Gosh, only thing I can think of is self-repairing telomeres.
Everything else is perfect, might as well live for hundreds of years.
Thats fair
Submitted 2 days ago by kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/a94353ed-ff2a-4fd2-ae38-727db06ee3d8.png
Comments
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 2 days ago
baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de [bot] 2 days ago
I wouldn’t be optimistic, something else may break
Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Everything else is perfect? You don’t have articulations?
Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Just an immortal pile of goo.
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 2 days ago
My joints are as good now as when I was 21, and they are supported by my broad range of glorious and balanced musculature.
starbrite@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
My brain, i hate being neurodivergent it’d be so great to just fOCUSSS
Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
It’s funny, there’s a local program where people can anonymously ask adults and kids with various handicaps questions they wouldn’t dare ask them directly and “would you rather not have it” is always one of them. The adults always dodge the question by saying that it’s not as bad as it seems and so on and then the kids always reply like you did “I would much rather not have any issues!”
kopasz7@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
The adults: I learned to live with it and now it became part of my identity
The kids: this sucks! everyone’s mean to me and the world makes no sense!
Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I’d upgrade the depression away from my brain and give myself the ability for hyperfocus at will and to turn off sensory issues. Taking the autism and ADHD away altogether would leave me a different human, idk that almost feels like dying a little bit, or being lobotomized. Wouldn’t want to lose a part of my brain that makes me me. But super valid to want to be neurotypical!
Thinking about it, if it counts as an organ, idk if I wouldn’t rather change my immune system to stop attacking healthy tissue and get better at attacking viruses instead. Tough choice.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 days ago
monkey’s paw curls
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 2 days ago
When a monkey’s paw’s last wish is spent, you have a monkey’s fist.
FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 2 days ago
The only upgrade I want is to be able to control the hyperfocus
someacnt@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Same, I hate not being able to socialize.
ulterno@programming.dev 2 days ago
Considering what it means to be “normal” around me, I’d rather be divergent.
But then again, I manage to focus well enough.
hOrni@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I already have a big cock. So I would choose a bigger cock.
crowbar@lemm.ee 2 days ago
Hey, spare some cock for us too!
Hmm i think i worded that wrong…
BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Infinite wishes situation : upgrade your brain such that you are sufficiently smart to bio-engineer all the other organs.
mechoman444@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Or! OR! Downgrade your brain so you’re just dumb enough to feel constant happiness.
moseschrute@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence? What if your brain upgrade becomes an emotional downgrade?
Huschke@lemmy.world 1 day ago
You could always downgrade your brain again after you’re done.
trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence?
Is there even a correlation?
Tattorack@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Having a bigger dick is overrated. Great for fantasy, but very impractical.
I’d upgrade my lungs to be better filters and oxygenate my blood. My immune system to fight diseases my efficiently (turn it into a scalpel rather than a cluster-nuke). My brain to retain it’s learning capabilities well I to my later years. Completely overhaul my metabolism so that I won’t have to do heavy exercise to get good muscles (really, all that exercise just exists to make one chemical reaction happen).
After that, then, only then, might I consider doing something with my dick. Though perhaps more with my balls, so I can just switch off the reproductive capabilities to ensure safe sex.
Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Definitely my spine. There’s a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.
toastmeister@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Is it a form problem?
JayJay@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I would upgrade my brain to be able to consciously control all the little automatic stuff. Tell my brain to up the metabolic rate when I want to burn more fat, increase heart rate when exercising, basically to be able to consciously control all functions of my body at will.
DoubleSpace@lemm.ee 23 hours ago
I can’t be trusted with direct control of the of my pleasure center of my brain.
untakenusername@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
better brain
with that I can make more money and with that I can just buy new organs
Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Congrats. You now feel anxiety twice as intensely.
untakenusername@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
yeah but now I can buy 2x the anxiety meds because of all my money
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
I’d like to upgrade my penis into super penis, two barrels, break action instead of the pump action, then I’ll create a new sex act called “Quakeing”, where you strafe around your sexual partner while constantly ejaculating on them with your super penis.
Hyphlosion@lemm.ee 2 days ago
Sometimes I wonder if my brain was already donated.
Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Can we pick the nature of the upgrade? I want to pee champagne
altphoto@lemmy.today 2 days ago
I asked the lady with no legs. She said bigger dick.
Evotech@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Probably brain, responsetime
Who am I kidding, it’s gonna be vibrating dick
Karjalan@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Good newss! If you use a massage gun pressed right to the base of your dick, it vibrates like a vibrator.
Great trick if she’s on top, fun for everyone
kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
I think somewhere on the internet there is a whole ass manhwa based on this concept
Aeri@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Heart failure is one of the biggest killers out there. I think you’d have a better odds of living a long life with some kind of super heart. Your heart is basically just a water pump that has to remain online for 100 years or you die fast.
Lumiluz@slrpnk.net 2 days ago
Unless your lungs fail
Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
The heart will take that on after the lung layoff.
volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 2 days ago
That’s a good point, but in my opinion the other common deaths are way worse. Cancer? Living with the anxiety of impending death and constantly getting sicker, more in pain and being nauseous from medication? Or COPD, feeling like you are suffocating slowly? Alzheimers, Parkinsons? Or my personal fear - dying from a stupid simple cold? Man, I take a heart attack any day of the week.
Aeri@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Yeah, I’m just thinking about the meta pick for general longevity.
turtlesareneat@discuss.online 2 days ago
I have a friend who’s losing the battle with cancer right now and I didn’t really appreciate how bad it would be. Both the cancer itself, and having this much forewarning. I would rather it be quick and surprise. For my sake lol screw everyone else
Rolder@reddthat.com 2 days ago
Can I just say “my immune system”? That’d prevent all kinds of diseases and make you cancer proof!
tocano@lemmy.today 2 days ago
not an organ and having a stronger immune system would kill you
Rolder@reddthat.com 2 days ago
Post didn’t say stronger it said upgrade. And it wouldn’t be an upgrade if it killed me!
frog_brawler@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Upgrade my liver, stay drunk for the next 3 years and 9 months.
apex32@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Isn’t that backwards? The liver filters alcohol out of the body. I would think an upgraded liver would sober you up quicker.
frog_brawler@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Rethinking this… no. I’m UPGRADING the liver to keep me drunk for 3 years and 9 months and not be sober. The upgrade is drunk and not dying.
smeenz@lemmy.nz 2 days ago
Wouldn’t being able to enter a coma on demand be more useful ?
frog_brawler@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Yes, but which organ do you upgrade to do that?
guy@piefed.social 2 days ago
Brain is a no-brainer. It's okay as it is, but having an optimal one sounds terrific
wabafee@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Would it still be you after the upgrade?
hedge_lord@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Gee I sure hope not
callyral@pawb.social 1 day ago
if i were smarter, i’d be able to answer that
Zentron@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Id like to switch my autism on and off
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 days ago
All y’all are picking dick.
But the correct answer is that balls. Need something more durable and with a faster reload time.
13igTyme@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Then you want to upgrade your prostate.
illegible@discuss.tchncs.de 2 days ago
How many times a day do you need to jerk off?!
Ebber@lemmings.world 2 days ago
Careful with that, you probably wouldn’t want to end up in a StuG 3 Ausf B situation
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 days ago
rubbing a monkey’s paw
Oh no! I didn’t realize I was asking for Nazi balls!
throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
balls
Instructions Unclear, accidentally became leader of Ukraine.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 days ago
You’ll be limited by shaft resilience before reload time, especially over multi-day operations.
son_named_bort@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I’d upgrade my balls so that they aren’t vulnerable when being attacked. That way I can steal Bobby Hill’s purse and get away with it.
throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Transgender Men have joined the chat
Quique@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Since when is a dick an organ?
daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As an audiophile, probably my ears. I wanna be able to hear over 19khz.
callyral@pawb.social 1 day ago
Upgrade my eyes so I can sense different wavelengths of light at will. I would also make them very resistant to blindness.
weariedfae@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Sinuses. Those fuckers are overdue for an upgrade. Can you imagine never being congested again?
Brain is the right answer but sinuses are #2.
gimsy@feddit.it 1 day ago
One of:
- eyes to see a wider spectrum of light (infrared to gamma-ray)
- ears to increase sensitivity or reduce it close to 0 a will
- nose to smell all dangerous stuff that is odourless (carbon monoxide f.e.)
- muscles not to lose training after a few days (I am not sure that wouldn’t fuck up methabolism)
- have an organ to catch radiowaves (while being capable to switch it off)
- brown fat cells to never feel cold (with added super bonus that they also kill cancer by starving it)
- liver to remove toxins without being easily damaged
The choice is difficult :)
spudsrus@aussie.zone 2 days ago
Tough call…
Do you pick the one that will probably kill you or the one making quality of life kinda shit.
Awkward when fixing the organ doesn’t fix the problems with it
(•_•)
nerv@lemmynsfw.com 2 days ago
Skeletal structure.
This implies stronger bones and stronger joints. With a stronger framework to hold your muscles, you get a sturdier body.
shneancy@lemmy.world 2 days ago
my skin, i think the one organ that protects all the other organs is long overdue for an upgrade
umbraroze@lemmy.world 1 day ago
felixwhynot@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Banger post. Deaf community goes hard
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 days ago
Sorry, can’t hear you over my massive dong.