THIS ACTION IS NOT ALLOWED > OVERRIDE ACCESS GRANTED
Every goddamn time
Submitted 9 months ago by sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to programmer_humor@programming.dev
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/739f6b8b-11a3-4507-a718-c74b88ca986c.jpeg
Comments
myster0n@feddit.nl 9 months ago
rtxn@lemmy.world 9 months ago
No, no, first you need to reroute, to be able to patch it through, and THEN you can override.
Alawami@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
sudo !!
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 months ago
movie about hackers comes out and is extremely realistic
It’s 16 hours long and mostly just of a dude sitting at a computer typing code
It bombs at the box office.
cynar@lemmy.world 9 months ago
One of the funnier ones is that the matrix actually did hacking right. It was also so quick you don’t notice it.
When Trinity hacks into the power station, it’s legit. She checks the software version, which shows an out of date version. She then uses a known flaw in that version to reset the password.
It’s the only bit of actual hacking in the movie. They obviously knew that geeks would be checking it frame by frame, so they actually did their homework on it.
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 months ago
Hackers shows “real hacking” in the form of social engineering, as well as the bit about the pay phones that, once was true if maybe not by the time the movie came out.
snrkl@lemmy.sdf.org 9 months ago
And it was actually 0day when the production company made the scene…
merc@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Hacking is really a “montage” type activity, but is treated as something you can show in real time.
Like, imagine the A-Team building some weapon out of spare parts but you had to watch the entire build process including measuring, cutting, screwing up the cut, throwing away the part and trying again…
Or, imagine a martial arts film where the hero trains for the big fight… and you include the entire training regimen, showing them getting up at 6am each day to do sit-ups, then following the entire morning run…
Really a hacking sequence should have those zoomed-in calendars with days flipping by and getting crossed out.
If they really need the hack to be in the critical path of the action, it should only be something like:
Boss: We need to hack the satellite!
Hacker: What model is it?
Boss: It’s a… let me see… KU-STRZ-4 out of Azerbaijan.
Hacker: A 4-series? We’re in luck, NSA’s been sitting on a exploit for that model.Otherwise it’s as stupid as:
Boss: We need to defeat Scar Killer in the Kumite tomorrow.
Soldier: I did some basic unarmed combat in boot camp, but…
Boss: You have 24 hours, get training!
Next day, the soldier is massively jacked and is throwing flip kicks etc.onlinepersona@programming.dev 9 months ago
I’ve love to watch a realistic hacker movie, because the shit that hackers get into is genuinely bonkers. For example, some white hats got all the way into Apple’s inventory system and IIRC they could’ve disrupted all of Apple’s logistics. Imagine if a black hat got into that. Or the Ukrainian hackers that got into the taxation system of the Russians and were there for a few months. Or the USAians who got into the biggest Belgian telecom and were kicked out years later by a Dutch security company.
Movies or even better TV series showing the time it takes to get into such systems would be amazing. Day 1 phishing, day 40 established beachhead, day 120 gained access to internal system X, day 121 triggered internal alarm and was nearly discovered but was able to cover up traces, etc.
Nobody watches 90 minutes of football matches. Everyone watches the highlights and that’s what movies could be too.
merc@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Nobody watches 90 minutes of football matches
Um…
jaybone@lemmy.world 9 months ago
There’s a podcast called Darknet Diaries you might like. Skip the first year or so and start after that.
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 9 months ago
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 months ago
I could even imagine such a movie being titled “Highlight Reel.”
Anticorp@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Don’t forget 6 hours of digging through the garage behind the business they want to hack.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
No, I have an outline for a PERFECT realistic hacker movie that would put asses in seats. Basically, make it The Life And Times Of Deviant Ollam.
Imagine a slightly farcical take on a heist movie, like take on Ocean’s Eleven with True Lies’ attitude. It’s kind of a heist movie, except the infiltrating crew has permission to be there from upper management, but no one else in the building knows this, and the stakes of getting caught are they get to tell their client their security is in fact pretty good. So since the stakes are non-existent, you can lean into the lulz a little bit. You have room for eccentric characters, witty dialog, a running gag of how hilariously bad door locks are, and an ending sequence where you’ve got a guy in the security room trying not to laugh as he texts the team leader “Just see what you can get away with.” And then some of the team is deliberately silly, acting like rebellious teenagers on bikes in the parking lot chased by half the security team, wackiness ensues, intercut with the rest of the team breaking into server rooms and just taking over this company.
You can have the gearing up scene explaining what the gadgetry is. “This is an ESP key; it’s a microcontroller with an onboard SD card and Wi-Fi, that we plug into the data wires on one of your badge readers. How do we get it in there? Send two guys wearing high vis vests, one of them carrying a clipboard and watching the other, no one asks a thing. Yeah, there’s a tamper alarm that alerts the security guards if anyone opens the reader…I’ve never seen it hooked up. Now we get a list of every badge used on this reader, and when. See this guy who’s badging in like clockwork every 45 minutes? That’s a guard. And the ESP key isn’t only listening, it can also talk. We can make it send a credential as if the reader did, and unlock this door remotely. Tiffany has two RFID implants, one in each hand. We’ve cloned two different credentials to the chips in her hands, so she can walk up, present her hand to the reader, and it opens, thinking the guard just badged in. She’s carrying a bash bunny; which looks like a USB thumb drive, with a couple switches on the side. It’s actually a little computer that, when plugged into a computer, it can pretend to be a flash drive, a keyboard that can automatically type a whole malicious program really fast, a network device, basically anything we need to compromise a target computer. All Tiffany has to do is walk up to a computer and plug this in. We have it set to put this small text file of an ascii art cow saying “you’ve been pwn’d” on the desktop to prove we’ve infiltrated that machine, but we really could do…anything we want.”
Make me a movie where a guy breaks into a server room in Pepsi pajama bottoms and a t-shirt that says “I’m A Liability” by slipping the latch with a piece of plastic he finds in a nearby trash can.
AKA, make a movie about one of Deviant’s convention presentations. It’ll be endlessly entertaining.
Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Are you constipated again?
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 months ago
I’m not even the poop guy. I’m just the guy with the big blue name that posts a lot.
whostosay@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Are you real sprog? Need a poem, stat
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 9 months ago
surprised Pikachu
dan@upvote.au 9 months ago
Be sure to wear a hoodie in a dark room so that you can hack faster.
MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 9 months ago
Faster hacking with green font.
Anticorp@lemmy.world 9 months ago
With blue lettering projected onto your face, even though it doesn’t match what is on the monitor in front of you.
dan@upvote.au 9 months ago
and it has to scroll so fast that nobody can read it.
ValiantDust@feddit.de 9 months ago
LoremIpsumGenerator@lemmy.world 9 months ago
sudo apt-get update
*im in!
deaf_fish@lemm.ee 9 months ago
vim
How do I get out?!
sneezycat@sopuli.xyz 9 months ago
-:wq
-:q!
-kill the process
-fuck it pull the plug
-put a bomb in the power station that powers your house
WindowsEnjoyer@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
journalctlI’m in!
M500@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
Maybe we took it out of context, maybe they mean that they are logged into their own computer 😂
THE_ANON@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
No didnt you see the black and green text and a big acess granted display they hacked everyone even people without computers
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
I’m the guy who designs those. They pay me the big bucks to make sure a hacker feels at home when violating our Gibson, after all. We’re one big family here.
explodicle@local106.com 9 months ago
Look, it’s got full disk encryption and I’m very forgetful.
snrkl@lemmy.sdf.org 9 months ago
FWIW, Little known fact: Matrix 2 used real vuln (SSH CRC32) for trinity power grid hacking scene.
Even better to know: the scene was completed before the CRC32 vuln was public. So the scene used real 0day vuln…
Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
At least in Mr Robot they talk about real stuff
merc@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Mr. Robot was the best depiction of hacking I can think of. It was fairly realistic while being entertaining too. It shows that anybody who actually wanted to be realistic in a hacking movie could do it, they just choose not to.
pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 9 months ago
That’s because actual hacking is actually pretty boring, from an external viewpoint at least.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Classy@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
For how much fun NCIS was to watch it also was such a groan whenever the “code” sequences came up
Mongostein@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
Need to look busy at work? Ping -i.2 <your IP address> will repeatedly ping your own router. Tell your boss it’s running a diagnostic or something.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
One man’s Linux is another man’s OS/2!
grue@lemmy.world 9 months ago
One of the reasons I love WarGames is that it shows the hacker character actually doing his homework to figure out the correct credentials to get into the system.
Anticorp@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Sneakers is really good about this too. The majority of the movie shows them doing real world research and social engineering.
swordsmanluke@programming.dev 9 months ago
Yup. The fakest thing in that movie is the MacGuffin that can z break RSA encryption.
…Also maybe a bunch of hackers stealing a ton of govt funds, donating it to greenpeace and the NSA not immediately busting heads.
merc@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Yeah, the “magic device” they discover that makes encryption obsolete is unrealistic, as is the way it “decrypts” what shows up on their screens. But, the rest of it is really realistic, down to probing individual leads of a chip to see what kinds of signals they emit.
Samsy@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
HackersPorn-ActorsKSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 9 months ago
me when i connect to an ssh server
niktemadur@lemmy.world 9 months ago
What about DJ Qualls in “The Core”?
While being interrogated in his introduction sequence, he casually folds an aluminum chewing gum wrapper, puts it to his lips and kinda whistles with it for a second, while holding a cell phone in front of his mouth. After this little public display of phreaking, he hands the cell phone over to the hero and says “Here… now you can call anywhere free for life with it”.
sunbeam60@lemmy.one 9 months ago
The main reason I never got into Slow Horses was its utterly ridiculous stereotype of the “computer boffin”. It was so cack-handed it was almost hard to believe.
Zuberi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
Excuse me while I transition my terminal to green
cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 months ago
except lex. she took forever to get in and reactivate the door locks.
FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz 9 months ago
Image
samus12345@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Needs more hoodie and random text and numbers being projected onto his face.