The events at hogwarts were just an escalating series of magical school shootings 🤔

Comments

• Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  “Hey Neville, here’s your Remembrall back.”
  “You were always nice to me, Potter. Don’t come to potions class tomorrow.”

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  • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Geezer that’s dark. Upvote.

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• SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Wands don’t kill people, wizards kill people

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  • joyjoy@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Voldemort almost killed Ginny with a book.

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    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Time to ban books

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    • ramble81@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Now I’m imagining him beating her repeatedly with a book.

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The pen is mightier than the sword indeed

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  • Maiq@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If you see something send a howler about it.

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    • teft@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      As the local Auror at Hogsmeade I advise against sending howlers. Please just use your patronus like a normal person when you send a message to us. We don’t need 4000 howlers in our office, thanks.

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  • Knoxvomica@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    At least in this case a bad guy with a wand was stopped by a good guy with a wand. Come on people.

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    • MousePotatoDoesStuff@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I thought it said “a bald guy with a wand” which also fits in this case.

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• Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  doesn’t count, it wasn’t by a trans student or they were “gang violence”

  *gets shot in neck*

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Didn’t Voldemort, like, grow an entirely new body after his previous one was obliterated? That’s gotta count as some form of trans- prefixed thing, right? Like transubstantiation?

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    • VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The new body is distinctly inhuman, so it’s also transhumanism.

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    • FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      He also changed his name

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    • Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I don’t think cloning is a trans thing

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  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The school sorts you into one of four gangs for this express purpose.

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    • Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Red : bloods.
      Blue : crips
      Yellow : banana boys.
      Green : ???

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• lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  That story isn’t worth thinking about in any shower.

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  • ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    True… What actually inspired that thought, indirectly, was thinking about how the anime I was watching (seven spellblades) felt like a more interesting wizarding universe than HP.

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    • jacksilver@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You should check out Mashle, it’s basically a parody of your typical “magic school” anime where the main character can’t use magic and literally just out muscles everyone.

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    • BlackLaZoR@fedia.io ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Also fuck JKR

      Meanwhile Hogwarts Legacy sold like 40mln copies? Most people don't care about dumb politics

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    • lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You should delete this post.

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  • FatVegan@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I got the first and the second book from my mom when they came out. While i didn’t love them per se, i liked them enough that they peaked my interest in becoming a reader, and i started to read more books, and i’m thankful for that.

    Since then i had a few girlfriends who were super into HP and they made me watch the movies, and i have to say, these stories are not thought out at all, and are often dumb as hell. I don’t really remember much, but just the fact that quidditch doesn’t make a lick of sense is really telling. Or goblet of fire, they were okay to let them play with dragons. Everyone shrugged and told HP that well, he might die. Someone would’ve drowned if he didn’t break the rules and people were pretty upset about the rule breaking. And at the end, Cedric died and everyone was absolutely shocked and devastated that someone died at the murder tournament.

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• FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Year one: threat averted, most students unaffected

  Year two: several students attacked but no deaths

  Year three: alleged killer on the loose but nobody gets hurt

  Year four: two students are kidnapped from athletic competition, one killed and the other almost killed

  Year five: strangely, no attacks on the school

  Year six: student attempts to kill principal twice, injuring two other students in the process, then lets in an army of known killers to attack the school, principal is killed

  Year seven: big battle, several people killed on both sides

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  • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Year three: alleged killer on the loose but nobody gets hurt

    I mean, several students get attacked by a werewolf and 100 dementors in the same night, nearly resulting in 3 people (2 of them students) losing their very souls. And of course, poor Draco maimed by Buckb- uh… I mean, Witherwings.

    Year five: strangely, no attacks on the school

    That’s a very diplomatic way to skirt around the governmental coup of the school implementing totalitarian control by a racist megalomaniac, restricting basic rights, turning students into secret police, and punishing discent with literal fucking torture.

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  • ceenote@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Clearly, the High Inquisitor program was a success, and the fake news Daily Prophet was libelously alleging it wasn’t.

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  • njm1314@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Another way to think of year five is that there was a terrorist attack on an unofficial School field trip.

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  • MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Books or movies? Book year 5

    just in case anyone still interested

    had Umbridge/minstery of magic come in to get rid of Hagrid. McGonagall I think even got injured fighting back.

    As I’m typing this out, I’m suddenly remembered of Um, Actually, and how this could have been a good question for the show

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    • FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You’re right, I forgot about that fight

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• NickwithaC@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Most American take on the story ever!

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• roofuskit@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  The events at Hogwarts fund hate.

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