And I just get shame for no sex at all.
Fuck this timeline. I’m out y’all.
Women and men and consensual sex
Submitted 3 weeks ago by stenAanden@feddit.dk to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
https://feddit.dk/pictrs/image/1f8820c6-7059-4281-98e2-89c87f4c0dcf.webp
Comments
peopleproblems@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sex - shame
No sex - shame
Sex with unwilling young teenagers - AT LEAST two different presidents of the united states that we know of.
ReiRose@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Washington and Jefferson both had children with enslaved women. Jefferson with a fourteen year old called Sally Hemings.
malware@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Same. I was shamed by 15 year olds in my first grade of college. Still same, 8 years after. Fuck this life.
WereHacker@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Non-consensual sex isn’t sex, it is an act of violence.
erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
and somehow im the problem when i point this out
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
unironically yes, you attack the status quo, that’s the problem. keep being the problem. fuck the status quo
LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Waiting for you to get attacked by the manosphere for that sentence
idiomaddict@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
On Lemmy? You probably get the absolute worst of it on /c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone , but you do a good job moderating if it’s here, because it never sticks around long enough for me to see it on there!
lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
No one’s shaming you enough for all the non-consensual sex?
fizzle@quokk.au 3 weeks ago
Hyperbole, surely.
LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
checks notes
:(
Witchfire@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sorry to break it to you
Ephera@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
I guess, they might not be talking about individuals, but rather humanity as a whole. So, if a person rapes someone and this becomes publicly known, they will generally be shamed more than a woman having consensual sex (even though some rapists also get to be president, I guess).
But across the board, we have insults that every kid knows, which equate to “woman having (consensual) sex bad”, as well as gossip of the like, and even men being shamed for going out with a woman who has sex.
Compared to that, rape is a rarely talked about…ICCrawler@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
What immediately came to my mind was the phrase, “A key that opens a lot of locks is a good key, a lock that is opened by a lot of keys is a shitty lock.” And generally, that’s something you’re a lot more likely to bump into than rape, which is a much more uncomfortable to talk about for a lot of people and so it’s almost never going to be brought up. Combine that with some rape cases that get swept under the rug with phrases like, “boys will be boys,” “she was asking for it,” or even something as outright cruel as “it’s the only way she’d get laid anyways,” and yeah, where OP is coming from isn’t too hard to understand.
Demdaru@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I honestly cannot comprehend some countriea. Where I live, we don’t talk about raoe because it’s a goddamn tragedy. You can jest or shame virgins or sluts because in the end it has little meaning - but rape isn’t a joke, damn it.
And it isn’t generally swept under the rug here either. Even if woman won’t drag you to court out of shame or guilt or anything, most folk who know will lynch you if they know what you’ve done.
lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
Compared to that, rape is rarely talked about…
There are a few colorful insults on that. Maybe not as common, but that’s more the fault of unimaginative insulters.
minorkeys@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
They absolutely do not, unless you start playing with what, ‘consensual’ means.
TheBat@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
grape
Stop self-censoring for fuck’s sake
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
but the kinds of people who grape others generally don’t feel shame
I think this is probably not true.
the primary tool society uses to respond to grape, assault, prison, ostracizing or murder is, so like, so what is there less shame?
Those tools aren’t equally available to everyone, they are expressions of power, which some people have access to more than others.
Drusas@fedia.io 3 weeks ago
Christ, I wish people would learn to use proper punctuation. I had to read that run-on garbage like three times before I figured out what OP was trying to express (that is not how commas work). I'm still not entirely sure what is meant from the "so what" part on.
lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
shaming isn’t the primary tool society uses to respond to grape, assault, prison, ostracizing or murder is, so like, so what is there less shame?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
xia@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
I don’t think it would be that far of a stretch to have “consensual sex” include prostitution.
halvar@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
so that’s a new way to be looking at things
notreallyhere@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
*powerful men
bluesheep@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Yeah nah. Guys don’t have to be -powerful- to be abusive
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
To get away with it you do.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
Because cops don’t cover for other rapists and abusers by default.
lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
:::spoiler Needs text alternative. Images of text break much that text alternatives do not. Losses due to image of text lacking alternative such as link:
- usability
- we can’t quote the text without pointless bullshit like retyping it or OCR
- text search is unavailable
- the system can’t
- reflow text to varied screen sizes
- vary presentation (size, contrast)
- vary modality (audio, braille)
- accessibility
- lacks semantic structure (tags for titles, heading levels, sections, paragraphs, lists, emphasis, code, links, accessibility features, etc)
- some users can’t read this due to lack of alt text
- users can’t adapt the text for dyslexia or vision impairments
- systems can’t read the text to them or send it to braille devices
- web connectivity
- we have to do failure-prone bullshit to find the original source
- we can’t explore wider context of the original message
- authenticity: we don’t know the image hasn’t been tampered
- searchability: the “text” isn’t indexable by search engine in a meaningful way
- fault tolerance: no text fallback if
- image breaks
- image host is geoblocked due to insane regulations.
Contrary to age & humble appearance, text is an advanced technology that provides all these capabilities absent from images. ::: Who’s doing the shaming?
Why would we shame men in particular for non-consensual sex? Are the other genders shamed less for it?
I don’t think merely shaming for non-consensual sex is an appropriate response. Usually, a criminal offense leads straight to arrest. Aren’t convicted rapists usually stigmatized in prison & after release?
Altogether, a peculiar assertion.
watermelonpaloma@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
‘Aren’t convicted rapists usually stigmatized in prison & after release?’
Many rapists never even get a prison sentence, even if convicted, which many are not. One rapist, Jesse Butler, recently got community service after a conviction.
lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
Right, and no one’s shaming them?
Also
He was 17 at the time but initially charged as an adult.
A minor: charging minors as adults is unjust, and a sentence appropriate for minors should be expected.
- usability
FishFace@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
I don’t think that’s really true. I think that rape isn’t talked about much in comparison to the kinds of consensual sex people get shamed for, and that’s being mistaken for a lack of shame.
The ultimate expression of what society deems worthy of shame is what is illegal. You might rightly point out the abysmal conviction rates for rape in many countries, yet whatever it is where you are, I’m sure it’s higher than the conviction rate for women having consensual sex.
falseWhite@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
What??
aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
i wonder if most men realise they probably need a woman for sex?
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
I’m pretty sure gay men might disagree.
aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
like i said, most.
amino@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
not necessarily, there’s a reason why cops and stepfathers marry women with underage daughters
Nomorereddit@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
I remember Janet Jackson showed me her gangly old titty.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
she didn’t do that. Justin did. and fuck the media for gaslighting everyone and blaming Janet for existing with nipples
Nomorereddit@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
She had removable bra plate, had ripple jewelery and a push up bra on. I dont buy it.
motive: Her career was at its end, and the more talk about her the more she may sell something online.
RedGreenBlue@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
The asymetry is unfair.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
It’s also unfair that it’s spelled asymmetry.
frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 3 weeks ago
Growing up I never heard anything about not fucking people against their will: heard a lot about keeping my legs closed and deserving negative consequences from sex
PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
In fairness, nobody specifically told me not to kill other folk or set people’s houses on fire or sexually harass folk. What I did have drilled in to me was an idea of mutual respect; personal boundaries; how not to be a complete dickhead (some may say I’ve not learned much at all about that bit); and how to coexist with others to make everyone’s day that little bit easier, regardless of their gender identity.
I can only assume those basic life lessons are either not being driven home as strongly as they should be in modern life; or there’s outside influences drowning out those voices.
I’m sorry to hear that you had some arsehole giving you such poor life “advice” though. I hope it hasn’t defined or shaped your values of intimacy. It’s yet another erosion of (what I’m assuming) are women’s rights from an early age, and it’s bang out of order.
watermelonpaloma@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
It’s absolutely the same where I grew up, so sorry you had to deal with that.