How did they not mention the ‘hack’ here?
Women are anonymously spilling tea about men in their cities on viral app
Submitted 8 months ago by fantawurstwasser@feddit.org to technology@lemmy.world
Comments
scottrepreneur@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Bloomcole@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Is this what lemmy is about?
roserose56@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
There is a video in the article, where a a woman says “are we dating the same ma?”. Like women don’t date multiple men.
Apart form that, things never say secret, soon or later will come out.
CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 8 months ago
So I’ve had multiple GF’s who were physically abusive, cheaters, chronic liars, gaslighters… so is there a version of this for me? Or are men never victims still?
So glad this didn’t exist like ~15 years ago. My one ex, who decided to start a relationship with her co-worker, while we were looking for and then financing a house… When I broke up with her (like 1 week after closing), while I was trying to process the betrayal, she took to Facebook and text messages spamming EVERYONE a fake story about me, trying to pass herself as the victim. Even including a fake pregnancy! All to make me look bad because I caught her cheating. Thankfully, this app didn’t exist, and several of my female friends reached out to me for my side of the story.
But all the “stories” on that app, 100% vetted, right? We get unbiased, both sides of the story, right… Evidence was required… right? Because imaging the harm someone could do if they were just petty, or scornful, of just bored. It’s not like women have ever made false rape claims… right…
I’m not trying to imply my situation is what all men go through… but you can’t just dismiss it, or other men, because it doesn’t fit into your social media-fueled narrative. Yes, some men suck (and that’s selling it short). But, women are just as capable of the same level of suck. We are all, after all, human.
lenz@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
To answer your question, there have been apps like this for men… but they keep getting taken down after users start posting revenge porn.
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I also have been attacked by an ex.
I can see both sides - if it’s an app about suffering abuse, all should be welcome vs there aren’t enough women-only spaces online and those that exist are frequently brigaded.
Both have reasonable arguments. Likely a compromise where a filter could be set where you can choose to opt your posts into the women-only feed.
However, my argument would be this app is bad and no one should be on it. Even if all the content is true, a gossip app that covers legally questionable things is likely not a sensible place to hang around.
kieron115@startrek.website 8 months ago
People suck, hopefully you were able to take her to court for defamation because what she did is almost the definition of libel where I live (Maryland, US).
theparadox@lemmy.world 8 months ago
People who pretend to be victims upset me almost as much as people who victimize others (they are not equal, but it is still so fucked up). Victims have a rough enough time already being taken seriously. It doesn’t take more than a few false positives to completely take the air out of legitimate accusations from victims. I wish there was some way to solve this problem.
kyub@discuss.tchncs.de 8 months ago
Generally yes but it’s not nearly always so clear cut that one is 100% the offender and the other one 0%. Which is why attention to details, context, sophistication, listening to both sides before coming to a conclusion, etc. Is so important. But guess what kind of things get lost when taking part in such a one-sided blame game on the semi-anonymous internet.
Apps like this but also social media more generally allow for one-sided public naming and shaming of Individuals who probably don’t even know about it. It’s problematic because it can be deeply unfair.
I get that there is also value in women protecting themselves against predators but more than likely most content within the app/service is probably one-sided public blaming and gossiping.
And as we all know from right-wing propaganda, being the first to make a bold claim public and generate headlines with it is very powerful and spreads the message far and wide, whether true or false, and many will just believe it’s true without further investigation.
Kyuuketsuki@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
I don’t know why they upset you “almost as much” - people who pretend to be victims are in fact people that are victimizing others. “Other sides” notwithstanding, you said it yourself in so many words: they’re also further victimizing actual victims.
I frankly find it more inexcusable.
Bgugi@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Inb4 “found the bear”
kieron115@startrek.website 8 months ago
How is this not a stalking app?
joel_feila@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Because women cant men. /S
Blackmist@feddit.uk 8 months ago
Some salty content here for no reason.
Nobody is writing about you, misogynists of Lemmy, because nobody is dating you.
Noja@sopuli.xyz 8 months ago
It’s absolutely crazy to assume that anyone who sees the obvious issues with this app is a misogynist
Lfrith@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
From just a privacy perspective having people freely share photos, videos, and info you may have never even uploaded to the internet and compiling a community driven profile despite not opening an account there is creepy.
It’s fine if it’s community driven profiling among members who chose to voluntarily create an account understanding the terms and conditions. Like if a social media called meowmeowbeans was created, and people who want that extra safety decided to only associate with people on meowmeowbeans and would tell people I only meet people who are on meowmeowbeans so make an account and get verified if you want to meet. If you won’t then I want nothing to do with you.
I’d rather meowmeowbeans socially pressure people who want to associate with meowmeowbeans users have to voluntarily become meowmeowbeans verified as opposed to this form of information sharing that people haven’t consented to and having pages dedicated to them that people are using to discuss them.
This is Lemmy after all and not instagram, TikTok, or Facebook where people are encouraged to share their personal information. And more tech leaning, so people are going to be less open to the idea of a database popping up encouraging people to contribute any photos, videos, and personal information on random individuals to create profile pages for people who never signed up. Whether it is big tech or individuals insisting data collection and making a public profile is for safety its going to be seen with skepticism.
Gender doesn’t have to do with it, since there isn’t a law exempting specific genders from this and a site encouraging people to add info to a profile could be made for any reason. Like a similar site being made where members are asked to share information about political ideology of individuals they know and to share stories and evidence.
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
Yes, that’s the sane way to deal about it.
How crazy do you have to be to listen to hollywood stories and let strangers into your house.
For what, because you think they’re cute ? That’s just an easy way to take up with a knife in your back.
Never. Trust. Anyone. Ever.lmagitem@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Two wrong don’t make one right.
There is not and will never be any valid reason to create a hidden database of non-verified, non-authorized and potentially defamatory information about other people.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Some of the men’s comments on here venting about how rough they had it dating really need to listen to women’s dating stories more often. The level of violence does not compare.
joel_feila@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Do they need to?
yeahiknow3@lemmings.world 8 months ago
Yes. Everyone should listen to everyone else. And as a man, I promise you women have it wayyyyyy worse. I definitely won the gender lottery. Sorry ladies and Godspeed.
Krudler@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Clueless.
Women are insanely violent and abusive to men, just not so much physically.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 8 months ago
My government issued a report a few years back that estimated male vs female domestic abuse rates to differ in about one order of magnitude.
Also, for every one tragic story about one man’s abuse I have about ten more from women.
It’s lopsided in both quantity and severity, don’t even.
kieron115@startrek.website 8 months ago
Spoken by someone who has clearly never been emotionally abused by a woman. Not all violence is physical. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Spoken by someone who has also been emotionally abused by men, mind you. These women and I have a common subject.
beegnyoshi@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
I don’t want you to take me badly, but to me this comment sounded really demeaning. Obviously women have it way worse than men, but you see a comment with a men venting about their personal experiences and the first thing that comes to mind is “women have it worse”?
I could understand this comment in the context of the app, and how people are making fun of it when its purpose is to try to solve such a common and awful, awful problem in dating–but in in the context of the comments of men venting here, it really just sounds like you’re invalidating their experiences just because they’re not women.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 8 months ago
and the first thing that comes to mind is “women have it worse”?
Yes, because I’ve seen it and I had to intervene way more than I ever wanted to. We’ve had our fair share of violent domestic disputes in the family perpetrated by the men, I’ve seen it out on the streets, and lately, I’m watching all these videos of stories of women online who feared for their safety.
I’ve seen women mistreated in public, some being threatened with their lives, I’ve had family members impregnated against their will, my neighbor was literally choked on the street outside my window, women being held at gunpoint by their partners (I was there), and I’ve found out through gossip that the little girl I used to live with when I was a kid was found dead in a fucking ditch because of an ex. So yeah, I have no pony in this race as a man dating men, and yet I have plenty of reasons to think straight women have it way worse.
sounds like you’re invalidating their experiences
No, I’m comparing the grievances, which are perfectly valid and understandable on their own, but there’s no comparison, especially as a reason to create such an app.
It really sucks that a woman led you on but ultimately turned you down and you’ve spent the last decade mulling over it, but it isn’t quite the same as getting a brick thrown through a window a few times as part of a campaign of terror orchestrated by a salty coke-head ex who won’t leave your little sister alone and the police seem too eager to keep letting it happen. So yeah, kinda different when you factor in the readiness to go violent.
reksas@sopuli.xyz 8 months ago
violent assholes make things worse for both men and women. Women for obvious reasons and men because women have to be more wary.
Wazowski@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Back in the Google Glass days, I theorized that it wouldn’t be long before you could look at a person walking down the street and near instantaneously have a full profile of that individual, their age and address and family and everything, with Yelp-style reviews commenting on how the subject is a huge dick, or has a huge dick, or kicks puppies, etc. “Free”, of course, encumbered only by ads for bullshit dating services, and with just the minor inconvenience of full access to every goddamn piece of data on your phone.
I am only surprised that this kinda shit hasn’t happened much much earlier.
BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I think some student used AI along with the Meta sunglasses with cameras to do exactly this and it’s creepy how much info about you is just out there
pm_me_anime_thighs@lemmynsfw.com 8 months ago
There is, unsurprisingly, a Black Mirror episode about this.
“★★☆☆☆ Not a meaningful encounter”
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
“What clubs does he go to?” another person asked on a different post. “He’s cute.”
Clubs? Are we in the 90ies?
Treczoks@lemmy.world 8 months ago
We may not be in, but she may be from.
Makhno@lemmy.world 8 months ago
So this is an app that allows mass stalking/harassment. Imagine if men did this to women, the outcry would never end 😂
Dasus@lemmy.world 8 months ago
What? What term would be preferable to you?
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
[Young people are being ‘priced out of nightlife’
Turns out Gen Z aren’t boring – we’re just poor ❤️](dazeddigital.com/…/young-people-are-being-priced-…)
elephantium@lemmy.world 8 months ago
90ies
I can’t help but “hear” this as “Ninety eez”.
kieron115@startrek.website 8 months ago
They’re surprisingly popular state-side. Especially in big party cities like Miami.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Whoops, native-germansher Verschreiber.
Crashumbc@lemmy.world 8 months ago
:(
Some of us
bathing_in_bismuth@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Imagine if the genders were swapped in this situation
Bgugi@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Or if this was targeted at virtually any other category of people
joel_feila@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Oh god rate my maid.
Lfrith@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
Yeah, my thoughts were having people encouraged to add on information they know on top of public information is a gold mine for governments. Someone could opt out of social media and not even have a phone or computer, but now you could have citizens themselves creating profiles on their behalf and providing information on individuals like political leanings. People are just thinking dating because that is what the site is about.
But, my thoughts went to how a site could do the same for whether someone is legal or not, whether they are pro government or not, etc.
StraponStratos@lemmy.sdf.org 8 months ago
This is fucked up.
Numenor@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Tea just suffered a massive data leak
Wazowski@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Gotta be a special type fuckbrain to give this app a photo and a copy of your gotdamn ID.
gian@lemmy.grys.it 8 months ago
<sarcasm>Else how can you certify you are a woman ? We don’t want a man lurking around</sarcasm>
echodot@feddit.uk 8 months ago
Yeah that’s what the article is about
percent@infosec.pub 8 months ago
Kinda wild that app stores allow something like that. I wonder how long it’ll take for someone to build the same up, but with the roles reversed: Men anonymously talking about local women 😬
ChickenAndRice@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Android users report the app here: support.google.com/googleplay/answer/2853570?hl=e…
honestly I doubt it’ll do anything but it can’t hurt to try
InFerNo@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
There was a forum in the Benelux that did exactly that and they had to shut down.
douglasg14b@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Of course they would. It’s only allowed as long as the genders aren’t flipped.
echodot@feddit.uk 8 months ago
In theory it should be fine the problem is women always assume bad intent on the part of men, and good intent on the part of other women despite a fairly obvious fact that that’s ridiculous.
The problem is there doesn’t seem to be any system in place for review or correction. What if there someone who just doesn’t like me and posts photos and lies about me? Not only would I have no opportunity to correct the record, but unless someone I knew who was on the app told me about it, I wouldn’t even know because men aren’t allowed on.
Lfrith@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
As someone who’s stayed away from creating accounts like Facebook the concept of being encouraged to share photos and real identities of people who haven’t consented to being on the social media site is really creepy to me.
Its like some random social media account shows up and you never signed up but a profile for you has already been made and has all these photos you never even shared on there because someone chose to upload them in your place.
I’d rather people choose not to associate with people who don’t have an account that has vetted on safety than be opted into something like this without choice.
apex32@lemmy.world 8 months ago
michaelmrose@lemmy.world 8 months ago
From the first one
One profile the New Times uncovered supposedly of a philandering ex-boyfriend was actually a gay man who had spurned a woman’s advances.
hunnybubny@discuss.tchncs.de 8 months ago
This is psychotic.
dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
m3t00@piefed.world 8 months ago
viral aka. gossip. some can't get enough
ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 8 months ago
What a weird place some societies have come to.
simplejack@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 8 months ago
People should bombard them with DSAR requests.
If you’re in a state that support data subject removal requests, like California, email support@teatheapp.com and say this is a formal DSAR request to remove all of your PII.
They have 45 days to follow through.
Feyd@programming.dev 8 months ago
Oh great another centralized repository of data about people that definitely won’t be abused by bad actors
socialsecurity@piefed.social 8 months ago
There is no way this would get abused by threat actors and mentally unstable types!
fartsparkles@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Founded by a man to enable women to redflag men?
What’s your bets the dude secretly hides posts about men he’s friends with etc?
cronenthal@discuss.tchncs.de 8 months ago
Thank God we have the GDPR in Europe.
thedruid@lemmy.world 8 months ago
This is a nightmare. Some mentally deficient vigilante with delusions of grandeur and a fist full of painkillers would use this as a hit list.
.Maeve@kbin.earth 8 months ago
Intrusive permissions/data collection/sharing, including location.
jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 8 months ago
If I was going to make something like this, it would have to incorporate trust chains. I don’t care if some maga-hat says this lady is horrible. I care if my good friend Alex says she’s horrible. One person’s “this person won’t shut up about communism” is a big red flag (no pun intended) but for someone else that’s the dream.
When you sign up, you’d need to be referred to someone or be a root node. Anyone connected to you can be weighted differently. If some section of the tree is misbehaving, prune it.
But that’s a lot of work
Vanth@reddthat.com 8 months ago
Friendly reminder that Facebook started as FaceMash, an app for men at Harvard to rate the attractiveness of women.
Both are bad. At least these women are nominally using it for safety and not just looks rating.
Finally, I would be really darn cautious of using any app like FaceMash or Tea. Seems like a great way to get sued for defamation. Or to become the target of escalated behavior of one of the bad ones.
givesomefucks@lemmy.world 8 months ago
“He’s a cheater,” Walker said, reading some of the comments on one post out loud.
“What clubs does he go to?” another person asked on a different post. “He’s cute.”
That illustrates the big problem…
Some guys are lying assholes and horrible people, but so are some women.
It’s not going to take long for them to get massively sued, there’s no way they’re vetting the posted info, and it’s literally cyber bullying.
The guy (yes it’s a guy) who made and owns this is a fucking idiot for not seeing the lawsuits coming.
joel_feila@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Finally i have a way to explain my feeling about this. This is just yelp for people. Yet another attempt to rate people. Didn’t Candance owebs try to make something like this years ago but for reporting racists?