Submitted 10 months ago by palette@lemmy.blahaj.zone to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
You don’t owe anybody anything, just survival and freedom for yourself and that’s it. You can take care of others only after you are safe and content.
To give an analogy, in case of an airline emergency, you put your mask on first before you help others. You are only responsible for yourself and not others. But if you are all set, then sure you may help others and it is encouraged that you do, but not a responsibility.
This is something each person needs to decide for themselves. Oftentimes people run out of options. Many black folk just wanted to live quiet lives but they knew that was just not going to be. Its why it was such a big thing that emmitt tills mom had an open casket. Its so people could not lie to themselves about what is happening and will continue to happen without change. Similarly smartphones have made issues with police violence undeniable.
The way that I look at it as a CIS male is I don’t go around talking about my sexuality and making it a thing for anyone else to give a shit about so why should anybody else. This is a personal choice and not anything anyone else should be telling you one way or the other how to behave.
I don’t have a problem with what basically anybody wants to do with their lives so long as they’re not hurting anyone else.p
Maybe you do them a disservice. But it’s your life story and your choice.
I can certainly appreciate your lack of appetite for being an activist. I have a mild aversion to activism even for causes I support.
As an individual you can’t be expected to do that and there are many good reasons not to do it, as you could suffer from consequences. As part of a society, all of your actions do shape the social environment around you in small ways. But when the interests of you as an individual with those actions of society clash, you do bear the responsibility of what happens in that society. In my opinion this would apply even to those who have worked against unethical actions, because taken for a bigger scope at a nationwide level, it wouldn’t be feasible to exclude those from reparations either way. Even if the “good” would get compensated with a lower tax, they will economically feel it either way, as the “bad” around them are still sanctioned. And then the ethical dilemma is what could be considered “good” or “bad” at all.
Now taken this generalized context back to marginalized groups, if everyone would be obligated to be an activist, it would punish those unable to cope with the additional stressors activism could entail. Then, the question is who is actually marginalized and who is not, the rich 1% is a minority, but definitely not in “need”. There are people labeling themselves as things which they are not. (Some “leftist queer” folk are more rightwing in their deeds, than actual conservatives.) I also believe those who fight for the rights of those that person itself doesn’t belong to, adds nuances, you can quite often see ideological shifts in people depending on their income. Which gives the question on whether a truly fair solution between groups is attainable, and probably an unsolvable optimization problem, so compromises must happen.
Every policy you go for, will eventually have some people discriminated against in some ways or even actively harm them. No matter what your stance on HRT and medical transition is, there will be some people who should not have done it in the first place, or should have to alleviate their gender dissonance. And whatever line you draw in the sand, there will be something wrong with it. Expecting everybody to strictly enforce some kind of policy by activism, is an ethical burden we can’t place on an individual, but which we involunatarily bear by its consequence.
Marginalized groups need activism - it’s a survival tool. For the same reason, if any obligation to activism exists, it’s for those that don’t need it.
Placing obligations onto those who are already burdened is immoral.
I firmly believe that your existing happily is a form of activism. It may not be as loud as some other forms, but no less important in a world where too many people would seethe just knowing that you are choosing to live your unvarnished truth.
Absolutely not an obligation
Also, what country (if I may ask) ?
I was on puberty blockers from age 11 and a half until 14, then started hormone replacement therapy. I had sex reassignment surgery at 18 and had all my legal documents changed
I see this a lot in vegan spaces where some direct vegans are oblivious to other people’s situations, telling them to drop everything to just protest. No you can just live your life as is.
I see it as a matter of self preservation.
Like the poem says, “I didn’t stand up for the Socialists because I wasn’t a Socialist…”
First, you don’t owe anyone anything.
But consider that you are in a position of relative privilege. Most trans individuals don’t have the resources or support you had during your transition. Most don’t even have access to the medical care you received. The people seeking that same care you received as a child are being demonized and targeted by bigots, fascists, and Nazis.
We all live in our society together, and “activism” is usually just someone standing forward and saying “this is wrong.” Do you advocate for trans rights at all? Or are you worried that speaking out will clue the bigots in on your situation, and you will be targeted for harassment or worse? That’s a legitimate concern, and being outed would undeniably affect the course of your life. I’m not saying any of this to criticize your decisions. But you should recognize that the bigots are winning, and your fear is critical to their strategy.
You have a family to consider. I know I put my family above any other priorities, and you can ignore anyone trying to convince you do do different.
But what if your kids were trans? What if they grow up in a world where it’s encouraged that they hate trans people? What if they need the same care you received? Would you counsel them to hide? Would you encourage them to be proud of their whole, authentic self? Who would be their role model for living life on their terms, undeterred by small-minded dipshits or violent tyrants?
I’m not trans, so I have no frame of reference for what you’re dealing with. But as a parent, I always try to make moral decisions based not only on how it will affect my kids, but also on being the person I would want them to be.
Be safe. Trust in compassion. Have faith that the bad people are vastly outnumbered.
I think that when someone is uniquely positioned to help people, they do have a moral obligation to take action. That may be you, but it may not.
As much as being out or outed can put you at risk in many places in the world, I don’t think there is an obligation to put yourself at risk by being an activist. That being said, there are ways to provide aid to those in need besides activism.
being yourself in this world in ways that are comfortable to you is the way to go. activism is comfortable to some. you being you, in this day and age, is a form of activism sadly. stay strong and happy and healthy! :)
Do you need to be an activist? Absolutely not. You have a chance to live on your own terms in a world that made that really hard. You don’t owe it anything.
That being said… Visibility makes a huge difference, and it’s super important that some vulnerable folk are visible and loud. But remember, they’re the ones putting themselves on the line, so that in the future, it won’t be as bad for those that follow, and that needs to be respected.
For me, being trans was always just a medical issue
This isn’t helpful. Whether you see it that way or not, being trans is not “just a medical issue”. The fact that you were able to live your life as if it were, gives you a position of relative privilege that most trans people don’t share. The truth is, if you get publicly outed one day, it won’t just be a medical issue for you either. So whilst you don’t have to be an activist, you shouldn’t be downplaying the reality that other trans folk do have to face, and honestly, you shouldn’t be pretending to yourself that you are immune to them either.
Live your life on your own terms, and do so without guilt. But even if it’s just in the privacy of your own thoughts, make sure you build your visible peers up rather than mentally separating yourself from them
You absolutely have a right to privacy and your medical history is nobody’s business. Outing yourself for the sake of activism is potentially dangerous and nobody can reasonably expect you to do that. There are other ways to support LGBTQ issues.
I completely agree with you. Of course you’ll find plenty of marginalized groups among activists since they’re sensitized to it and it affects them directly. But that’s still their choice.
I see this rhetoric a lot in very chronically online queer spaces and the issue I’m seeing (other than obviously putting unjustified pressure on individuals who just want a normal life) is that it reinforces the narrative of every queer person being part of “the woke left” as a homogenous blob. I think that’s very misled. Also sometimes in my opinion people are literally just jealous of someone’s passing status so they make up insane stuff to try and bring them down. I mean it’s perfectly fine not to care about passing but you don’t get to judge others for how important it is to them.
Just live your life as the woman you were always meant to be and enjoy that you have the option of doing so. You’ve put in work to get to that point. You don’t owe anything to anyone.
I am cishet white male, so I am probably ignorant. In my opinion you have no bigger obligation to be an activist than me.
However, I do believe all people have a certain obligation to participate unless the cost is too severe.
If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.
I have a lower cost of participating due to my privileges, so I do. If you consider it probable that you will get significant consequences for activism, then it’s just judgement call only you and your family can make.
Moral members of society have an inherent obligation to be activists, for as long as marginalized groups exist.
I tend to think the the obligation to action falls more heavily on the privileged. Those who aren’t marginalized have a duty to use their position to correct the injustices.
I don’t think inherent obiligations exist at all.
i think interment obligation to stand for minority rights exist in all
I’m not sure what a dead/buried obiligation is or how it is different from no obligation.
“I didn’t stand up for the socialists because I wasn’t a socialist…”
Except they are part of the group, so that line makes bo sense in this context.
It is a fascinating philosophical debate! We don’t talk about duties a ton right now, but they are weaved the nto the fabric of US law. bostonreview.net/…/samuel-moyn-rights-duties/
But US law isn’t inherent, either. Some guys just made it up.
Idk, when you have kids they kinda do but that’s already assuming you’ve made the choice to have them
Having kids is an obligation you gave to yourself, unless it was an accident or a rape but that's another story. In both case it is a choice, and I do believe that humans must always make the final decision for themselves.
I would hate being enslaved or trapped into making decisions due to external pressure, and while there are a lot of corner cases, I prefer freedom.
That will give you obligations in society, but not inherent ones. You could choose to be have kids and be a deadbeat parent from the start.
TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website 10 months ago
Just being you and alive, in the actual global context, is an act of political resistance. So no, you don’t need to out yourself.
Liberty and diversity of tactics ✊
Love & Rage ✊be safe out there