Submitted 2 weeks ago by Naive@leminal.space to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
I am turning 18 tomorrow. Any life advice for me
This was reported twice for not being a shower thought. The reporters are correct, it’s not strictly a shower thought.
But thinking about getting older is something we all do in the shower, for multiple reasons :)
Looks like people are mostly enjoying it so I’ll let it stay for now.
thank you moderator
Everybody else is just faking it, too.
And everyone is trying to muddle through, including your heroes. I think it’s good to keep this in mind; both to avoid feeling inferior for not having your shit figured out (because nobody has) and to be tolerant of people making mistakes – nobody’s perfect and everyone has issues besides getting your order exactly right.
Be chill with yourself and with other people.
Non withstanding there can be fundamental differences which no one tells you about (like neurodivergency) so if something feels very off, it might be.
Use sunscreen.
Brush your teeth and see the dentist at least yearly.
i do. and it is best thing i could do. People call me girly for doing it but skincare is for everyone
The people who call you girly are idiots. Having said that, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being girly. I much prefer that to toxic masculinity.
Just post the song for him.
Stop reading beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Buy a plunger BEFORE you need one
On a related note, own a fire extinguisher before you need one.
Also learn how to use both before you need to.
In a similar vein:
Get a fire ladder if you’re not living on the first floor
But seriously, learning to use a fire extinguisher needs to be emphasized more. I stopped a fire from becoming serious because I was trained to use a fire extinguisher and I put out the fire quickly. My partner didn’t know what to do and she just handed the fire extinguisher to me. If she were there alone, the building could have burnt down. Or at minimum, all of our possessions could have been damaged.
It’s easy to learn, but YOU NEED TO LEARN
Be nice to others, be honest, keep out of trouble, don't hang out with people who create trouble, and work on yourself.
Don’t take advise from people on the internet.
well you guys gave best advice and I got shitty advices offline not gonna reveal what i got
pick up the “analogue bag” trend. none of us older than you approve of the internet today: we had a different place to grow up in online. you will be the happiest and most hopeful person around- others will remember your calm and seek you for comfort.
stop using AI. period. your brain is developing, let it suffer the growing pains of wondering what to draw; of which source of knowledge learn from; how to compose your thoughts. you will be the most intelligent person around- ever increasingly so as years go by.
age old traps checklist: status, whoevers the most popular that moment, flips on the head as you grow up… everyone will Hate how the most popular person behaves now in a few years. be humble if you’re the popular one. at the sane time enjoy yourself: if you wanna indulge, indulge. saying stupid things from your heart is indulging. listening more than you speak is humble. that’s the secret to popularity that lasts beyond school years.
hug all around you. say hi to everyone around you, even those you don’t feel are cool- that you’d get bullied for associating with. that’s all we adults are doing: catching up on hugs and greetings, because it helps our mood and makes us feel meaningful wherever we have to be.
learn an instrument, or an art, or a craft, or a sport.
say no to drugs. period. your brain and body are fully developed when you are 26. then you don’t get as addicted and have an easer time finding a balance between partying and cozying up intimately in a couch. statistically you’ll end up regretful if not abusing drugs or being abused while doing drugs below 26 years old. i can attest. drugs don’t fix problems. they hide and let problems infect other parts of your life.
say no to sex that makes you feel pressured. as a guy i got status from chasing sex at your age, but if fucked me up to only be liked for being attractive. friends who cuddle are more important than acquaintances who fuck. one validates you as a human being and makes you feel seen. the other hollows you out while forcing you to become a person for the sake of others to feel seen.
be outdoors. pet animals. eat vegetables. drink water, not soda. drop food additives like “flavour enhancers” (e621) and aromas (vanilla aroma is made of literal cowdung and fossil fuels.) companies are not your friends: you’re as cattle to the companies, so yeet their brands. wear natural fibres and what you like.
welp i have more but idk if you’d read all
i have read it all. it was nice. thank you
oh also shower every other day, use deoderant without shit additives every day, change socks & underwear every day, learn to use a washing machine, learn to floss your teeth, use conditioner after you’ve rinsed your schampoo, learn how to clean the toilet after you & how to wipe yourself in the front (shaking isn’t enough among adults), trim your nosehair… i could go on.
Upload posts to appropriate communities.
well I legit thought about this while in a shower so I think showerthoughts is an appropriate community for it
Strengthen your core. Lower back pain in your mid-30s is a bitch. Also, take care of your teeth and floss everyday. Start investing early. Any amount you can set aside, no matter how small, will payoff if you start early.
yeah lower back pain really sucks and i used to have it a lot some weeks ago
Live below your means.
explain
Let’s say you’re a student and poor. You live cheaply, eat ramen every day, etc.
Now you get your first real job. The amount of money at first will seem crazy. There will be the temptation to just splurge, buy watches, fancy apartment, fancy car on loan, etc. This happens every time your income increases significantly.
Now let’s say you get fired. Suddenly you have the loans, the bigger apartment, etc but no way to pay for it. This will be very stressful and you may have to do things you don’t want to.
Imagine instead you didn’t have the car. You got a modest apartment, and saved some money. You have no debts, and can easily take half a year to get a new job no stress.
So when I say live below your means, I mean do not give in to the temptation to splurge. Spend less money than you make.
Try to put at least 30% or so of your income to the side (aim for 50%). Make an emergency fund of at least 3 months worth of expenses. Then start putting money into tax-deductible retirement funds and ETFs.
Most importantly, never take loans and keep monthly expenses like subscriptions to a minimum.
Practice your hobbies, I didnt start taking photos or playing guitar until I was 21, I’m pretty good now, good enough to find enjoyment in them
learn a language?
oh and also, therapy
therapy is expensive
Yeah, never feel like it’s too late to start something. There’s stuff (learning an instrument, language, craft stuff) I considered getting into in my 30s but felt like it was too late. Now I’m 40 and I’ve started and I wish I’d done it ten years ago, because I’d be so much further ahead.
Let go of any fear of others expectations for you as soon as you can. Explore what interests you and don’t let others stop you. People come and go, but they’ll come to you faster than they leave if you’re a confident and passionate person. You can only be that if you work on figuring out how you want to live and chase that life.
Wear condoms every time
Stay away from gambling sites. If you’ve got extra money and want to watch it grow, invest in Exchange Traded Funds (ETFs) with a low/no fee trading account. Stay away from meme stocks as well.
If you do invest, diversify your portfolio. SPY is very exciting but it’s heavily tied up in the AI bubble. Try to more international markets, clean energy, minerals, heavy industry. No matter what happens to the AI companies, we still need energy and resources to build stuff and keep our economy going.
Read about taxable and non taxable trading accounts in your country. Try to use those to avoid having your savings eroded by taxes. You will pay plenty of taxes on your income, so don’t worry about that!
The biggest advice I can give you is, you need to try to be social. It’s easy to hang out with friends in high school because everyone’s locked into the same building every weekday for 6 hours.
Once you’re an adult, you no longer have that limitation. Even college is more of a “go to class for 2 hours a day then leave afterwards” type of experience. It’s certainly liberating to not be forced to be someplace for long periods of time, but it also means that the primary reason that you hang out with your friends (ie, because they’re already there with you) is now gone. It can make for a very lonely experience.
You need to go out of your way and actively maintain your friendships. Make plans to meet up at least once a week or something. Otherwise, you won’t really get another chance to make deep friendships
yeah indeed i can relate for that lonely part
Yeah in college I experienced both extremes. I spent about a year and a half completely isolated, just traveling between classes and my dorm. It was self destructive and my grades and mental health suffered. Then I made some life changes and started going to clubs and events and made friends and suddenly it was easier to study even though I had less time. I became extremely social and found myself spending nights doing everything from deep discussions of big ideas to long nights drinking with friends to lots of casual sex to long nights working on projects.
Because of all this I left college far more well rounded and prepared for my career and my marriage. To this day the skill of how to make friends and positive acquaintances has stuck with me and been a majorly useful skill.
damn bro!! I don’t have this connection. Fellas all around me just i don’t know why avoid me and like damn, I am not a friend of anyone. If I put a certain persona then I am likable otherwise no one even wanna see my true self.
This is not strictly true. You can still make deep connections later in life. Very true that it takes effort though, and not as easy as when you are younger. Not impossible though.
Travel if you can afford to, it’s an incredible way to learn about the world and meet different kinds of people. Look after your teeth.
Learn how to clean properly, stains especially.
Practice a few basic but yummy recipes (trial and error for which work for you) and get good at cooking them.
Remember everybody is living their own life at their own pace. Don’t feel like you aren’t doing it right.
Ask for help when you need it. Nobody can do it all alone.
Stay in contact with friends and cut ties with people that make your life worse.
USE A CONDOM!
Get a vasectomy.
Do the things. Do them. Don't leave them until later. There are always things. If you don't do the now things, thinking you can do them later, there will be other things later.
Not doing the things only puts you behind, possibly forever.
Do the things.
yeah i really struggle with this thing. gonna do them. thank you
Glad you came back to read this.
I struggle with this too, and I'm old. It is a difficult habit to break out of. I urge you to put a lot of effort into this, make "doing the things" your habit.
But most especially, forgive yourself if you don't do the thing. The best time to have done the thing is "already", and the second best time is "right now", and if you do the thing at the second best time right now, when you're done it will become the best.
Or, if you're having a hard time doing the thing, just do a small part of the thing. A sub-thing, as it were. "It's a little bit better than it was before."
If you haven’t yet, question what being a man means to you, and what being a good person means to you.
You will, throughout your life, find those definitions challenged. How you respond to the first will help you to develop a stronger sense of how you relate to your gender, and how it effects the way you interact with yourself and the world. How you respond to the second determines your character, which is how the world will see you as a person, and with sufficient introspection how you will see yourself.
Keep growing. Keep learning.
yeah i question it
Awesome!
If you’re still looking for advice, another good piece I try to Employ is:
Always be working towards something, even if that something is just relaxation. Live with intention, because time unaccounted is time lost.
Not enough people do this. Very good advice!
Do not discard advice from older people because you think “the world has changed” and old people are out of touch.
ALL the advice that the older people in my life gave me in my teens about money/college/jobs/people/relationships was right, but I refused to listen to any of it because the were old and didn’t understand my life.
Don’t force yourself to learn every life lesson the hard way, like I did.
You’ll probably learn everything the hard way…but I tried to tell you.
thanks!! yeah older people advice are good but like sometime they are not good when dictating about religion/politics/morality or when they teach you to hate certain people based on what they believe
Don’t stop training, don’t eat shitty food (at least, not daily), don’t believe anything you hear or read and always double check it.
Take care of your body is the only one you have, use solar cream.
Spend time with your parents and people you love they are not going to be around forever, do things they like.
You have time, don’t rush into things. Don’t think you are 25 you should have a family by now, life is not a race each person reach goals differently and not all have the same goals. Search what makes you happy and do it.
get a dishwasher, always read contracts, be confident during interviews, hydrate your skin, do regular exercise
Get to know yourself. What kind of person you are, what do you like, need and so on. Accept yourself as you are.
Sure, you can change your weight, learn new skills, become better at stuff and get stronger. I’m not talking about those things. Some traits just are the way they are, and fighting against them will only result in frustration, stress and sadness. Try to figure out which parts of you can be changed and which ones can’t. Treat them accordingly.
yeah when I tried to suppress my bisexuality, it was just worse for me. Luckily this year I accepted who I am and it lifted the weight upon my chest
For many people, acceptance is super hard, and they end up struggling for years. Once you’ve gone through that stage, life suddenly starts to feel much less stressful.
You are the only person who is fully stuck with you and vice versa. You have to live with your choices and behaviors, and I’ve never met someone who genuinely both should and does have no regrets.
You will fail to be a good person, you will disappoint people you respect, you will fuck up on the job and in your relationships, and you will be the asshole sometimes. Treat each of these instances as a chance for growth and humility. A sincere apology and putting effort towards being better in the future will go very far. And when others do the same show them the grace and kindness you wanted when you fucked up.
That said, some people are in destructive places and will keep fucking up and hurting people, understand when you can’t help and when it will hurt you to stay in their life.
If you can’t be alone with, and genuinely love, yourself; you’ll never be able to do that with someone else. Living alone for a little while really helped me either this.
Who you are now, isn’t likely who you’ll be in 6 years. You’ll change a lot over the next few years as you become an adult. Legally, becoming an adult is the difference of a day. But actually maturing into an adult takes time and effort. Yes effort, you’ll meet plenty of adults who cling to their highschool self.
I don’t know if alcohol is still placed on a pedestal like it was in my teens, but alcohol isn’t that great. It’s an expensive poison humans can sorta metabolize. It can taste good, but moderation is key. The point isn’t to get drunk. As an adult who can drink anytime I please, is generally would rather just have water.
Now is a great time to get into a fitness routine.
Start building credit if you’re in the US, but don’t treat your credit card like free money.
Don’t let yourself get addicted to alcohol (or any other drug).
Spend a decade commuting by bike if you can (rain or shine).
Get radicalized by the terrorists (people who just wanna have a nice safe society free of bigotry and hate).
Internalize your rewards for doing something good - don’t look for external validation from others that you are doing a good job. This is especially important in relationships. It’s great to be appreciated when you do the dishes, but you should be able to motivate yourself to do it and feel pride that you are carrying your own weight.
Local, state, Fed.
If you don’t vote, you have no rights to complain about how government is functioning.
kambusha@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Always double-check. For example, the community you are posting in.
d00phy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Measure twice, post once!