Submitted 2 weeks ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/c624b35f-9287-4805-bb7a-52e8dd6ea265.jpeg
Sebastián, I have one very pressing question. Are jaguar soft?
FTFH.
Pro tip: don’t waste people’s time by forcing them to respond before you ask your question. Be polite and pleasant, AND ask your question at the same time. It saves both them and you a lot of time.
although this is usually correct, here it is important for the joke that setup and punchline are seperated by anticipation.
First of its a joke with a set up and punchline. Secondly its a group chat as can be seen from the two hearts and group chats work differently.
dontasktoask.com
hi
This is probably my biggest pet peeve. I stopped responding entirely, now I just wait until they ask their question. Eventually they’ll learn.
I write all my messages like there will be a 5 day delay for a response. Some people think I am mistaking the chat app for an email service lol
Another thing that is irritating is when people
Type part of a sentence And sends it
But continue on
And on
And you’re just like
Are you done?
It’s arguably less productive than asking to ask, as your attention is constantly grabbed to the new messages, instead of going back to your thing while waiting for the other to say their question
I do this except I’m just adding more sentences or rewriting my last message with more info
Touch is a good option to distinguish between a jaguar and a shark in a dark room - jaguar is soft and shark is smooth. Easy. You’ll never cagain onfuse a jaguar with a shark.
Shark’s only smooth from front to back. Otherwise shark’s sandpaper.
Nope. Sharks are smooth as hell in all directions.
I still remember when I went to an aquarium as a kid and touched the sting rays. That texture has stayed in my mind ever since. I still can’t find anything it compares well to.
I still can’t find anything it compares well to.
So … what was it like ?
You might enjoy a shagrin couch.
Pretty sure Sebastián would be happy to answer this question to non-journalists too
Non-journalists are soft too.
Next question, can I visit and experience the softness myself?
Yes but only once
Forbidden dinner date
Worth it
Right? Must pet spicy floof!
Can you imagine how it would feel if the Jaguar curled up in your lap and went to sleep?
Why’d you remove your own upvote? You’re allowed to like the smell of your own.
It’s a server setting. Their instance doesn’t auto-upvote, and can’t downvote.
This is an abuse of power. But since you’ve crossed the line already, could you ask about axolotles? Do they look happy even when they are sad?
Why are there two reactions? Who else was let in on this critical information?
Sebastiàn liked his own message
As he should, it was a good message.
Us now 🥲
I recently learned that kangaroos are soft, which surprised me as I always imagined them like weird deer and deer are not soft. I feel like this needs to be a list I can look at somewhere.
Are you looking for the Animal Smoothness Scale?
I think they’re looking for the Animal Softness scale
The two together form a two dimensional chart though
I wonder where humans lie on that scale. There’s such a range between ages, hormone levels, and even seasons (my hands are normally soft, but dry winter air is currently interfering with that.)
Animals vary from one to another as well though. Even in the same litter, you can have one with rough fur and one with fine soft fur. That’s besides the fact that there are many breed of deer.
I wish I didn’t know that. Now I really want to pet a jaguar.
I was 100% sure that would be the answer. Is there a feline that is rough?
I have one yes, very rough. Negative survival intincts. Got trapped once and didn’t even try to get out.
But are sharks smooth?
Depends which direction you pet them.
No
They can be if they are attracted to you.
Depends on the angle.
Only when they’re trying to date you
Very soft
Sometimes jaguar sharp
Don’t just take Sebastian on his word. Ask him to send you a sample.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s a trick. The jaguars killed Sebastián and used his phone to lure in more prey.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
no
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Emoji with pained face frozen in time disintegrating into a cloud of dust
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How long do I get to pet the Jaguar before it kills me?
MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Is it sleeping? Or awake?
comfy@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Yep, I’ve also gotten responses pretty reliably from professional artists, including those I’d assumed would be far too busy to answer (including the directors and writers of famous tv shows).