What is wrong with being "Black Pilled"?

Submitted ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨throwawaycardboard@piefed.world⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

If someone wants to give up dating due to their looks, age or genetics (that includes mental state) that's a totally valid reason if you ask me. As long as it doesn't translate to misogyny no one will get hurt. However a lot of people seem to be ticked off by this idea, why?

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Fleur_@aussie.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
People who say they take the black pill haven’t actually taken it yet

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Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I’ve only heard it used by and applied to incels who are only trying to twist the narrative of why they can’t get laid. They aren’t choosing to not date, they are just lying to themselves they they have chosen to be alone, when in reality they are just undateable asshats.

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- TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  I think this is it. The difference between having a ‘type’ (normal) and being ‘black-pilled’ (weird) is the misogyny.
  
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deadcatbounce@reddthat.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
TIL all aromantic (aro) persons are misogynists (but not misandrists) by reading the comments.

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- howrar@lemmy.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Which comment is saying that? Everyone is being pretty explicit about the differences between choosing not to date because you’re uninterested versus because you think you’re too ugly.
  
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- TheDoozer@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  That is very obviously not what anyone is saying. Not dating because you are not interested in dating is different than not dating because you’re down on yourself and blame the world (and those of the gender you find attractive) for creating your situation.
  
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  - deadcatbounce@reddthat.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    As far as I can tell, people doing that very thing are being called incels. Not wanting to date for any reasons is regarded as a unavailable option.
    
    I’m old and feel sorry for people who just want to be left alone for their own reasons. Why is this so called liberal - which in my mind means live and let live - baying-mob so much more vindictive and nasty than I could have ever imagined (rhetoric question).
    
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zxqwas@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
It does not sound like a happy bunch to hang around. Is that what you aspire to have as a part of your identity?

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- throwawaycardboard@piefed.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  
  Is that what you aspire to have as a part of your identity?
  
  Well it makes no difference whether you do or don't. That's the point of taking the black pill.
  
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  - zxqwas@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    If you don’t date because you are ugly/mental/whatever and thus black pilled then that is a part of your identity. Instead you spend all the time playing games.
    
    If you don’t date because you put zero effort into your looks because you’re busy playing video games then games becomes a part of your identity.
    
    You’re doing exactly the same thing but your choice is what emotional baggage comes with the crowd you choose to identify with. That in turn will influence you and your own mental well being over the decades.
    
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etchinghillside@reddthat.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Can I just dislike anyone that uses colored pill references.

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- curiousaur@reddthat.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  We don’t use that word anymore.
  
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- spankmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  The polite ohrasing is pills of color
  
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- throwawaycardboard@piefed.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Well technically 'black' isn't a colour...
  
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  - prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Dunno how old you are, but this is how children reply to this kind of thing.
    
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- TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Yes because you’ve take the pile pile
  
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Lemvi@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
From my understanding, the “black pill community” is highly misogynistic and promotes self harm and mass violence / terrorism. I don’t think anyone would care if it was just a bunch of guys deciding they didn’t wanna date.

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Nemo@slrpnk.net ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
There’s no ideology described as being “pilled” that’s anything but toxic.

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Today@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I’ve never heard that term. I get that some people choose not to date, but don’t most people just live- go to work, grocery, social events, etc.- and talk to the people around them? I don’t really see someone saying, “hey, if that nice girl talks to me I’m going to ignore her.”

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- throwawaycardboard@piefed.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Once you have been around enough rejections you will know it's better not to feed those emotions.
  
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  - adespoton@lemmy.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I wholeheartedly agree.
    
    There are better emotions to feed, and they don’t tend to result in rejection.
    
    “Black pill” is a different thing from not dating.
    
    I never dated, just spent time with people who shared my interests. Eventually, I and one of the people who I shared interests with realized that we were often doing so exclusive of other people.
    
    We essentially went from just living our lives to everyone seeing us as a couple, eventually us included.
    
    Pursuing dating for the emotional high will let you down every time. Being real about who you are and what drives you, and learning to have healthy give and take relationships that don’t involve unrealistic expectations means you’ll end up with a more fulfilling life.
    
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FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Huh? I’ve literally never once heard anyone criticize people who choose to be single or asexual. What are you talking about? You gotta go outside and touch grass man.

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- MolochAlter@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  To be fair, are there many conversations where that comes up at all unless someone in the conversation is an ace/aro person?
  
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- TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  there’s a TON of hate/distrust for asexual people. “you are just ugly” “you just haven’t met the right person” “why are you celebrating that you don’t have sex? that’s weird” etc.
  
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  - partial_accumen@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    
    there’s a TON of hate/distrust for asexual people. “you are just ugly” “you just haven’t met the right person” “why are you celebrating that you don’t have sex? that’s weird” etc.
    
    What kind of conversations are you having with people that would respond like this where they’re learning about how much sex or not-sex you’re having?
    
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- throwawaycardboard@piefed.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  
  Get off the Internet for a while.
  
  You first.
  
  It's about the reason for choosing to be single. When you talk about how you won't date anymore because of your looks, people will take exception to that.
  
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  - Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Yeah… Because that’s not healthy at all.
    
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  - angrystego@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Stopping dating because of looks sounds misogynistic. It implies all women are superficial, which is simply not true. I know several cases of men that could be seen as ugly for different reasons, who had no problem to find a partner thanks to their personality.
    
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solrize@lemmy.ml ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I wasn’t familiar with the term: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel#"Blackpill"

It doesn’t sound good at all.

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makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Do incels have some core complaints with validity? Yeah, online dating has been designed specifically to make the majority of people using it feel bad. There are genuine problems that men face in society that women don’t and they don’t get support for. However you can’t pick and choose the members of your ideology, only your choice to share it with them

The ultimate problem is that red/blue/black pill ideology is all rooted in the manosphere and incel culture. By utilizing their terminology you are associating yourself with a group of misogynists, racists, and terrorists

Which is to say someone who says “my MS makes my life difficult enough as is, so I choose not to struggle with dating on top of it” is different from “I’ve been blackpilled because these Stacys won’t consider dating below 8.5/10s”

There’re other points to be made with regards to being “too ugly to date”, why people dislike non-traditional sexualities, and modern dating culture. However, I’d bet if you went into the real world and talked to real people about specific struggles leading to deciding to no longer date without a bunch of internet words you would see a lot more support

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KoboldCoterie@pawb.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

The term black pill, first popularized in the 2010s on the incel blog Omega Virgin Revolt, refers to accepting the futility of fighting against a feminist system. Blackpilled incels are encouraged to either commit suicide or “go ER”/be a “hERo,” referencing Elliot Rodger’s 2014 Isla Vista murder spree that has been called an act of misogynistic terrorism.

(Source: Britannica

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- throwawaycardboard@piefed.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  So as I said, as long as it doesn't translate to misogyny it won't hurt anyone.
  
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  - prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    
    the futility of fighting against a feminist system
    
    Is a bullshit premise that’s not based in reality. This isn’t a “feminist system.”
    
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  - Balerion6@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Did you miss the second sentence or… ?
    
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  - YoFrodo@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    To be frank what youre suggesting is only taking certain elements from the ideology but not some of the largest core concepts. So there’s nothing wrong with that in concept but at that point it’s a different ideology and as such you’d no longer be “blackpilled”
    
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  - DBNinja@lemmy.zip ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    The OP in another timeline: www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYITxGniww4
    
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  - andrewrgross@slrpnk.net ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I want to set aside my skepticism that this philosophy can be separated from misogyny.
    
    Even if it could, it hurts the practitioner. This is a philosophy of nihilistic abandon and self-harm. If someone has adopted a radical belief in their own hopelessness and worthlessness, and the associated beliefs that life for them can hold nothing but suffering, that person is in crisis and needs help. There isn’t a healthy version of that, and we should consider those people at great risk and in need of assistance.
    
    It does hurt someone. It hurts the person who is adopting these views.
    
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  - KoboldCoterie@pawb.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    The term is connected to misogyny. If someone just wants to give up dating and that’s the end of it, there’s no reason for anyone to be ticked off by that idea. It’s the doomer attitude surrounding it and the effects of it that cause problems. You used the term ‘black pill’, which has specific connotations - it’s not simply choosing to give up dating.
    
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  - ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I don’t know… but what that previous comment describes, sounds to me as if misogyny is the core concept
    
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