"And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?"

Comments

• AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  “that’s cute!”

  source
• vane@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  • Your clock stopped. Looks at the clock
  • No it’s still working.
  • You are bald on tip of your head I saw it when you were looking at the clock.

  source
• axh@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Does none to 60 in ONE minute! It’s garbage.

  source

  • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    You. You’re funny!

    source
  • Randelung@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    It time travels at one second per second and only forwards.

    source
• IndustryStandard@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “How fast does it do 0-60?”

  source

  • recklessengagement@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    About a minute

    source

    • EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      So it’s not even accurate? I’m not sure you got a quality timekeeping device for the cost.

      source
  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    It never gets to 60. For some odd reason it only gets to 59 and then drops back to zero.

    source
  • insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    And then throw it.

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• CherryBullets@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  A classic that always makes people like this angry is the good ole, "Anyways, [Something you are casually going to do today or did yesterday]- " and a hand wave to dismiss the statement.

  It infuriates them lol

  source

  • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Ghosting, I like it!

    source
• owl@infosec.pub ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Woow, what does it do?

  • It tells time.
    What?
  • It tells time and date.
    Thats it?
  • And it looks good.
    You sure about that?

  source

  • EchoSnail@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    And once daylight savings time is done it’ll be accurate down to the hour!

    source
• Clepsydrae@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Look of confusion Does…does that make you happy?

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• Zenith@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “Ok”

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  • pseudo@jlai.lu ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    This.

    source
• Silic0n_Alph4@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  “Your watch cost more than £100?”

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• EndOfLine@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “People with true value don’t need trinkets to convince others of their worth.”

  “Not everybody knows how to make the best use of their resources.”

  “Unless it has a button that stops time, you paid too much.”

  source

  • boonhet@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    All of those likely would make you sound poor and mad to that kinda person. Not sure what you could actually say as a comeback that would work

    source
• umbraroze@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  "I don't have the habit of looking at other people's watches. Thanks for pointing it out, I guess, I might have otherwise missed that detail entirely."

  (Biz-bro mind cannot comprehend this)

  source
• Soleos@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  The statement is to set them apart from from you and to display power. So you could go with something like,

  “Shit, they still make you buy your uniform when you rich eh. Some things never change.”

  But more elegantly. Reassert that they are subject to others’ power/approval and relate to them to assert that they’re no different from you.

  source
• WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  “You got ripped off”

  source
• pineapplelover@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  See this casio watch? Still more accurate than whatever the fuck watch you have

  Image

  source

  • kungen@feddit.nu ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    It even comes with the bonus of extra TSA screening!

    source

    • Dasus@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Image

      source
• Alloi@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  “and i have a piece of cardboard thats worth more than your watch” whips out a charizard

  source
• funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “what?”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that”

  “one more time?”

  “ok. thanks for letting me know.”

  source
• BmeBenji@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “What kinda mileage does it get?”

  “Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

  “Can you get me some more water?”

  source

  • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You just completely nerd sniped me, Ive speent the last 10 minutes trying to estimate the mpg of the tip of a minute hand on a wrist watch

    source
• aliceblossom@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “Wow, you’re really shit at bargaining. They really took you for a ride!”

  source
• Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  You paid that much for a watch that looks like you steal from your grandad?

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• chuckleslord@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “So, you’re both rich and stupid”

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• Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “I don’t get my happiness from material worth.”

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• brown567@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “It’s certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry”

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• Zacryon@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Grabs machete
  Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

  source
• Olhonestjim@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I have people who love me.

  source
• accretion@lemm.ee ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You still use a watch?

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• count_dongulus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Sorry I’m not into bracelets

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• Gorge@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark.”

  source
• Darkonion@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  ‘nice watch!’ then move in and quietly say “oh, hey, it looks like your barber missed a spot back there”

  source
• LavaPlanet@lemm.ee ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Fool and his money.

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• PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “that’s so sad”

  But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn’t going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

  source

  • NikkiDimes@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    If they’ve gone out of their way to draw attention to it, they clearly do care to some degree, whether they directly express it or not.

    source

    • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      There are more reasons to brag and show off than just to seek validation. Their vanity may not be dependent on you.

      source