Feeling insecure about going to a 'girlie pop' concert as a 30 year old man, am i overthinking it?

Submitted ⁨⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Mike_Hunt@lemmy.ml⁩ to ⁨nostupidquestions@lemmy.world⁩

My wife and I are going to a concert in a few months which is considered ‘girl pop’ and we have standing tickets. I wanted to get a look at what a show by this artist is like, so I search YouTube just to find it’s a bunch of young adult woman screaming anytime something is done like a dance move as an example, but this just isn’t me.

I have a worry that someone is going to start filming me for being ‘grumpy’ or whatever, usually I wouldn’t think this much into it, but I’m already going to be sticking out like a sore thumb and in the current year I always assume I’m in the background of someone’s video at any given moment and I don’t want my awkwardness being confused for anything else other than what it is.

Am I in over my head, or should I just not overthink it and try to enjoy myself?

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BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip ⁨30⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
I went to a Jonas Brothers concert with my wife a few years ago and I had this same worry. I went, was overwhelmed by how much my ears hurt from how loud the entire crowd of women screaming was, and ended up enjoying the performance, even if I feel like I was sticking out for now being that excited.

There was some solace in seeing other dudes in the crowd, probably feeling exactly like I was

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happydoors@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
People don’t go to concerts to look at the audience. If anyone has a problem they are a gate keeping moron.

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Ziggurat@jlai.lu ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Enjoy yourself, have fun with your wife, and don’t overhtink-it, your dick won’t fly away

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- Mike_Hunt@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Dammit, won’t be able to make an insurance claim now
  
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  - rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Eh, what would $24.99 do for your bank account anyway?
    
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VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You’ll be among the pool of husbands and dads who also had to go. Enjoy not waiting for the bathroom the whole concert.

But yes, you are overthinking it. Go have fun and do what you do naturally. Maybe you don’t have to constantly be giddy every second for 2 hours.

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phoenixz@lemmy.ca ⁨55⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
Nah, just go and enjoy yourself

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enbee@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Put on your shortest shorts, ask your wife to do your makeup, and dance like no one is watching.

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czl@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You are overthinking it. Just enjoy yourself and take ear protection — besides the concert being loud, teenage girls scream really loud.

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witty_username@feddit.nl ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Don’t let your perception of femininity and masculinity stop you. Don’t let your expectation of other people’s perception of femininity and masculinity stop you. It’s all made up. Having said that, you don’t have to force yourself to enjoy something you don’t enjoy. However, if you do decide to go, I would recommend to embrace it and try to find enjoyable aspects to the experience.

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- knowone@slrpnk.net ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I agree with all of this. The post is one of those many you come across and think “wow heteronormativity really makes people scared of the most normal things”. But I get it, no judgement of course, it’s society that needs a rewrite
  
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- Mike_Hunt@lemmy.ml ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I think It’s because I don’t really see myself as either, I struggle with both. I know it’s all made up, but it’s all I ever see people talk about online and that could be anyone you walk past, I mean not everybody is chronically online as others, but they still have their views.
  
  Just the other day, some kids lost their ball in a tree, so I go over to try and help (unsuccessfully) and then a man of similar Age and height just comes over and climbs into the tree in front of these kids, and I’m just standing there looking up with them, I felt like a lesser man at that moment, and it was pointed out to me once that I seem to seek the validation of woman for some reason.
  
  Sorry, didn’t mean to get deep, but your comment got me thinking haha
  
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  - can@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    A lesser man wouldn’t have tried to help in the first place.
    
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  - prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Just be yourself, dude.
    
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  - Eyekaytee@aussie.zone ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    damn that sucks :/
    
    i wouldn’t bother to much asking about manliness around these parts, if it was all just made up as they say they wouldn’t care when i call them the wrong pronouns since that’s just made up as well
    
    turns out things that are “just made up” still matter
    
    but you’ve got a whole real life wife so that counts for a bundle👍
    
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cRazi_man@europe.pub ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You will probably feel “out of place” and there will probably be few people of your demographic… But no one cares. If you enjoy your time with your wife and enjoy the concert, it doesn’t really matter.

I been to a bunch of goth metal concerts as a middle aged man. It’s mostly young people dressed in black goth apparel. I’m there as a serious middle aged guy in a normal T-shirt and jeans. It’s never been a problem. Many times the other concert goers will be quite welcoming to share their music taste with someone.

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- Mbourgon@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I’m at “extreme” metal shows. Usually in business casual, and I used to joke that I was a studded leather bracelet and a tattoo under their minimum. Nobody cares, hell, I got hit on by someone asking whose dad I was.
  
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Taalnazi@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
just be free to go, who cares – as long as you can enjoy it, nobody’s harmed. So go and have fun with your wife!

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unyons@feddit.org ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I’d say you should worry about it all you want beforehand, but make sure to go, and make sure to leave those thoughts at the entrance. These thoughts/emotions are there for a reason, but IMHO they are more useful for preparation, not for the event itself.

I sometimes even mime putting such intrusive thoughts into an imaginary box, locking it with a key, and setting it down somewhere, or tossing it over my shoulder. This sort of ritual helps me to really cement my intention of leaving something that I no longer need behind.

Also, having you wife with should be a great help, for obvious reasons. But really you are an adult, as long as you don’t show up in a sailor moon costume I doubt if anyone will be paying much attention to you at all.

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- PostiveNoise@kbin.melroy.org ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Or alternately. 1: study up on a bunch of kickass girlie dance moves 2: acquire a super cute sailor moon costume 3: Go To The SHOW and get your moves on!
  
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Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
While you’re there, you’ll probably see someone twice as out of place as you, and immediately forget about them.

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it_depends_man@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
It’s possible you will feel weird about being there and not enjoy it. I was to two concerts of one of my favorite bands and I just didn’t really get it and enjoy it that much, because it was in a big crowd. The “live” thing just didn’t do it for me, so my conclusion is that I just prefer music by myself.

But the mood at the event itself shouldn’t keep you out, you like what you like and if it’s a cool community, they will not gatekeep it.

My wife and I

Showing up alone would be a bit weird. With your wife, nobody should give you a second look.

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- prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  It depends big time on the size of the venue, for me. I have a hard time enjoying shows in stadiums and like giant amphitheatres…
  
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peacepath@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Just stay with your wife, it is not weird to accompany her…

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zero@fek.xyz ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
What band / singer?

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- witty_username@feddit.nl ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Wrong answers only
  
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  - evening_push579@feddit.nu ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Twice
    
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  - Skua@kbin.earth ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Feminazgul
    
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  - napkin2020@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    BTS
    
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- Mike_Hunt@lemmy.ml ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Jade Thirlwall, former member of little mix
  
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  - zero@fek.xyz ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    You must really love your wife haha. Seriously, try to enjoy the concert. You're already going, so you might as well try to enjoy yourself.
    
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InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Don’t overthink it, have fun, bring good earplugs.
No seriously, there are plugs meant for shows, designed to not butcher it too much, merely attenuate it all a bit.
First, you’ll avoid tinnitus.
Second, it blocks out quite a bit of the other show-goers background noise.

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kernelle@0d.gs ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
If you’re taller, always make sure there aren’t any shorter people behind you. If you’re having fun, smile, move a little, enjoy the atmosphere. You’ve got nothing to worry about and have a great time!

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- Mike_Hunt@lemmy.ml ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  im 6’5, better opt of a hack saw before the show i guess.
  
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  - kernelle@0d.gs ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Hah, just be aware and courteous and it really won’t matter.
    
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fxomt@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Have fun! Don’t overthink it.

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IWW4@lemmy.zip ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
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- Skua@kbin.earth ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  I'm surprised to someone say that they don't think standing tickets are allowed any more, what gave you that impression?
  
  Regardless, being in the standing section is exciting and usually a very good view. It's not necessarily the right atmosphere for every person or every show, but if you enjoy the feeling of being in the crowd as everyone moves together it's great
  
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  - IWW4@lemmy.zip ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
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- prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  
  With that said why on earth did you get standing tickets? That just sounds miserable and I didn’t think those were even allowed anymore
  
  I’ve literally never been to a concert that had seating
  
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- Mike_Hunt@lemmy.ml ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Standing because i have only ever been to one concert 11 years ago and it was in the cheap seats and i do enjoy the music as does my wife but I’m just a very reserved person and i felt like being in a crowd id be the sore thumb but as others have said i doubt anyone is going to be looking at me
  
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  - prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Don’t listen to them, standing section is almost always the right move.
    
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  - Skua@kbin.earth ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    You'll be fine! Especially since you're there with your wife, you've got good company to distract you from whatever anyone else is doing is the show isn't already doing that. All sorts of people show up at concerts, even if they don't always show up in the photos and videos of those concerts as much
    
    I went to a Heilung gig a few years back (incredible experience, by the way) and it was really funny in a lovely way to look at the crowd. It was like a straight 50/50 split of people that looked like the very stereotype of 60s hippies and equally stereotypical metalheads. We all had a great time together
    
    I'm quite a tall guy and a not the most outgoing a lot of the time, so I do understand how it's easy to feel like you're sticking out in a crowd. Thing is though, everyone is there to see the act, not to people-wstch the audience
    
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Takapapatapaka@tarte.nuage-libre.fr ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I'm not sure about "girl pop" concert vibe, but i don't see much video pointing out at people in the crowd in concerts (in fact, i only remember one, and it's not really being mean at the person). Also there may be some kind of survivor paradox here : the video you see of young adult woman may not be a realistic depiction of the crowd, there probably is people just chilling, but they're less interesting to film, so there's less video about them. I'd say enjoy yourself !

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