Could you spread all then empathy across everyone evenly, and then increase it by about 10%?
Everybody gets one [choose wisely]
Submitted 10 months ago by balderdash9@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/01571a61-e9d0-4876-b03c-6ae9c2061d0d.webp
Comments
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Realistically, this just means draining the 1-2 people with empathy (Jane Goodall and… that’s probably it?) and spreading it across 8 billion people.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
All the empathy in the world (+10%) is spread “evenly” to one person at a time, randomly, every minute of the day:
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
I said spread, not share. One would not consider peanut butter spread on bread if you put it in one glob and then picked up and moved the glob somewhere else.
Masamune@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I’d like a pleasant surprise that has no negative consequences whatsoever.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Done. 152 Visual Phenomena & Optical Illusions with explanations by Michael Bach: michaelbach.de/ot/
Masamune@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Neat, thank you!
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
i’d want my mother back, please
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Suddenly, you hear crying at your door. You open the door, look down, and there in a wicker basket is a baby: it’s your mother. You have your mother back as an infant and you may now raise her:
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
would be cool for me :)
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Brutal.
orenj@lemmy.sdf.org 10 months ago
Can you transmute my body to be a self sustaining nonsenecent machine? thanks
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Your new eyes open. Data fills your processing units and fills your SSD. You live 100 years as an android before the death of everyone you know and your reality as a cold calculating machine begins to drive you mad…
orenj@lemmy.sdf.org 10 months ago
thx bb its all i ever wanted <3
jsomae@lemmy.ml 10 months ago
in the meantime, consider cryonics
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
Cancel all requests in this post that would cause harm to anyone.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
There’s always an altruist. Okay, all harmful wishes before this one are hereby revoked! It’s like it never happened, except you don’t get to wish again:
@umbrella@lemmy.ml – Zuckerburg never got diarrhea. But his face still looks like that. @diemartin@sh.itjust.works - Capitalism never fell and society never collapsed. @WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today - Never got stuck in a time loop. @yermaw@sh.itjust.works - Utopia never lead to human galactic dominance. @Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com - The new socialist president was never assassinated. @_Bit@lemmy.world - The dragon “Wyvern of Mordiford” never existed and didn’t eat humans. @tja@sh.itjust.works - Never became a millionaire and never got non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. @jimmux@programming.dev - Never got jetpacks. No children were harmed. @TheTechnician27@lemmy.world - The advance A.I. “V.I.K.I.” was never developed. Digital slop abounds. @interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml - The Earth never collided with the Earth at nearly the speed of light. @petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone - Never lost ten years of memory. But does remember the bad dinner. @magnetosphere@fedia.io - Increased empathy never led to fascism. @SassyRamen@lemmy.world - A man named Donald John Trump was born. @sfxrlz@lemmy.dbzer0.com – You are no longer uncontrollably perennially happy. @AllToRuleThemOne@lemmy.world – Popcorn shrimp did not rain from the sky and collapse the ecosystem. @icelimit@lemmy.ml – Dual memories of past and future never harmed you. The memories are gone.
_Bit@lemmy.world 9 months ago
nooo give him back!!
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 10 months ago
I still get a gorillion years of experience, even with everything undone.
Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
W socialism
jimmux@programming.dev 10 months ago
But what if the kids who use jetpacks without helmets go on to cause more net harm? You know they would.
I was actually trying to improve the world by introducing some Darwinian efficiency. Honest.
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 10 months ago
I believe the kids say “absolute win” I’m quite old you see
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 10 months ago
Change Earth trajectory and inertia to intersect the Sun at 0.9c
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 10 months ago
I’m fine with them knowing, at 0.9c subjective time they would only know for the rest of their lives, which is just 4 minutes Assuming you did not accelerate the Earth to 0.9c but changing the inertial speed and trajectory of Earth.
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Complete obliviation.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Sure, you are now the owner of the “Rex Nihilio” album from Massachusetts death metal/deathcore band “Obliviation”.
insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe 10 months ago
Ohhh what sad times are these when passing
ruffianswizards can corrupt even the most mundane and reasonable wishes. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who tire of this mortal coil are under considerable physical, mental, and socioeconomic stress in this period in history.NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 10 months ago
A little rough around the edges, but solid stuff, no complaints. Really not bad for a monkey paw thing.
BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Cashews
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
A single cashew tree with harvestable cashews sprouts in your front yard. It will thrive if you currently live in a tropical climate.
BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
It will die, but at least I got some cashews. Thank you, kind wizard.
wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
I’d like to be granted the ability to, at any time and without limitation on scope, number, or length, ask the universe questions (asked in the dialect of modern english in which I am fluent) and know the answers, but with the following stipulations:
- that all answers are to be formatted and delivered in such a way that I understand them, without any changes or consequences that my current self (as of the writing of this statement, in my current condition) would consider a significant change to my physical and mental stability, and without requiring more than 3600 metric seconds (relative to my worldline) to understand in fullness, and being delivered in a timeframe of less than 3600 metric seconds (relative to my worldline).
- that any redactions due to such stability concerns as in the prior stipulations are to be formatted and delivered as part of the reformatted answer
- that any answer which is inherently unknowable returns an explanation for why it is unknowable, formatted as an answer pursuant to the prior stipulations
- that no answers pursuant to the ability lead to circular logic
- that this ability, its answers and enabling factors shall not require a sacrifice which my current self (as described above under my current circumstances when informed of the context of the sacrifice in plain English communication) would not think reasonable.
- that if such a sacrifice is required, an explanation of the requisite sacrifice and the factors requiring it be returned to me, formatted as an answer pursuant to the prior stipulations
- that I am to be able to choose to transfer any of these answers to another individual of any species, and that the individual be able to understand the answers, so long as the prior stipulations on sacrifice and physical and mental stability are satisfied both for myself and the secondary individual.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Hmm, I was going to say you go insane but I see you’ve covered that. Okay, nice. Any question you ask will receive a safe response (answered if possible). However, you must ask the questions out loud and every answer given will be in a booming voice that nearly everyone hears around the world. The answers do not physically or mentally harm you, but other people may have psychotic breaks depending on the questions you ask:
(To be clear, the wish doesn’t give you the second ability to talk to animals or transmit thoughts. You’ll have to ask about whether those things are possible.)
wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Fair. I would argue that “many people going insane” would be covered under the sacrifice clause, but hey, this seems like the best of all possible outcomes from mucking about with reality.
jim3692@discuss.online 10 months ago
For the lazy, here is the summarization of my local AI:
You’d like to have a powerful ability: being able to ask the universe any question in modern English at any time, without limitations or rituals, and receive an answer that’s:
- Understandable by your current self (no significant changes to physical or mental stability)
- Delivered within 3600 seconds (an hour) of asking
- Reformatted if necessary to protect your stability
- Includes explanations for unknowable questions
- Avoids circular logic
- Doesn’t require an unreasonable sacrifice (if a sacrifice is needed, you’ll be informed)
- Allows transfer of answers to another individual, as long as they can understand the answer and meet the previous conditions.
In essence, you want to have direct access to all knowledge in the universe, without any negative consequences or sacrifices that might harm your well-being or stability.
lime@feddit.nu 10 months ago
don’t.
if you didn’t think it worth the time to write it, why should i take the time to read it? surely it will be worthless.
i’m not here for the bots.
wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Yes, unlimited access to universal truth, with error reporting.
PillBugTheGreat@lemmy.world 10 months ago
This fucking house to close. Jesus, just get done already.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Granted. All of the doors and windows of the house close, simultaneously.
FatTony@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Well I have never had a girlfriend before. And I would really like to have one. So, how about that?
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
FatTony@lemmy.world 10 months ago
If I break my phone, will it kill her? Because I had a little accident just now…
AllToRuleThemOne@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Popcorn Shrimp rain, please.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Perfectly cooked popcorn shrimp pour out of the sky. Animals run for cover; scientists scratch their heads; people stand in the streets, mouth open, catching popcorn shrimp in pure whimsy. The rain is global and lasts for a week. The excessive nutrients poured into the world’s ecological systems causes eutrophication, a total environmental catastrophe:
AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
To see all Oaken Tower players have their computer mice overheat when playing that game. To the point where an hour of playing it would make their mice unusable.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Can you get me the Chalupa Supreme combo with 1 steak and 1 chicken?
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 10 months ago
The ability to restart parts of my life from a save file, starting from like 16.
Dasus@lemmy.world 10 months ago
16? Why limit yourself? Why not go back to like two years old and shock everyone with your maturity?
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 10 months ago
To avoid unpleasant things. Such as being stuck being a teen, my parents freaking out and being worried for my mental health, my brain undeveloping too much, having some snotlings as my peers, so on.
I figured 16 was the last best time I could have changed things, and there was so much Nostalgia from then. I’d get my hands on certain consoles when they mattered…and create the life experiences I always wanted.
Except having a 30 year old brain would mean I’d try to bang the teachers instead of well, my peers. Obviously, even time travel can’t fix certain things you didn’t do. But I don’t care about that.
I would 100% enjoy Pokemom Platinum though. Knowing this is when it was actually relevant.
My early 20’s are where the good and most epic stuff was at. Combined with the most awful. But that’s the age I would like to be at I guess. Being stuck at 26 or 28 I would be at my peak in some ways if I had time travel, and I like that. But early twenties like 22-23 means more options and flexibility. So I would stop there, and keep looping till perfection I guess. Learning everything there is to know.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
The first time you activate your power, you are unknowingly stuck in a time loop. Each time you reactivate the power, the loop gets shorter from the point in time you restarted. Basically the movie Groundhog Day but the time loop partially depends on you:
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 10 months ago
So long as I’m aware of this, I have no problem with it. If I get to learn and advance.
Dasus@lemmy.world 10 months ago
The image made me think of this one weird “song” I used to listen to somewhat when I used to do nitrous oxide, years ago.
WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Read Peter F Hamilton’s Void saga.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 10 months ago
Literally would not have the time for that on an average day. Will see if I can get Vuzix glasses 2 so I can covertly read it at work.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 10 months ago
A bagel.
No. Wait.
Two bagels.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
The next time that you eat at a restaurant and are entirely full, two fresh artisanal bagels are delivered to your table: they’re complementary.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Do you want one? I couldn’t possibly eat two…
Booboofinget@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I would like sanity to be part of our country again. Too big an ask?
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
monkeys paw curls*
Granted. Fascist authoritarianism are now the norm and are considered what is considered “sane.”
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
The Combine off Earth. I want the Combine off Earth!
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Wow, the other guy told me that was too large a nudge! Thanks, balderdash!
petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
I had dinner last night, but I didn’t like it that much. Can you change my memories of the whole situation?
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Totally genie like behavior. I love it.
petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
Where am I?!
Who are you?!
Why am I so full of diarrhea?!
SassyRamen@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Donald John Trump to never be born
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
SorryImLate@piefed.social 10 months ago
I'd like to be the sole owner of all global patents required for an effective, sustainable, eco-friendly solution to removing and recycling microplastics from earth's environment.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
It’s official: you are now the sole owner of all eco-friendly and sustainable microplastic patents. There are only a few that are effective, and they are all set to expire in an hour:
SorryImLate@piefed.social 10 months ago
Gah, I forgot about expiry dates!
Oh well, at least they exist now. Now to figure out which ones are effective and ensure someone implements them...
diemartin@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
One (1) fall of capitalism please
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
You got it. Post apocalyptic scenario ends all forms of investment and monetary exchange. We go back to the barter system:
wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Is that still from Life After People?
Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
A socialist organization of the economy, where everyone works less and less during the week as technology advances and assists, but doesn’t replace, the labor pool.
Beebabe@lemmy.world 10 months ago
A soft place to land for my kids. I’m tired.
TheEEEdiot@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Checking this thread to see if anyone asked for Hulk Hogan dead.
Icantdraw@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
Enough money to live peacefully at all times
Baphomet_The_Blasphemer@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I would love a fully functional self powered Star Trek industrial replicator (pre-programmed)… oh, and while you’re at it, if you could tweak my brain to do the dopamine thing in a healthy way, I’d appreciate it, but fully understand if that’s too much of an ask.
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
Yes, mybody wants anything. Though the community says anything goes, so I’m not sure how long I’ll have it 🤔
balderdash9@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
How about a pineapple pizza? It’s yours:
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