Either the world is ending or Chuck Norris tried to self harm. There’s no other explanation.
+++BREAKING NEWS+++ he dead now
Pretty sure this is one of the harbingers of the apocalypse...
Submitted 18 hours ago by rosco385@lemmy.wtf to [deleted]
https://lemmy.wtf/pictrs/image/7cbc0ad4-5adc-4bf1-b09d-2b698814fd7d.png
Comments
Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de 4 hours ago
BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 hours ago
US Healthcare FTW!! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Oodlenoodlenoo@lemmy.zip 2 hours ago
Damn the only thing that could kill Chuck Norris was US healthcare all along
YoFrodo@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Chuck Norris is a POS. Hes a massive outspoken bigot. The chuck norris jokes are lame now because he has become the joke. What a fucking loser.
rosco385@lemmy.wtf 17 hours ago
My brother in Christ, we’re in the shitpost sub.
athatet@lemmy.zip 13 hours ago
And you certainly did post shit. GG I suppose.
teslekova@sh.itjust.works 8 hours ago
Under Chuck Morris’s racism is another fist! And it’s up Trump’s ass!
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
More like another tongue
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
I upvoted all of these comments.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 10 hours ago
his whole persona is a being a " conservative Texan" cant get anymore obvious than that
WanderWisley@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
100%!
hellfire103@lemmy.ca 16 hours ago
That’s part of the reason we’re making Chuck Norris jokes instead of sympathising one iota. May as well have some fun.
Evotech@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
He looked great for 86
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
God, I can’t wait for Chuck Norris to die just so the stupid ‘jokes’ will too.
BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Lol, not even sorry.
Rot in piss chuckles.
starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 hours ago
Quick quick mention Donald Trump
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Honestly, yeah Trump another one I’d love to see die, because it won’t be long before the outhouse opens and he gets the respect he deserves.
thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de 4 hours ago
Well, he did
ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 6 hours ago
Surely the jokes died like 15 years ago?
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
They’re not that dead, you can smell their stench in this thread
AA5B@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Chuck Norris won’t have died, he’ll have found another realm to dominate
Oodlenoodlenoo@lemmy.zip 2 hours ago
I’m imagining he’s in an isekai rn
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Has jokes about being unkillable
Dies
DeadDigger@lemmy.zip 6 hours ago
Chuck Norris will never die, nazis seem to respawn
SirBucksworth@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
You mean the hospital has been rushed to Chuck Norris
VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 hours ago
Looks like the medical emergency had a Chuck Norris in the end.
db2@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Earlier Chuck I would be more concerned. Like Meatloaf it will be more of a relief that he can’t fuck up any longer.
DrFunkenstein@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
Wait drop the tea about Clapton killing a child
db2@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
His son, fell out the window, like 56 floors.
I’m going to take that part back though, I had been told he was high and neglect caused it which doesn’t seem to be true. His son ran toward a floor to ceiling window that didn’t have a window in it.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 15 hours ago
Let’s not forget Van Morrison in this discussion!
db2@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Wow, he went from goofy to full on nuts. But for every Van Morrison there’s also a Neil Young, or that’s what I choose to believe anyway.
LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
Yeah right, the only way he’s going down is if Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail’s Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, RoboCop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S Preston, Theodor Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all came out of nowhere lightning fast and kicked Chuck Norris and his cowboy ass.
undeffeined@lemmy.ml 4 hours ago
He dead
LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works 2 hours ago
Oh fuck
benderbeerman@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Man, that would be the bloodiest battle the world ever seen
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
That fight would rage on for a century and claim many lives
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 hours ago
more like found dead in his bed in a pile of his shit. A fitting end.
teslekova@sh.itjust.works 7 hours ago
And Dangermouse and Bananaman and Roger Ramjet.
hellfire103@lemmy.ca 18 hours ago
Chuck Norris doesn’t suffer medical emergencies: medical emergencies suffer Chuck Norris.
gravitas@pie.gravitywell.xyz 18 hours ago
Is the hospital okay?
Vinylraupe@lemmy.zip 4 hours ago
Damn is he Donald Trumps arch enemy? The size of the hands…
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 2 hours ago
Quite the opposite, he was a Trump supporter.
realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip 58 minutes ago
Which probably surprises noone, considering his entire career was about being the manly, conservative texan.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Chuck Norris isn’t a harbinger of the apocalypse, he is the apocalypse.
1984@lemmy.today 12 hours ago
The injury decided to stop existing when it realized who it was attacking.
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 18 hours ago
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep.
He waits.
Jumbie@lemmy.zip 17 hours ago
Imagine if Chuck goes before his god, Dotard.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 hours ago
…and finds out she’s black…
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
There’s flirting with death and then there’s just teasing it.
Fedizen@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Has anyone asked AI if this is real?
6stringringer@lemmy.zip 1 hour ago
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.