If nothing else, it’ll grow our to about the length you want on top, then just have them trim the sides down.

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