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"And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?"

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Submitted ⁨⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stamets@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/834b50be-8133-4b6a-87be-e4877f86fdc1.jpeg

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Comments

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  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Serious answer:

    That’s cool. What makes it special?

    Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they’re proud that they could afford it and even when they’re being tone-deaf, there’s no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they’re stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you’re the one judging them.

    Cars (and watches) aren’t so expensive that a middle-class person can’t plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. My former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say “I really like the 2008 model.” She couldn’t argue with that.

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    • phantomwise@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      That’s cool. What makes it special?

      Nice one. If it’s only a status thing he’ll scrabble to find something to say about it other than it’s price. And on the very very low chance that it’s not, he’ll have an excuse to explain. Who knows, he might be a watch nerd who’s really proud that he could afford that watch because it’s a special watch to watch nerds for watch related reasons and he’ll tell you all about it.

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    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I feel special when my 6 year old laptop runs circles around your new shit because I know how to maintain it and don’t install every fucking app I find.

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      • Preflight_Tomato@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        & also you probably know to spec it appropriately; most slow laptops I see have 8 gigs ram.

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  • aliceblossom@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Wow, you’re really shit at bargaining. They really took you for a ride!”

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  • umbraroze@piefed.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    "I don't have the habit of looking at other people's watches. Thanks for pointing it out, I guess, I might have otherwise missed that detail entirely."

    (Biz-bro mind cannot comprehend this)

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  • jewbacca117@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That’s not a very high bar, boomer.

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  • agent_nycto@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.

    Image

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    • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Godzila is more likely to keep accurate time.

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    • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      The 3rd feature really convinced me

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  • bluesheep@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Didn’t ask”

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    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “Not sure what a watch is”

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  • axh@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Does none to 60 in ONE minute! It’s garbage.

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    • Randelung@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It time travels at one second per second and only forwards.

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    • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You. You’re funny!

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  • sjoeqie@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I don’t have a car

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  • scytale@lemmy.zip ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    But does it djent?

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  • MissJinx@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    don’t. make a “oh poor guy” face and move on. he wants you to engage, to be angry, if you don’t he will be mad

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    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      😬

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  • Leonixster@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    A lot of replies here still wander into sounding mad imo Instead, I would fake not getting the insult and just make them uncomfortable by saying something like “Wow that’s cool :D” and then just move on. Sort of like when you acknowledge a child doing something dumb but they’re so proud of it you don’t want to ruin it for them.

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  • Tja@programming.dev ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Smile and say “it’s very pretty”.

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  • omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “your wife is still sleeping with the pool boy”

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  • 58008@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Good for you man, that’s a really great watch 😊

    Sad little men like that are most hurt by you not being offended by them. It’s like with internet trolls; non-engagement is the best weapon. It also happens to require the least amount of energy or time. So easy, but so devastating to their ego.

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  • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Yes, but do you have brass balls?

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  • Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    What time is it?

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  • ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Bragging is lower-class behavior

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  • capt_wolf@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “It must be so tedious being bound in the literal shackles of time. Worse yet to attach ones sense of manhood to their own enslavement. Even moreso to celebrate it with an even fancier manacle… I’m going to go enjoy a coffee. I’ll be back whenever I’m done.”

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  • chiliedogg@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I think I made the better choice.

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  • Rooskie91@discuss.online ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Wow, I guess you really CAN’T buy taste then”

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  • OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Big deal- I also have a small cock.”

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  • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Realize you mistakenly spoke to a Baldwin and walk away

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  • sirico@feddit.uk ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Why would I spend money on a depreciating asset? My money works for me.

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  • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Why would you own a depreciating asset that is that expensive?

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    • 6nk06@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Actually Rolex are an investment. I’ve been told by a friend who has some Rolex that:

      1. You can’t buy a Rolex, you must go in a waiting list
      2. Buy the Rolex
      3. Use it for a few months
      4. Sell the Rolex for $10k higher than the brand new price to someone who can’t wait

      It seems to work somehow. People are morons.

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  • spankmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    So you like to waste money?

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  • KindnessIsPunk@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I eat them.

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  • Lupus@feddit.org ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Interesting, may I see?” And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :“It’s fake” turn around and disengage.

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    • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Image

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  • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    You see this watch? it cost 80 bucks and shows notifications from my phone"

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  • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This isn’t a car

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