ceenote

@ceenote@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump renames U.S. Institute of Peace after himself⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  The U.S. Institute of Pedophiles?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Shut up science!!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Fine! I’ll use my laptop instead.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Porsche Cars in Russia Shut Down After Satellite System Failure⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Probably can’t do this unless you’ve already bought it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Half of the US Now Requires You to Upload Your ID or Scan Your Face to Watch Porn⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  We need to keep our voters angry

  I have an amazing idea

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Datacenters in space are a terrible, horrible, no good idea.⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I propose we adopt the space data center idea, as long as the billionaire owner is the one who has to go maintain it.

  They could just pull up on their bootstraps until they’re in orbit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Halloween is a more giving and fun holiday than Christmas⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m willing to let thar slide for almost anyone born pre-enlightment. As long as they didn’t get super murdery over it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨MAGA, rebranded!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Is being devoted to a pedophile even more disgusting than being a pedophile?

  Of course not, but it’s still pretty pathetic.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It improves the morale of the future worker.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Baby, don’t grit your hidden teeth. They’ll bleed, and you don’t have insurance, baby.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It improves the morale of the future worker.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Just grit your teeth and bear it, baby. If you were an adult, you’d wish you’d just gotten spanked instead of having your life ruined.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨geological contingency plan⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I wish I’d known about this strategy when my rival picked geologist as his starting Pokémon.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨In stores now!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  This post made me give just enough thought to corn on the cob that I’ve decided to quietly and nonchalantly eat it in a corkscrew pattern this Thanksgiving just to mess with anyone who notices.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨In stores now!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  How would latitudinal eating even work?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Forever young⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s why I’m an RTS enjoyer. Less twitch reflexes and more know-how, control, and good habits.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Moisturize me⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I think you and I are about to become very close.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Seriously, Bert!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s not all bad. If you’d gone door to door last month, you could have gotten some free candy, though.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang complains about stock price slide during all-hands meeting — says market did not appreciate company’s ‘incredible’ quarter⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Pretended to make a bunch of money. Stock buybacks and investing in AI companies so they’ll buy your hardware doesn’t count.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨True romance, despite everything.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Found my “I hope this is real, it’d be so goddamn funny” of the day

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Find the Piggy⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I only see a hog

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Finally.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Are you saying woo, or is that air escaping from the folds of your fat?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You don't even need the other 4 points. You're fine.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:
  2. Draw the rest of the goddamn owl
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Deep throat⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  If this is true it will be the funniest goddamn thing in US history.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Scandal⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It would almost make Trump’s political career worth it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Brushing teeth before going to the dentist has the same motivator as shaving pubes before going to the gynecologist: If someone's going to be looking inside there, you want it to look nice.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Unethical mostly because lying bad. Lying to medical professionals bad and dumb.

  I only did it like twice. I floss regularly now.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Red Dead Redemption Coming to Netflix, iOS, Android, PS5, Xbox Series X|S, and Nintendo Switch 2⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ll wait for the TI-83 port.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Brushing teeth before going to the dentist has the same motivator as shaving pubes before going to the gynecologist: If someone's going to be looking inside there, you want it to look nice.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Unethical lifehack: if you start flossing every day about a week before your appointment, you’ll be indistinguishable from someone who actually losses regularly.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Elon's Woody⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Round off the edges and I might actually start to like it. Looking like it was a school project is probably the only charm they can hope for.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨xkcd #3167: Car Size⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Clearly we need to start actively destroying larger vehicles to address this problem.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Don’t kink shame.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨28-pound electric motor delivers 1000 horsepower⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Americans will use ANYTHING to avoid metric.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Apple is reportedly getting ready to introduce ads to its Maps app⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The thing is, Apple getting worse is coinciding with everything else getting worse, too.