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Remember to 2FA your kidneys.

⁨969⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨fossilesque@mander.xyz⁩ to ⁨science_memes@mander.xyz⁩

https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/5375a435-10bb-4403-9619-9643120e4642.jpeg

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Comments

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  • taiyang@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The best part of these jokes is that AI will suggest it as a solution in a couple months when you search.

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    • cRazi_man@europe.pub ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The British Medical Journal has a Christmas issue in which they publish lighthearted, amusing “evidence”. That really sucks with AI.

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  • argh_another_username@lemmy.ca ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    No, wait. I want the real answer. Is that a thing, bio-memory or whatever?

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    • perishthethought@piefed.social ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Ikr? You want a real answer but people just keep giving you jokes, or change the topic, or reply with memes / emoticons.

      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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      • FauxLiving@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

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    • Lumisal@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It’s actually not known why, but it’s very common with kidney transplant. I was told it’s thought to be because of the bladder, not the kidney (since we can go years without peeing before transplant).

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      • FauxLiving@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        That makes sense, the bladder isn’t used to having a normal volume of urine and has become extra sensitive, leading to an urge to urinate at a lower capacity.

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      • tdawg@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Man I wish I could go years without peeing. Would save so much time

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      • echodot@feddit.uk ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        we can go years without peeing before transplant

        I’m sure I’m passing this sentence wrong, but I cannot work it out. It sounds like you’re saying that sometimes people don’t pee until they’ve had a transplant.

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      • FromPieces@lemmygrad.ml ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        If you go years without peeing, where does the pee go?

        Do the balls just start getting bigger?

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    • Natanael@infosec.pub ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Every organ has their own nerves. Some have more or less their own brain cells (especially your gut). All nerves have memory to some degree - muscle memory is literally a thing

      The amount of local regulatory control varies between organs, but the more complex they are the more you can assume the internal nerves control most of it and that the connection to the brain regulates it somewhat

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    • lath@piefed.social ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I'd say it's a thing. Different bodies, different habits, different rhythms.

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    • cyrano@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      🌏👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀🌌

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  • DivineDev@piefed.social ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    He's joking now but just wait for the inevitable cyberdystopia where HP manufacturers replacement organs.

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    • T156@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You joke, but there are already protheses which are proprietary, and have shut down. Artificial eyes is a famous example, where the company making one shut down the product line, and blinded people who’d had it installed, due to it just shutting off.

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      • DivineDev@piefed.social ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        In a good world this type of shit would be illegal. We'll need a stop killing games petition but for organs soon

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      • echodot@feddit.uk ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Why would the company shutting down brick the device? Is it calling back home for processing or something.

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      • samus12345@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Cyberpunk really sucks when it’s all corpo and no chop shops.

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    • e0qdk@reddthat.com ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Digital Renal Management

      …simultaneously rolled out with Digital Rectal Management, of course.

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      • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Brings a whole new meaning to the ol’ “drink verification can” meme. The artificial kidney could scan the contents for firmware updates and stuff. Maybe it shuts off if you don’t drink one every week.

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        For speech readers, not sure if something this long will fit in the alt text.

        (This isn’t the original text but it’s close enough to get the joke. The dates and game were different in the original. This was what some copypasta website gave me.) -2018 -wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games -excited to play some halo 2k19 -“xbox on” -… -“XBOX ON” -"Please verify that you are “annon332” by saying “Doritos™ Dew™ it right!” -“Doritos™ Dew™ it right” -“ERROR! Please drink a verification can” -reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest -only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night -still feeling sick from the 14 -force it down and grumble out “mmmm that really hit the spot” -xbox does nothing -i attempt to smile -“Connecting to verification server” -… -“Verification complete!” -finally -boot up halo 2k19 -finding multiplayer match… -“ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!” -my mother just walked in the room -“Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?” -“NO!” -“Console entering lock state!” -“to unlock drink verification can” -last can -“WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card” -drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick -pour the last half out the window -“PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE” -the mountain dew ad plays -i have to dance for it -feeling so sick -makes me sing along -dancing and singing -“mountain dew is for me and you” -throw up on my self -throw up on my tv and entertainment system -router shorts -“ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF” -“PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE”

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      • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Digital Rectal Management

        Bum finger as the Brits call it

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      • isame@hexbear.net ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I’m going to need y’all both to step away from the lathe.

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    • blackstampede@sh.itjust.works ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repo!_The_Genetic_Opera

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      • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Don’t care for musicals in general but this was worth watching for zydrate anatomy alone.

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    • 7bicycles@hexbear.net ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      don’t have to wait, that’s happened already

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      • isame@hexbear.net ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        This should be illegal.

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  • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Lol I thought “2FA” meant “Second Fucking Amendment” and I was supposed to shoot my own kidney.

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    • fossilesque@mander.xyz ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That’s one way to solve a lot of problems.

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      • Jolteon@lemmy.zip ⁨31⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

        A sufficient amount of violence can solve all problems. It’s not necessarily the best solution for any given problem, or even a good one, but it’s definitely a solution.

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  • Lemminary@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I wish I had a friend I wouldn’t think twice about donating an organ to. In my experience, people tend to be less than grateful when I go the extra mile for them, having had that happen four separate times in five years. If I had given anyone a kidney and I had to terminate that friendship over their behavior, I’d be very sour about it.

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  • _cryptagion@quokk.au ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You know you got a true friend when they give you one of their kidneys.

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    • GiveOver@feddit.uk ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      But make sure you get yourself into a nighttime pissing habit first, for the lolz

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    • BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Many people are good friends with this fella then

      Image

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    • axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What if they sold one for me?

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  • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I hate 2fa so very much and long for the world of the past where just having a fucking account and a password was enough, now you need to break your fucking email and wait for a fucking text to turn on your fucking toaster

    I don’t care what security nerds say I don’t need every single fucking god damn thing to have the same security as a bank account

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    • lemmyknow@lemmy.today ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Bro wants hacked 💀

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      • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        ok hack me

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    • smiletolerantly@awful.systems ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Would passkeys solve your grievances for you?

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    • yonderbarn@lazysoci.al ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I used to hate it too. Now I understand the importance of security and believe 2FA should be required everywhere.

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      • astutemural@midwest.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Used to agree to this, until it turned out that SMS basically doesn’t work in rural areas.. Theoretically you can get a voice call with the code, but I’ve personally ran into instances where the 2FA voice call simply doesn’t work on landlines. If we’re going to do 2FA, it has to be something so universal anyone can do it. So far, I don’t think we’ve achieved that. I think people have a right to access banking services, etc, and if 2FA doesn’t work for them, we’re deciding to simply ban them from using those services. Doesn’t sit right with me.

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    • Lussy@hexbear.net ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      And the password’s already been compromised and distributed so far and wide your neighbor’s dog knows it by memory.

      If my 16bit alphanumeric password in ancient Mayan and morse code is operationally useless, can we just sign in via emoji?

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  • HakunaHafada@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Sounds like the kidneys could use some load balancing too.

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