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Only $50?

⁨531⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ickplant@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0d2f65c0-4fe1-45f3-a569-83534a7dbe5a.jpeg

source

Comments

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    JD Vance would like to know if this couch is still available

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    • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      JD: “no skeet yet.”

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    • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      because he wants it back

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    • demizerone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      OK GOOD!

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  • malloc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    It’s just a little piss, bro. Stop being a bitch

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    • MeatPilot@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Image

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    • goofystench@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      actually, squirt isnt technically piss but female ejaculate🤓👆

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      • Darrell_Winfield@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        It’s piss. Squirting is pissing. That’s been proven beyond reasonable doubt. Will link when I find the research I came across a while ago.

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      • kungen@feddit.nu ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        Nothing wrong with having a piss fetish nowadays; you can call it what it is without shame.

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      • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        Found the girl who “squirts” (or possibly her boyfriend who believes her when she says she’s not pissing on him)

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      • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        Yes, but what most peoplecall squirt is actually piss.

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    • EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Dude, piss baby was right there!

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  • mysticpickle@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Image

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  • LordWiggle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Haha hahaha who would buy this! This is so funny! Does anyone have a link by any chance? So I can make fun of it there, of course. Totally not to make an offer. No no, I would never do that again. Trust me, I’m a professional couch fucker.

    Love, JD

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    • trum_pam_pam@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Always say “thank you” to juicy couchussy.

      JD.

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  • RejZoR@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Considering how much Belle Delphine was charging for her bottled bath water, this is bargain!

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    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Right? This is just a marketing problem. Charge $5000 and photoshop some bikini model on there.

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  • SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Image

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    • CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Need something a drink?

      Image

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  • SoloCritical@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    If they have to advertise no skeet…. There’s definitely skeet.

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  • DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    First thought: “Who would buy this?”

    Followed by the immediate realization that there is a certain subsection of our society who would definitely buy this. Sure, they’d lowball the offer, then try to get free delivery, but they want the couch.

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    • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      … the Vice President of the USA

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      • beejboytyson@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        Dam nice call back

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      • interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        That… Thing is not part of society.

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  • buggybug@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Gently squirted on couch

    uh… what does a roughly squirted on couch look like then 🥲

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    • QuincyPeck@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      You know it when you see it.

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    • joel_feila@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Ever take a fire house to a couch

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  • jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Quagmire would pay $5000

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  • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Well without skeet it’s clearly only worth $30 tops.

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  • Fortatech@gregtech.eu ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Reminds me of a certain American politician…

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  • thatradomguy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Legit question though—as someone who doesn’t get to participate in such activities but: do people who are active with this stuff and who perform it on a bed not wash it after hanky panky? Like I see in amateur stuff that some people definitely put towels on top of the bed and all that but hollywood movies make it seem like people still inevitably sleep in the bed naked anyway without washing themselves. So, all that grime is still bound to get on the blankets/sheets anyway. This has me thinking people do at least go out of their way to wash it or at least replace the sheets the next day but do they really? Asking for me…

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    • SirQuack@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      but hollywood movies make it seem like people still inevitably sleep in the bed naked anyway

      As is customary, Hollywood is lying to you. You don’t fuck and be merry and fall asleep. The ladies usually go pee afterwards (helps for everyone to prevent uti) and with creampies a shower after is basically essential.

      Replacing the sheets depends on how dirty they got, but it can usually wait till next morning. Sex is pretty exhausting and we are all a little lazy.

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      • thatradomguy@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Cool—thanks!

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      • interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        We sleep in the cum, it dries and smells in the morning and we do it again. Then I throw the whole stack of sheets in the washer and take an extensive shower.

        Wash rinse repeat

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    • Fizz@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Mattress protector so youre only really getting the blankets dirty. If there’s a massive fucking puddle I’ll usually change the sheets but otherwise I’ll just shower and change the sheets the next day. If I’m smart I’ll throw down a towel or a shittier blanket but I’m not smart often.

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    • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      One of my partners squirts like a fountain, and we just put a towel or 3 down to catch it so she doesn’t have to sleep in a wetspot

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  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    I always wanted a sofa full of genetic material to let me clone someone.

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    • Pnut@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      You can clone. What’s important is that you ask yourself if you should. I’m not sure we need any more casual couch squirters.

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  • realitista@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Well… as long as it was done gently…

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  • Vanilla_PuddinFudge@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    flips the seat over

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      larger darker stain in the shape of a smiley face

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      • bstix@feddit.dk ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        The face of Jesus

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