Huh…
Part of these types of things generally seem like a well-intentioned idea, but it’s also so creepy, scammy, and gross. This data won’t stop here by any means, and will be sold or used in a million different even shittier ways. Pretty fucked.
Women are anonymously spilling tea about men in their cities on viral app
Submitted 5 weeks ago by fantawurstwasser@feddit.org to technology@lemmy.world
Comments
just_another_person@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
BombOmOm@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
It’s fine, no reason to sell the data, the service was literally just breached!
Gork@sopuli.xyz 5 weeks ago
Don’t these companies know how to properly configure a database? This seemed like it was completely preventable.
starman@programming.dev 5 weeks ago
Hahaha, that’s hilarious. I’ve just seen it on /g/ today.
just_another_person@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
😂
yardratianSoma@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
yeah, well-intentioned things tend to go sour when exposed to the glow of anonymity on the internet. Starts off innocent, and goes downhill fast.
The creator, Sean, stating that he started this app as a reaction to the online dating scene his mother experienced, seems fine: an anti-catfishing app would be great.
To give the devil their due, the data they collect might also be valuable as data on how women discuss men online, which at a cursory glance seems to favor far more hyperbole than I see in everyday life.
Keyboard@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Yea I agree with you
simplejack@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 5 weeks ago
ksigley@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Creating a digital social hierarchy was on my 2030 bingo card… dang.
Goretantath@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
And they got the idea from the two prior databases.
lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 weeks ago
At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from the classic sci-fi novel " Don’t Create the Torment Nexus
Keyboard@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Oh yeaaa hahahaha you are right 😂😂😂 sounds just like that episode
CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
So I’ve had multiple GF’s who were physically abusive, cheaters, chronic liars, gaslighters… so is there a version of this for me? Or are men never victims still?
So glad this didn’t exist like ~15 years ago. My one ex, who decided to start a relationship with her co-worker, while we were looking for and then financing a house… When I broke up with her (like 1 week after closing), while I was trying to process the betrayal, she took to Facebook and text messages spamming EVERYONE a fake story about me, trying to pass herself as the victim. Even including a fake pregnancy! All to make me look bad because I caught her cheating. Thankfully, this app didn’t exist, and several of my female friends reached out to me for my side of the story.
But all the “stories” on that app, 100% vetted, right? We get unbiased, both sides of the story, right… Evidence was required… right? Because imaging the harm someone could do if they were just petty, or scornful, of just bored. It’s not like women have ever made false rape claims… right…
I’m not trying to imply my situation is what all men go through… but you can’t just dismiss it, or other men, because it doesn’t fit into your social media-fueled narrative. Yes, some men suck (and that’s selling it short). But, women are just as capable of the same level of suck. We are all, after all, human.
lenz@lemmy.ml 5 weeks ago
To answer your question, there have been apps like this for men… but they keep getting taken down after users start posting revenge porn.
kieron115@startrek.website 5 weeks ago
People suck, hopefully you were able to take her to court for defamation because what she did is almost the definition of libel where I live (Maryland, US).
theparadox@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
People who pretend to be victims upset me almost as much as people who victimize others (they are not equal, but it is still so fucked up). Victims have a rough enough time already being taken seriously. It doesn’t take more than a few false positives to completely take the air out of legitimate accusations from victims. I wish there was some way to solve this problem.
Kyuuketsuki@lemmy.ml 5 weeks ago
I don’t know why they upset you “almost as much” - people who pretend to be victims are in fact people that are victimizing others. “Other sides” notwithstanding, you said it yourself in so many words: they’re also further victimizing actual victims.
I frankly find it more inexcusable.
kyub@discuss.tchncs.de 5 weeks ago
Generally yes but it’s not nearly always so clear cut that one is 100% the offender and the other one 0%. Which is why attention to details, context, sophistication, listening to both sides before coming to a conclusion, etc. Is so important. But guess what kind of things get lost when taking part in such a one-sided blame game on the semi-anonymous internet.
Apps like this but also social media more generally allow for one-sided public naming and shaming of Individuals who probably don’t even know about it. It’s problematic because it can be deeply unfair.
I get that there is also value in women protecting themselves against predators but more than likely most content within the app/service is probably one-sided public blaming and gossiping.
And as we all know from right-wing propaganda, being the first to make a bold claim public and generate headlines with it is very powerful and spreads the message far and wide, whether true or false, and many will just believe it’s true without further investigation.
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
I also have been attacked by an ex.
I can see both sides - if it’s an app about suffering abuse, all should be welcome vs there aren’t enough women-only spaces online and those that exist are frequently brigaded.
Both have reasonable arguments. Likely a compromise where a filter could be set where you can choose to opt your posts into the women-only feed.
However, my argument would be this app is bad and no one should be on it. Even if all the content is true, a gossip app that covers legally questionable things is likely not a sensible place to hang around.
Bgugi@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Inb4 “found the bear”
givesomefucks@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
“He’s a cheater,” Walker said, reading some of the comments on one post out loud.
“What clubs does he go to?” another person asked on a different post. “He’s cute.”
That illustrates the big problem…
Some guys are lying assholes and horrible people, but so are some women.
It’s not going to take long for them to get massively sued, there’s no way they’re vetting the posted info, and it’s literally cyber bullying.
The guy (yes it’s a guy) who made and owns this is a fucking idiot for not seeing the lawsuits coming.
nulluser@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Some guys are lying assholes and horrible people, but so are some women.
and some guys anonymously posing as women online to undermine the competition.
givesomefucks@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Lol, reminds me of a different thread about trump pretending to be a woman and writing into newspapers:
“Based on the fact that I work for Donald Trump as his secretary—and therefore know him well—I think he treats women with great respect, contrary to what Julie Baumgold implied in her article … I do not believe any man in America gets more calls from women wanting to see him, meet him, or go out with him. The most beautiful women, the most successful women—all women love Donald Trump.”
Carolin Gallego December 7, 1992. (Not a realperson)
wampus@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
Outside of the crap going on in the US fascist resurgence, women are generally defined as a minority that requires equity / special benefits and protections. Making an app to “protect women” by crowdsourcing information about potentially predatory / negative men is viewed as ‘good’, and would likely be ‘ok’ by many western country standards.
Making an app about women, with similar ‘experiences’ reported by guys, would be considered predatory, and would get shut down.
We can already see plenty of related things out and about – like “women only” companies getting applauded by govt / media, while the same sources shame any business that doesn’t attempt to get 50%+ women on staff. We shut down gentlemen’s clubs for being discriminatory, but we cheer women’s only spaces. Genders are not treated equally in the public’s eye, and it generally skews in favour of benefiting women at this point, especially once it hits media/govt/courts.
I think this is the more realistic take on how it’d play out.
bathing_in_bismuth@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
Imagine if the genders were swapped in this situation
Bgugi@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Or if this was targeted at virtually any other category of people
Lfrith@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
Yeah, my thoughts were having people encouraged to add on information they know on top of public information is a gold mine for governments. Someone could opt out of social media and not even have a phone or computer, but now you could have citizens themselves creating profiles on their behalf and providing information on individuals like political leanings. People are just thinking dating because that is what the site is about.
But, my thoughts went to how a site could do the same for whether someone is legal or not, whether they are pro government or not, etc.
joel_feila@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Oh god rate my maid.
Numenor@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Tea just suffered a massive data leak
Wazowski@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Gotta be a special type fuckbrain to give this app a photo and a copy of your gotdamn ID.
gian@lemmy.grys.it 5 weeks ago
<sarcasm>Else how can you certify you are a woman ? We don’t want a man lurking around</sarcasm>
echodot@feddit.uk 5 weeks ago
Yeah that’s what the article is about
socialsecurity@piefed.social 5 weeks ago
There is no way this would get abused by threat actors and mentally unstable types!
kent_eh@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
Or by a vindictive ex.
percent@infosec.pub 5 weeks ago
Kinda wild that app stores allow something like that. I wonder how long it’ll take for someone to build the same up, but with the roles reversed: Men anonymously talking about local women 😬
echodot@feddit.uk 5 weeks ago
In theory it should be fine the problem is women always assume bad intent on the part of men, and good intent on the part of other women despite a fairly obvious fact that that’s ridiculous.
The problem is there doesn’t seem to be any system in place for review or correction. What if there someone who just doesn’t like me and posts photos and lies about me? Not only would I have no opportunity to correct the record, but unless someone I knew who was on the app told me about it, I wouldn’t even know because men aren’t allowed on.
Lfrith@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
As someone who’s stayed away from creating accounts like Facebook the concept of being encouraged to share photos and real identities of people who haven’t consented to being on the social media site is really creepy to me.
Its like some random social media account shows up and you never signed up but a profile for you has already been made and has all these photos you never even shared on there because someone chose to upload them in your place.
I’d rather people choose not to associate with people who don’t have an account that has vetted on safety than be opted into something like this without choice.
douglasg14b@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Of course they would. It’s only allowed as long as the genders aren’t flipped.
InFerNo@lemmy.ml 5 weeks ago
There was a forum in the Benelux that did exactly that and they had to shut down.
ChickenAndRice@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
Android users report the app here: support.google.com/googleplay/answer/2853570?hl=e…
honestly I doubt it’ll do anything but it can’t hurt to try
StraponStratos@lemmy.sdf.org 5 weeks ago
This is fucked up.
jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 5 weeks ago
If I was going to make something like this, it would have to incorporate trust chains. I don’t care if some maga-hat says this lady is horrible. I care if my good friend Alex says she’s horrible. One person’s “this person won’t shut up about communism” is a big red flag (no pun intended) but for someone else that’s the dream.
When you sign up, you’d need to be referred to someone or be a root node. Anyone connected to you can be weighted differently. If some section of the tree is misbehaving, prune it.
But that’s a lot of work
pennomi@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Same thing should be done with product reviews, and social media comments, etc., etc.
Really if someone makes a robust way to have a trust chain that integrates into the Internet at large, that would prevent a whole universe of problems we have in modern society.
elephantium@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
It makes me super uneasy. I can easily see this type of model being expanded and applied to more and more things.
Call for a refund because something you ordered never showed up? Wrong trust chain, you’re automatically lying, refund denied.
Report someone for T-boning you? Wrong trust chain, you’re now arrested for hitting them.
Etc…
yardratianSoma@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
I like where you’re going with this!
Lemminary@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Some of the men’s comments on here venting about how rough they had it dating really need to listen to women’s dating stories more often. The level of violence does not compare.
beegnyoshi@lemmy.zip 5 weeks ago
I don’t want you to take me badly, but to me this comment sounded really demeaning. Obviously women have it way worse than men, but you see a comment with a men venting about their personal experiences and the first thing that comes to mind is “women have it worse”?
I could understand this comment in the context of the app, and how people are making fun of it when its purpose is to try to solve such a common and awful, awful problem in dating–but in in the context of the comments of men venting here, it really just sounds like you’re invalidating their experiences just because they’re not women.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
and the first thing that comes to mind is “women have it worse”?
Yes, because I’ve seen it and I had to intervene way more than I ever wanted to. We’ve had our fair share of violent domestic disputes in the family perpetrated by the men, I’ve seen it out on the streets, and lately, I’m watching all these videos of stories of women online who feared for their safety.
I’ve seen women mistreated in public, some being threatened with their lives, I’ve had family members impregnated against their will, my neighbor was literally choked on the street outside my window, women being held at gunpoint by their partners (I was there), and I’ve found out through gossip that the little girl I used to live with when I was a kid was found dead in a fucking ditch because of an ex. So yeah, I have no pony in this race as a man dating men, and yet I have plenty of reasons to think straight women have it way worse.
sounds like you’re invalidating their experiences
No, I’m comparing the grievances, which are perfectly valid and understandable on their own, but there’s no comparison, especially as a reason to create such an app.
It really sucks that a woman led you on but ultimately turned you down and you’ve spent the last decade mulling over it, but it isn’t quite the same as getting a brick thrown through a window a few times as part of a campaign of terror orchestrated by a salty coke-head ex who won’t leave your little sister alone and the police seem too eager to keep letting it happen. So yeah, kinda different when you factor in the readiness to go violent.
kieron115@startrek.website 5 weeks ago
Spoken by someone who has clearly never been emotionally abused by a woman. Not all violence is physical. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Spoken by someone who has also been emotionally abused by men, mind you. These women and I have a common subject.
reksas@sopuli.xyz 5 weeks ago
violent assholes make things worse for both men and women. Women for obvious reasons and men because women have to be more wary.
Krudler@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Clueless.
Women are insanely violent and abusive to men, just not so much physically.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
My government issued a report a few years back that estimated male vs female domestic abuse rates to differ in about one order of magnitude.
Also, for every one tragic story about one man’s abuse I have about ten more from women.
It’s lopsided in both quantity and severity, don’t even.
joel_feila@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Do they need to?
yeahiknow3@lemmings.world 5 weeks ago
Yes. Everyone should listen to everyone else. And as a man, I promise you women have it wayyyyyy worse. I definitely won the gender lottery. Sorry ladies and Godspeed.
hunnybubny@discuss.tchncs.de 5 weeks ago
This is psychotic.
Vanth@reddthat.com 5 weeks ago
Friendly reminder that Facebook started as FaceMash, an app for men at Harvard to rate the attractiveness of women.
Both are bad. At least these women are nominally using it for safety and not just looks rating.
Finally, I would be really darn cautious of using any app like FaceMash or Tea. Seems like a great way to get sued for defamation. Or to become the target of escalated behavior of one of the bad ones.
dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 weeks ago
Wazowski@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Back in the Google Glass days, I theorized that it wouldn’t be long before you could look at a person walking down the street and near instantaneously have a full profile of that individual, their age and address and family and everything, with Yelp-style reviews commenting on how the subject is a huge dick, or has a huge dick, or kicks puppies, etc. “Free”, of course, encumbered only by ads for bullshit dating services, and with just the minor inconvenience of full access to every goddamn piece of data on your phone.
I am only surprised that this kinda shit hasn’t happened much much earlier.
cronenthal@discuss.tchncs.de 5 weeks ago
Thank God we have the GDPR in Europe.
kieron115@startrek.website 5 weeks ago
How is this not a stalking app?
apex32@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
What a weird place some societies have come to.
scottrepreneur@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
People should bombard them with DSAR requests.
If you’re in a state that support data subject removal requests, like California, email support@teatheapp.com and say this is a formal DSAR request to remove all of your PII.
They have 45 days to follow through.
Blackmist@feddit.uk 5 weeks ago
Some salty content here for no reason.
Nobody is writing about you, misogynists of Lemmy, because nobody is dating you.
thedruid@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
This is a nightmare. Some mentally deficient vigilante with delusions of grandeur and a fist full of painkillers would use this as a hit list.
.MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 5 weeks ago
“What clubs does he go to?” another person asked on a different post. “He’s cute.”
Clubs? Are we in the 90ies?
joel_feila@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Finally i have a way to explain my feeling about this. This is just yelp for people. Yet another attempt to rate people. Didn’t Candance owebs try to make something like this years ago but for reporting racists?
m3t00@piefed.world 5 weeks ago
viral aka. gossip. some can't get enough
Maeve@kbin.earth 5 weeks ago
Intrusive permissions/data collection/sharing, including location.
roserose56@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
There is a video in the article, where a a woman says “are we dating the same ma?”. Like women don’t date multiple men.
Apart form that, things never say secret, soon or later will come out.
fartsparkles@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Founded by a man to enable women to redflag men?
What’s your bets the dude secretly hides posts about men he’s friends with etc?
Feyd@programming.dev 5 weeks ago
Oh great another centralized repository of data about people that definitely won’t be abused by bad actors
bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 weeks ago
Anddddd…, it’s already been breached: www.404media.co/women-dating-safety-app-tea-breac…
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 5 weeks ago
This post is directly under a post about the breach in my feed.
Feyd@programming.dev 5 weeks ago
Oooooooooof
Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 weeks ago
Saw that coming.
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
Yeah, it sounds like some well intentioned but extremely misinformed and unskilled (in the context of software and systems engineering) people just vibe-coded the thing together, and (shocked pikachu) it was a complete piece of shit security-wise.