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My parents never taught me personal things like this or even “the talk”. I just used the internet. However, if I were to have kids then I would probably be more open
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Submitted 8 months ago by Constantine_@sh.itjust.works to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
altphoto@lemmy.today 8 months ago
Looking forward to 2078 when we’ll be forced to show our kids how to copulate for procreation and what to use the tools of procreation for personal and group recreation.
Anyway kids, you then grab it and you do this back and forth motion on it. Yes billy, just like the jiggler dumbbell commercial!
daggermoon@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I just did it for the first time and I’m in my mid twenties. Dad didn’t show me how to shave shit.
Thavron@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
To be fair, I don’t think you’re supposed to shave shit.
TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
While you’re at it and if you didn’t already PLEASE teach him how to exfoliate his skin. I felt so gross that I went YEARS not doing properly it because my parents were kinda… iffy on some things.
Beebabe@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It’s your job as a parent to teach your kiddos these sorts of things. It might feel uncomfortable, but it is part of the deal. It’s your job to teach him all of these personal hygiene issues. I taught both of my children (boy, girl) these things. For some general info I had to do a lot of research on boy things, as I don’t have those parts. But I did it and we’re fine. This doesn’t just apply to hygiene but all those life skills we aren’t just born with.
njm1314@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Of course not. Who else is he supposed to ask and who else is supposed to show him?
minibyte@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I wasn’t born in a hospital and never admitted, thus untrimmed. My Dad never has the talk with me. No one told me I had to pull my foreskin back and wash the smegma off. It wasn’t until someone dumped me because they kept getting infections after we fucked.
If the boy needs help, help.
Blackmist@feddit.uk 8 months ago
They don’t half nip your plums though
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 8 months ago
I hope you warned him about how much worse razorburn/itchiness is for that area.
WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It’s only weird if you make it weird.
While you’re at it, teach him how condoms work.
hmancuso@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Fatherhood has no expiry date. If your son came to you asking for help, don’t overthink. Do the right thing and help him out, regardless of what he wants to shave.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 8 months ago
If your son came to you asking for help, don’t overthink. Do the right thing and help him out, regardless of what he wants to shave.
This should be stitched into a throw pillow. The first sentence on one side, the second sentence on the other side.
mechoman444@lemmy.world 8 months ago
So the short answer is yes. It’s weird.
The long answer is, and I have a 15 year old girl, is that pretty much everthing we do at this point is going to be weird or awkward.
This what you did more awkward than normal also yes.
I’m not trying to save you from this sir.
scarabic@lemmy.world 8 months ago
If you had any idea the kind of info that mothers and daughters have to talk about, you wouldn’t worry about helping your son trim the verge :D
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Seriously. “Excuse me, Mom. You put what into where?!”
acockworkorange@mander.xyz 8 months ago
He wants to shave his pubes? You should teach him before someone else does. Also teach him how to don a condom and what can happen if he doesn’t.
RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 8 months ago
Personally I’d think that as too much. Verbally describing it would be the limit for me.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
Only if he also asks you to teach his friends
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Yes but only if he asks you and not the other way around
pishadoot@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
It’s not!
Anyone that feels like it crossed a boundary is themselves a victim of the exact same mentality you are trying (and achieving to) overcome.
Pragmatically you can’t really teach your son how to shave his nethers until he’s growing there, so any hesitation around age boundaries really don’t make sense in this case.
On top of that the request was from your son, not initiated by you. He wanted help from a male role model in personal grooming, and you helped.
This kind of thing can be so hard for men. As a society we talk about barriers between fathers and sons and it should be celebrated when we can overcome them to help young men navigate adolescence in healthy ways while feeling like they have support.
Your mental misgivings about what people might think are echoes of your own upbringing. You don’t have to tell people anyways, it’s between you and your son, if you have concerns about what people might think. Honestly some would think it crossed a line, but it didn’t, and you know better than anyone that it was healthy and innocent. So if you want to you can keep it to yourself, but personally I wouldn’t hide it. Not saying to bring it up randomly unprompted, but imo it should be something that you shouldn’t worry about discussing in the correct contexts BECAUSE we need more people to vocalize and hear that it’s ok, to continue breaking down those barriers. Caveat that with all recognition of respect for your son’s privacy, which again falls back on what I mentioned about context.
Bravo, sir.
tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
You just have tonask yourself “If it was a daughter asking her mother for personal grooming advice, would things seem different?” and if the answer is ‘yes’ then it’s easy to recognise there might be a double standard there in society which shouldn’t exist.
CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 8 months ago
It’s only weird if you keep shaving them for him. Open conversations like that are a sign of great communication and trust!
I know that removing pubes can have a health impact for vagina owners. I don’t know if that holds true for penis owners. That may be something to investigate and advise.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 8 months ago
I find it to be itchy as fuck so I just knock it down with the trimmer but leave enough for that not to happen.
onslaught545@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
As a penis owner who sweats a lot, keeping things shaved helps prevent things from smelling funky.
angrystego@lemmy.world 8 months ago
No, it’s not.
Triasha@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I don’t see anything weird about this. Sounds like parenting.
GrayBackgroundMusic@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Nah, you’re good. You asked and he answered. If it’s something that would happen at a doctor’s office, you’re good. If it’s something that would happen at a brothel, then that’s a problem. It’s all technical and you got consent.
I do the same when it comes to bodies. I ask my kids if they are comfortable or give them options. Let them know they’re in control of their bodies. Give them options. Example, we had a showering demonstration and I asked if they wanted to wear a swim suit or be naked.
lostoncalantha@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Americans are so prude. lol.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
We really are. Those damn Puritans!
This reminds me of an event my mom likes to recount: we moved to Germany when I was a kid. We went to a beach where other kids were running around naked. I looked around and immediately took my clothes off and ran across the beach.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 8 months ago
My god, that sounds freeing.
NastyNative@mander.xyz 8 months ago
No boundaries were crossed. If anything you created a memory for him and when his son ask him for help he will remember this moment and repeat what you showed him. A+ dad!
ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I’m just going to disregard the whole “is it weird” because other commenters have already answered that and say this:
Thank you for being supportive of your son like that, not making them feel ashamed or uncomfortable for asking, and actually showing them since you know how to do it.
My dad wouldn’t even show me how to properly shave my face even when I asked, gave me a one sentence explanation, and just went back to whatever he was doing. I had to learn from YouTube and trial+error.
Doxatek@mander.xyz 8 months ago
If he’s reasonably intelligent I’m sure you could just explain it to him and give some tips. It’s not rocket science.
shaggyb@lemmy.world 8 months ago
No. Please teach your child to groom himself safely. Particularly if he WANTS TO LEARN - that is a miracle in itself.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
People are fucking weird. There’s also prudes and morons that assume any contact at all has to be some kind of horror.
But we’re supposed to teach our kids how to clean and manage their bodies. That’s the job; we do it for them when they’re too young to do it themselves, or if something temporarily/permanently disables them from doing so.
It isn’t weird to help with genital care under those circumstances either. You gotta teach kids how to wash their junk, and if they want/need to change their pubic hair, it’s part of the job to discuss it, decide if it’s the right choice at that point, and if the mutually agreed answer is yes, to teach them how not to screw up.
For real, who else is supposed to? You gonna hire a nurse or nurse’s assistant to teach them? That’s weird, and there aren’t any specialists in aesthetics that are going to agree to it in most circumstances when the kid is under the local age of consent. Too much risk.
And even that assumes that the kid is going to be okay with a stranger helping them with their genitals. Not every kid would be. For me, there’s no way I’m going to have a total stranger fiddling with my kid’s junk for non medical reasons, even if the kid was alright with it.
You did the job, end of story.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Contrast this to my mom, who taught me how to shave my legs but who forbid me from “shaving above the knee.”
That ended when I went to school in shorts and the bullies saw my thigh hair glistening in the sun.
It ended two years later, when I met a cool girl who didn’t shave if she didn’t feel like it, rocking her hairy legs without a care.
I’m still not that bold, but I found a balance that works for me. Nobody else’s opinion matters.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Preach! We should be way past the silliness of body hair choices being open for other’s opinions. It took my sasquatch looking ass a while to get there for myself, but there’s still social pushback that just pisses me off. I’m glad you found your balance :)
shalafi@lemmy.world 8 months ago
My dad took me in the shower when I was young and taught me to bathe properly.
IWW4@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
It isn’t weird at all. As a parent it is our job to teach your kids that sort of thing.