May not sound like a dumb question, but this isn’t my first rodeo, but it’s the first time I’ve lost.

In my 20s, myself, gf and bf moved into a house crawling with roaches. She and I spent the first night smashing as fast as we could go. The wall behind the fridge was “black” with roach shit. Easy money. We cleaned like hell and laid boric acid powder everywhere. A new generation of tiny ones came along, died quickly, that was that.

Had roaches in this house for years now. I’ve tried the above trick, no love. Got some poison a friend recommended, works OK, but they’ll be back. Had an exterminator in. He gave me some great tricks and his treatment worked great, but I can’t afford $40 a month until this is finally resolved.

And the kitchen isn’t filthy! My wife cleans and wipes it down every day. Not a deep clean of course, but again, it’s not filthy. There are a few around my desk because I often eat here, I get that bit.

They seem to be in the appliances and wall sockets. Pulled a smart socket today, filthy with roach shit, front and back. They’re coming out of the walls! I could probably figure a trick to bag and nuke the appliances, but the walls?!

HUGE bonus would be some advice on trapping them to feed our chameleon! When my wife sees one she’ll trap it in a little tupperware container and toss them in the lion’s den. I’ve tried some methods I found online, not a single catch. Which is embarrassing because I’m pretty handy, understand basic biology, should be a no-brainer.

If I don’t figure this soon, I’m importing some Huntsmen spiders from you Aussie cunts. No wonder my wife thinks lizards are good luck in the house. (Philippines, Florida, same difference.)

H E L P