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Dude likes fucking kids and this kid likes getting fucked. Your dad’s a creep and you should cut him out. What happens if you ever have children of your own? Playdates with grandpa and his latest 16-year-old whatever?
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Submitted 11 months ago by show_show_show@reddthat.com to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 11 months ago
brax@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
How does the 16 year of have any cred anymore? I couldn’t imagine my reaction as a teen if somebody I knew said they were fucking (or even dating) somebody that old.
Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 11 months ago
I can’t tell you why her parents would be okay with it, but I think you might want to ask your dad why he’s okay with it. A tough conversation, for sure, and I think we all kinda know the answer, but making him say it out loud might begin the process to put an end to it.
show_show_show@reddthat.com 11 months ago
[deleted]Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 11 months ago
My girlfriend has a 15 year old daughter (I’m 49). I enjoy her company a lot. She’s a great kid. The thought of any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with her turns my stomach. It should also turn your dad’s stomach, and he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with “I enjoy her company”. But that’s just my opinion. I don’t know your family dynamics, and I know it’s easy to preach about what I think should be done from the outside.
Very tough spot to be in, and I have no advice beyond confrontation. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu 11 months ago
He has one thought on his mind: “sex with a 16yo” repeated in a loop until he goes to jail.
Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu 11 months ago
On many places in the world this is considered acceptable. Up to 150y ago it was mostly ok everywhere. Also social class counts sometimes.
No, I do not condone that a 16yo (whatever the gender) has a love relationship with a 42yo. Its so much wrong on ALL aspects.
But without knowing the background, location, family situation and much more, giving out judgment is just stupid.
I am father of a similar teenager, who luckly has no such tastes, but I do not know what I would do in such a situation. Would I condone it? Absolutely not. Would I prohibit it? Mmmmm would that be of any use? How would I address such an issue is probably by talking to both (separately). Yes I would go as far as telling the 42yo to fuck off or I would call the police on him/her. Or destroy his/her car/mess him/her up personally if I am in a place where the police would just do nothing.
But I cannot judge how and why the parents in OP post, without knowing more of the situation.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 11 months ago
Unless the 16 yo is being betrothed to a king several hundred years ago, it isn’t ok. It wasn’t ok then either, but at least there was diplomatic strategy to “excuse” it. Make sure her family is inheriting a lot of land, wealth, and serfs. If not, there’s no way to explain it.
I’m truly sorry you’re in this situation. Call authorities. Send your father to prison. Or leak the info to someone here to do it for you. Do her parents know?
scoobford@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
My family have something similar going on, they’re 18 and 46.
We’re all politely ignoring it because their parents think trying to forbid it will make it more attractive.
Microw@lemm.ee 11 months ago
This here. Being fine with it or not being fine with it is one thing.
But expressing that or trying to do anything about it is a completely different thing. Knowing teenagers, the consequences could be unintended
motor_spirit@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You need to press pops and tell him to get his shit together. Tell him that’s not okay, predatory, that you don’t approve, then keep distance to drive the point home. Gross shit, don’t turn a blind eye to this.
Spacehooks@reddthat.com 11 months ago
Anyone see Manhattan 1979? Same energy.
Dagwood222@lemm.ee 11 months ago
If the 16 year old wanted to date another 16 year old people would say that it’s her choice.
But if she decides to date someone much older than her she must be crazy.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 11 months ago
16 year old dating someone more than twice her age = absolutely making a poor decision.
Dagwood222@lemm.ee 11 months ago
At what age does she have the right to control her own choices?
Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
Let me guess: you’re the kinda person who insists that the middle aged bloke in this scenario isn’t a paedophile because you think “ephebophile” is a more technically accurate term.
user224@lemmy.sdf.org 11 months ago
Not the person you replied to, but I prefer neither of those in this context since they only represent age-based sexual attraction, which may also be given as a diagnosis.
The more fitting name is a “predator” or “sexual predator”. If specific to children, then “child molester”. Both technically correct (as far as I know), while also sounding more serious (in my opinion).
Dagwood222@lemm.ee 11 months ago
I’m not talking about the male, I’m talking about the woman.
At what age does she have the right to control her own choices?
yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
I don’t think pedophile is accurate here.
It’s power difference why someone would want to “date” a 16 year old. It allows for very easy abuse which is usually the main motivation. Sexual attraction to children is less likely because far fewer people are pedophiles than abusers.
Spacehooks@reddthat.com 11 months ago
Lol its the “you see its a spectrum”
zxqwas@lemmy.world 11 months ago
16 you’re getting close to the age where you have to learn from your own mistakes.
A responsible 42 year old is better than a 17 year old that deals drugs anyway.
Today@lemmy.world 11 months ago
How/why does an adult man date a child? There’s really only one answer to that.
db2@lemmy.world 11 months ago
They don’t because it isn’t dating.
voracitude@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Yikes. How do you handle it - try not to think about it, stay out of the house? Dark humour and fucked up jokes? Do you interact with her much? Any opinions on her?
spacequetzal@lemm.ee 11 months ago
That child has been failed by her parents and your father is a predator.
I’m so sorry for you and for her.
Takapapatapaka@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Are you sure they are aware of this? If yes, maybe they disagree but don’t have words or take action for some reason. Or maybe they know or think they know the man very well and trust him? Just hypothesis, i’m not really convinced.
But i’m even unable to conceive how someone that young would be attracted to someone that older, outside of any authority figure or idealisation kind of scheme. So I guess she must have a specific reason, and she’s doing this out of the blue, and this reason, whatever it is, may make it difficult for her parents to convince her or force her out of the relation.
60d@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Yea, there’s too little context here. Update with more information, OP, or we’re looking at a GIGO situation.
orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Grandpa in, grandpa out.
andrewta@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Gigo?
MoonManKipper@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Garbage In, Garbage Out. Not enough info, so can’t provide meaningful response, I guess, in this case. That said - I wouldn’t be happy, done know why they would be.
user224@lemmy.sdf.org 11 months ago
Ignorance. Lots of if.
Nollij@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
There is so much additional context needed to say with any confidence. The first thought would be that he can be a good provider (i.e. money) and her other prospects are not very promising. Another could be power, and how that could be extended to the family.
There’s yet another possibility that they aren’t actually ok with it, but are only presenting that face in public. Teenage girls are notoriously hard to control, and this might be the fastest/easiest way to get her to end it or learn a lesson.
There are still a number of other possibilities, many involving religion, that there’s no way to know which might apply to your situation.
PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 11 months ago
She’s 16, she doesn’t need prospects.
Nollij@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
At 16, her personality is visible, and her taste in partners has probably shown. If she’s into guys with ties to drugs, violence, etc, this might actually be a step up.
It still has the glaringly obvious issues OP was asking about, but you don’t always get to choose the cards you’re dealt. This could be the least harmful choice available.
spacequetzal@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Get out of here.
A teenager should not have to sell her body for financial stability.
And for power? Power often translates into domestic abuse-- just look at how RFK Jr. drove his wife to suicide by denying her their children by abusing his power.
And religion? That’s even worse.
We do not need to be following any rule sets written in times when humans did not comprehend the complexities of human cognition and healthy mental & psychosocial development.
The only reason you gave that has any merit is that it is recommended that when someone you love is in a victim in an abusive relationship you maintain a positive relationship with the victim so that their abuser cannot isolate them from their support system, which makes the victim more likely to escape an abuse relationship.
Lumidaub@feddit.org 11 months ago
They’re not saying these ate reasons why it’s okay, they answered the question which is “why would parents be okay with it”.
show_show_show@reddthat.com 11 months ago
[deleted]Nollij@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
To really find out, you probably just have to ask them directly.
Zacpod@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Your dad is a pedophile.