JayleneSlide
@JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
- Comment on What's the key to a woman's heart and does finding love have a cutoff point? 1 week ago:
- Don’t be ugly, especially not inside, but it helps to look like you at least care about your body and appearance. Added bonus: by going to the gym/hiking/bicycling/being active, you’ll get out more and meet more people. The stronger your network, the more likely you will meet a person who is a good match. Funny things happen when you get deep into active hobbies: you meet more people with those same interests.
- Choose partners because of how well they match with who you are right now. Stated another way: don’t choose potential mates on deterministic physical traits. Sure, everyone wants the super-hot partner. Choose partners because traits over which they have control appeal to you.
- Even if you meet a great person, that person will most likely change. Emotional maturity here is supporting and understanding your partner’s growth. If you cannot accept how the person has changed, end gracefully and amicably. Move on.
- “Keys to her heart:” Communication. Ask, listen. Corollary to that, being explicit about your needs and wants in a relationship. Out of 8 billion people, your romantic paradigm cannot possibly unique. It’s up to you to develop the patience, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal skills to fulfill those needs by nurturing healthy relationships.
- Anxiety and agoraphobia: get help. Empathy by way of anecdote, I have crushing depression, paralyzing anxiety, and nearly intractable ADHD. I spent almost three years in intensive therapy, with two separate therapists, seeing them both every week. TL;DR: want results? Put in the self-work.
- “Feels like my time of finding someone has gone past its chances:” The time is past only if you give up or you’re dead. Here’s a speedrun of how “too-late” it is: I imploded my first two marriages. The second marriage didn’t even last a year, although we were together for 20 months prior to getting hitched. After a few years of working on myself and examining the root causes of my failures, I met my dream partner at 47 years old. We just had our 8-year anniversary.
- “Hopefully I can get out of this deep hole I’m in as I’m in a terrible rut right now:” When you’re in a hole, stop digging. Change whatever it is you need to change. Otherwise if you keep doing what you’ve done, you’re going to keep getting what you got.
- Comment on Another WSJ banger about why the poors aren't doing more 2 weeks ago:
My anecdote was unclear; I apologize. My parents suuuuuuck, are boring AF except as a case study of Conservatives, and their only contribution to the world will be their absence when they’re gone. My parents’ best friends were a lifelong exemplar on how to live life and leave things better,
- Comment on Another WSJ banger about why the poors aren't doing more 2 weeks ago:
Growing old is compulsory; growing up is optional. My boomer parent besties taught me that. They were awesome, hard-partying, and so full of life. They would take me for long weekends and vacations with them, doing fun shit including breaking his RC cars doing ill-advised shit. He was an EE for Phillips NA and she was an EE for IBM. We stayed in close touch until they died.
If my own parents are what adulthood looks like, nah, I’m good, thanks.
- Comment on YSK about 15 bean soup. 1 month ago:
Result: there are 16 beans.
- Comment on Pirates are just hyperindividualized, privatized navies engaged in a competitive market with one another so how can they be worse than navies according to the logic of capitalism? 2 months ago:
I have a hypothesis that the Nassau pirates were a successful socialist economy. The Flying Gang/Republic of Pirates was founded mostly from former privateers (legally sanctioned and “licensed” marauders). The democratic and socialist nature of the republic was a growing threat to royalty and the American ruling class, especially given that Africans could be full crew members and even captains with all the rights afforded those roles. Furthermore, European royalty and American capitalists were the only ones “allowed” to pillage native lands. The pirates were in turn sacking European and American ships of their ill-gotten and exploitative gains.
Having a socialist, comparatively egalitarian and equitable society amidst the Carribean sugar plantations was too much of a threat to the ruling classes. The pirates were ruthlessly pursued and purged from history. Sure, King George I (and some others? don’t recall) first tried to bring the Nassau pirates (back) into the fold with offers of amnesty. This is analogous to offering modern engineers well-paying jobs; most terrorists whose names you know start out as engineers*. The ruling classes first wanted to put the pirates’ skills to use for their own gain. Benjamin Hornigold was one who returned, hunting down his former peers.
*think about that the next time you run across a bored, disgruntled engineer
I find it very odd that books on the golden age of piracy all remark how the pirates supposedly kept no records, yet discuss at length how the pirates had healthcare, disability, pensions, equitable wealth distribution… these things all require assiduous record-keeping. And so my bullshitspiration is that there were records. But the campaign to wipe out the pirates was so thorough that we are now led to believe that the pirates were just brigands and chaotic anarchists.
- Comment on NSFW on Lemmy 2 months ago:
That’s your example of softcore porn? There’s much racier content on magazine covers in the grocery checkout line. Stop trying to impose your puritanical aesthetic on the rest of the world. It’s called /all for a reason. What’s wrong with you?!
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
Negative. I got mine at 23, but only because it took me five years to find a doctor who would perform it.
Good luck. Also, the recovery times are very serious.
And everyone is different (duh), but there has been a complete absence of regret. Added bonus: my partners have been very appreciative that the onus of birth control is not on them.
- Comment on Why do some companies like a utility put out ads? 3 months ago:
I see a lot of “For the PR” comments. This is only a fraction of why ads are purchased by utilities, large companies, and other entities with whom you never directly do business. The overarching reason they purchase ads is to have influence over narratives by those networks.
Source: used to develop software in the energy sector for a multinational; my employer and their corporate customers regularly bought ads to help bolster energy efficiency initiatives. These initiatives and interventions are frequently countered and opposed by exactly the corporate dickwads you think would oppose reduced consumer energy consumption.
- Comment on I got herpes. What can I expect? 4 months ago:
I had a partner with genital HSV-1. YMMV, but in general:
- No BFD; the stigma of HSV is the result of a marketing campaign in the 70s (not 100% on the date) by a company selling HSV treatments
- Be honest and inform your prospective partners; yeah, some people who haven’t done the reading are going to react negatively
- Antiviral treatments are available; the one my partner was a daily pill
- In eight years of unprotected sex with her, she never had an outbreak and I test negative
- You may never have another outbreak, you may have regular flare-ups, or something in between
- Talk to your doctor and any take all of my previous comments like the Internet rumor it is
- Comment on [deleted] 5 months ago:
Edit: A society that has not long since been wiped out because it stood in the way of greed.
That’s seriously moving the goalposts of your original statement.
The Salish Tribes lived in the Pacific NW for ~13500 years, which is a pretty long run. They were quite egalitarian, flatly organized, and lived in balance with the ecosystem. There are other long-lived Native American groups to also consider, such as the Iroquois. See: “The Good Rain” by Timothy Egan, “Braiding Sweetgrass” by Robin Wall Kimmerer. That last book suggestion is a bit more tangential, but the point comes across.
Looking at this with a broader lens, 99.9999+% of all species ever have gone extinct. If you look at societies as a type of species, yeah… the less bellicose, less extractive species will get wiped out by the more avaricious until the ecosystem falls too far out of balance to sustain that behavior.
- Comment on The last note taking app you'll ever need 5 months ago:
I don’t really get all the hate on the comments.
Agreed. “Oh no! Not an ETL!” I wish more applications were backed by MySQL, MariaDB, Mongo, etc. Give me the option of encryption at rest, and when it’s time to change apps, I have granular control over everything.
On the other hand, the advantage of all the hate is everyone presenting their faves and providing their reasons. So …net win for the audience?
- Comment on [deleted] 5 months ago:
I came in here for this. Thank you, kind stranger with distinguished cinematic taste.
- Comment on Why is it so hard to buy the same toothbrush twice? 5 months ago:
orthodontic sneakers
How does your footwear straighten your teeth? :D
- Comment on YSK You don't need Teflon pans for nonstick 5 months ago:
The first hazard to my pans is clunking around while at sea. This is mitigable by putting a cloth in the pan to protect it from other pans. My partner made a bag to hold our ceramic pan. But then the bag got nasty moldy, as porous things always do when sitting in a compartment on a boat. Then our silicone spatula wore out, like they invariably do; I’ve had the same stainless cooking utensils for going on 30 years. The ceramic pan was given away at our next port.
And ceramic pans still wear out with use, regardless of the level of care. They just last a bit longer than traditional non-silicon nonstick pans.
- Comment on YSK You don't need Teflon pans for nonstick 5 months ago:
Carbon steel FTW. I have a hand-hammered carbon steel wok (as well as one carbon steel knife). I live on a sailboat which means salt air. These two pieces of carbon steel perform so well that I’m willing to accept their higher maintenance “costs” (cost, in the effort context).
- Comment on YSK You don't need Teflon pans for nonstick 5 months ago:
Some people, like me, can’t possibly keep non-stick pans safe. I live on a sailboat, and the effort to keep non-stick pans (even ceramic) safe from damage is disproportionate to the advantages. Also, I am away from resupply for long periods of time. If my pan gets damaged, I can’t just hop down to the store to replace it.
- Comment on YSK You don't need Teflon pans for nonstick 5 months ago:
I love how Teflon pans perform. However, some people, like me, can’t possibly keep non-stick pans safe. I live on a sailboat, and the effort to keep non-stick pans (even ceramic) safe from damage is disproportionate to the advantages. Also, I am away from resupply for long periods of time. If my pan gets damaged, I can’t just hop down to the store to replace it.
There are other cases, such as people who own birds. Overheating Teflon pans can result in PTFE toxicity in birds.
- Comment on YSK You don't need Teflon pans for nonstick 5 months ago:
Some people, like me, can’t possibly keep non-stick pans safe. I live on a sailboat, and the effort to keep non-stick pans (even ceramic) safe from damage is disproportionate to the advantages. Also, I am away from resupply for long periods of time. If my pan gets damaged, I can’t just hop down to the store to replace it.
- Comment on YSK You don't need Teflon pans for nonstick 5 months ago:
No tinfoil hattery for me. I love how Teflon pans perform. Some people, like me, can’t possibly keep non-stick pans safe. I live on a sailboat, and the effort to keep non-stick pans (even ceramic) safe from damage is disproportionate to the advantages. Also, I am away from resupply for long periods of time. If my pan gets damaged, I can’t just hop down to the store to replace it.
There are other cases, such as people who own birds. Overheating Teflon pans can result in PTFE toxicity in birds.
- Comment on YSK You don't need Teflon pans for nonstick 5 months ago:
Some people, like me, can’t possibly keep non-stick pans safe. I live on a sailboat, and the effort to keep non-stick pans (even ceramic) safe from damage is disproportionate to the advantages.
- Comment on YSK You don't need Teflon pans for nonstick 5 months ago:
Some people, like me, can’t possibly keep non-stick pans safe. I live on a sailboat, and the effort to keep non-stick pans (even ceramic) safe from damage is disproportionate to the advantages.
There are other cases, such as people who own birds. Overheating Teflon pans can result in PTFE toxicity in birds.
- Comment on What techniques do bad faith users use online to overwhelm other users in online discussion and arguments? 5 months ago:
I love Innuendo Studio’s stuff. Such a bummer that he’s most likely quitting.
- Submitted 5 months ago to youshouldknow@lemmy.world | 181 comments
- Comment on Why does digital violence against LGBTI people in Thailand and Taiwan continue even after marriage equality? 5 months ago:
What you propose is simple (as in simplistic), but far from easy. Content moderation at scale is extremely difficult, if not impossible. See “Masnick’s Impossibility Theorem.”
Also, deplatforming bigots is difficult and ineffective:
- www.cl.cam.ac.uk/archive/rja14/…/vu2023no.pdf
- theregreview.org/…/mcdonald-the-limits-of-deplatf… (bonus link/spoiler alert: it’s a monopoly issue theregreview.org/…/englebert-a-role-for-antitrust…)
- Comment on You never forget your first 6 months ago:
Right there with ya, except I gave away all my consoles. Original 2600, 5200, Intellivision, NES, SNES, Game gear… on up through my two 360s. There were since esoteric ones in there, and some real stinkers: CD-i, 3DO leap to mind.
- Comment on Steam Deck / Gaming News #13 6 months ago:
Yes please to the interviews! And as always, thank you so much for these! I always get a happy bounce when I see your banner appear in my feed.
- Comment on Your Phone Isn’t Eavesdropping on You to Show You Ads (It’s Worse Than That) 6 months ago:
The relationship correlation data makes a lot of sense if only from a bandwidth perspective.
- Comment on Your Phone Isn’t Eavesdropping on You to Show You Ads (It’s Worse Than That) 6 months ago:
Correct. I can definitively say “I don’t know how this happened.” But I do know it creeps me out and spurs me to speed up my privacy efforts.
@Marty_Man_X@lemmy.world and @TORFdot0@lemmy.world both make great points, both of which can certainly explain the sudden change in suggestions.
- Comment on Your Phone Isn’t Eavesdropping on You to Show You Ads (It’s Worse Than That) 6 months ago:
Anecdote: (a little background) I don’t typically deal with narcissistic people; I’m not troubled by narcissists in my life. My tech life is pretty well locked down, but it could always be better (working on it). And my YouTube suggestions are tightly, carefully curated to topics pertinent to my professional and personal projects.
I had an utter piece of shit contractor working for me on a project; he was a grifting, conniving, manipulative shitbag. When I outright fired his ass, he first got all self-righteous then tried to play the victim, but I wasn’t playing any of his games. My phone was sitting on the workbench next to me.
The next day, I opened YouTube because an engineer I know told me he dropped a new video on software we recently discussed. There among my suggestions were a bunch of videos on how to deal with narcissists. So somehow, in only talking with the contractor (he doesn’t use email, text, or other electronic communications), YouTube decided I was curious about dealing with narcissism. I’m morbidly curious how YouTube made that decision, and whether it was audio or “we know you’re associating with this guy who we identify as a problematic narcissist and here are some resources.”
Now, I’m just some douchecanoe on the internet and you should probably dismiss me based on that alone. But GODDAMN, the data points sure do pile up quickly on how deeply we’re being surveilled.
- Comment on Steam Deck / Gaming News #11 6 months ago:
Have you read “Red Team Blues” by Cory Doctorow? And if so, how did you feel it captured Red Team work?