Katana - because katana
First aid kit - for accidental cuts from katana
Flashlight - to see how much I’m bleeding
Two-man tent - place to swing katana in a way that will end up cutting me
Survive the zombie apocalypse
Submitted 11 months ago by balderdash9@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/8561f977-5a51-4449-ba77-cd0c4e2db4e8.webp
Comments
GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I_Has_A_Hat@startrek.website 11 months ago
Why is a bike not on this list? Fuck a vehicle that needs gas, give me some pedal powe.
dirtydan@iusearchlinux.fyi 11 months ago
Never understood that about the walking dead. Gasoline stops being vital after 3-6 months, so years into the apocalypse and everyone’s driving cars, and Daryl has that sweet frankenbike. What are those things running on?
AstridWipenaugh@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Gas is no longer in prime condition after 3-6 months, but is still combustible for at least a year or two. Old gas will damage your engine over time though. Most of the degradation is due to oxidization, so if the gas were in sealed cans, maybe it could last longer.
But yeah, 5+ years in and most gas is unlikely to work in an engine. You’d have to be making some kind of bio-ethanol at that point.
Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 11 months ago
plot twist, the jeep is electric and there is a spinner-bike in the back you can use to charge it with. Only four short days of pedaling will get you 100 miles!
KISSmyOS@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’ll take a foldable solar panel, a tablet PC with its entire storage full of porn, and the dog.
Everything else I need I’ll trade in exchange for a half hour in my dog-guarded porn booth.barttier@feddit.de 11 months ago
Phew. For a second I was concerned for the dog. The internet is a dark place
0x4E4F@infosec.pub 11 months ago
Yeah, I was wondering why there was no peanut butter in the mix 🤣.
SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You could instead have a solar panel, light laptop with lots of nudes, and a printer. Source out the ink and paper from office buildings and trade nudes for stuff.
KISSmyOS@lemmy.world 11 months ago
For that, I’d have to go into office buildings regularly, and they were full of zombies even before the apocalypse.
EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
Solar panel’s not on there.
KISSmyOS@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I know. So I take the dog and the Jeep x3, and sell the three Jeeps to some idiots while the gas still isn’t spoiled.
AnAngryAlpaca@feddit.de 11 months ago
Zomebie outbreak and owning a jeep? Now you got two problems!
hakunawazo@lemmy.world 11 months ago
And both problems is the jeep?
Colorcodedresistor@lemm.ee 11 months ago
[deleted]problematicPanther@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Modern jeeps require regular part swaps every few weeks
Risk@feddit.uk 11 months ago
I’d swap the flashlight for the body armour - easier to find a flashlight out and about.
Demuniac@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’d argue you might need a flashlight to find a flashlight but most homes will at least have a small version that will suffice
0x4E4F@infosec.pub 11 months ago
I was thinking about the german shepherd… regardless if it’s trained or not, it’s a liability, it might become a zombie too.
And I chose the AK-47 because I thought it came with at least 1 round of ammo 🤷.
Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I like the idea of everything is best-case. So a trained pup, a loaded gun with couple of boxes of spare ammo, a new jeep with a full tank, etc.
Nutteman@lemmy.world 11 months ago
4 German shepards for having sex with (i am a white woman from the American south)
SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
I was going to say 4 German shepherds for more innocent reasons, but now my answer would be overshadowed be yours
Kraivo@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Unless some gets fucked before getting fucked
grue@lemmy.world 11 months ago
LOL, imagine thinking a motorcycle or jeep would do you any damn good (especially after the gas you can siphon from abandoned cars has gone bad), when what you really need is a bicycle. Bikepackers and touring cyclists will be the kings of the apocalypse.
youstolemyname@lemmy.world 11 months ago
The Jeep will break down before running out of gas anyways
Deuces@lemmy.world 11 months ago
[deleted]Shiggles@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
The earlier in the apocalypse, the more panicking humans running around, so you’re absolutely correct there. Unfortunately, depending on where you live and how early you realize what’s happening, the roads might be utterly jammed with no hope of getting away from population centers. The bike would be less of a tank, but you’ll almost certainly make it farther - but is that any good? Unless you’re confident in your ability to go full bear grylls, it might be best to just hunker down and make as little noise as possible for that initial pandemonium.
I’d probably stay clear of basically anywhere that you’d wanna go in an apocalypse for those 72 hours, because everybody else has the same idea. Find somewhere with a second story, block or preferably destroy the staircase, and stay as quiet as possible while scavenging what you can.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 11 months ago
I’d still say the Jeep is better shelter than the tent, though not as portable.
Cypher@aussie.zone 11 months ago
There are diesel Kawasaki KLR motorcycles that will run on literally anything, not that they’re very fast but they would at least preserve your stamina for when you need it.
They’re also extremely robust and simple to repair.
Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Assuming best case scenario (a new jeep is shat into my driveway with a full tank of gas) I think the jeep is a MASSIVE boon. It increases movement ability and hauling capacity, and can be used to clear many obstacles you’d otherwise have to go around. Is its life finite? Yes, but it’ll give you that leg up at the start of the situation that may very well set you up for success long term.
grue@lemmy.world 11 months ago
and can be used to clear many obstacles you’d otherwise have to go around.
I’m having trouble imagining any obstacle a Jeep could clear that a mountain bike couldn’t, but no trouble at all imagining the opposite.
Smokeydope@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Water purifier - clean water is almost essential for health
Fire Axe - for fire wood collection as well as wood based structures for shelter and defense. Also it is a decent weapon that takes relatively little skill to effectively wield.
German Shepard - loyal companionship, will instinctively assist in protection/attacking and could be trained to track game
Body armor - reduces risk of infection through scratches to body as well as mild protection against various weapons.
curiousPJ@lemmy.world 11 months ago
4 video cameras. I shall trade for all the above with the only source of amateur pornography.
INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 11 months ago
I’ll pick the dog and we can team up
EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It’ll be the internet 2.0
Lepsea@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Almost nobody picks the katana. Even the people who pick it mocking the sword!
I can’t really blame them because they didn’t give you the option to pick the complete set for the katana to shine. If you use it with fedora you can teleport behind the zombies and kill them!
Nobody knows that the katana has this hidden skill bonus if you use it with fedora because this hidden mechanic only passed to the few chosen people in the secret society hidden under the house that people like to call “the basement”
Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Man, the katana would be a great pick if there wasn’t two better melee options that’ll outlast the katana and offer more utility.
reeen@aussie.zone 11 months ago
I considered the katana since they’re great for cutting exposed areas but honestly I’d rather just sharpen a long stick
RealFknNito@lemmy.world 11 months ago
If we’re going on “brain damage to kill” rules you’re going to need to clean sweep their head off or find a way to the brain. As cool as it is, that’s a big ask for something designed for one swift body shot. I’d look for the spear since it’s the most effective peasant weapon and be real, we’re all about peasant skilled.
UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Is the German Shepard a rescue? Anyway that and the camcorder. I’m making cute dog videos
_TheThunderWolf_@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Username checks out
Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
Gas will expire eventually and you could just hotwire one of the many abandoned cars anyways, if the roads aren’t blocked by said cars. Bullets will run out unless you find a gun shop, in which case you get guns anyways. Water purifying is easy enough to do without a machine.
My picks would be German Shepherd, Axe, First Aid, and Radio.
There’s a reason we domesticated dogs, they are useful in so many different ways like hunting, defense, and security (and companionship). Especially German Shepherds, you can see the damage they do when used by police.
Axes are survivalist 101 and some are practically multi tools despite being simple.
First Aid because infections, zombie or not, are the real killers throughout history.
The radio’s more of a gamble, but it’s your best chance to find a new settlement, monke strong together and all that. Also you can maybe stay informed on what’s happening in other parts of the country. (And it lets me flex my Amateur Radio License).
buzz@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Problem with dogs - they need to be fed.
Its a relatively recent development that u can just walk into the supermarket and buy a bag of dog food that will last a month, u won’t have that in the wild - how u gonna feed the dog?
Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
I feel the tracking and hunting capabilities of a dog will more than make up for what they need to eat.
curiousaur@reddthat.com 11 months ago
I think I’d take the night vision goggles over the radio. You’re much more likely to find a radio. Situational awareness at night will be a huge survival factor.
zaphod@feddit.de 11 months ago
Body armor, first aid kit, machete, water purifier.
If you choose anything that requires fuel or electricity/batteries you’re fucked.
danielbln@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Good luck on foot, brah. I’ll be taking the jeep and hose-sucking fuel where needed. Provides shelter, warmth, storage.
Adalast@lemmy.world 11 months ago
He’s right, unless you study up on making biodiesel. Then you have the upper hand in the argument, as a diesel Jeep can be run on biodiesel. Rendering those fatty zombie corpses to fuel should be a functional disposal method.
Adalast@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’m swapping the first-aid kit for the crossbow, but spot on for the rest. Body armor is rare and definitely raises your odds of survival in the short term after the initial spread. A machete is the ultimate all-purpose blade, good for defense as well as butchering, breeching, and it is easily maintained. And the water purifier is a no-brainer. Waterborn diseases are a real problem in any situation where public utilities become inaccessible and clean drinking water grows scarce.
Assuming that I am obviously able to expand my kit as I survive, the ranged weapon that uses easily craftable ammo would be ideal. A first aid kit could be cobbled together over the course of a few days of persistent scavenging. No promises on the crossbow, they are far less common than bandaids, gauze, sterilization solutions, and splints. Really the thing that would likely be the hardest to source is the suture needle that you should have in there.
I always loved 10k in Z-Nation for using the wrist rocket slingshot because that is truly the king ranged weapon for a survival scenario. Lightweight, ammo that is infinite and easily accessible, and lethal out to ranges that matter. Not to mention that they are very easy to maintain and repair.
All that said, I would likely accumulate the aforementioned electricity/fuel items as I am familiar with the production of biofuels and can build some alternative generators (wind, methane, solar concentrators) for electricity once I have somewhere secure. Methane in particular has always been attractive to me for survival scenarios because anaerobic decomposition is a great way of dealing with biowaste and what is left over ends up making really good fertilizer. Just need a couple of propane tanks, some steel, and a car battery to rig as a welder and you can turn one into a digestor and the other into storage, then get a couple 2 cycle lawnmower engines and some AC motors and you can get a power supply running. At least enough to run some incandescent bulbs. Need a voltage regulator for more complex electronics to keep the line clean, but that is a different conversation.
CulturedLout@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
I picked the same you did, but I don’t know that I’d consider useable arrows easily craftable. Maybe if you had something pre-made for shafts?
phoneymouse@lemmy.world 11 months ago
What’s the body armor for? Zombies will bite you on the neck.
zaphod@feddit.de 11 months ago
I don’t have a PhD in zombiology but zombies will bite you wherever they can. Depending on what kind of zombies we’re talking about a bite alone might turn you or not. So body armor could be useful for some kinds of zombies and utterly useless for others.
AstridWipenaugh@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It’s good for general protection too. It can soften blows from other humans or just accidental injury while scavenging dilapidated buildings. What we consider to be minor bumps and scrapes now can be life threatening when you have inadequate medical supplies, malnutrition, sleep deprived, no sanitation, etc.
Slagathor@lemmy.world 11 months ago
A motorcycle could get you out of the city/infected zone pretty fast though. Not a bad choice.
phoneymouse@lemmy.world 11 months ago
True and all the road will be blocked with traffic, so you can lane split with the motorcycle.
Problem is you’re sleeping in the open air unless you grab the tent. Also can’t really build a collection of supplies.
Maggoty@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Eh, batteries aren’t hard to charge as long as it’s a small item like a flashlight.
PowerGloveSoBad@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Four chain saws
come at me bro
olafurp@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Two for the hands and one for the head?
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 11 months ago
One for both heads
FrankTheHealer@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Water purifier: you need water to live. Otherwise you’ll die in 3 days.
Jeep: While not the most reliable, they can go off-road and can also be a source of shelter in lieu of a house or tent.
AK: Extremely reliable and easy to service. 7.62 ammo can be harder to come by depending on where you live, but regardless, the AK is a solid weapon.
Fire Axe: Good for chopping down trees, cracking heads or breaking down doors. The practicality is what makes it the better option
EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
- Armor, provided it comes with a helmet & is bite-/scratch-resistant
- Doggo, because sensing danger is important & loneliness would almost be a bigger killer than zombies,
- Machete, as a tool & method of defense
- Water purifier, provided it doesn’t require an outlet of some kind
Sidyctism@feddit.de 11 months ago
Camera, motorcycle, ak-47, radio
I call this loadout “twitch streamer of the apocalypse”
Caitlynn@feddit.de 11 months ago
My beloved crobaw didnt even make the list :(
TheControlled@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I read Max Brook’s “Zombie Survival Guide” and “World War Z”. The choice is very clear for me. Armor, suppressed pistol, machete, purifier.
starman2112@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Dog, car, motorcycle, radio. Zombie apocalypses ain’t shit, I live in America. One dude is gonna bite someone and get turned into pink mist by every nearby CCW dude. Those would all be cool to have when we start rebuilding in a week
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Which four will I be least likely to kill myself by tripping over in the night?
768@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Why AK-47? 7.62 × 39 mm would be kinda hard to loot for this audience.
SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world 11 months ago
- Water purifier because I need water!!!
- first aid kit because not having a first aid kit is a very stupid idea
- flashlight because I will need to find my way through the many empty building and shit
- machete because it is quite useful as both a tool and weapon
Pappabosley@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Shotgun, ak-47, pistol, katana. I don’t want to live long term in a zombie apocalypse, just need the firepower for a bit of fun before I go. After I run out of ammo for the shotgun and the AK, I use the pistol to kill myself - the katana is just in case I get caught short at close range
NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 11 months ago
How much ammo does each gun have
AnarchistsForDemocracy@lemmy.world 11 months ago
First Aid Kit, CB Radio, Water Purifier and Flashlight
Pharmacokinetics@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Flashlight, machete, first aid, water purifier.
Vehicles require fuel, and weapons require ammo. I dont know why I’d need a gas mask either.
brianrlawson@midwest.social 11 months ago
Fast zombies or slow zombies?
dab@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’d take the Jeep, two man tent, German Shepard, and CB radio. Might as well go on a roadtrip and treat the zombie outbreak like one long vacation.
barttier@feddit.de 11 months ago
Flashlight - to find my shotgun in the dark.
Shotgun - Im going to cobain me out of this shit
Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 11 months ago
2 picks gang!
Machete & motorbike.
Shiggles@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Don’t forget the video camera to film it, then you can pick one item of your choice to be your loot drop for finding the set piece you just made in a left4dead level.