Submitted 2 weeks ago by DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works to showerthoughts@lemmy.world
Seriously you read about people who die young, and people always pretend to care after they are already dead like “omg, this is so sad, they could’ve acomplished so much, he had a bright future ahead of him! wHaT a tRaGeDy, iF oNlY wE cOuLd’vE FoRSeEn tHiS”…
why didn’t y’all do anything while they were still alive? hypocrites…
While people are alive, their accomplishments are always being compared to expectations; but if they die before accomplishing anything, the expectations are all that’s left.
Wow, showerthought #2
It’s nice to say nice things about people who’ve passed away.
Like if someone in their 20s passes away, and you’re at their wake after the funeral, you’re not going to say “well I kind of always just tolerated him but he was never going to amount to much and I didn’t really like him”.
Idk when my brother shot himself I would gladly have told the whole church about the time he was swerving while drunk driving and laughing at me for being scared at like 13 years old or the time he held me over the edge of a cliff. The pastor took me for a walk and let me rant at him instead (great dude actually he was a dead ringer for Fred Rogers in appearance, personality, and profession).
Sure but both you and that pastor clearly understand why saying that to the whole church would not have served any purpose and made you look like an asshole, right?
Correct. Like what the fuck are people supposed to say? Talk about his search history?
No, you’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead. Doesn’t mean you have to make shit up. I didn’t say a word at my father’s funeral.
I didn’t say it’s mandatory to say nice things about people who have died.
I’m sorry your dad was shit.
“He was gonna feel stuck at a dead-end job, burn out in a few years, get hooked on drugs or alcohol or netflix to distract him from the pain of a mediocre existence, and ultimately settle for a life that is much less than the one he dreamed of as a child, just like the rest of us.”
“DON’T SAY THAT, HE HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL!!!”
Look. This is politeness. This is slightly different, but kinda related… I’m a teacher. If a kid got bad grades, obviously he did, the parents will see that. In my written comment, should I say he was a slacker? No. Why bother. Better to express hope for what he can do well in the future.
The same information is conveyed, but the respect shown to the person is different.
As a former public schools facilitator & FB coach, & posted a very unpopular thread that asked a feed asking them to use Challenges, instead Disabilities, I understand where you are coming from, but I agree with both points. I am student(s) died, than you are right, but I think the thread starting member is talking media that truly will never know young person (people) who has died. & only doing it for profits, thus will never care to.
Calling someone a loser or saying they haven’t accomplished anything is a judgement on someone’s past and present self.
Talking about someone’s bright future is recognition of the fact that they had potential and opportunities that will never be realized.
If you’re thinking about suicide, please call 988 (USA) or an equivalent service in your country. I hope you get well soon.
The 988 where they trace your phone call and send armed thugs to your house so they can take you to a place you don’t wanna be?
Lol, nah, I’m good, I’d rather just rant online
What? Ok so I’ll ignore how ridiculous that is and just suggest another resource because talking about being depressed and how people will remember you or not in the same sentence is a big red flag for suicidal thoughts.
-crisis text line: text hello to 741741
Schrodinger’s potential
Stop giving a shit what others think about you and just live how you want. You’ll be surprised how much happier you are and how little opinions of people matter.
Often they’re sad he didn’t realize he had a bright future ahead. Fortunately, you do. Or if you didn’t, you do now. You can’t judge your life by how it is now. Especially with the world in shitty shape generally. But mostly because you’re young. Regrets for your wasted promise are a privilege reserved for old farts like myself. You still have choices to make, and time for them to play out Choose as well as you can. And don’t be afraid to change directions as necessary.
Makes me wonder what I would be called if I died in a car crash at my current age of 40 🤔
“It’s a Christmas miracle he survived!”
If people are ostracizing you for struggling with depression, you're hanging out with the wrong people.
And if you only think that's what's happening, you probably need to stop listening to your liar depression brain
If you are, hang in there. The emotional weather can change!
Lmao “hang in there”
Oh I’m hanging in there alright, just barely hanging by the neck 💀
.< that was not my intention!
Mostly true but one thing is wrong, no one is ostracizing you. Most people don’t think about anyone other than themselves.
You don’t have to care about someone to acknowledge that they could have done much more if they didn’t pass away at a young age. Even you still have that opportunity.
A lot of people struggle with depression, but like most things in life, the key is practice. Just keep it up, don’t get discouraged! One day you will be great at depression.
So great at depression, you um… die by big sad
People just say that to make themselves feel better. Or maybe they believe their “loser” friend would have one day come out of it.
If this is you, I highly recommend reading The Power of Now. Hugely helpful book thats not preaching or religious, it just focuses on how to live life in the now, which is how you achieve true peace and happiness. There is nothing but the now.
I read it a few times every year. Its been massively stress relieving.
The moment they are struggling with depression I make out with them. How does that make me a hypocrite?
That’s because the media and the government will use your dead to do their propaganda
Hindsight is 20/20, even Van Gogh was totally ignored until after his tragic death.
BINGO, AWESOME THINKING, THANK YOU!!!!! Of course, I only heard this true The Capitalist Lamestream media- news-movies, & you know they truly do not know the young people who die or cared about them, real or characters, beyond profits.
saltesc@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Think you just pinpointed a major kink of your depression. Consumed by what others are thinking, even though that’s their problem and not your’s. I’m sure there’s more, but I wouldn’t be consumed about how you appear to others unless you want to live for everyone else’s ideals and the xp citations rather than what you want.
YeahIgotskills2@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I think that’s one of the key things that makes folk generally feel happier when they’re older. I’m 48 and have never been so comfortable in my own skin, despite naturally being less physically healthy and attractive than in my teens.
I used to care so much about what peers thought, but now I’ve lived long enough to realise how few of the people I was worried about pleasing are still in my life and how unimportant they are as the journey of life plays out.
If I’d have known this in my teens I’d have been way happier. You just have to treat people well and, where it’s not reciprocated, forget about them and move on.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
If everyone decides to hate you and treat you like you’re contagious for having depression because mental health stigma has come back with a vengeance over the past five years, then that absolutely is your problem.
If you can’t land a job because potential employers always ask about that gap in your resume that you can’t explain cause you were too depressed to function, that’s definitely your problem too.
I’m sick of this “Oh just stop caring what other people think of you, it’ll be fine.” It’s no better than saying “Why are you depressed? Your life is fine. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get out of bed, take a shower, eat healthier, get some exercise, find a hobby, go out and meet people, make friends, yadda yadda yadda.”
It puts the impetus on the person suffering from depression to somehow magically bootstrap their way back to perfect mental health by some imaginary force of will as if it were as simple as flipping a light switch, when for many people with depression the reality is that they’ve tried all things and can’t manage to do them with any consistency, the depression itself makes them infinitely harder, and often some of these options simply aren’t on the table (like “making friends” in a word that’s collectively allergic to depressed people). If you cant remember the last time you were genuinely happy, because you were basically a young kid at that time, then your physical brain has developed in ways that leave it deficient in the structures and functions that produce the experience of happiness.
What is so hard to understand about that?
Woht24@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I always see this argument and think ‘you’re just backing yourself into a corner’.
You seem absolutely sure what the solution isn’t, do you know what the solution is?
INeedMana@piefed.zip 2 weeks ago
At first I didn’t like your post because I think strangers on the internet should not be getting into others’ heads, naming stuff. OP’s title might have been hypothetical
But the second paragraph is on-point. I stopped having my issues once I let me to take part in my life
saltesc@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Aye. Internet comments are usually opinion vs opinion; worrying about the thoughts of others first, knowing there’s a conflict to “win” rather than ponder.
Online commentary is usually people never making it past the preface before slamming the book. That’s why wenews article titles being how they are; few people actually ually open and read the article.
My kudos to you for keeping it real and listening to the whole song 🙂
Scubus@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
For me its not so much that, its moreso just that I am disgusted by those that claim to be virtuous and pretend to care. Most people only care about others socially, when those people are struggling they rarely help unless theres social consequences for not helping.
I just hate hypocrites
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
When there’s a big, performative event for Suicide Prevention Month, everyone turns out and it’s a big thing with mock sympathy and moral pedestal standing. Everyone tosses around mottos like “seeking help isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength” and whatnot.
But when you personally struggle with suicidal ideations, even during Suicide Prevention Month, and you try mentioning it anywhere, everyone shrieks and treats you like an asshole, and then nobody comes near you for the rest of your life…