“The faster you shit the more you can eat”
Then wink.
Every single time.
Submitted 1 day ago by MTZ@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/55abef3c-d514-4f0c-9c7e-bd7693b407b8.jpeg
Comments
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
MTZ@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I mean… that’s just science. Spittin fax!
Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That’s not all you’re spittin
alexquiniou@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
… And that’s ok, because i’m focused on my diarea and not trying to impress a random girl.
Know your priorities.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 22 hours ago
Priorities…
Giving yourself a pep talk in the car before even heading into the store, taking a few deep breaths, and clenching with everything you have while trying to look like you’re walking casually.
Been there…
ayyy@sh.itjust.works 21 hours ago
Bruh…it’s ok to ask your friend for a favor sometimes…
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
It’s not like I had a chance anyway.
sparkles@piefed.zip 1 day ago
Ya for real though, don’t worry, people in medical/human services aren’t too worried about your explosive diarrhea. (I know it’s hard to emotionally detach on this when you’re younger). But…It’s just a job. My colleagues and I have often incidentally been extremely intimate just by virtue of we have to work with people who are sometimes naked, and deal with fluids and the like. In any other context it might be embarrassing to meet someone and thirty minutes later look at a penis together. Nature of the beast etc. Everyone poops!
FrChazzz@lemmus.org 1 day ago
Once went to a pharmacy because apparently one of my kids had pinworms. Which means we all had to take the medicine. Anyway, my wife and I figure that we should all take it the next day (can’t remember the precise reasons, but it had to do with the fact that you have to take a second dose like two weeks later). This determination is made at night, so I have to drive up to the store to pick it up. I have four kids, so we needed to get two boxes of the stuff.
I don’t think much about it until I approach the register area and I swear that management decided to schedule the best looking people to work that particular night shift. Everyone was hot. And here I am, like 10 o’clock at night, holding two boxes of butt worm medicine, suggesting that there’s so pressing a need for this product that I had to get it right away…
Tja@programming.dev 1 day ago
That’s a shame. If you were there to buy aspirin probably all of them would have had sex with you.
mattyroses@lemmy.today 22 hours ago
Bottle of Bayer, box of condoms, bottle of Old Harpers, and . . . your number.
jnod4@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
💀💀💀💀
slaacaa@lemmy.world 1 day ago
“…and some prescription XS condomns please”
hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Well that’s why you also buy a pack of monster condoms for your magnum dong.
MTZ@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Just like good ol’ Mantis Tobaggan, MD.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 day ago
if you think you can get maxx strength diarrhea medication OTC you are sorely mistaken
NauticalNoodle@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
I learned from my doctor about 2mos back that Loperamide(immodium) is fairly strong stuff. I had to get a Rx for something similar that could be taken multiple times a day where as immodium can only be taken like twice a week unless things are severe.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 day ago
i’m sorry, it’s a 2mg pill. with respect, i know people who were on approximately the equivalent of at least 100x that dose. daily. i find it difficult to think of it as “the strong stuff”.
Obnomus@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
RagingRobot@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I went to the dermatologist to have my grundle checked out once and of course they had some hot young college student in there shadowing. Wtf lol
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
I went in to get checked for hemorrhoids when I was like 22 (spoiler alert, I did not have them). There were two college students shadowing the doctor. I was asked if I was ok with them being there. My answer was a firm “No, doctor, I would prefer that these two women my age do not see my butthole today, thank you very much”
slaacaa@lemmy.world 1 day ago
My friend had that at the proctologist
mattyroses@lemmy.today 22 hours ago
Sounds like a shitty situation
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 1 day ago
Just tell her it’s for your boyfriend.
Lexam@lemmy.world 1 day ago
She’s just there to do her job.
snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
Diarrhea runs in the family.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 1 day ago
She’s into scat so you’re in luck.
Old_Jimmy_Twodicks@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
“Scat-ba-da-ba-bap diddly-bop-bah-bah!”
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
Damn, Satan!
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As if it never happens to her?
Kolanaki@pawb.social 20 hours ago
She’s also there to get diarrhea.
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Inevitably? So you’re there for that reason really often?
MTZ@lemmy.world 1 day ago
3x per day for the past 17 years.
BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I have had Crohn’s for 22 years. I am now on medication that has it controlled, it’s wild. But I feel like I don’t have the bowel strength for formed poops anymore! It’s pretty exhausting going once a day. It’s a whole event. Like a sloth.
CluckN@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’ve gotten a stomach bug for the first time in a decade. I’ve been eating bananas like Donkey Kong just to get my stool to resemble Humpty Dumpty.
shawn1122@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
Melania is that you?
Pricklesthemagicfish@reddthat.com 1 day ago
Now this is a shit post
Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 1 day ago
What maxing are we talking about? Starting or stopping?
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Maybe she’s into that shit (pun intended)
snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 1 day ago
The last IBS commercial I saw was a hot model so there’s that.
mech@feddit.org 1 day ago
Hey babe, they call me the flying carpet. Want a ride? It’s gonna get loud and dirty.
FrChazzz@lemmus.org 1 day ago
Unbelievable sights Indescribable feeling Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 1 day ago
She’s impressed by your maximum-strength bowels.
MTZ@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As she should be.
jqubed@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I remember seeing a stunningly beautiful woman at the grocery store, and I looked in my cart and saw lactose-free milk, lactose-free probiotic yogurt, and ultra-soothing toilet paper.