Great guy

Comments

• bottleofchips@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Plot twist: it was someone else’s kidney

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  • Duranie@leminal.space ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Turns out Keanu had witnessed somebody walking their dog, and that person kept jerking on the leash and kicked the dog. After rescuing the dog, the offender was tied up in Keanu’s backseat. Kidney donation is 100% justifiable consequence of his actions.

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    • fonix232@fedia.io ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      This is the sustainable organ farming the future needs.

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  • Nasan@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    He removed someone’s kidney with a pennnnnciilllll

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    • ironhydroxide@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Then gave them pennnnicillllinnn

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      a fooking pencieeeeeellll!

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  • AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    His glove compartment is just full of them.

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  • CannedYeet@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Where’d you get this kidney?

    Found it

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• pleasureyoucanmeasure@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  When I was younger, maybe junior high, I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my sister got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in but Keanu Reeves!

  I was nervous as fuck, and just kept looking at him as he read a magazine and waited, but didn’t know what to say. Pretty soon though my niece started crying, and I’m trying to quiet her down because I didn’t want her to bother Keanu, but she just wouldn’t stop. Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asking what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So, Keanu put down his magazine, picked up my niece and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of a hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

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  • toynbee@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I believed you for the first sentence, then you betrayed me.

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    • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Right? I bet they don’t even have a niece, I bet it was actually them that this happened to

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  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    He ran his fingers through her hair before putting down the magazine? Impossibly awkward. That’s how I knew your story was a lie.

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• steeznson@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I saw Keanu Reeves at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

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  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Finally people are beginning to see the REAL Keanu.

    And bonus points to Keanu for inventing a new word.

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  • tym@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    keep that filthy reddit copypasta out of lemmy

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    • steeznson@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      It’s from /mu/ originally

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• db2@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If it worked that way he probably would though.

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• blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Johnny Kidneyhands

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• rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Johnny Kidneyhand.

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• ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I thought the second photo was John Wick twisting the hand of the guy next to him to keep him quiet

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• Lumidaub@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  He’s so dreamy

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• DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Average Reddit Post be like:

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  • FatVegan@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I would literally die for Keanu. He’s the most epic person on the planet and not a bad actor at all. He doesn’t know me but we are kind of like best friends.

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• notreallyhere@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  fake

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  • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Image

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    • notreallyhere@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      good point its probably true

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  • titanicx@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    There is no way you just called Jesus fake.

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    • notreallyhere@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      he never really existed

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• BreadOven@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Little known fact, Keanu can regenerate organs.

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• hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  uhh you mayybe shouldn’t handle a kidney with your bare hands??

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  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    It’s only safe to do in third-world countries.

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  • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    how else do you eat kidney beans?

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    • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      with a fork or a spoon, usually

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  • toynbee@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You’ve clearly never watched The Good Doctor.

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    • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I haven’t, but a good doctor probably wouldn’t do that.

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• rmuk@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Just one kidney? Pathetic.

  youtu.be/D_5nLxZVoPo

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• DmMacniel@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  John(ny) is just the best!

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• 20cello@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  For free?

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• Feddinat0r@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Classical keanu

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• crumbgrabber@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Only one kidney?

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  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    he harvestated from his wick days.

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• Blackmist@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Will he turned me into a newt…

  I got better.

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