hedge_lord
@hedge_lord@lemmy.world
- Comment on please don't tell my boss I've been posting memes on the clock 4 days ago:
Oh you finished this work ahead of schedule? Your reward is even more work! I know that you love work ;) don’t you yes you do yes you do you love it
- Comment on There are major holes in this theory 6 days ago:
The titanic WAS the iceberg! I feel like I’m going insane why can’t anyone remember this?? It was made of pykrete as part of Project Habakkuk and repurposed as an ocean liner because they thought it would be cheaper than building ships out of metal. And there weren’t any lifeboats, ice floats and the survivors could and did just cling to the wreckage. We didn’t (and still don’t) know what sunk it! It’s a whole mystery and apparently now we’re just pretending it’s solved??
!joke disclosure this is a joke!<
- Comment on Everybody talks about beliefs like they're this big important thing. 1 week ago:
I do not believe in doors. Does that mean that I think that they should not exist or that I think that they do not exist? Yes actually!
- Comment on Me when I'm posting here 2 weeks ago:
This person has nice hair I wish that I could have hair like that
- Comment on No JS, No CSS, No HTML: online "clubs" celebrate plainer websites 2 weeks ago:
- Comment on Spicy food never affects my gut and everyone thinks it's really weird. How unusual is this and what could be happening to explain why spicy food doesn't affect me? 3 weeks ago:
Same! A few days ago I consumed a very spicy hot pot meal. It was spicy enough that my eyes were watering uncontrollably and I might not have eaten it except that I do not have much money and I’d already paid for the thing (and there’s also my occasionally problematic waste aversion but I digress). In the days since I’ve been hoping to experience some toilet spice but it just hasn’t happened! I wonder if I’ll get to experience it if I get older?
- Comment on How would I pop a bag of popcorn on the microwave? 4 weeks ago:
Idk if it’d work the same for microwavable popcorn bags but a wok is a great popcorn preparation vessel. Just slap some tin foil on top to keep the popcorn in. I made pepcorn on a radiant stovetop with a flat bottom wok and it was great!
- Comment on that 1 friend who is super conservative all of a sudden 1 month ago:
It’s a chicken-wing community. For real taco enthusiasts.
- Comment on do you think freewill truly exists? 1 month ago:
I REFRAIN FROM THE PRACTICE OF UTILIZING MINISCULE SPEECH. EACH AND EVERY INSTANCE OF MY EXPRESSION IS VAST AND VERBOSE AND MAXIMAL.
- Comment on Tity more tity, the Greed is sickening 1 month ago:
A while ago my wife showed me her peregrine. I didn’t understand at first. I didn’t really want to get close to it because its beak looks sharp. Turns out it’s pretty nice though. They are very trainable and excel at hunting. The peregrine falcon is the fastest animal on the planet.
- Comment on The small scale of Lemmy's active user base is never more evident than in the absence of active members in all the sports related communities. 1 month ago:
Sometimes I wish that I was into sports, it seems very fun! I feel like I would need to know people irl who are into sports in order to get into sports though. Are sports memes a big thing? I feel like those should/could be a big thing.
- Comment on It's very friendly and well behaved. 1 month ago:
Woah it’s big!
- Comment on Squint those eyes 1 month ago:
That wasn’t very nice…
- Comment on Thats fair 1 month ago:
Gee I sure hope not
- Comment on Delicious lentil inside 2 months ago:
I want one of these for my pressure cooker
- Comment on no step on snek 2 months ago:
Pss pss pss pss
Please tread on me (sit on my lap)
- Comment on Resistance is futile 2 months ago:
It is my firm belief that any ethical culture should have a legally mandated “no, fuck off” button. You can keep the “no, thanks” or “maybe later” buttons but the “no, fuck off” button must be displayed prominently alongside them.
- Comment on fellow patriots 2 months ago:
It’s not possible for a planet to explode! And if it was then the empire didn’t do it. And if they did then it was only because Alderan started it. And if they didn’t then it’s good actually because those guys were assholes.
- Comment on Got kicked out of Hell for harshing the vibe 2 months ago:
I am sleepy, goer of to bed. I do battle with the modern world in the form of this phone that I cannot put down. It is simply too captivating. The steady march of time leads my thoughts to increasingly radical and negative patterns. My mind cannot be trusted in the bedtime hours.
- Comment on Got kicked out of Hell for harshing the vibe 2 months ago:
I am the worst. A hollow shell playing at being human with no regard for the damage it will cause. My every action rings hollow against the world and everyone can see it. They know that I have no soul. Of all existence I am a wretch too cowardly to live yet too afraid to die.
- Comment on sorry i never replied 2 months ago:
Time is a two dimensional force. One axis represents “time” as we commonly experience. The other represents the amount of starch in my stomach. Consumption of potatoes (especially fried potatoes) creates a divergence point into multiple timelines. This is why I was late to my meeting this morning.
- Comment on Got kicked out of Hell for harshing the vibe 2 months ago:
No I am the best. Everything that I do is good because it is something that I have done. Everything that I am part of is better for having me be a part of it. This power is available to you, should you have the will to believe it. No action of heaven or earth is for my detriment because all things work together for my good.
- Comment on I made a handy chart to explain to you liberals how the economy works 2 months ago:
I keep telling you did I didn’t eat your ice cream, that was Biden!
My hair was perfect before I left my house this morning, so Biden must have messed with it!
Okay yeah I don’t have my homework but that’s only because Biden ate it.
- Comment on lion 2 months ago:
My employer takes my SURPLUS VALUE in the form of PROFITS but I am a REAL PATRIOT so I don’t believe in HANDOUTS or TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION so I ROSE UP with my buddies in order to institute workplace DEMOCRACY.
- Comment on Call now, and we will give you a second can F R E E! 2 months ago:
Upside is this is a really good deal for the price. Downside is I didn’t expect there to be so many crabs
- Comment on Am I going crazy, or has people's spelling gotten awful lately? 2 months ago:
This dog murdered my family okay it is a really bad dog and it’s evil and bad but also really cute so idk if I can hold a grudge against it but what it can hold against me is the gun that it has pressed to my temple because it has forbidden me from using any punctuation in this run-on paragraph
- Comment on ⭐ Enviar un regalo 2 months ago:
I don’t know why we’d want to
- Comment on Am I going crazy, or has people's spelling gotten awful lately? 2 months ago:
A while ago I became terribly aware of people writing things like “apostrope’s” to indicate plurality. I was pretty convinced that it was a new thing, but I’ve since found examples of people doing that far in the past! I’m not sure if they were doing it at the same rate but they had been doing it for a while.
I know that some foreign language speakers use this as part of their grammar, but they do so according to a rule system. The people I encounter doing this have only ever known american english and do so without any apparent consistency. If you’re going to alter your grammar in that way, at least make it consistent! Like these weirdos. Professionals have standards.
- Comment on I hate it there 2 months ago:
Having my first child taught me the crucial skill of delegation. Prior to this I carried that child around for nine months, but I didn’t let that get in the way of things. I never missed a meeting, not even during labour. I’m still working upwards of 12 hours per day and that’s because I know how to market my child. When a company grows, the founder and leaders are rewarded. The same is true of children. At only four months old my child has a projected net worth of 20 million, and I have crowds of investors looking for a place in their life. Creating market value is a key aspect of a child that many first-time parents overlook.
- Comment on On the struggle bus 2 months ago:
We put faces on our sugary treats in order to weed out empathy in our young. Put a human and a sugar chicken in the same room. The human will devour the sugar chicken while its friends watch.