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Thats fair

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Submitted ⁨⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/a94353ed-ff2a-4fd2-ae38-727db06ee3d8.png

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Comments

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  • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’d like to upgrade my penis into super penis, two barrels, break action instead of the pump action, then I’ll create a new sex act called “Quakeing”, where you strafe around your sexual partner while constantly ejaculating on them with your super penis.

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    • notabot@piefed.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You want a break action penis, so you have to manually reload every couple of shots? Nah, you want belt fed, just hold the trigger and go!

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    • tetris11@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Welp, that’s enough internet for today

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  • Quique@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Since when is a dick an organ?

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    • Shape4985@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Reproductive organ

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  • Formfiller@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Liver

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  • JayJay@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I would upgrade my brain to be able to consciously control all the little automatic stuff. Tell my brain to up the metabolic rate when I want to burn more fat, increase heart rate when exercising, basically to be able to consciously control all functions of my body at will.

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    • DoubleSpace@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I can’t be trusted with direct control of the of my pleasure center of my brain.

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      • tetris11@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        You could control yourself to control yourself

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  • callyral@pawb.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Upgrade my eyes so I can sense different wavelengths of light at will. I would also make them very resistant to blindness.

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  • umbraroze@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    He he he

    Image

    [Cyberpunk 2077 music]

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  • RangerJosey@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I was born flatfooted. I’d make my feet and legs normal.

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  • BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Infinite wishes situation : upgrade your brain such that you are sufficiently smart to bio-engineer all the other organs.

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    • mechoman444@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Or! OR! Downgrade your brain so you’re just dumb enough to feel constant happiness.

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    • moseschrute@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence? What if your brain upgrade becomes an emotional downgrade?

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      • Huschke@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        You could always downgrade your brain again after you’re done.

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      • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence?

        Is there even a correlation?

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  • daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    As an audiophile, probably my ears. I wanna be able to hear over 19khz.

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    • BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Ok but it needs to be an ‘activable’ skill, if it’s always on it could be a nightmare with all kinds of background noises continuously ringing in your ear.

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    • Uebercomplicated@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Yep, super hearing for me too please. Imagine actually being able to appreciate 192khz recordings… damn. Actually, I don’t even think my HD600s go that high

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    • bampop@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I can hear slightly higher frequencies than most, I think. Back when TVs used cathode ray tubes I’d have problems with the small portable TVs because they would emit an annoying high pitched tone. Even high pitched tones unintentionally mixed into records. The world is designed for people with typical senses.

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      • hex@programming.dev ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        My buddy has a CRT. It makes a very high pitched noise, close to 18900hz. But it’s not above what most people can hear, most humans can hear up to 20,000hz. Over time this decreases of course. But every time I go to this guy’s house I can hear the CRT going, so loud, so annoying.

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  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Upgrade my butt. Poot existential dread instead of regular feces.

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    • bampop@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I used to think that if I could have a superpower I 'd like to be able to take a big rancid shit at will, but open up a portal so it would arrive in the pants of a person of my choosing. But then it wouldn’t even work on Trump so what’s the point

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    • FurryMemesAccount@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It definitely didn’t end the way I expected

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      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Neither did i

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  • gimsy@feddit.it ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    One of:

    • eyes to see a wider spectrum of light (infrared to gamma-ray)
    • ears to increase sensitivity or reduce it close to 0 a will
    • nose to smell all dangerous stuff that is odourless (carbon monoxide f.e.)
    • muscles not to lose training after a few days (I am not sure that wouldn’t fuck up methabolism)
    • have an organ to catch radiowaves (while being capable to switch it off)
    • brown fat cells to never feel cold (with added super bonus that they also kill cancer by starving it)
    • liver to remove toxins without being easily damaged

    The choice is difficult :)

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    • flying_sheep@lemmy.ml ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Brown fat cells would also make you burn more calories doing nothing

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      • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        If you’re in a first world country and making a decent salary that just becomes a lower chance of obesity and diabetes

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Been playing Lies of P and I find it funny to say I would upgrade my P-Organ. 😏

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  • guy@piefed.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Brain is a no-brainer. It's okay as it is, but having an optimal one sounds terrific

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    • Zentron@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Id like to switch my autism on and off

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    • wabafee@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Would it still be you after the upgrade?

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      • hedge_lord@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Gee I sure hope not

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      • callyral@pawb.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        if i were smarter, i’d be able to answer that

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  • spudsrus@aussie.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Tough call…

    Do you pick the one that will probably kill you or the one making quality of life kinda shit.

    Awkward when fixing the organ doesn’t fix the problems with it

    (•_•)

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    • SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Idk cause making my pp bigger in my mind fixes all of my problems.

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  • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’d upgrade my ass so that I didn’t need to shit, it just like teleported the poop somewhere

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    • meliaesc@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Absolutely no way, finishing a good poo is such a relief.

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      • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        You can still do it, just anywhere.

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  • FourWaveforms@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I would like a second of the same dong. undecided as to configuration (over-and-under vs. side-by-side)

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    • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Under/over of course.
      You can be a one-man DP

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  • son_named_bort@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’d upgrade my balls so that they aren’t vulnerable when being attacked. That way I can steal Bobby Hill’s purse and get away with it.

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  • C1pher@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Classic.

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  • Cryophilia@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Can we pick the nature of the upgrade? I want to pee champagne

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    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      From now on you’re french

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      • Cryophilia@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Merde!

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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    All y’all are picking dick.

    But the correct answer is that balls. Need something more durable and with a faster reload time.

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    • FourWaveforms@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      that’s okay my homies can hook me up with a reload

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    • 13igTyme@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Then you want to upgrade your prostate.

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    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You’ll be limited by shaft resilience before reload time, especially over multi-day operations.

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    • Ebber@lemmings.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Careful with that, you probably wouldn’t want to end up in a StuG 3 Ausf B situation

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      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        rubbing a monkey’s paw

        Oh no! I didn’t realize I was asking for Nazi balls!

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    • illegible@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      How many times a day do you need to jerk off?!

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  • nerv@lemmynsfw.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Skeletal structure.

    This implies stronger bones and stronger joints. With a stronger framework to hold your muscles, you get a sturdier body.

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  • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Definitely my spine. There’s a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.

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    • toastmeister@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Is it a form problem?

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  • Evotech@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Probably brain, responsetime

    Who am I kidding, it’s gonna be vibrating dick

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    • Karjalan@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Good newss! If you use a massage gun pressed right to the base of your dick, it vibrates like a vibrator.

      Great trick if she’s on top, fun for everyone

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    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I think somewhere on the internet there is a whole ass manhwa based on this concept

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  • untakenusername@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    better brain

    with that I can make more money and with that I can just buy new organs

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    • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Congrats. You now feel anxiety twice as intensely.

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      • untakenusername@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        yeah but now I can buy 2x the anxiety meds because of all my money

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  • altphoto@lemmy.today ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I asked the lady with no legs. She said bigger dick.

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  • Hyphlosion@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Sometimes I wonder if my brain was already donated.

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  • Aeri@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Heart failure is one of the biggest killers out there. I think you’d have a better odds of living a long life with some kind of super heart. Your heart is basically just a water pump that has to remain online for 100 years or you die fast.

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    • volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      That’s a good point, but in my opinion the other common deaths are way worse. Cancer? Living with the anxiety of impending death and constantly getting sicker, more in pain and being nauseous from medication? Or COPD, feeling like you are suffocating slowly? Alzheimers, Parkinsons? Or my personal fear - dying from a stupid simple cold? Man, I take a heart attack any day of the week.

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      • Aeri@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Yeah, I’m just thinking about the meta pick for general longevity.

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      • turtlesareneat@discuss.online ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I have a friend who’s losing the battle with cancer right now and I didn’t really appreciate how bad it would be. Both the cancer itself, and having this much forewarning. I would rather it be quick and surprise. For my sake lol screw everyone else

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    • Lumiluz@slrpnk.net ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Unless your lungs fail

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      • Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        The heart will take that on after the lung layoff.

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  • frog_brawler@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Upgrade my liver, stay drunk for the next 3 years and 9 months.

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    • smeenz@lemmy.nz ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Wouldn’t being able to enter a coma on demand be more useful ?

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      • frog_brawler@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Yes, but which organ do you upgrade to do that?

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  • cepelinas@sopuli.xyz ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    My stamina is shit so lungs.

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